Meeting bf's mother for the first time

MochaMooch

MochaMooch

Well-Known Member
So my boyfriend's mother is moving from Ireland to England this Sunday and he wants me to pick her up from London and drive her to her new home several miles away. My boyfriend will be at work and he doesn't drive so that's why he has asked me to pick her up. He said his mum is really excited to meet me but I’m completely freaking out.

Firstly I’m a nervous driver and the thought of driving into London terrifies me. Secondly, I’ve never met his mother or even spoken to her and I feel uncomfortable about meeting her without my boyfriend there. Plus it’s going to be a long drive so I’m really nervous about sustaining conversation with her.

I'm so nervous about the whole thing! I was just wondering if anyone has any advice. Has anyone had to meet their boyfriend’s parents alone? Should I bring her a gift? What should I wear?
 
Find out what kinda music she likes and bring snacks! Just relax! I'm a nervous driver too so I feel you on that. You must relax and take it one step at a time. I didn't want to meet my moms bf at all but we talked for 4 hours straight! Don't talk abt politics or religious stuff unless you are for sure u share the same views...Mothers can talk about their kids for days so ask abt how bf was as a child....that should be fun for both of u!
 
I personally think that he is asking a bit much of you. Whether he drives or not I think it is his responsibility to figure that out. At minimum he should be with you guys if you drove. At maximum he should be handling the whole thing himself IMO (hire a driver, etc.)
 
Um just throwig you in the middle of this mess is mad rude.

how can he have you meet her for the first time ever and not be there?

I dont know. I find the whole situation really ridiculous
 
I did feel put out by the whole thing and I thought it was rude too but I felt really bad at the thought of his mum struggling with her stuff especially since she hurt her foot at christmas. I felt that if I said no then his mother would have thought that I was rude and I don't want to make a bad impression before i've even met her.
 
he should have taken off from work to pick his mother up. i don't like where this is going already. how is it she (his "mum") is going to volunteer ur time without first asking you?
where is she going to be stayin?


see, cuz i woulda been like i got sumfin to do and "mums" would be catchin a cab...
 
hopeful said:
I personally think that he is asking a bit much of you. Whether he drives or not I think it is his responsibility to figure that out. At minimum he should be with you guys if you drove. At maximum he should be handling the whole thing himself IMO (hire a driver, etc.)
Click to expand...
I have to agree that he is asking an awful lot of you to have you do this without him around. What an awkward position to put you in. On one hand, it shows that he has faith in you and thinks you will be okay with it all but on the other he should be there to support you in this. Things would be different if he were coming along for the ride but he is not. If this were an emergency situation I could see him asking you to do this but it's not.......Well, just be yourself and try to stay calm about the driving. I am sure it will work out.
 
MochaMooch said:
She's the one who asked my boyfriend to ask me to pick her up.
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I hate to say it, but I have a bad feeling already... :ohwell:
Please feel free to let me know if i'm wrong about any of this but I get the impression he's fairly close to his mother, she probably has had a hand in a lot of major decisions in his life and he probably calls her a couple of times a week? Okay I know that sounds crazy but if i'm right about any one of those i'd probably venture to say the following:
It sounds to me that he already knows how this is going to go, and, because of that, he is trying to side step the fury so to speak..and take the punk ***** way with things... I only come to this conclusion because, when me and hubby were dating, he was the same kind of punk not to mention he was whipped by his mother...I really hope i'm wrong though in your case... his mom has been a thorn in my behind since we met each other.. seriously...:nono:
but I wouldn't do it... and by the way that it sounds like she insisted to have you pick her up, it sounds like she wants to get her hooks into you, shake you up a little bit and establish herself to you (particularly because she couldn't wait to do this until he was around and do things properly..).... if you can make an excuse and bail... it's not worth the frustration it might end up presenting you..

ETA: If she wanted to do things right, IMO, she would have sympathized with how nervous this potential first meeting would be for you and wouldn't have put you on the spot.. she's already placing expectations on you (as if it would be a problem if you didn't pick her up because he couldn't) by expecting you to do a thing for her....and she knows, if for no other reason than a ploy to get her respect, you would never say no since I guess it would be implied that if you did you've already lost the battle and she's won the war... call me crazy but I think it's a trap
 
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MochaMooch said:
She's the one who asked my boyfriend to ask me to pick her up.
Click to expand...

I bet she asked him to ask you after he told her no can do, I'm working. Either they have a poor relationship and her moving was not coordinated properly with him or he is simply the kind of guy who will let a lady do anything. Doesn't sound good to me. I cannot even imagine a grown man asking any woman to pick up his mom and all of her baggage, and by the way, she has a bum foot too. No m'am I would not do it:nono:. Get out of it sweetie, this is not your responsibility. Either tell him the truth that you don't feel comfortable for numerous reasons and it's his responsibility or lie and make up an excuse. Either way, I'm sorry, you owe that woman nothing, you don't even know her. If she gon' be mad at anyone it ought to be her own grown son. I've been married nearly 24 years and I don't think my dh would ask me to do something like this. He wouldn't want me stressed out or carrying bags like a man.
 
That is not a good look. It is understandable that you will be nervous the first time meeting his mother but then you have to handle driving in an area that terrifies you and worry about making conversation too? :bricks: Dang, Boyfriend should have been a little more thorough in his plans instead of tossing it on you. He could of hired a car for his momma, shoot.
 
Just go pick her up, embrace her with a warm hug and smile a lot. You already agreed to do it... So no point in dwelling on how wrong your BF is for asking.

In the car, keep the convo simple...act interested and be friendly. Don't talk about yourself the whole time.

Make sure you leave early to get there on time.... Traffic going toward Heathrow is crazzzy!

PS: make sure your BF gives you gas money and takes both of you out to dinner
 
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