Meeting his family....

L

LunadeMiel

Well-Known Member
I've been dating this guy for almost a month (the 03 May will make it one month). He has invited me to go to a play with his mother, father, and grandmother.... :eek: I'm extremely nervous about it. What advice can you ladies give me? I haven't had to meet anyone's family in a long time so I'm a bit rusty. Also, he is from a different culture so I'm not really sure how to behave. I feel like I should know the answers to these questions...:look:

How do AAs normally great elders?
In Haitian culture it's extremely inpolite to wave or just say Hi.
What should I wear?


Btw: we are going to see Tyler Perry's the marriage counselor.

TIA
 
How do AAs normally great elders? Hello, nice to meet you. Handshake or hug. I'm a hugger.

What should I wear? As long as you are covered you should be fine.
 
You just have to be your wonderful, polite self. :yep: If you worry about it and try too hard it may come off the wrong way. Dont forget to smile. I think you should wear a nice skirt and cute blouse with minimal accessories.
 
You know, it would probably make more sense to just ASK him lol, but here's my two coins:

How do AAs normally great elders? You always want to be more respectful than not. Too much is better than not enough. None of this "Hey" business either, it's irritating.
In Haitian culture it's extremely inpolite to wave or just say Hi. You might want to greet them with a firm and sincere hand shake...make sure you smile and look in their eyes. You want to appear confident.
What should I wear? A nice conservative (Knee length) summer dress would be nice I know this sounds like common sense, but make sure your hair is done, nice mani and pedi won't hurt either. You want to look polished and put together, but also you want to look like yourself.

HTH
 
I aint Haitian but its usually the MOTHER who will be paying extra attention to you and watching you on the low.
 
taytay86 said:
You know, it would probably make more sense to just ASK him lol, but here's my two coins:


HTH
Click to expand...

I did. His reply was "Just be yourself, they'll love you"...:ohwell: I need details, instructions, and recommendations...:lachen: I'll probably make him a list of dos and don'ts before he meets mine...:blush:
 
The guy that you're dating is AA?

If so, I would say that greeting his parents with a warm smile and extending your hand for a handshake should be enough...if they initiate a hug, then follow suit.

As for dress style, I would dress conservative. Nice lenght skirt or dress or pantsuit sounds like it would be appropiate for going to this play.

Basically, just be yourself. Many AA families are not snobbish or hung up on people not being AA so you should be fine.
 
No different than Haitian culture, I guess in terms of respect.

Don't ever say anything bad about their boy in front of them. Don't criticize him or disagree with him. Now is not the time.

Say, Ms. or Mrs. So and So. No first name basis or nicknames with elders unless told by them directly. "Please to meet you" and a firm handshake while looking them in the eye with a smile. Exchange pleasantries. Give a compliment (love your bag, yada, yada).

Smile often. Mani/pedi. Lotion up -- no ashiness anywhere LOL. Splash of perfume. Light makeup. Hair well....neat and presentable.

Wear a nice dress. Nothing with too much cleavage showing or booty hugging. Take a sweater if cold in theater. Nice handbag and shoes to match. No 4 inch heels either LOL. Everything presentable -- no snags, no loose threads, no wrinkles, etc. Simple earrings and a string of nice pearls always impress older ladies. No excessive jewelry otherwise.


Enjoy!!
 
MizzBrown said:
I aint Haitian but its usually the MOTHER who will be paying extra attention to you and watching you on the low.
Click to expand...

:yep:.....also pay extra attention to her and your SO to see if he is a momma's boy. If he is then run like hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lachen:

Seriously, just be yourself and have fun. They should like you since their son clearly does. :)
 
Smile and be engaging, and don't be afraid to laugh at their jokes. There may be some teasing of the son, but don't think they want you to chime in with your own jokes...they don't know you like that yet.

Be humble, but project confidence. They will be watching you, so don't let them see you sweat!!!

Remember to breathe :yep: and have fun!
 
Smile and say Hello, like someone said shake their hands.

Don't sit under him the whole time, they will think you are antisocial, so move around and talk to his aunts, etc.

If there is food there at least attempt to eat something. AAs can't stand when someone comes to their house and then turns down there food.
 
Great advice given by the other ladies.

Interact with everyone, not just him. Stand when greeting them. No slang. Make eye contact when speaking. Be interested in learning about them.
 
Please don't wear pearls. :giggle:

I wouldn't wear a dress, either, unless you would normally wear a dress to a Tyler Perry play. Be yourself.
 
A tyler perry play is a good idea. I am sure ya'll will be cracking up. I wish you the best of luck. The ladies gave a lot of good advice.
 
envybeauty said:
...Say, Ms. or Mrs. So and So. No first name basis or nicknames with elders unless told by them directly.
Click to expand...

I totally agree with this statement. I still call my in-laws Mr. or Mrs...IDK, just out of respect.

I have 2 grown sons, and I recently met one of their girlfriends. This girl, who I had never seen before, had the nerve to call me by the nickname that my son calls me. :angry2: I wanted to :catfight: her. DH and I were appalled.

Needless to say, our "report card" on her to our son was not favorable.:rolleyes:

ETA: Your hair is beautiful...I hope your outing goes well.
 
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It sounds like he really likes you. I hope you have a wonderful time! Don't forget to report back:). Just relax, be nice and polite, have fun. I would wear a dress or skirt.
 
^^^^ Good advice :yep:
If you hit it off good with his family that will be wonderful but I would personally advise not getting too close until you are invited to be a member of the family (him proposing). I know ur prob not even thinking of that now but my cousin is in this predicament as we speak. He wants out of his relationship with his girfriend but feels stuck because he loves her family too.
 
TCatt86 said:
Smile and say Hello, like someone said shake their hands.

Don't sit under him the whole time, they will think you are antisocial, so move around and talk to his aunts, etc.

If there is food there at least attempt to eat something. AAs can't stand when someone comes to their house and then turns down there food.
Click to expand...


This is big in the south. I made this mistake in my younger years by repeatedly turning down food & drink. They thought I was the most stuckup lil thing they ever saw.
If you don't trust the food, then drink drink drink.
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
^^^^ Good advice :yep:
If you hit it off good with his family that will be wonderful but I would personally advise not getting too close until you are invited to be a member of the family (him proposing). I know ur prob not even thinking of that now but my cousin is in this predicament as we speak. He wants out of his relationship with his girfriend but feels stuck because he loves her family too.
Click to expand...

I agree.:yep:
 
LunadeMiel said:
How do AAs normally great elders?
In Haitian culture it's extremely inpolite to wave or just say Hi.
What should I wear?


Btw: we are going to see Tyler Perry's the marriage counselor.

TIA
Click to expand...


LOL, I was so worried about how to act when I met my SO's AA mother and extended family (his dad is Nigerian so I felt more comfortable). I know how Haitian people thinking but AAs are a foreign territory for me. His mother loves me, but I still don't feel comfortable around her lol
 
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LunadeMiel said:
I did. His reply was "Just be yourself, they'll love you"...:ohwell: I need details, instructions, and recommendations...:lachen: I'll probably make him a list of dos and don'ts before he meets mine...:blush:
Click to expand...

:yep::yep::yep::yep::yep::yep:

I TOTALLY understand. I schooled my SO on how to act around Haitian people so he was prepared, but he's so charming that he didn't have much problems.
 
princessnad said:
Details madame
Click to expand...

I wore slacks and a nice shirt and sweater (it was cold so I didn't want to wear a skirt). We met up him parents and grandmother at his grandmother's house (btw she's a preacher...:look:). His mom and dad were very nice to me. BTW I brought the ladies flowers...:grin: When we arrived at the beacon his aunt decided to join us, so it was me, his mother, father, grandmother, and aunt...:eek: They sent him an email the next day telling him how they thought I was pretty, very nice, and they think I would fit in well with them....:grin:
 
LunadeMiel said:
I wore slacks and a nice shirt and sweater (it was cold so I didn't want to wear a skirt). We met up him parents and grandmother at his grandmother's house (btw she's a preacher...:look:). His mom and dad were very nice to me. BTW I brought the ladies flowers...:grin: When we arrived at the beacon his aunt decided to join us, so it was me, his mother, father, grandmother, and aunt...:eek: They sent him an email the next day telling him how they thought I was pretty, very nice, and they think I would fit in well with them....:grin:
Click to expand...

Aww, that's great! Nice touch with the flowers too.:yep:
 
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