ppp422
New Member
I love my boyfriend but I would like him to get his life together. I am 22 years old and my bf is 23. We met online a year ago; it was the first time I ever considered anyone online. At the time I wasn’t looking for a relationship because I was a college senior with plans of relocating across the country after graduation. At the time he was ok with that. We continued as friends until June when we became a couple. I moved at the end of July. He has plans to move here out here with me, but get his own apartment because we don’t believe in living together before marriage. We have a lot in common, we have the same values, and he is easy to talk to. He loves me very much and I love him.
My stress comes from the fact that his life is not together. When we met he told me he was in college as well. He lives with his parents, something I am not thrilled about but dealt with because he was in college (I think it bothered me because I have been on my own since after high school). He was laid off from his job last December and unemployed from last January to August. During that period he had no cell phone and I was forced to talk to him on his parents’ phone. He drives an unsafe, beat up vehicle (which I personally refuse to ride in, so I drive whenever we go out) the doors are secured with bungee cords.
His current job is not that lucrative so he has not been able to visit me in the six months I have been here. I have had to fund my own trips home to see him. After months of things not adding up, I confronted him in October. He finally broke down and told me that he flunked out of school but didn’t want to tell me because he thought I would leave him (because I was the smart honors student type). We discussed his lying and I told him I don’t approve of lies and to be honest. Today when discussing school he let it slip that he flunked out a semester earlier than he first said. It gets to the point where I wonder if was ever in school at all. He recently admitted to me that he has been hiding his anger at me for moving. He believes that I abandoned him and I should have stayed with him and waited to move because we were in love (even though we had only been officially dating one month). 
I was confused because I told him when he first met me I was moving and he showed no signs of being upset with me over the last six months. I try to be as supportive to him as possible but the last few months I have been holding inside my disappointment and frustration. Adding the fact that this is a long distance relationship makes everything worse. We have discussed marriage in the distant future and I could see myself with him. It just stresses me out that he is not financially stable and independent. I am not a materialistic person but I am a very rational one. The fact that he has never supported himself, lied, and that he flunked out of school bother me. I don’t know what to think about the financial future.
Am I expecting too much at a young age?
How can I deal with these nagging uneasy feelings?
