Men with money who are trying to spend $$$$ on you

A

Aveena

New Member
I'm dating again. The last guy I dated for several months but I had to be honest that things (although they were progressing) were not satisfying my intimacy needs.

So... we agreed to split no love lost.

MAN!!!! It's a jungle out here.

I'm mentally prepared but I feel that it is going to take a while before I find the one.

I've been going on LOTS of dates... today I had two dates and had to turn down a third because I am mentally taxed.

At lunch today my 1st date offered to pay my bills and take me shopping. HE IS NOT THE FIRST GUY TO OFFER THIS btw. A guy last week did the same thing.

I met both on BPM saw him for the first time today and he already offered to take me shopping wednesday and wants me to go out of town (miami) at his expense!!!!!

The other guy (from last week) offerred to surprise me with a 'gift' and wanted to know what size dress I wear. :look: again 1st date!!!! :ohwell:

My last SO was so cheap... but I didn't know guys were tricking like this???

I guess it's a sign of the times? but both of these guys are over 40... oh dear....

I know the PC thing is to not accept these gifts but one guy is making it so tempting... I need guidance.
 
btw... I'm 39 y/o divorced and although I want to get married I am not interested in starting a family. Most of the men I meet are 40ish and are already established have grown kids etc... Some of them just seem to want to lavishly spend.

*sigh
 
This may sound coarse, but 'are you ready to put out?' :ohwell:
Do these men seem to want to expect payment?
 
omg. I was going to decline and the guy was like "sooooo you need to be in a relationship to accept gifts?" had me starting to think...

lol Mind you I'm not talking about taking advantage of anyone I'm just not accustomed. I guess I need to start.
 
awhyley said:
This may sound coarse, but 'are you ready to put out?' :ohwell:
Do these men seem to want to expect payment?
Click to expand...

I can take it!! :yep: no offense taken... and of course I was giving this one guy the side eye for sure but at the end of the day it seems that my company is all that he wants?

I personally don't feel comfortable going out of town for saftey reasons.

I don't believe in turning all gifts down but I guess I need to figure out how much is too much to accept.

Because these are grown men and they know that I can walk at anytime.
 
:look:

Maybe it's just me, but I never turn down a gift. I let it be known up front that there will be NO sexual tit for tatting going on, and be sure to be gracious and appreciative going forward.

Shoooot. I wish a man would. :rofl: I should ask DH how he would feel about that.
 
:rofl:

He said that as long as I wasn't offering nor giving nana, and as long as I shared the wealth, it was all good. :lachen: He said that such a situation was highly unlikely, but if it even happened.... well. No shade from him.

I freaking love this man. :infatuated: He's so much like me. :look:
 
Girl whats you secret....Sike. LOL!

Unless you really like him, dont expect. That's my philosphy. Let them pay for dinner, movies, shows, etc... but extra nope. It gets really drama'ish when you start tricking with these dudes when you know you dont want him.
 
JustKiya said:
:look:

Maybe it's just me, but I never turn down a gift. I let it be known up front that there will be NO sexual tit for tatting going on, and be sure to be gracious and appreciative going forward.

Shoooot. I wish a man would. :rofl: I should ask DH how he would feel about that.
Click to expand...

You are not alone :look:
 
If he is giving(and I like him), I am receiving. As you said, all parties are grown so let them know what the deal is up front.
 
My opinion: Anything on the actual date is fine. That includes things acquired during a "shopping date"... even though I wouldn't buy anything too high end.

Anything beyond the date is going too far. IE Don't accept him paying your bills or paying for your grooming/ maintenance.
 
I ain't mad!! One of my friends got it like that as well. Men are always trying to buy her things and SHE DOESN'T PUT OUT!!

My advice if they are willing to buy you those things then accept it. But let them know upfront where you stand. But be careful, most men think they own you if they buy you something.
 
Is this really a problem? As long as you don't become dependent on them and you don't let money blind you to judging their overall character, not a big problem I don't think. As far as them wanting sex from you, honestly, it is not my experience that men who spend little to nothing on you want sex any less from you. In fact in my limited experience, it was just the opposite, though I understand others' experience may vary.
 
BLIZZARD!!!! Chile puleez....

what?

You only live once...why deny yourself, when it should be all about you anyway. bein olda myself, most men at that age range, wants someone they can spend time with, spend money on, and not expect anything in return. plus, it's an ego boost for them...know what i'm sayin...like 'yeah, i bought her this, that...." and make sure when u get it, you lookin good in it.

so its an ego boost for them, and one for you. dayum dat bullshyt. i'd be on da first thing smokin outta this dc area for a minute...its funny cuz most bytches would be like.... "if he pays all ur bills, and wants to pay your way on a trip, don't give him no puddi..." which i don't understand, cuz dem same bytches be givin up da puddi for free and can't even get a cheeseburger off da dolla menu.

they be tryna use they puddi to be on some come up and neva git up....
 
As long as you let it be known UP FRONT that it's not a down payment on the P, go for it. Better to fall for a dude that likes to do for you than to fall for one that doesn't.
 
mwedzi said:
Is this really a problem? As long as you don't become dependent on them and you don't let money blind you to judging their overall character, not a big problem I don't think. As far as them wanting sex from you, honestly, it is not my experience that men who spend little to nothing on you want sex any less from you. In fact in my limited experience, it was just the opposite, though I understand others' experience may vary.
Click to expand...

:yep: Thank You! I really had to think about my knee-jerk reation to frown on the guy even though I like (him/them) just because they made an offer for a "shopping date".

I'm no gold digger for sure but in regard to the bolded that is surely the Truth!!!! :yep:

Thanks guys I think this may have been an esteem issue rearing it's head. I've got to snap out of it!!!
 
very typical behavior for men over 40---i feel like they know whats up--and they know what women like--at least most of them do--and women like to be wined and dined

girlll have fun--your 39---enjoy it!!!

and i truly feel like every man should be wining and dining their woman---within their financial capibility---y not--y not wine and dine the person your with--makes sense to me ;o)

that has been my mantra----my dad made sure he took care of my mom--with his wining and dining and just being there and catering to what made her smile--my bros r the same way--my bros wine and dine me and my dad did so for me it goes with my package

wining and dining is diff to every woman----so its always good to know a man is tapping into what makes you smile...

;o)

eta--thinking back to when my lil 10 yr old boyfriend use to spend his chore money on icecream for me after school and i saved my lil chore money lol--felt good back then and still does till this day--ya dig!!
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
BLIZZARD!!!! Chile puleez....

what?

You only live once...why deny yourself, when it should be all about you anyway. bein olda myself, most men at that age range, wants someone they can spend time with, spend money on, and not expect anything in return. plus, it's an ego boost for them...know what i'm sayin...like 'yeah, i bought her this, that...." and make sure when u get it, you lookin good in it.

so its an ego boost for them, and one for you. dayum dat bullshyt. i'd be on da first thing smokin outta this dc area for a minute...its funny cuz most bytches would be like.... "if he pays all ur bills, and wants to pay your way on a trip, don't give him no puddi..." which i don't understand, cuz dem same bytches be givin up da puddi for free and can't even get a cheeseburger off da dolla menu.

they be tryna use they puddi to be on some come up and neva git up....
Click to expand...

:grin: Dating guys in the older pool is like night and day from the younger ones I'm used to dating.

:yep: @ the bolded!!! truer words have never been spoken. If my ex took me to Olive Garden he thought he was doing something!! :perplexed
 
IMO sounds like game and not even good game. Men who are generous usually don't go around telling women on a first date that they will pay their bills. A generous man might inquire about your favorite stores and more than likely he will buy you a gift or take you shopping soon after. They just make it happen.

Also guys that talk like that are usually total losers and more than likely can barley pay their own bills. They spit this type of game to women who they think are naive. Not saying that you are OP, but it doesn't seem like you have dated generous men in the past and those of us who have can recognize game.

I hope I didn't come across as abrasive but I'm just keeping it real.
 
Mrs. N Lugo said:
IMO sounds like game and not even good game. Men who are generous usually don't go around telling women on a first date that they will pay their bills. A generous man might inquire about your favorite stores and more than likely he will buy you a gift or take you shopping soon after. They just make it happen.
Click to expand...

I agree with this.
 
Hmmm, I don't know. Men your age are very much interested in marrying someone much younger, like 22. They flip out crazy around middle-age. But they are very keen to attach to divorcees for all the wrong reasons. Some guy who was a friend once said that they literally can sense when a woman hasn't had sex for awhile. As it is very tempting to accept this guy's gifts, I'd be wary. He's probably up to no good because when a young-in comes around, he'll dump like a hot potato. Why men equate strong and successful divorcees with "desperate," I'll never know. Men just think with their ahem. Don't do it.
 
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