Men: Their perception of women with natural hair

[PPGbubbles]

Do you think hair type influences a man's reaction/perception?

once again I guess it depends on region lol

In Cali the silky 3ish hairtypes are more desired than kinkier hair types.

I have had convos with my guy friends and they like it when the "mixed girls" wear their hair curly.

During the summer a lot of the 3's rock curls but I hardly see any of the 4's rockin WnGos

 

[melodies815]

My hubby loves my hair.

The only negative comments I have gotten have been from my stepdad and my mom...who felt that I was going through some "black phase." I can't even address their thoughts because they make no sense to me. I'm too old to be going through a black phase, having been black all my life. *groan*

I just happen to like how I am naturally made.

So far, I have gotten no comments from other men and no looks that I have noted either...though DH told me someone honked their horn at me. He noticed. I didn't. I'd say overall, everything is positive.

cj

 

[LIKI51]

I have been natural for 5 years now and I regularly rock curls. I live in NY so no one give it a second thought or a second look. My DH likes it curly and love it straight because of the length. He loves the smell of the natural products I use and tells me that all the time. Kinda weird him sniffing my hair!!

On the other hand...when I go visit my family in North Carolina...the comments from the family are always when am I going to straighten it. Others that I have run into assume that I am mixed but that is not that case. That bothers me when people assume a black women can't have long hair or can't have curls without their being some caucasian influence.

 

[dynamic1]

Men are individuals. One or two opinions shouldn't hold so much significance.

It amazes me the emphasis women place on the words of a few men. Even more amazing, when this info is used to school other women on what men like or dislike. Are people making hair decisions based on what most men think...what they perceive men think...or what other women told them men think?

I have always worn hair I like, and it has served me well. Ironically, the only negative or ignorant comments I have heard about natural, kinky hair came from women (usually referring to what men prefer).

 

[ilah]

I live in So Cal, an old bf of mine always wanted me to go natural but I wasn't ready to makle that change yet. When I did decide to go natural it never crossed my mind how I would be percieved by men. When I told my current boyfriend about going natual he was fine with it and has no qualms with me looking crazy durring my transition (w/ out the bc).

I've worn my hair relaxed, in extentions, in microbraids and down...I guess I get the most "attention" from men when I was wearing it relaxed and down...

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

Well let me tell you Northern California isn't much better!! I went home for Christmas, back to Oakland, and the first thing I noticed was that I'm the only woman with obviously natural hair there. And I had a 10 inch blown out fro too? Lawd gracious, I was stared at, even though I'd pulled it back. I twisted it for a wedding (for my grandmother's sake, who couldn't stand the thought of my hair all "out" like that). I was relieved to come back to Virginia.

I'll be honest, I don't know that I would have gone natural if I'd stayed home. I think I would've felt too "different" erplexed. But going natural in Northern VA was no problem; I was the last of my friends to go natural so I had plenty of support and my boyfriend lurves it .

Well I'm in Southern Va and the men here like it. I'm no longer called "shawty" by them (and women) and am now called "sista." Esp. by a fellow naturals. . I've noticed a lot of white guys have been looking as well. I usually wear my hair in twist or braid outs.

 

[Smiley79]

Smiley, wow! When you spoke about that biker dude, that brought back a lot of memories! I was raised in NY but I also went to college in Daytona Beach (BCU), lived in the ATL for 9 years and now I'm out in Arizona.

I remember the first comment made to me about my hair and it was in Daytona Beach, Fl. I was texlaxed transitioning to natural and at home (NYC) all hair texture was/is acceptable... twists, knots, braids, blow outs whatever so I just knew my braid out was cute!!

So imagine my surprise when I walked past my dorm room with some girls I met and a guy called out to our group. I just looked his way and his boy gave him a questioning look and he looks at me, screws up his face and says,"Not the nappy headed chick, the cute one." I was floored! I mean, I'm aight.....I've got cute features and whatnot.....so how in the world did the texture of my hair determine my attractiveness? How about the way it showed style, my flow and brought out my features?

I later heard from his friend (who was from Michigan and thought his boy was "way off") that he was from Hollywood, Fl and that women there were only considered pretty if they had "flowing hair".

That was my first experience with that but I had many more in Florida including a biker in St. Petersburg, Fl. who said that "hair like that looks like it stinks!"

Years later and even though I am relaxed, I still hear the snide comments and the hesitant glances BM give BW with natural hair here in Arizona and less in places like Atlanta or MD/DC/VA. Meanwhile, there's a few WM that check some of the sistas out of the corner of their eye in almost every state I go and it's NOT because they're turned off!

So I agree with those who say it might be regional amongst other things. I hope someday this vewpoint will change someday because really......we are some beautiful women and should be recognized as such!!!!

Thanks for sharing that!

~Hera

wow, what a similar and interesting sotry. Girl, I hate to categorize our Florida men as being that way (as I know they are not all like that) but overall it's just intersting the reactions and viewpoint you encounter along the way. At the end of the day, there is no final answer or verdict...so like most of us agree, DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!! HHG!

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

Natural Hair Wearer in Atlanta

The GOOD: Whenever I wear my hair out in (the only styles I do well so far) big afro puff/ afro (which is very, very, very rarely since I'm doing a braid extension regimen), Mexican guys approach, white guys approach, "Mother earthy" black guys approach, ASIAN (?!) guys even approached. I love diversity. I agree with what the girl said earlier that they approach with utmost respect saying things like "Excuse Miss?" "Good Morning Miss Lady" "How do you do today Beautiful?" "Good Day My Nubian"as opposed to "YOOO MAAA!!!" "AAA SHAAAWWWTAAAY!!!" "AAA CHOCOLATE!!!" "YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO!" Extra bonus: Other naturals approach you for exchange of hair care tips.

THE BAD: Black women with very damaged relaxed, died, fried, and laid to the side hair give you the extreme side eyes. African hair braiders chase/stalk you down to give you fliers to "get something done to that hair" When my hair was much shorter I might've heard a rude whisper from time to time "She need to slap a perm in that nappy mess."

THE UGLY: Just this past New Year's Eve I was so amazed with how big my afro puff had gotten that I wore it to the lounge/bar/resturant where some associates and I went to celebrate. I got so many compliments. However, as I was riding the elevator up with one goon he thought it was wise to say: "You know from the looks of you from head (emphasis on head) to toe, I would think that your name was Dashiki or something." erplexed I believe he said it out of spite, since I refused let him hug me since I don't hug complete strangers. I couldn't get out of that elevator fast enough! Typical "Euro-Centrically" brain-washed Black Male!

The bolded is soooo....true for the second paragraph! I've had this happened before when I was transistioning.

For the first paragraph I bolded, I meant to mention that since i've been natural, not many black men have been approaching me as well. But I've been approached respectfully as well.

 

[MrsMe]

My fiance is the one who inspired me to go natural...need I say more .
Seriously, though, he's been very encouraging throughout my journey and always had a nice word even when I looked like a mess at the beginning of my journey. When I told him I wanted to loc my hair, he welcomed the annoucement with joy and enthusiasm. He has always preferred natural hair to any other hairstyle.
Men in my family (Haitian) don't care much for natural hair... i know my cousins will ask me "what is wrong with your hair" when they see me, but that's the mentality they were raised in so I don't pay attention to it.
As previous posters mentioned, natural and confidence attract men from all races.

 

[Aviah]

Here is London it seems to be more of a norm among teens, less so among adults (unless its older ones, lets say 40s plus) However because healthy, long hair, natural or relaxed is a rarity you get more looks. Especially when its big/long. Most naturals seem to braid it up here, and tend not to wear it out. Which is probably why people compliment mine (black and otherwise) when I have it out.

 

[10WordzOrLess]

So...

When I first shaved my head, I had a superior co-worker (ARMY) who made the comment "You can't DO THAT! You're a FEMALE!", he said this with disgust.

Needless to say I ignored him.

4 months later, I wear my TWA everyday to work, and...

HE CAN'T STOP TRYING TO TOUCH IT!

Imagine it, I 6foot4inch Heavy-set GREEN MILE looking dude reaching down and TRYING TO FLUFF my POOFIE!

I knocked his big, meaty hand out of the way, and said,

"DO NOT DENT MY 'FRO!"

Telling me what I need to do with it (what kinda pick do you use? It needs more moisturizer)... and he's bald as an eagle!!!

See, it's an EXTREME thing I've found with guys, there are the ones who say slick things about my "beady beads", and then there are the ones who are running behind me trying to PET ME.

It's whatever. As long as I like it, They can KISS MY BUCKSHOTS!

 

[Geminigirl]

Yea I still get approaced by men with my natural hair. No problems here. Even in the deep south. I don't pay attention to other races of men so I am not sure if they are paying attention to me, although that's interesting and I may start paying attention.

I wonder if the men of other races are so intrigued, because with our natural hair we may be perceived as more exotic or something.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Again, for me, I think that it depends on the texture of the natural hair.

If it's more like 2-3c range, men love it. But I noticed the kinkier the hair, the less some men tend to like that type of natural hair. Like the really tightly coiled, or kinky 4b-4z type hair.

That's only what I have seen from my own eyes and heard with my own ears.

 

[Smiley79]

I agree with that...

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Well, I was a person who thought men only like 3c curls

And I actually was proven wrong.
I cut my BSL hair to a 6 inch TWA AND Im 4a/b
Men LOVE it.
They LOVE it.
I get stares, people STILL try and holla and I will even say I get MORE attention for my hair.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that I refuse to go outside looking a mess now.

 

[ActionActress]

IMO, women are way too concerned with how men feel about everything.

Who cares what men think about our hair.

CherryPie Big Hug to you! I think we as Black women are too concerned with what others think in the first place on several matters. I have had to bring myself out of what others think.

 

[southerncitygirl]

I agree

sorry to get off topic but I adore your doggie....he's too cute!!!

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Hmmmm, that's a complicated one. Living in Los Angeles, I have come across some very shallow men, with pretty ignorant viewpoints on women with natural hair. I ran into some very open-minded men, who love and embrace natural hair.

There's the "The L.A Native" who likes hair that is sleek and long, or a short and sassy hair cut (that is kept up). This guy will once in a while branch out and date a sista with more natural "Afrocentric" styles if she is model status, or of mixed race, but would never date a "Jill Scott Type". Sickening right?

Then there are the imports as I like to call them, the guys from the south, the east coast and what have you. These guys I have found are a little more tolerant on natural hair, and actually seem to embrace it more than my la native brothas.

Now of course there are exceptions to every rule, but out here in lala land, it seems as though the weaves are the majority. Hell, I would know, at one point and time I was a part of the madness. You couldn't keep me out of Extensions Plus.

Another LA native here...Benn natural 11 years..... Boy - you find all your girlfrends at the shop - and at EP.... But not me...I have been married 8 years..... And my DH finally stated that the "michelle obama' look would be nice....

Most folks in cali are trying to be straight... Anything else is just 'uncivilized'.......................And I was relaxed - SWANGIN' for 20 yeas.....