Mom is telling me I can't co-wash daily anymore

[equestrian]

haha so most of you know it tends to be mom that causes all the ruckess when your trying to grow your hair out. When I first started my daily-cowashing routine my mom wouldn't notice my hair was wet as I would put the scarf on. She recently spotted me walking around with wet hair on a daily basis and of course she had to have an opinion. Here's what she's telling me everytime she sees that I co-washed my hair

1. I know you don't wanna listen to me but your going to "wear your hair out" if you get it wash all the time. See how your hair's all frizzy (I'm thinking mom I just woke up)
2. Washing your hair too much will dry it out(I responded saying I wasn't even using shampoo more than once a week, and she said that "simply getting it wet all the time will dry it out" huh? erplexed)
3. Getting your hair wet too much is not good if you want to grow your hair out

And she once asked me. "What are you using to condition it". And I know she belives in "white hair product and black hair product" thing, so I cautiously mumbled "um... garnier" under my breathe. (my dad ushually takes me to the CVS and I go in by myself so they don't really know what i use ) And she was like "You know that stuff's for white people right." And I told her it works really good on my hair and that people on hair forums use it. She goes "and these are black people right?". I'm say "both black and white people" Then proceeded to tell her that . All black hair needs is more moisture and a little less shampooing and thats about it. Then she mumbled something and stopped talking.

I'm actually currently waiting for her to go to her meeting so I can shampoo.

haha just sharing.
Oh any advice on how to convince her co-washing is fine. Or at least get it through her mind that it's my hair? So I don't have go all undercover just to co-wash my hair I'm thinking of showing her the "co-washing and bunning key 2 WL hair"
thread but considering her natural skeptical nature I'm sure she will think all you are wearing weaves.

 

[merilusmims]

Its gonna be okay my mom tells me these things constaqntly right now were fighting over how long i should wait to get a relaxer.Once she starts seeing your progress her mind will change

 

[angellike]

hehe, keep that scarf on thats what i do lol, but my my never says anything about the "strange" things i do with my hair, i guess cuz its longer than its ever been

 

[melissa-bee]

Lol. What's your mum's hair like? My mum was saying something similar when i did my co-wash trial when i first heard about it. I've stopped for now but once i'm fully natural i'd be hearing "advice" all over the place.

 

[equestrian]

Lol. What's your mum's hair like? My mum was saying something similar when i did my co-wash trial when i first heard about it. I've stopped for now but once i'm fully natural i'd be hearing "advice" all over the place.

It's short. Maybe full neck length. Or just scraping shoulder length. It's colored.

 

[SelahOco]

I've found that if I show people a few Fotki's of obviously 4-type hair that is long and strong, people will leave me alone. Find some threads or Fotkis that you love and show your mother that this community if FULL of woman who've learned how to grow long hair.

Tell her to think about it. Many black women share her thoughts about avoiding water and "white" products, but most of them have short hair. You're meeting women who've gone against the grain and benefited because of it. Just tell her you think there's something to it, and it's been working for you so far.

Once she see's the pics she might wonder if the women are mixed, but once she realizes they aren't she'll be less prone to judge you, I think. I'm guessing she won't be convinced until your hair gets longer, but she'll probably back off out of curiosity.

 

[equestrian]

haha my mom and dad are going out to buy the "Ipad" from the apple store and I told em I'd stay here. Can't wait to shampoo lol

@ ShelahOo yeah thats what I'm planning on doing. haha.

She'd rather me buy horse products than Garnier. With MTG she didn't say much but she gives me the look of death as I'm handing my garnier to the cashier.

 

[SmilingElephant]

I had this SAME problem when i started my HHJ. I told my mother....have you ever tried it? So how do you know its not gonna work? My hair is gonna be ALL down my back...watch. She'd get mad and make comments to hurt my feelings....but i ignored her...i had my dad to support me...he even AGREED with what i was learning!!! PLUS i had my sister who had just started transitioning....now i got my hair all down my back, and my sister has this huge juicy afro that i just ADORE!!! And all she does is asks us for our shampoo and conditioner

Sometimes i want to help her grow HER hair out...but she's not willing to put in the work to do it....with finding what works and what doesn't and the no-heat styles. But she loves my hair now

Some ppl just have to see the results. She'll get over it...trust me. Jus do what works for you and your hair will WOW her.

 

[Lady S]

Have you invited her to look at some the pics our members have?

Of course you could be really sneaky and buy some cheapie "black" shampoo, pour it down the drain and then poor the garnier into the bottle.

 

[lilsparkle825]

I don't have any advice specifically about your mom unfortunately, because my mom looked at me like I was crazy, but then transitioned right along with me and now cowashes a few times a week herself.

As far as my COUSIN, who is the hugest skeptic, i showed her this video by chinablk and her jaw literally dropped. She paused it on the pic of her hair now, then fast forwarded to the before pic, and showed her bf and mom before grilling me about what I do to my hair.

Up to an hour before that, she was convinced I was using magic spells or something to get my hair from "all chopped off" two years ago to the lush ponytail that I was rocking that day. As a matter of fact, she swore it was a weave even AFTER weave checking me (I literally had to unbraid my hair to convince her), so at least now she knows that it's washing my hair with conditioner (she doesn't know the term yet, but I'm cool with that) that is helping me out. No magic or falling out hair here.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

I'm thinking of showing her the "co-washing and bunning key 2 WL hair"
thread but considering her natural skeptical nature I'm sure she will think all you are wearing weaves.

you're right. i've read of people tryin to show examples of black women with long hair on this site, and the naysayer usually says 'they must be mixed' or 'those are weaves' or 'they have good/different hair'. ♥

 

[aymone]

I think that when she sees the results, she will be asking you for advice. Thus, make sure you take pictures and have a sort of set regimen to help you build your case later!!

 

[supermodelsonya]

I don't know. Since you stated that you have color, stress to her the importance of having moisture in your hair or else it will break from the color....and she doesn't want that on her hands, does she?

 

[supermodelsonya]

Have you invited her to look at some the pics our members have?

Of course you could be really sneaky and buy some cheapie "black" shampoo, pour it down the drain and then poor the garnier into the bottle.

I totally agree with this.

 

[southerncitygirl]

my mom is thh same way for the most part, but since she sees my hair is the longest its ever been she's intrigued.....I told her to use up what she has and once the weather breaks i'll show her how to style her hair....she makes me cringe I've told her 100,000 times to stop combing her hair dry without moisturizer or condtioner I hear it popping as she's combing it and it drive me nuts....LAWD I wanna snatch the comb outta her hand. but i don't co-wash I just wash weekly and moisturize my protective style is wigs and she hates it. she doesn't understand that its helping me to retain length cause i'm not doing anything to it. she likes that its natural she thinks its pretty though. my aunties want to go natural and my mom already is and my cousin who is a hairstylist has more clients who want to transition and is asking me about products.

 

[teacherjess]

Nothing speaks louder than results. Keep on keepin' on and when your hair gets lush and long, momma may just be sneaking around co- washing with Garnier when you're not home....
HHG!