They say if you are meant to be, you will eventually end up together. I wonder about those who get with people who are married and in relationships down the line. Do you think those two were destined and meant to be together, no matter the HOW they got together. It was a discussion among friends this weekend.
Meant to be?
- Thread starter syze6
- Start date
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
"I wonder about those who get with people who are married and in relationships down the line." To clarify, you mean people who get with unavailable people?
If you are meant to be with someone, not even marriage to another person can prevent it from happening. It happens. But one person has to actively engage/pursue the other person though....
If you are meant to be with someone, not even marriage to another person can prevent it from happening. It happens. But one person has to actively engage/pursue the other person though....
MACGlossChick
Well-Known Member
Quick story- I was head over heels for this guy I met in college. I was convinced he was the one, but we never worked out. Every so often, he would reach out to me, but sometimes I would be in a relationship or we would be in different states. Finally, we got together, but it didn't work out again. I was upset and talked about it with my older friend. I told her that I thought that God kept bringing this man into my life because he was supposed to be in it. She said that maybe God kept bringing him into my life to show me that this guy wasn't worth my time, but I wasn't getting the message. Fast forward a couple of years, and he showed me that she was right.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
THIS....
Also, I no longer believe in The ONE being just ONE.
I equate "meant to be" with the proper use of the word "soulmate" We have several soulmates in and throughout our lives.
We need various lessons on a spiritual and soul level as life is complex and there is so much we need to learn about ourselves and others. NO ONE person can give that to us. We need to be deeply impacted on many levels by several special people in order for our life to have true meaning.
We want to feel like the one we want or are in love with is the ONLY one for us and we are the only one for him/her. It's not the case and THANK GOODNESS (if one really thinks about it) fi dat.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
I think people buy way too much into the idea of "soulmates" etc. Sometimes, people come in and out of our lives for the sheer purpose of a lesson. Assuming what the lesson is, is what gets people in trouble. If we all thought we had 5 potential soul mates, we wouldn't get wrapped up on 1 if they were married, we would just go seek out the others.
Otoh, I think there are exceptions to the rule. But very few.
Otoh, I think there are exceptions to the rule. But very few.
Ya, I don't think "meant to be" means break up a marriage. But I do believe that if you are meant to be, and I do believe that people have karmic destinies in life that need to be fulfilled, then at some point the relationship might reconnect later on in life. One of the problems I think some people have with interpreting "meant to be" is that they assume it signifies a romantic relationship. I don't think that's always the case. Some people are meant to be good friends, meant to be business partners, bring something positive into the world other than children.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Now you have me wondering about your last point. Can two people be meant to raise a child? My initial reaction is why not?
I am in love with a married man! LOL! He happens to be married to me!
My girlfriends and I were discussing this because two of them seem to believe that the married man they have ended up with and are about to marry were meant to be. This is due to the them have dated earlier on and crossed paths again and are now together. They believe that nothing kept them apart, including them being married to another woman at the time. Therefore they believe they were destined and meant for each other.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
.....and there it is my friend.
People leave marriages every day to be with the one THEY believe they were meant to be with based on a host of beliefs. This does not mean people were cheating.....divorce is real.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
As a married woman, this really bugs me but I guess it's life.
They've crossed paths again so they are meant to be eh? All I see is a married man trying to relive his past thinking that maybe his ex reminded him of simpler times. When the grass starts to fade, he will likely realize he should have stayed with woman he orginally married. And though I dont know these peoples's stories, I'd venture to say he cheated at least emotionally cheated with the ex. I dont know if I would want the foundation of my marriage to be on some "my ex is married but divorced and came back to me ish" but to each his own. I guess.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
So as a married woman you are ok with being friends with adulteresses?
No..they definitely were cheating with the married men! Both carried on long affairs with them.
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I don't condone their actions at all....and I have voiced it. I
Kindheart
Well-Known Member
Just because a man married someone doesnt mean they can't potentially be attracted or fall in love with another woman along the line. Perhaps (your friends and cheating dude) met again at the right time he realized shes a more suitable choice for him. It happens . Does it normally last? Nope .Are cheaters likely to cheat again ? Yup. Good luck to them 
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Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
Thanks for clearing that up cause you know how people do. Talking in codes and ish...
Did your friends reconnect with an old flame that married someone else in the past or that was actively married at the time of their reconnection?
ETA: I see you answered my questions above. Yeah no...
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Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
The key word her is "affair". Your friends need to realize that an affair is neither a relationship nor a meeting of the souls. Do they really think that the man that was meant for them wouldn't be living in a house and raising a family with a woman carrying his last name. Sounds like your friends fell for the okie doke.
Just because a man married someone doesnt mean they can't potentially be attracted or fall in love with another woman along the line. Perhaps (your friends and cheating dude) met again at the right time he realized shes a more suitable choice for him. It happens . Does it normally last? Nope .Are cheaters likely to cheat again ? Yup. Good luck to them
They met up again and both men were STILL married at the time. So I don't know if that would be considered the right time, but eventually the wives left them and they ended up with my friends.
i guess I should have not used the word 'dated" because the men had wives at the time. Then later on down the line they started up again and the men were still married.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Do you mean 'would'?
Unfortunately, I believe that sometimes people marry the wrong person, for the wrong reasons and sometimes people know it going in. I don't think the wife/husband is always the 'right' partner though. An affair can be a meeting of the souls. Perhaps bad timing but it can be. Admitedly, my views on marriage clearly dictate how I view these things though...
Well this isn't a good sign for your friends lol.
Only being with a man because the wife/partner left is not cool in the slightest lol.
I remember when friends reunited started up and people were leaving their husbands and wives for their "first loves". In that situation I would semi understand if the couple romanticized the situation as "meant to be".
Some people also leave their DH/DW and never look back because they find the person they feel they were supposed to be with. Eg. Brad Pitt, Swizz etc... I don't think your friends are in that situation lol.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Kindheart
Well-Known Member
That's even worse ,they were second best . Sad situation ...
*~*Afrolicious*~*
Well-Known Member
Briabiggles
Well-Known Member
I think some bad relationships or ones that just didn't work out are meant to be too. You learn and grow from them. Take the lessons good or bad and become a wiser person. 
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