Major Vent

[SouthernStunner]

My husband is in the Air Force and we live about 8 hours from family. His father has been really ill and is now in I C U. This week my DH is working nights and since he sleeps during the day I called one of his sisters to chech on his father for him. The convo went like this:

Me: hey hows dad doing?

Her: good much better than the weekend

Me: great! So how are my nieces?

Her: good, you know niece X (5 yrs old) is excited about her trip and she has started packing.

Me: ok? Where yall going?

Her: we will be at your house on Fri!

Me: oh ok?

Today is Tues when he thought he was gonna tell me about 7 people were coming to stay with us?
I know they are coming for my twins birthday but I prepaid for their party basesd on 10 kids (2of which are my kids). Now they can only invite 2 friends each? How is that fair to them?

Darn it I dont even have extra sheets we only been in this house 7 months.

Advise please

 

[ThickHair]

The birthday party isn't even something to be PO'd about at this point, you got bigger fish to fry.. I would be PO's about guest coming that I wasn't aware. Did you call your husband and ask what's up with the what's up?

Hey, make the best of it. Me thinks you are going to end up with a very nice make up gift when all is said in done, unless this is something your spouse does on the regular. You know him better than any of us.

 

[SouthernStunner]

He said he didnt know their plans were firm cause his dad got sick BUT he still could have given me heads up. No this is not something he normally does.

I think I am also mad cause his sisters think we got money. Now they will see how we live and be extra watchful of how we spend it and that its not on them. It has been said before oh just get them to pay xyz cause they got good jobs.

 

[NOEChic]

Girl tell them they need to make reservations at the nearest hotel. Then tell you hubby that the next time someone mentions they think that they might want to visit he needs to let you know so that you can plan accordingly.

 

[kblc06]

Hmmm....it seems that there is an issue regarding your relationship with his sister rather than the surprise visit itself. If there's more to it, then that's something you discuss with your husband- finances can make or break a marriage. Add to that a family crisis and planning a birthday party, I can see why you feel overwhelmed and frustrated. I can also definitely understand being upset with surprise guests, but seeing as how he lives so far from his family, particularly with his father being so ill, it may do some good to take this one for the team . It'll probably comforting being around his siblings right now. Speaking from experience, facing the possibility of losing a parent is devastating. You said yourself that this isn't normally like him. There is a TON on his mind right now and he's coming to grips with the fact that he may lose his father. Give him a break on this one, considering the circumstances.

 

[MissYocairis]

I love kblc's comment. Just make it work for your DH. He's probably experiencing a very high level of anxiety with his father being in ICU and him not being able to be with him. The worry must be out of this world. Find a way to make it work. Go to Odd Lots and get extra sheets, towels and washcloths plus soap and just make due. It's going to help him in the longrun. And, when it's all over and they are gone from your home, casually mention to your hubby that, in the future, a woman needs advance notice for house guests so as to prepare properly. He will understand and follow suit. It will be okay. And, if you can make the birthday party festivities stretch by going to the dollar store for favors and snacks...then do that. It will be okay.

 

[SouthernStunner]

Thank you all for responding. Yes I am taking one for the team. My boss loaned me 3 air mattresses and we are making due. My boys are enjoying thier older male cousin and DH is laughing more.

He and I agreed to talk about this later. I am over it now BUT he still will be briefed.

 

[NOEChic]

I find it funny that people think living 8 hrs away is so far lol.

 

[SouthernStunner]

I dont think it is far but yet its not around the corner. To far for a drive by visit.

They are gone now and father in law is home out of the hospital. Monday he will begin his in home hospice care.

I never felt I could open up on here about my personal life. Now I think I will be here more than anywhere.

Now it doesnt seem all that important...... I mean the drama of the visit.

Pleases pray for my family.

Thankyou.

 

[ladysaraii]

Glad it worked out for you.

And 8 his ain't close

 

[NOEChic]

Glad it worked out for you.

And 8 his ain't close

8 hr drive>8 hr flt

 

[firecracker]

I'm glad everything worked out and FIL is out of the hospital. I bet that family sleep over was super fun and especially enjoyed by the birthday boy or girl.