Men who go out of their way to....

[blasianbeauty]

treat attractive/pretty women badly to "show them" they are not all that. Do you know anyone personally, or have you been on the receiving end of this type of treatment? To make a long story short, I just had an interesting conversation with one of my brothers who recently met who he considers a dime, and he mentioned that all of her life she's had it easy, and he got somethin for her ***. erplexed I asked him why even waste your time with said woman? She'll probably end up leaving you anyway! He didn't say much thereafter. But anyhow...this baffles me. I wonder if my brother is the only knucklehead out there with this sort of mentality.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

I think it's very common among AA manchildren.

 

[phynestone]

He's unstable and insecure. So someone is "successful" by way of looks, material items, a career and you want to bring them down? Reminds me that there are people who are jealous and would be so happy to bring another "down." Jerk off!

 

[hopeful]

There was a thread awhile back I think in the OT section about men who do this. Is your brother an insecure or mean person? This is one of those things you can barely stand to hear about because it's so troubling.

 

[blasianbeauty]

I think it's very common among AA manchildren.

Funny...but you may be onto something. :scratchch I wonder why this is the case more with us than with other races.

 

[blasianbeauty]

There was a thread awhile back I think in the OT section about men who do this. Is your brother an insecure or mean person? This is one of those things you can barely stand to hear about because it's so troubling.

See that's the thing, he's not insecure (as far as I know) and he's very handsome. Maybe this particular woman said some things in particular that set him off so now he wants her to "pay". Do you recall who the author was of that thread? I'm going to search for it.

 

[MizzBrown]

It's not just AA men. AA women do this too. Think about it.

 

[hopeful]

See that's the thing, he's not insecure (as far as I know) and he's very handsome. Maybe this particular woman said some things in particular that set him off so now he wants her to "pay". Do you recall who the author was of that thread? I'm going to search for it.

I'm not sure but I think Lucie posted in it (not 100% sure). It was eye-opening though and sad.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I think its said and just plain pitiful. And I agree with Mizz Brown I've known some women that have that same mentality

 

[Bachelorette]

Um no offence OP but your brother sounds creepy. I'd warn any woman to stay away from him

People that make comments like that will do ANYTHING to bring a person down, infact they are the types you see sabotaging contraceptives just so the person will be linked to them forever/kicking them off a pedestal

Cos you know how dare black women have a pedestal

Im sincerely spooked out

 

[HollyGolightly]

It's something that pickup artists do intentionally. They call it negging.
http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/neg-hit/

Neg hits, or more commonly negs (short for “negative hits”), are quick, sometimes humorous remarks used by PUAs to get past the ***** shield of hot women. Many men, when approaching an HB, make the mistake of immediately lavishing them with compliments. This rarely ever works because it is a) not genuine, b) places the girl on a pedestal, and c) is what every other guy does.

By negging a target, a PUA avoids falling into this trap. An example of a commonly used neg in the seduction community is: “Nice nails, are they real?” A comment like this accomplishes a number of things. First, it brings the woman (especially very attractive women, who are used to getting compliments) down a notch, and shows that the PUA is not overawed by her beauty. Second, it creates a bit of a challenge, so if the woman is at all interested, she will start chasing the PUA, and trying to win his approval.

 

[ThickHair]

Men who do that have issues. What is their point? Cause they can do it? Usually the men feel they are not good enough for the woman so they try to "bring her down" a little. SMH, it makes no sense.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

That is a tactic men use on women's self-esteem in order to get them to do "what they want" them to do... to prove their value.

That's why it's important to know who you are, what you want and what you deserve as a woman before you start dating.

 

[blasianbeauty]

Um no offence OP but your brother sounds creepy. I'd warn any woman to stay away from him

People that make comments like that will do ANYTHING to bring a person down, infact they are the types you see sabotaging contraceptives just so the person will be linked to them forever/kicking them off a pedestal

Cos you know how dare black women have a pedestal

Im sincerely spooked out

No offense taken...I know he's wrong for thinking that way. I've tried calling him to see exactly what the woman said/did/looks like for him to say some crap like that.

 

[awhyley]

I asked him why even waste your time with said woman? She'll probably end up leaving you anyway! He didn't say much thereafter.

Which is EXACTLY what he thinks, if she even gives him the time of day. It's the insecurity, which is why he thinks that if he can 'break her down', then he'll have a chance.

Men who do that have issues. What is their point? Cause they can do it? Usually the men feel they are not good enough for the woman so they try to "bring her down" a little. SMH, it makes no sense.

It makes sense, because some women actually fall for it. Just because a woman is hot, doesn't mean that her self-esteem is the best.

That is a tactic men use on women's self-esteem in order to get them to do "what they want" them to do... to prove their value.

That's why it's important to know who you are, what you want and what you deserve as a woman before you start dating.

An A+ post!

No offense taken...I know he's wrong for thinking that way. I've tried calling him to see exactly what the woman said/did/looks like for him to say some crap like that.

It's not about what the woman looks like, it's about HOW your brother feels about the situation.

 

[awhyley]

By the way, Here is the thread from back then (I had it subscribed):

Entitled: "I just want to date her to bring her down . . . "

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=375629

(Maybe your brother should read that thread as well. It was very informative.)

 

[Almaz]

And I say BS to all of this. Back when I was very young and looking for a husband a man said to me ounce wow Almaz you are cute but you gained a little weight.

I was like Yeah I heard from your ex-girlfriend that you need to gain a little weight in your croutch

yes I can LOOOSE the weight but can YOU gain a bigger d/ck She told me you could not even bust a grape in Welch's back yard

It's something that pickup artists do intentionally. They call it negging.
http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/neg-hit/

 

[Honi]

And I say BS to all of this. Back when I was very young and looking for a husband a man said to me ounce wow Almaz you are cute but you gained a little weight.

I was like Yeah I heard from your ex-girlfriend that you need to gain a little weight in your croutch

yes I can LOOOSE the weight but can YOU gain a bigger d/ck She told me you could not even bust a grape in Welch's back yard

shut it down right there!

Xcuse me cause I'm gonna have to steal that line. Priceless!

 

[mw138]

And I say BS to all of this. Back when I was very young and looking for a husband a man said to me ounce wow Almaz you are cute but you gained a little weight.

I was like Yeah I heard from your ex-girlfriend that you need to gain a little weight in your croutch

yes I can LOOOSE the weight but can YOU gain a bigger d/ck She told me you could not even bust a grape in Welch's back yard

 

[Bunny77]

And I say BS to all of this. Back when I was very young and looking for a husband a man said to me ounce wow Almaz you are cute but you gained a little weight.

I was like Yeah I heard from your ex-girlfriend that you need to gain a little weight in your croutch

yes I can LOOOSE the weight but can YOU gain a bigger d/ck She told me you could not even bust a grape in Welch's back yard

OMG! I love it... great answer!!!!!

By the way, I saw that you said you were looking for a husband back then... I've heard more than a few women from marriage-oriented cultures say they "looked" for husbands. Is that generally considered to be common?

(Sorry for the temporary hijack Blasianbeauty... I'll get it back on track, but what Almaz said fascinated me... in so many ways! )

 

[Bunny77]

It's something that pickup artists do intentionally. They call it negging.
http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/neg-hit/

Thanks for posting this... this is where I first heard about this phenomenon.

The funny thing is, that example they gave "nice nails, are they real" would totally go over my head... I'd be like, "Thanks, they sure are!" or "Nope, I just have a great manicurist!" and not even be phased.

Such men are so ridiculous... but the sad thing is, like Lauryn said, if women don't know their true worth, they probably would become easy prey for such men who intentionally want to bring a woman down.

 

[DarkVictory]

It's something that pickup artists do intentionally. They call it negging.

There used to be a guy on the radio who recommended this as a tactic.

He also used to have tips on how to get a super-hot-but-painfully-insecure-and-possibly-mentally-unbalanced woman out of your life.

 

[Bunny77]

There used to be a guy on the radio who recommended this as a tactic.

He also used to have tips on how to get a super-hot-but-painfully-insecure-and-possibly-mentally-unbalanced woman out of your life.

That's Tom Leykis, right? He had some list called "The Leykis Rules" that laid out these types of tactics.

So silly...

 

[Aveena]

And I say BS to all of this. Back when I was very young and looking for a husband a man said to me ounce wow Almaz you are cute but you gained a little weight.

I was like Yeah I heard from your ex-girlfriend that you need to gain a little weight in your croutch

yes I can LOOOSE the weight but can YOU gain a bigger d/ck She told me you could not even bust a grape in Welch's back yard

That's how you have to come at them!!!!!!! Hard and fast!!!!! and with a smile

 

[YankeeCandle]

And I say BS to all of this. Back when I was very young and looking for a husband a man said to me ounce wow Almaz you are cute but you gained a little weight.

I was like Yeah I heard from your ex-girlfriend that you need to gain a little weight in your croutch

yes I can LOOOSE the weight but can YOU gain a bigger d/ck She told me you could not even bust a grape in Welch's back yard

I you. Always and forever.

 

[Lucie]

The only guy who ever broke up to me admitted me to dated me as a bet. A bet that he could get me to fall in love with him. I did fall in love. He admitted it to show his honesty and that he was wrong for what he did but that wasn't my problem. He grew up in the projects, was a street pharmacist and I was a middle class girl from a decent area with strong family ties used to getting what I wanted. Thinking about men like this makes me sick.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I have definitely seen this... I cannot count how many times a black man has told me "you think you're special" with hatred gleaming in his eyes. So many black men HATE us and want to break us down, abuse and degrade us in every way possible. And after they do, they tell us how it's our fault to begin with.

 

[phynestone]

I have definitely seen this... I cannot count how many times a black man has told me "you think you're special" with hatred gleaming in his eyes. So many black men HATE us and want to break us down, abuse and degrade us in every way possible. And after they do, they tell us how it's our fault to begin with.

The hate comes from so many areas too. It isn't just limited to those who had a bad relationship with Mom.

 

[ThickHair]

I have definitely seen this... I cannot count how many times a black man has told me "you think you're special" with hatred gleaming in his eyes. So many black men HATE us and want to break us down, abuse and degrade us in every way possible. And after they do, they tell us how it's our fault to begin with.

Then they go to Ms. Becky, because we don't know how to handle them and their BS. Insert eye roll.

 

[LoveLiLi]

I have definitely seen this... I cannot count how many times a black man has told me "you think you're special" with hatred gleaming in his eyes. So many black men HATE us and want to break us down, abuse and degrade us in every way possible. And after they do, they tell us how it's our fault to begin with.

You hate to think this, but it's true in some cases. I had an ex who said being with me was the best thing that ever happened to him, he felt like a king etc. He then proceeded to talk to me/treat me like trash.

His favorite line was "Who do you think you is?!" The grammar alone should have sent me packing.

He later said it was because he thought I was a better person than he was, he wasn't good enough for me and I would leave him anyway.

It took me some time to realize that a person who doesn't think anything of themselves doesn't have it in them to think anything of you. It still hurts to this day, though.