Moving slowly

LiftedUp

LiftedUp

Well-Known Member
What do you think about this scenario?

I met this guy... about a month ago. We talk whole day every single day via text and phone calls and I enjoy our conversations. He initiates it every single time.

Now I'm very picky and have consciously decided to date differently. I am typically attracted to alpha-ish, extroverted-ish type of guys and that was the personality of all of my exes. This guy is the absolute opposite of that. He's introverted and a homebody. I would've never seen myself with someone like him and he feels the same way regarding me.

During the time we've met I've been going out with my friends as usual and he has been at home doing w/e. We only went out on one date. My experience has been that during our last date we plan the next one or for the latest a day or two after. I was thinking that maybe he is just not that into me or it's something else. Also, he is for a fact single.

Though I don't particularly want to because I think I've found "the one", I've decided to start seeing other people because I'm beginning to resent this situation. I've also switched off my phone for the rest of the night (I get that I'm probably being too available) and have made plans for later.

What is your perspective on all of this? Now I want to be in a relationship with him, and I do think that he's a great guy, but to be honest, I think he needs to wine and dine me, buy me gifts, and convince me that he's the right guy for me and I'm not getting that.
 
I don't understand why you would not continue to see other people when you've been on 1 date and the two of you haven't decided together that you're a couple. I am so confused.
 
Wait, what? :huh:

You are contradicting yourself. How is he "the one" when by your own admission you're still waiting for him to do all these things to convince you that he's the right guy?

And one date in a month? :nono:
 
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LiftedUp said:
What do you think about this scenario?

I met this guy... about a month ago. We talk whole day every single day via text and phone calls and I enjoy our conversations. He initiates it every single time.

Now I'm very picky and have consciously decided to date differently. I am typically attracted to alpha-ish, extroverted-ish type of guys and that was the personality of all of my exes. This guy is the absolute opposite of that. He's introverted and a homebody. I would've never seen myself with someone like him and he feels the same way regarding me.

During the time we've met I've been going out with my friends as usual and he has been at home doing w/e. We only went out on one date. My experience has been that during our last date we plan the next one or for the latest a day or two after. I was thinking that maybe he is just not that into me or it's something else. Also, he is for a fact single.

Though I don't particularly want to because I think I've found "the one", I've decided to start seeing other people because I'm beginning to resent this situation. I've also switched off my phone for the rest of the night (I get that I'm probably being too available) and have made plans for later.

What is your perspective on all of this? Now I want to be in a relationship with him, and I do think that he's a great guy, but to be honest, I think he needs to wine and dine me, buy me gifts, and convince me that he's the right guy for me and I'm not getting that.
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Give it time. Only time will tell not LHCF.
good luck
 
Has he indicated that he wants something serious or are you just going with the flow?
 
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We knew each other before then reconnected. He said that he wants something serious. I'm just feeling really annoyed by this lol.
 
One date is too soon. If he really likes you he'll come up with ways for you guys to hang out. One date in 1 month if you guys live in the same city means he probably isn't as into you as you think.
I wouldn't settle down/commit to him just based on the information posted here
 
Thanks barbiesocialite and pre_medicalrulz :bighug:

LiftedUp said:
We knew each other before then reconnected. He said that he wants something serious. I'm just feeling really annoyed by this lol.
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If you guys are on the same page, I would suggest just bringing it up the next time you speak to him. That way you can get this off your chest and hopefully start seeing progression in your relationship. Closed mouths don't get fed!
 
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Tell him you like being wined and dined. It's been a month, you seem kinda deep into him for such a short period of time.
 
I don't feel like I should have to tell him. He's a grown man and should know better. I I think I'm trying to make him someone he's not a bad probably that's it. I want him to be me and of course that's not possible. At least in tried I guess.
 
LiftedUp said:
I don't feel like I should have to tell him. He's a grown man and should know better. I I think I'm trying to make him someone he's not a bad probably that's it. I want him to be me and of course that's not possible. At least in tried I guess.
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You said he hasn't dated a woman like you, you haven't dated a man like him. How can he rise to expectations that he doesn't know you have? It's early for that "you should know" stuff, IMO.
 
Now I'm very picky and have consciously decided to date differently. I am typically attracted to alpha-ish, extroverted-ish type of guys and that was the personality of all of my exes. This guy is the absolute opposite of that. He's introverted and a homebody. I would've never seen myself with someone like him and he feels the same way regarding me.
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not feeling it. would put it squarely in the "no" pile personally but if youre an optimist...
 
Pls excuse the typos in advance.

I feel like I'm one of those women complaining that I can't find a good black man. Now one is smack dab in my face I'm still finding things to complain about.

He's tried to ask me out again buy hasn't really gotten there. Before we reached this point, he has tried to ask me out 2/3 tones over the years. He admitted that he always thought I would've turned him down.

I just think that this whole process is slow and it has me irritated.
 
I think you are making yourself too available, but I also think you should let him know your expectations so he can atleast try to meet them.
 
The first few responses to the OP had me cracking up. :lol::lol::lol:

Back to the OP, I'm going through something kinda similar with a man I'm interested in.:look: If he's more introverted and not very outgoing and you're used to dating alphas then you've got a mismatch in expectations.:ohwell: He can't meet a standard he doesn't know about. So tell him what you want and see what he does.
 
So you like him but you don't think he is aggressive enough in trying to woo you? I really would date others in that situation. You don't have to exclude him from the rotation but he needs to step it up or be left behind. Work it into conversation somehow what you want/need and then just fall back.
 
LiftedUp said:
I don't feel like I should have to tell him. He's a grown man and should know better. I I think I'm trying to make him someone he's not a bad probably that's it. I want him to be me and of course that's not possible. At least in tried I guess.
Click to expand...

:nono:
How is he going to meet your expectations if you have not made them clear? He can't read your mind.
 
Hey dude you got to wine and dine me or else :lol: I love my alphas they're like going to make you like me because who doesn't like me lol.
 
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