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giigii613 said:
I need to do the same thing to stay inspired. I've had braids on and off for the past year and I feel like my hair has not made any progress length wise. I notice that my hair is thicker but it is not getting longer so back to page one of this thread and square one with my regimen.
Click to expand...

Up your moisture game braids are very drying especially if you have braid extension hair in.
If your hair is on braids alone you still have to watch and moisturize often
 
Lucia said:
Up your moisture game braids are very drying especially if you have braid extension hair in.
If your hair is on braids alone you still have to watch and moisturize often
Click to expand...
Thank you for the advice. I was in extension braids and I thought I was keeping up with moisturizing my hair. I sprayed a condition mix daily and when I got lazy every other day. I have given them a rest to restore my moisture protein balance in hopes that I see some progress but the reason I liked braids was because it kept me from manipulating my fine/dense hair for an extended period of time. Do you have any suggestions on some good moisturizing braid sprays?
 
giigii613 said:
Thank you for the advice. I was in extension braids and I thought I was keeping up with moisturizing my hair. I sprayed a condition mix daily and when I got lazy every other day. I have given them a rest to restore my moisture protein balance in hopes that I see some progress but the reason I liked braids was because it kept me from manipulating my fine/dense hair for an extended period of time. Do you have any suggestions on some good moisturizing braid sprays?
Click to expand...

@giigii613

There are some good brands but they use Chems to preserve and some use mineral oil not good for moisture.
So try this
Aloe Vera juice and jojoba or grape seed oil and spray scalp and especially in length of hair daily or 2 x a day
When you spray your braids squeeze them so you press the mixture in the strands and it gets to your real hair. HTH
 
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giigii613 said:
Thank you for the advice. I was in extension braids and I thought I was keeping up with moisturizing my hair. I sprayed a condition mix daily and when I got lazy every other day. I have given them a rest to restore my moisture protein balance in hopes that I see some progress but the reason I liked braids was because it kept me from manipulating my fine/dense hair for an extended period of time. Do you have any suggestions on some good moisturizing braid sprays?
Click to expand...

I have braid extensions and it is my go to protective style. I moisturize my hair with a mix of Infusium 23 (old formula), African Pride Olive Miracle Braid Spray, and aloe vera juice. I moisturize every other day and have had no problems with that. I think it's because the mix is great.

Lucia said:
@giigii613

There are some good brands but they use Chems to preserve and some use mineral oil not good for moisture.
So try this
Aloe Vera juice and jojoba or grape seed oil show and spray scalp and especially in length of hair daily or 2 x a day
When you spray your braids squeeze them so you press the mixture in the strands and it gets to your real hair. HTH
Click to expand...

This is critical!!! You're hair should feel moist and really squeeze to make sure the mix gets into your real hair.
 
STORYTIME:

**Lately I've been having issues with my own people and my hair. I'll go into detail but mind you this is longggg. I'll be using initials to indicate who everyone is so the story is easy to follow. If you have any feedback or questions, I'd appreciate the correspondence. Lastly, please do not be offended by anything I have to say, I'm just being honest I truly do not mean to be hateful/hurtful. (This story has originally been posted here https://www.longhaircareforum.com/threads/hiptailbone-length-hltbl-2015-2016-challenge.746227/ but will be posted in other threads.)**

Met a girl, let's call her N. N and I became pretty good acquaintances due to convenience. When I first met her, we talked about ourselves – ethnic background and hair did come up in the conversation; she said she could see people saying I look Ethiopian because of my hair. I told her I was due for a touch-up, she felt my hair and responded with "Yeah." At another meeting with N, she happened to see my baby picture on a piece of ID and said to me "Why do you relax your hair if you have curly hair?" and proceeded to describe her hair in a derogatory way but meaning to say she has very tight kinks. Possibly around the 3rd meeting with N, we talked about hair again with another girl (not black) and I said that I've never had braids since both girls had their hair in the style, she then says "Oh, really? How come? You should get some." After that, she happened to notice my hair was brown and I told her that it changes colour in the sun, she tells me that she thinks that's cool and we then move on to another topic. Later that same day, hair comes up again and she asks me how long my hair is, I then try to see where my hair is reaching and she is flabbergasted that the hair on my head is actually mine. This WHOLE time, she thinks my hair is a weave. (Yes, even with all the talk of hair colour, touch-ups, and everything else. :huh: ) Even when I told her my hair is in fact real, she thought I had tracks hidden somewhere. When she finally realizes my hair is my own, she asks about my regimen – basically the basic questions like what I did to get it long, how long it took to get to my length, and then randomly asks "Is this just a Trinidadian thing or can other black girls do this too?" After all the questions, she then finishes with "Well, if I had your hair, I'd let EVERYONE know my hair was real." :ohwell:

A couple days later, I had to talk to another girl – we're calling her Y – about something I was having trouble with, N was around too asking Y for help and a woman, T, joined us just to chat a little before saying goodbye. (There were other people around buut they were leaving.) While talking to Y, there was a break in our conversation and N makes sure to blurt out, "Did you know her hair is real?" :pullhair: To be honest, this left me a little embarrassed because it's not really something everyone needs to know, in my opinion. Y replies and says she knows (she asked me about hair previously in a really lovely and polite way and I complimented her back on her twa) but T proceeds to reach into my hair and feel around at my scalp. :pyro: I didn't speak up against that action unfortunately. After molesting my scalp, T then asks me if I'm natural, when I tell her no she lectures me on how I should be natural (T has a low fade) and that Y's hair is so beautiful because it's natural. I agree and admit that I love natural hair but I like the ease and quick regimen I have now that I am relaxed. :yep: We talk a little more about hair, N tells Y (N always has a fake hair in) how she should try to put products in her hair to make it curlier instead of kinky like it is currently. :whyme: Y stays quiet mostly, and I defend her by saying she does not need anything to make her hair curlier, Y's hair is lovely as is, T also backs me up.

Fast forward to the Tuesday that has just passed, I had to sit near a girl named P – N, Y, and T all know her – and randomly while in the middle of doing something, P questions if I relax my hair. I respond by telling her yes and P whines, "Whyyyyy? You should be natural, it would help it so much! Really, it would help it so so much! You should definitely go natural." My reply is basically that I love natural hair and would definitely go natural someday. P's face seems to change slightly, as if she didn't expect that answer from me and whines again a bit more about me going natural then suddenly says, "I cut my hair sooo much, I don't know why I just cut it all the time. I really have an addiction to cutting my hair, like, I can't help it, I just do it. I take the scissors and just start cutting." I tell her that I'm the same (while thinking that I really do not care if she cuts her hair or not to be honest) and I always cut my hair too, about every 2-3 weeks. P's face changes again slightly and continues, "Yeah I just have an addiction, I know I should probably leave it but I just do it every time." I let her know again that I'm the same and it doesn't really phase me because my hair grows fast, she states afterwards that her hair grows really fast too and she figures that it'll grow back anyway, I agree and fortunately the conversation gets interrupted. From the gist of this whole conversation with P, I have a feeling she's wanted to talk to me about this hair thing for a while. Note that I never ONCE asked about her hair, she's volunteered all the information that I talked about in this paragraph. I do not care about most people's hair in real life, most black women I see around have a weave in anyway, P included and she doesn't even hair a weave that mimics kinks or curls, it's straight. I probably would only care if I saw people in real life with hair like those on this website. (I have nothing against weaves, extensions, wigs – I just do not care about them most of the time.)

Now, to be honest, I love that there's this a movement to go natural, I think it's great we now feel empowered to take charge of the way we look. However, I'm NOT for people telling me what I should do to MY hair. :evil: I'm so tired of everyone always having an opinion on me, I already suffer from low self-esteem periodically, I'm FED UP of everyone, especially my own people having an opinion on one of the things that I feel good about – my hair. I'm TIRED of defending myself, as if having relaxed hair automatically means I hate natural hair. I am SICK of hearing this crap from people who either hair short hair, weaves/wigs, or damaged hair. :burnup: It's like these people see that my hair looks a certain way and they feel that they just naturally have to bring me down with them. At this point, I'm starting to think I should just put my hair in a bun to avoid people's questions and comments. :evil: I'm feeling very attacked for no reason. I do not go up to anyone questioning their beauty routine. I love natural hair, I often look at natural hair on Youtube just for fun and to expand on my knowledge but I literally CANNOT deal with select naturals in real life bothering me about what is growing out of my own head, I do a very good job at maintaining it, if you can't say anything good then just leave me alone. :hot:

I'm all for taking charge of your own self-expression, changing the perceived beauty standards, empowering people to try something "different" THROUGH EXAMPLE, and everything else that being natural as a woman of African descent means. I am NOT for belittling others through their personal choices – regarding something so trivial as vanity – just because I do not agree. When it comes to beauty and how people keep themselves beautiful, I'm pretty much a person that will have a "do not care" or "do whatever makes you happy" approach. I just WISH people would realize that and take the hint. Sadly, even in my story, Y's natural but N still found fault, it never ends and you can't win with people ever. :nono:

SIDE STORY:

Went to a party, most people complimented how good my hair looked that day, I'll admit, it was nice~ :giggle: Acquaintance, R – who is Hispanic and no relation to anyone in the previous story above – had to ruin it by asking if my hair is naturally that way (I had it in curls via bantu knots) and when I said no, she tried to fumble her way through a response that was basically letting me know she prefers people to have their hair naturally over altered. (Not to grasp at straws but this girl has her hair partially dyed blonde, I know people will disagree but hair dye alters your hair by changing the colour.) I did let R know that she is coming off as offensive but honestly, I feel like people worrying about my hair NEVER FREAKING ENDS. :hot: :swearing: My hair isn't even that long but honestly sometimes long hair isn't a good thing, it really commands too much attention even when you do not want it to be that way. :sad:
 
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I feel you @Aireen. If stuff like this happened once in a while, it's not so bad. But when you see people regularly and this happens like clockwork every time, it gets annoying. Just remember you're a lady and keep it polite.

Also, I might start wearing my hair up. N seems suspect to me. Wearing your hair down around her you might find her tripping with scissors in her hand and your hair "accidentally" cut.
 
Aireen said:
STORYTIME:

**Lately I've been having issues with my own people and my hair. I'll go into detail but mind you this is longggg. I'll be using initials to indicate who everyone is so the story is easy to follow. If you have any feedback or questions, I'd appreciate the correspondence. Lastly, please do not be offended by anything I have to say, I'm just being honest I truly do not mean to be hateful/hurtful. (This story has originally been posted here https://www.longhaircareforum.com/threads/hiptailbone-length-hltbl-2015-2016-challenge.746227/ but will be posted in other threads.)**

Met a girl, let's call her N. N and I became pretty good acquaintances due to convenience. When I first met her, we talked about ourselves – ethnic background and hair did come up in the conversation; she said she could see people saying I look Ethiopian because of my hair. I told her I was due for a touch-up, she felt my hair and responded with "Yeah." At another meeting with N, she happened to see my baby picture on a piece of ID and said to me "Why do you relax your hair if you have curly hair?" and proceeded to describe her hair in a derogatory way but meaning to say she has very tight kinks. Possibly around the 3rd meeting with N, we talked about hair again with another girl (not black) and I said that I've never had braids since both girls had their hair in the style, she then says "Oh, really? How come? You should get some." After that, she happened to notice my hair was brown and I told her that it changes colour in the sun, she tells me that she thinks that's cool and we then move on to another topic. Later that same day, hair comes up again and she asks me how long my hair is, I then try to see where my hair is reaching and she is flabbergasted that the hair on my head is actually mine. This WHOLE time, she thinks my hair is a weave. (Yes, even with all the talk of hair colour, touch-ups, and everything else. :huh: ) Even when I told her my hair is in fact real, she thought I had tracks hidden somewhere. When she finally realizes my hair is my own, she asks about my regimen – basically the basic questions like what I did to get it long, how long it took to get to my length, and then randomly asks "Is this just a Trinidadian thing or can other black girls do this too?" After all the questions, she then finishes with "Well, if I had your hair, I'd let EVERYONE know my hair was real." :ohwell:

A couple days later, I had to talk to another girl – we're calling her Y – about something I was having trouble with, N was around too asking Y for help and a woman, T, joined us just to chat a little before saying goodbye. (There were other people around buut they were leaving.) While talking to Y, there was a break in our conversation and N makes sure to blurt out, "Did you know her hair is real?" :pullhair: To be honest, this left me a little embarrassed because it's not really something everyone needs to know, in my opinion. Y replies and says she knows (she asked me about hair previously in a really lovely and polite way and I complimented her back on her twa) but T proceeds to reach into my hair and feel around at my scalp. :pyro: I didn't speak up against that action unfortunately. After molesting my scalp, T then asks me if I'm natural, when I tell her no she lectures me on how I should be natural (T has a low fade) and that Y's hair is so beautiful because it's natural. I agree and admit that I love natural hair but I like the ease and quick regimen I have now that I am relaxed. :yep: We talk a little more about hair, N tells Y (N always has a fake hair in) how she should try to put products in her hair to make it curlier instead of kinky like it is currently. :whyme: Y stays quiet mostly, and I defend her by saying she does not need anything to make her hair curlier, Y's hair is lovely as is, T also backs me up.

Fast forward to the Tuesday that has just passed, I had to sit near a girl named P – N, Y, and T all know her – and randomly while in the middle of doing something, P questions if I relax my hair. I respond by telling her yes and P whines, "Whyyyyy? You should be natural, it would help it so much! Really, it would help it so so much! You should definitely go natural." My reply is basically that I love natural hair and would definitely go natural someday. P's face seems to change slightly, as if she didn't expect that answer from me and whines again a bit more about me going natural then suddenly says, "I cut my hair sooo much, I don't know why I just cut it all the time. I really have an addiction to cutting my hair, like, I can't help it, I just do it. I take the scissors and just start cutting." I tell her that I'm the same (while thinking that I really do not care if she cuts her hair or not to be honest) and I always cut my hair too, about every 2-3 weeks. P's face changes again slightly and continues, "Yeah I just have an addiction, I know I should probably leave it but I just do it every time." I let her know again that I'm the same and it doesn't really phase me because my hair grows fast, she states afterwards that her hair grows really fast too and she figures that it'll grow back anyway, I agree and fortunately the conversation gets interrupted. From the gist of this whole conversation with P, I have a feeling she's wanted to talk to me about this hair thing for a while. Note that I never ONCE asked about her hair, she's volunteered all the information that I talked about in this paragraph. I do not care about most people's hair in real life, most black women I see around have a weave in anyway, P included and she doesn't even hair a weave that mimics kinks or curls, it's straight. I probably would only care if I saw people in real life with hair like those on this website. (I have nothing against weaves, extensions, wigs – I just do not care about them most of the time.)

Now, to be honest, I love that there's this a movement to go natural, I think it's great we now feel empowered to take charge of the way we look. However, I'm NOT for people telling me what I should do to MY hair. :evil: I'm so tired of everyone always having an opinion on me, I already suffer from low self-esteem periodically, I'm FED UP of everyone, especially my own people having an opinion on one of the things that I feel good about – my hair. I'm TIRED of defending myself, as if having relaxed hair automatically means I hate natural hair. I am SICK of hearing this crap from people who either hair short hair, weaves/wigs, or damaged hair. :burnup: It's like these people see that my hair looks a certain way and they feel that they just naturally have to bring me down with them. At this point, I'm starting to think I should just put my hair in a bun to avoid people's questions and comments. :evil: I'm feeling very attacked for no reason. I do not go up to anyone questioning their beauty routine. I love natural hair, I often look at natural hair on Youtube just for fun and to expand on my knowledge but I literally CANNOT deal with select naturals in real life bothering me about what is growing out of my own head, I do a very good job at maintaining it, if you can't say anything good then just leave me alone. :hot:

I'm all for taking charge of your own self-expression, changing the perceived beauty standards, empowering people to try something "different" THROUGH EXAMPLE, and everything else that being natural as a woman of African descent means. I am NOT for belittling others through their personal choices – regarding something so trivial as vanity – just because I do not agree. When it comes to beauty and how people keep themselves beautiful, I'm pretty much a person that will have a "do not care" or "do whatever makes you happy" approach. I just WISH people would realize that and take the hint. Sadly, even in my story, Y's natural but N still found fault, it never ends and you can't win with people ever. :nono:

SIDE STORY:

Went to a party, most people complimented how good my hair looked that day, I'll admit, it was nice~ :giggle: Acquaintance, R – who is Hispanic and no relation to anyone in the previous story above – had to ruin it by asking if my hair is naturally that way (I had it in curls via bantu knots) and when I said no, she tried to fumble her way through a response that was basically letting me know she prefers people to have their hair naturally over altered. (Not to grasp at straws but this girl has her hair partially dyed blonde, I know people will disagree but hair dye alters your hair by changing the colour.) I did let R know that she is coming off as offensive but honestly, I feel like people worrying about my hair NEVER FREAKING ENDS. :hot: :swearing: My hair isn't even that long but honestly sometimes long hair isn't a good thing, it really commands too much attention even when you do not want it to be that way. :sad:
Click to expand...
I'd be annoyed too if I were in your shoes. It doesn't help that you have low self-esteem either. If i were you I'd start there (with raising my self-esteem i mean). I did it by reading a few self-help books, changing my environment, hanging out with positive supportive people, and trying out new things that are out of my comfort zone. You can't change people. You can only change yourself.

As for your hair, keep wearing it the way you like. Don't change a damn thing. What's the point of having long, beautiful hair if you don't get to enjoy it. Be careful around N though. She sounds might jealous and might try to sabotage your hair. There are tons of stories on here about that. Most of the things you posted sound like straight up jealousy to me. Once you have your self-esteem in check those comments won't bother as much if at all. I'd cut out all of those haters if I were you. Damn!
 
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Aireen said:
STORYTIME:

**Lately I've been having issues with my own people and my hair. I'll go into detail but mind you this is longggg. I'll be using initials to indicate who everyone is so the story is easy to follow. If you have any feedback or questions, I'd appreciate the correspondence. Lastly, please do not be offended by anything I have to say, I'm just being honest I truly do not mean to be hateful/hurtful. (This story has originally been posted here https://www.longhaircareforum.com/threads/hiptailbone-length-hltbl-2015-2016-challenge.746227/ but will be posted in other threads.)**

Met a girl, let's call her N. N and I became pretty good acquaintances due to convenience. When I first met her, we talked about ourselves – ethnic background and hair did come up in the conversation; she said she could see people saying I look Ethiopian because of my hair. I told her I was due for a touch-up, she felt my hair and responded with "Yeah." At another meeting with N, she happened to see my baby picture on a piece of ID and said to me "Why do you relax your hair if you have curly hair?" and proceeded to describe her hair in a derogatory way but meaning to say she has very tight kinks. Possibly around the 3rd meeting with N, we talked about hair again with another girl (not black) and I said that I've never had braids since both girls had their hair in the style, she then says "Oh, really? How come? You should get some." After that, she happened to notice my hair was brown and I told her that it changes colour in the sun, she tells me that she thinks that's cool and we then move on to another topic. Later that same day, hair comes up again and she asks me how long my hair is, I then try to see where my hair is reaching and she is flabbergasted that the hair on my head is actually mine. This WHOLE time, she thinks my hair is a weave. (Yes, even with all the talk of hair colour, touch-ups, and everything else. :huh: ) Even when I told her my hair is in fact real, she thought I had tracks hidden somewhere. When she finally realizes my hair is my own, she asks about my regimen – basically the basic questions like what I did to get it long, how long it took to get to my length, and then randomly asks "Is this just a Trinidadian thing or can other black girls do this too?" After all the questions, she then finishes with "Well, if I had your hair, I'd let EVERYONE know my hair was real." :ohwell:

A couple days later, I had to talk to another girl – we're calling her Y – about something I was having trouble with, N was around too asking Y for help and a woman, T, joined us just to chat a little before saying goodbye. (There were other people around buut they were leaving.) While talking to Y, there was a break in our conversation and N makes sure to blurt out, "Did you know her hair is real?" :pullhair: To be honest, this left me a little embarrassed because it's not really something everyone needs to know, in my opinion. Y replies and says she knows (she asked me about hair previously in a really lovely and polite way and I complimented her back on her twa) but T proceeds to reach into my hair and feel around at my scalp. :pyro: I didn't speak up against that action unfortunately. After molesting my scalp, T then asks me if I'm natural, when I tell her no she lectures me on how I should be natural (T has a low fade) and that Y's hair is so beautiful because it's natural. I agree and admit that I love natural hair but I like the ease and quick regimen I have now that I am relaxed. :yep: We talk a little more about hair, N tells Y (N always has a fake hair in) how she should try to put products in her hair to make it curlier instead of kinky like it is currently. :whyme: Y stays quiet mostly, and I defend her by saying she does not need anything to make her hair curlier, Y's hair is lovely as is, T also backs me up.

Fast forward to the Tuesday that has just passed, I had to sit near a girl named P – N, Y, and T all know her – and randomly while in the middle of doing something, P questions if I relax my hair. I respond by telling her yes and P whines, "Whyyyyy? You should be natural, it would help it so much! Really, it would help it so so much! You should definitely go natural." My reply is basically that I love natural hair and would definitely go natural someday. P's face seems to change slightly, as if she didn't expect that answer from me and whines again a bit more about me going natural then suddenly says, "I cut my hair sooo much, I don't know why I just cut it all the time. I really have an addiction to cutting my hair, like, I can't help it, I just do it. I take the scissors and just start cutting." I tell her that I'm the same (while thinking that I really do not care if she cuts her hair or not to be honest) and I always cut my hair too, about every 2-3 weeks. P's face changes again slightly and continues, "Yeah I just have an addiction, I know I should probably leave it but I just do it every time." I let her know again that I'm the same and it doesn't really phase me because my hair grows fast, she states afterwards that her hair grows really fast too and she figures that it'll grow back anyway, I agree and fortunately the conversation gets interrupted. From the gist of this whole conversation with P, I have a feeling she's wanted to talk to me about this hair thing for a while. Note that I never ONCE asked about her hair, she's volunteered all the information that I talked about in this paragraph. I do not care about most people's hair in real life, most black women I see around have a weave in anyway, P included and she doesn't even hair a weave that mimics kinks or curls, it's straight. I probably would only care if I saw people in real life with hair like those on this website. (I have nothing against weaves, extensions, wigs – I just do not care about them most of the time.)

Now, to be honest, I love that there's this a movement to go natural, I think it's great we now feel empowered to take charge of the way we look. However, I'm NOT for people telling me what I should do to MY hair. :evil: I'm so tired of everyone always having an opinion on me, I already suffer from low self-esteem periodically, I'm FED UP of everyone, especially my own people having an opinion on one of the things that I feel good about – my hair. I'm TIRED of defending myself, as if having relaxed hair automatically means I hate natural hair. I am SICK of hearing this crap from people who either hair short hair, weaves/wigs, or damaged hair. :burnup: It's like these people see that my hair looks a certain way and they feel that they just naturally have to bring me down with them. At this point, I'm starting to think I should just put my hair in a bun to avoid people's questions and comments. :evil: I'm feeling very attacked for no reason. I do not go up to anyone questioning their beauty routine. I love natural hair, I often look at natural hair on Youtube just for fun and to expand on my knowledge but I literally CANNOT deal with select naturals in real life bothering me about what is growing out of my own head, I do a very good job at maintaining it, if you can't say anything good then just leave me alone. :hot:

I'm all for taking charge of your own self-expression, changing the perceived beauty standards, empowering people to try something "different" THROUGH EXAMPLE, and everything else that being natural as a woman of African descent means. I am NOT for belittling others through their personal choices – regarding something so trivial as vanity – just because I do not agree. When it comes to beauty and how people keep themselves beautiful, I'm pretty much a person that will have a "do not care" or "do whatever makes you happy" approach. I just WISH people would realize that and take the hint. Sadly, even in my story, Y's natural but N still found fault, it never ends and you can't win with people ever. :nono:

SIDE STORY:

Went to a party, most people complimented how good my hair looked that day, I'll admit, it was nice~ :giggle: Acquaintance, R – who is Hispanic and no relation to anyone in the previous story above – had to ruin it by asking if my hair is naturally that way (I had it in curls via bantu knots) and when I said no, she tried to fumble her way through a response that was basically letting me know she prefers people to have their hair naturally over altered. (Not to grasp at straws but this girl has her hair partially dyed blonde, I know people will disagree but hair dye alters your hair by changing the colour.) I did let R know that she is coming off as offensive but honestly, I feel like people worrying about my hair NEVER FREAKING ENDS. :hot: :swearing: My hair isn't even that long but honestly sometimes long hair isn't a good thing, it really commands too much attention even when you do not want it to be that way. :sad:
Click to expand...


Aireen, why should you have to put your hair away?. Do women put their face, breasts, body or butt away if people are jealous. Well maybe some do, they dumb down their appearance and I don't believe that at all. If someone has clear beautiful skin, do they say let me hide my face from the world because others may have acne.

The issue is not the relaxed hair it is the long hair black women thing. Even if you were natural and your hair stretched to your hip some women would have an issue with it. And sadly not just black women but women of other races too. You have to learn to deal with it in a classy manner and not get vexed about it. Learn to sift out the haters from those who genuinely need to be schooled in a polite manner.

Why? because the issue of black women and their hair. Most black women don't have hair past a certain length and not necessarily because of genetics and when you see that as a black woman you then sometimes question yourself and even make excuses. When I was at a hair salon some years back and a woman came in with a head scarf and then asked to have her hair washed and then her hair cascaded to her back damn everyone was drooling including me the daggers from the eyes that flew were also there.

Fast forward years later when I had my relaxer, and my hair was APL (before shaving it off and going natural), and everytime I got my hair blown out I could see the dry faces. I would feel guilty about my hair even though it wasn't even that long because my friends and the people at the hair salon had damaged hair and no one's hair in that salon that I spotted had hair past their neck. When I would walk into the salon, they would call me the "long haired girl" and not in a nice way either.

Women of other races give grief because they believe that all black women wear fake hair and then it makes them question their beauty and their being the pinnacle of beauty in the society.

You have to be yourself and don't hide your greatness to protect others. The world is a mess but you don't have to be a mess be a message to the world change the stereotypes.

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
Thank you so much for the responses, ladies! I posted this to really vent and the replies gave me a lot to think about, especially since I had a heart to heart with another friend about other irl issues and she gave me some great advice. These comments just add the cherry on top of the cake. I really appreciate it. I will definitely find a way to limit my interactions with these women, unfortunately for now I cannot completely shun them due to having small classes with them at school.

100% agree with you, @LivingInPeace. I'm an over-thinker and I tend to be in my head way too much, over-analyzing everything. I do need to let a lot of things go. I think part of it stems from me not quite knowing who I am or want to be just yet. I'm young, still discovering myself.

Trust me, @curlicarib I have my eye on N. She's suspicious to me too and not even because of the hair thing so much but just with my interactions with her in GENERAL.

Currently in the process of doing that, @caribeandiva and I'm definitely glad to hear it worked for you too, it just gives me the courage to keep pushing! My self-esteem has taken a serious hit and I'm trying every day to push forward. Lol, I'm being very cautious with N since I just met her and in general she just seems a little off. She's a hairstylist apparently but she won't be coming near my head FOR SURE. :nono2:

I'm glad you shared a bit of your experience with me, @almond eyes. I honestly hold all this in when these interactions take place, I just need to speak up and politely let people know they're being inappropriate. I'll practice expressing my feelings for sure, staying silent just makes it build up when I should just voice my opinion and let go of it. You brought up a good point, fabulous women do not hide, they embrace themselves in all that they are – I need to do the same.

Love the meme, @biznesswmn! I saved it! :drunk:
 
Last edited:
Aireen said:
Thank you so much for the responses, ladies! I posted this to really vent and the replies gave me a lot to think about, especially since I had a heart to heart with another friend about other irl issues and she gave me some great advice. These comments just add the cherry on top of the cake. I really appreciate it. I will definitely find a way to limit my interactions with these women, unfortunately for now I cannot completely shun them due to having small classes with them at school.

100% agree with you, @LivingInPeace. I'm an over-thinker and I tend to be in my head way too much, over-analyzing everything. I do need to let a lot of things go. I think part of it stems from me not quite knowing who I am or want to be just yet. I'm young, still discovering myself.

Trust me, @curlicarib I have my eye on N. She's suspicious to me too and not even because of the hair thing so much but just with my interactions with her in GENERAL.

Currently in the process of doing that, @caribeandiva and I'm definitely glad to hear it worked for you too, it just gives me the courage to keep pushing! My self-esteem has taken a serious hit and I'm trying every day to push forward. Lol, I'm being very cautious with N since I just met her and in general she just seems a little off. She's a hairstylist apparently but she won't be coming near my head FOR SURE. :nono2:

I'm glad you shared a bit of your experience with me, @almond eyes. I honestly hold all this in when these interactions take place, I just need to speak up and politely let people know they're being inappropriate. I'll practice expressing my feelings for sure, staying silent just makes it build up when I should just voice my opinion and let go of it. You brought up a good point, fabulous women do not hide, they embrace themselves in all that they are – I need to do the same.

Love the meme, @biznesswmn! I saved it! :drunk:
Click to expand...


Aireen, I am also learning to speak up for myself and doing it in a polite manner so I don't come off as too emotional. I also am learning to also not respond to fools and haters and not taking it personally knowing that many people have their issues that have nothing to do with you.

For years, I could only get to APL natural or relaxed. And when I made the connection about protein treatments, finger combing and not going overboard with protein leave ins, I am now confident I will meet my hair goals. And when it gets to your length, I am not going to hold back for no one, but I will still remain humble and modest. Enjoy your hair length and your youth!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
My boyfriend is definitely more of the strong silent type, but the last few times I've had my hair pressed (as opposed to a natural bun or something) he's just been too cute. He thinks he's being slick but I know he's loving my added length and wants to show me off. :) So now he asks, pretty frequently, if I'm wearing my hair down that night. And then if it's not down? He's a little crestfallen and perplexed and asks "Why didn't you wear your hair down today??"
 
It has taken me several days to read through all of these stories (during my down time) and I must say that they are very inspirational.

When I reached full APL, my great nephew, whom I helped raise but hadn't seen in quite some time, came to give me a hug. However, he wouldn't let me go. He was too busy stroking my hair and saying how long it is.

Fast forward a few years. (I have temporarily relocated to care for my mom) and the same great nephew comments on my BSL hair all of the time. I would have been hip length by now, but I had to cut about 10 inches of damaged ends over the last 2 years. I transitioned from a straight haired natural to natural, but didn't want to give up length.
 
cherishlove said:
I find it amazing that when people look at my hair they say my sisters hair is a little longer than yours. And you said that to say what. Freakin amazing. Somebody's hair has to be longer or better than mine.
Click to expand...

I have a cousin who always had long, pretty hair as we were growing up. People used to fawn all over her and I guess she loved the attention. As an adult she has done a lot of different things to her hair and it seems to be "stuck" at shoulder length now. When she sees me, she makes sure to comment that my hair has to be a weave or a wig, because there's no way my hair can be longer than hers. Every time she says it, she claims she's just joking, but it's always in front of others. What she doesn't understand is that I don't give a hair flip about her opinion of my hair, joking or not.
 
cherishlove said:
I find it amazing that when people look at my hair they say my sisters hair is a little longer than yours. And you said that to say what. Freakin amazing. Somebody's hair has to be longer or better than mine.
Click to expand...
They said it to say, "So what, you ain't special." I just say, "That's great" and keep it moving. It's crazy how something like hair can evoke feelings of envy and make people project their issues on you.
 
Chicoro said:
Okay...lemme see...ahm...I am in France and was staying in a hostel. A large group of men from a wedding party stayed overnight. They can't speak a lick of English and my French consists of "bonjour". The next morning, I regretfully make eye contact with one of them and smiled because HE was staring at ME. The hair was in a bun. Big mistake here- the smile not the hair style. Direct eye contact and a smile can mean open invitation [for sex]. Anyway, I sit down to look at LHCF on my IPAD and the guy comes over and asks to "see" my IPAD. Finally, after sitting all up on me and tapping the keys like he is a gorilla and us drawing pictures to communicate 'cause he doesn't speak English and I don't speak French, he gets up and leaves. I get up after all the traffic is gone and go and do my hair in the bathroom. The same guy peeks in to the bathroom (these are mixed bathrooms, rooms etc) and comes in and brushes his teeth next to me. I use my Kcutter comb to comb through my pony. My hair is very long so I have to pull it far away from my body in order for me to comb it from top to tip . He STOPS brushing his teeth and turns and stares at me. After being stared at for a good 2 minutes I turn and look like, "Do you mind?" He jumps and apologizes in French and says, "Pardon." He then says, "You are a very beautiful girl" IN PERFECT ENGLISH. It's funny how a man can't conjugate an English verb, but they ALWAYS know how to tell a woman she is beautiful in her language! Then he brings his face close to mine. I had my K-cutter in 'stab' mode. He goes,"In France we kiss." Then he places his cheek next to mine and I turn the other one and then he kisses me with his lips on my other cheek. It happened too fast to stab or argue. When I came out the bathroom everyone was gone. Went to my room to pack up and was sitting on the floor. Here he comes again. When he peeked in he made a sound and gesture like, "There she is!" He came straight over to me, extended his arms and reached for me and lifted me up. He said, "I go. I kiss you."We get a repeat of what happened in the bathroom. And YES, he was FINE. He was tall, blonde and blue-eyed. He was a roofer/construction worker from Switzerland and had a beautiful body, too.
Click to expand...
I'm going to France.
 
That moment when...

You have a random dream about hair length and you wake up to do a length check and it's true!

You just started a new job and to take a break from bunning so much, you wear a curly ponytail and chick that sits next to you randomly tugs a curl and freaks you out....definitely keeping my hair in a bun for work from now on!:nono:

You wanna enjoy your length since the humidity is relatively low, but you shy away from straightening your hair bc you're freaking out about ppl touching your hair, staring at you, asking you a million questions, giving unnecessary comments and unsolicited hair advice...so you've agreed to stay curly lol!!!

If I do decide to flat iron it.. it will be in a bun for work and in public. Ppl are weird, stupid and creepy! :(
 
LivingInPeace said:
@Aireen Just my opinion, but you seem too concerned with what other people say about you. I read your post and I don't think you should have let any of the talk bother you. Everything you posted was clearly about someone else being insecure, not you. Let it go.
Click to expand...

I know I'm way late but @ the bolded... that's definitely true, especially with that P woman. That chick just had to make sure you knew her hair grew super fast so if she wanted hair as long as yours, she could have it if she didn't cut it all the time :lachen:
 
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