"Long game" from a married man

F

FluffyRed

New Member
wow. I never thought it would happen to me...

I went to a family gathering two months ago. A friend of my cousin started chatting me up. I think nothing of it. After the event,we start talking by phone. (For a while, it's great, because he has some insight/experiences with some of my fam (deceased and living) that I don't/didn't see that often.)

It becomes increasingly frequent, and more rambling.

I thought the dude had a mental problem. Lately the dude has been texting me every morning when he wakes up and talking to me for an hour after work, until I shut him down, or stop answering. He is not hiding the fact that he is talking to me, he's talking to his wife at the same time and just making rambling small talk... But it started to become a little much.

Cut to today. He mentioned wanting to apply for a job with my company. Finally today, he sent me his resume... WITH NO ADDRESS!!!

I'm like WTF????

I reply like, how do you not have an address on your resume?

HE gives some bull$hit excuse, and finally sends it... with an address (after 45 minutes)

Today he didn't call, LOL

I interpret that as his intentions not being as innocent as they seem.
We have another get together next month and I think he was trying to set up some "extracurricular activities."

LOL at how men think women just roll over like that after some convo???
 
FluffyRed said:
wow. I never thought it would happen to me...

I went to a family gathering two months ago. A friend of my cousin started chatting me up. I think nothing of it. After the event,we start talking by phone. (For a while, it's great, because he has some insight/experiences with some of my fam (deceased and living) that I don't/didn't see that often.)

It becomes increasingly frequent, and more rambling.

I thought the dude had a mental problem. Lately the dude has been texting me every morning when he wakes up and talking to me for an hour after work, until I shut him down, or stop answering. He is not hiding the fact that he is talking to me, he's talking to his wife at the same time and just making rambling small talk... But it started to become a little much.

Cut to today. He mentioned wanting to apply for a job with my company. Finally today, he sent me his resume... WITH NO ADDRESS!!!

I'm like WTF????

I reply like, how do you not have an address on your resume?

HE gives some bull$hit excuse, and finally sends it... with an address (after 45 minutes)

Today he didn't call, LOL

I interpret that as his intentions not being as innocent as they seem.
We have another get together next month and I think he was trying to set up some "extracurricular activities."

LOL at how men think women just roll over like that after some convo???
Click to expand...


I would have never given him "access" to me...by giving him my phone number or fax number to receive his resume!

You are "playing with fire" messing with a married man! And you knew he was married! :nono::nono::nono::nono:
 
Not "messing with" him. He is a friend/neighbor of my fam and spent a lot of time with my departed family member and he is not attractive.

Due to family circumstances, he had info that I wanted. Our families are close. His sister was sitting at the table with me when we met. We all spent four days together, with about 25 other people. Several of us exchanged contact info.

There is no "fire," no temptation and no deception here.

And I can predict the direction this thread will take, but I have rules for dealing with males. I don't get into "situations." I've just never seen the long distance phone attempt before. I've seen the "friend" strategy in person, and the guard is up.

I'm posting this as a PSA to wives and innocent young girls, because I have never seen this kind of attempted fakeout before. Period.
 
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around my parts, you don't put an address on a resume, because there is no real reason an employer needs your address *before* they hire you. Kind of like them asking for your Social Security number *before*/until they hire you... just not necessary.

phone number and email address should suffice... just giving insight...
 
that's interesting. and it makes sense, because most people communicate electronically, but i've never seen a resume without an address. it seemed to fluster him, my asking for it.


I am nobody's "secret." I'm really offended he hesitated. WTF did he think was going to happen?

No more convo.

ETA - the resume was also lacking an email address. So clearly this was not a format issue. He wiped it before sending it to me, imo.
 
He just sounds like a weirdo. I can't tell if he's been talking you up because he wanted a relationship or if he was looking for a contact at your company. You have to be careful at family gatherings because you kind of let your guard down and let people in that you wouldn't have otherwise.
 
hopeful said:
He just sounds like a weirdo. I can't tell if he's been talking you up because he wanted a relationship or if he was looking for a contact at your company. You have to be careful at family gatherings because you kind of let your guard down and let people in that you wouldn't have otherwise.
Click to expand...

ITA.

He and his fam were there. He was not "flirty" in the least.

I couldn't imagine someone my cuz associates with being so skanky.
 
Homey wants a job and he was being nice to butter you up, when it didn't work, he is out. I don't think he was trying to pick you up at all.
 
This young lady has nothing to be ashamed of, she did not lead this man on and her intentions were innoncent. She didnt invite him out to lunch, have midnite conversations, hand held walks in the park.....did you not read her story the conversations were about her family, a family that she didnt see that often. Say that you wouldnt want to know info about certain family members without speaking directly speaking to them and you would be lying. As for the resume thing, I have always put my address and contact information on my resumes, thats the way I was taught. He knew what he was doing clearly beacuse since then he hasnt called her back. Maybe his intentions were wrong but I dont see anywhere in this womans story were her intentions were wrong. Maybe she shouldnt have provided him her number but again it appeared to be an innocent situation to me. Did she say she has called him since.....No, so though everyone is here to share their opinion I doubt that she shared her story to be ganged up on or jumped on with negative comments/opinions, she probably feels like she never should have shared it in the first place.
 
This is a lesson to be learned. Men are trifling. The best thing to do IMO is just stay away from married men period. From what I see most, (not all) who seek out lady friendship (after being married) always have an ulterior motive. I see why you were talking to him. I do this with my cousins who are still back home. I too like to stay updated on my family. How is everyone doing. Who had a baby, etc etc. And I think he used that to get you on the phone, and then of course tried to switch it up. I mean why is he texting you constantly and why are you (seemlingly) the first thing he is thinking about in the morning. That is not right. And if I were his wife I would be pissed. I am glad you had the decency to shut it down.
 
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exoticmommie said:
I mean why is he texting you constantly and why are you (seemlingly) the first thing he is thinking about in the morning. That is not right. And if I were his wife I would be pissed. I am glad you had the decency to shut it down.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I would be pissed if I were the wife, too.

I'm guilty of loooving my cuzzins to death, missing them to the point of heartbreak and putting them all on a pedestal, and thinking their friends are just better than that.

This is a lesson to be learned. Men are trifling. The best thing to do IMO is just stay away from married men period. From what I see most, (not all) who seek out lady friendship (after being married) always have an ulterior motive.
Click to expand...

:yep::yep::yep: sad. And I know this in most cases. If you're not the couple's friend, the man is off limits for friendship.

ETA - he must have gotten over the embarassment, because he's back at it this morning. Rather than officially say "back off," I think I'll just ignore until he stops. I'll email him about his resume and be done with it.
 
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ThickHair said:
Homey wants a job and he was being nice to butter you up, when it didn't work, he is out. I don't think he was trying to pick you up at all.
Click to expand...

ITA!! We're in a recession and he was probably laid off or about to lose his current job. He knew that OP had a job and was using her as a contact. That's why he talked to her in front of his wife and their respective families. He probably took his address and contact info off of his resume because he just wanted OP's opinion on it, he didn't expect her to send it to anyone as it was.
 
Blkrose said:
This young lady has nothing to be ashamed of, she did not lead this man on and her intentions were innoncent. She didnt invite him out to lunch, have midnite conversations, hand held walks in the park.....did you not read her story the conversations were about her family, a family that she didnt see that often. Say that you wouldnt want to know info about certain family members without speaking directly speaking to them and you would be lying. As for the resume thing, I have always put my address and contact information on my resumes, thats the way I was taught. He knew what he was doing clearly beacuse since then he hasnt called her back. Maybe his intentions were wrong but I dont see anywhere in this womans story were her intentions were wrong. Maybe she shouldnt have provided him her number but again it appeared to be an innocent situation to me. Did she say she has called him since.....No, so though everyone is here to share their opinion I doubt that she shared her story to be ganged up on or jumped on with negative comments/opinions, she probably feels like she never should have shared it in the first place.
Click to expand...

Thank you! Not every single woman wants a married man.
 
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