Learning to be patient....how did you do it?

gymfreak336

gymfreak336

New Member
I usually am pretty good at being patient with my hair but lately, I am having the hardest time. Everytime I get to this point, I end up doing something stupid causing me to have a setback in some sort of fashion. I am at a really critical point in my hair care journey, making it from shoulder length to apl, and I am losing it.

Yall already know I am a complete pj but I don't even have the urges I to buy new things anymore. I buy 1 or 2 new things at a time now compared to 50-11 things at once. I go to sallys now and struggle to pick one thing out to buy. I go to ulta and look at lipgloss instead of hair care for a change. Part of me feels like if I am not buying new stuff then I am not truely committed to my hair or that I am not doing right by it. I know that is not true but it is hard to retrain your brain.

I have been so used to this hair thing being an up and down journey, I guess I am waiting something bad to happen and cause me to cry and cut 3 inches like it always seems to go. I think in this anticipation, I am getting restless and then making dumb decisions that lead to those setbacks, plus I keep having the same set back in the same spot :rolleyes: IDK.....Am I making any sense here? Its hard to type what I hear myself saying in my head :lol:

What ways did you learn to be patient? How did you learn to change your mindset?
 
:bighug: It's crazymaking sometimes, ain't it?

I have to put it away. I get into a rut of a protective style, and I just - leave it be.
That's usually when I drift away from the boards a little, too, and start focusing on other obsessions. I try to keep my moisture and protective game on point, because that's my hairs main 'weak point' and - basically ignore my hair as much as I can. :lol:

It usually works long enough for me to relax/release enough that the long term scale of things sinks back into my head.
 
Yea....I used to be super obsessed... then I just starting focusing on other stuff...like getting my career together, or friendships, or making my skin flyy.....so clearly I was spending more time in the non-hair related forums....

I started only taking comparison shots like every 6 months because then I could really see the progress...

I made up consistency challenges and made myself follow the same routine for like 3-6 months straight....

Eventually....it just kinda came natural...so I dont think about it much now...just do what I been doing and when its time for progress shots...lo and behold...there is progress :yep:
 
Oh, yeah, that's another thing - fewer hair pics!!! When I decided to start taking just style pics when I do something esp. fly, and progress pics once a month (or whenever I felt like it) that helped, too.
 
When I'm impatient or fed up, I also just put it away. I keep it up and keep it moving...concentrate on other things. This has kept me from doing something rash quite a few times. Benign neglect sometimes works wonder for hair growth, too. Patience is not my strong suit, but it seriously pays off with hair.
 
I have no choice...it seems for every 3 inches of growth I get about an inch of hang time because my hair is so dang on curly. Maybe this will change as it starts to get longer and hangs heavier?:ohwell:
 
I understood what you are saying.

Every now and again, I go through an intense period of frustration and impatience (but never crazy enough to cut my hair except when I convinced myself, for some reason, I would like short bangs when I have never had them in life DONT KNOW WTF I WAS THINKING) about trying to grow my hair out. The year is halfway through and I'm pretty sure I didn't actually get my three inches, and like, just saying it there is enough to make me roll my eyes and want to kill myself.

I guess it's not the same for me because I'm still in a stage where I don't have my routine down solid yet and I'm not completely aware of what works for my hair. So it easy for me to shout myself down and tell myself I'm expecting too much and to set my sights lower... way lower... I'm beginning to find the best way for me to deal with my hair journey is to expect nothing so anything I get I will be grateful for... which sucks... and I imagine won't work if you've got your routine down and have seen progress... It's one thing to still be in a stage where you feel like your hair just isn't going to grow and another to get some progress but then have a set back, so I understand how you feel.

Maybe you could look at your temporary distance as a plus so that you could do extremely KISS routines. Not wanting to watch your hair or being afraid you're going to cause a setback could be a good opportunity to just leave it alone. That way, when you're done and you're ready to jump back into active hair care, if you've made some progress that's a plus, but even if you didn't, at least you didn't set yourself back either.
 
I know just how you feel.d I was just crushed. I was ready to cut my hair and start all over. However, I received lots of encouragement and well wishes from the girls here and so far... my patience has increased and whenever I start thinking about that setback, I put it up and keep on truckin'!
 
Totally ignore everything hair related, including the boards, BSS and other tempting place and find another obsession, ummm focus, for a couple of weeks or three. There's ALWAYS something else productive to do, if I really want to. . .

My hair ruts are when I just go "protective" so that I'm not thinking hair on a daily basis. Take's discipline and ruthlessness to just ignore my hair when all I want to do is to do SOMETHING with it. *sign*

Really, the only way for me is to leave the room . . .
 
just don't think about growth.

I just try out new styles and worry about getting the shine right or the color right or anything but the growth.

also, just by your staples and leave the rest alone :whip:
 
I just do not think about it anymore as much as I used to.

I went from APL in December 07 to Top of BSL in June of 08! I stick to my own hair regimine and go from there!:yep:
 
Awww, Gym. :blowkiss:Don't be troubled. It will be ok.

I always resort to Cornrows. They are the answer to so many questions.
How are you wearing your hair today? **Cornrows**
What will your next style be? **Cornrows**
What is your favorite protective style? **Cornrows**
How do you wash your hair? **Cornrows**
What will you be doing for the talent portion of our show? **Cornrows**
What's for lunch? **Cornrows**
Where do you live? **Cornrows**
Who do you love? **Cornrows**
What's your cat's name? **Cornrows** :lachen:JK

You can do this Gym, it really sounds like it's time to put your hair away for a couple of months. :boxing:and tough it out.
 
I'm extremely impatient in all aspects of my life, hair is no exception. Sometimes I get soooo freakin frustrated, I wanna just chop it all off and be through with it. But instead, I just throw it back in a bun and leave it there until I feel like foolin with it again. Out of sight, out of mind
 
Mook's hair said:
Awww, Gym. :blowkiss:Don't be troubled. It will be ok.

I always resort to Cornrows. They are the answer to so many questions.
How are you wearing your hair today? **Cornrows**
What will your next style be? **Cornrows**
What is your favorite protective style? **Cornrows**
How do you wash your hair? **Cornrows**
What will you be doing for the talent portion of our show? **Cornrows**
What's for lunch? **Cornrows**
Where do you live? **Cornrows**
Who do you love? **Cornrows**
What's your cat's name? **Cornrows** :lachen:JK
Click to expand...

:lachen: :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:
 
Dont see it as being impatient, just see it as not being all that obsessed anymore. I mean i have been obsessing over makeup for the past two weeks.. i would go to work and instead of logging into lhcf , i would log into my makeup forums... i constantly stare at makeup sites.. I don't think it's a bad thing at all, you're just taking a much needed break...leave the hair alone . (but still take care of it) and obsess about something else.
 
I'm going through that now, and my answer was kinky twists. However, I feel as they are going to be a set back for me and that is making me anxious. I'm having a hard time massaging my oil in, since this is my first time and they are quite loose. If I don't get on it properly, I'm not going to make my goal by August, but I don't want to take them out yet. I just did them on thursday/friday. I feel like *** it though, I'm just going to go ahead and do what I gotta do, if they fall out, Ill put them back in.
 
I got really impatient from SL to APL and decided I'd had enough. I couldn't keep looking at my hair every day trying to make it hurry up and grow.

I wore buns with really cute hair toys. I found ways to bun with what I had on my head.

Once I found what worked for me, I didn't need to buy much of anything beyond staple products. I still look and still test things out, but its now a rare occurance. I research long and hard before I decide to try something out these days.

Once you get your hands out of your hair every day, it helps to keep you from obsessing over it so much.:yep:

-A
 
Well, dang. Everybody dun said it all.:rolleyes:

I'm at the same stage you're at.

I can go one of 2 ways:

1.) I obsess about my hairs future. I filled up a hair notebook thinking of new products, styles, and how I would modify my regimen. Ex: I have 3 pages of how I'll transfer from PS to Low/No Mani regi after BSL. What the difference in how I do my hair will be in 6 weeks post vs. 12 weeks post.
I have measurements, charts and tables. And when I map it all out like that, it all seems so soon and so sure, my only real hurdle is getting through this summer of daily cowashing, cuz when school comes, it's gonna be weekly rollersetting .. and fun buns, like the Serenity Bun, which is way better IMO on me that is, then this soggy stuff.:grin:

2.)Focus on getting my skins regimen down. Makeup I wanna try. New clothes. I think I saw you on the Makeup saying you had your skin down pact, so this may not work for you. I cruise the OT board --there's always something poppin off over there.:lachen:
 
Usually when I start to get impatient or even getting a little nervous about not making my goal, I know that it's time for me to do something different with my hair. There are lots of temporary things you can do, like get braids, that will change things up for you. The last time that happened to me I got my hair straightened. It lasted for like three weeks. I had fun, and then I really loved my hair even more after that. And then I could go back to my normal plain old styling and have no problems.
 
OMG...it is so hard to be a patient hair grower. I think the majority of us are extremely impatient when it comes to grower our hair, hence the growth aids and what not. I'm so much better in the patience department then I use to be. I use to take progress pic's like ever 3-4 weeks and examine each picture with a fine tooth comb looking for at least a centimeter of growth. :spinning:

Now I only take length pic's after each touch-up (2-3 times a year) and If I get impatient I change up my style or something to keep me happy with my hair!!!!
 
Yeah, it can be hard. I knit and raised houseplants, so that helped with my patience, but I always get over-eager about a new hobby. The thing about making your hair your hobby is that you end up experimenting on yourself. Anyway, I'd say do as the others suggested and focus on something else. Dang, I really need to focus on writing these days, but I'm sure you have other interests. And definitely there's been something that you've always wanted to know how to do. Why not make now the time to learn?
 
For me patience has taken the form of living between hair prepoo/wash/DCing once a week.

I totally am in heaven when I can get my greedy little hands on my hur. It is an aquired skill. After looking at all this beautiful hur on this board and other boards, I learned to keep my hands away! It is hard though.
 
CenteredGirl said:
For me patience has taken the form of living between hair prepoo/wash/DCing once a week.
I totally am in heaven when I can get my greedy little hands on my hur. It is an aquired skill. After looking at all this beautiful hur on this board and other boards, I learned to keep my hands away! It is hard though.
Click to expand...

That's me too!!! I live for my wash days. I use to only co-wash once a week, now I'm co-washing/deep conditioning/ and rollersetting twice a week. I gotta get my hair fix:lachen:!!!
 
I feel you Gym...I sooooo feel you.

I just measured my hair right before I read this thread...I've never done that before.
 
Gymfreak

I agree with everyone who says put it away. This is what I usually do. This hair care journey can be sooo frustrating for some of us especially the ones who've been on this board for a long time and still haven't acheive their hair goals and have setbacks. I'm frustrated w/ my hair now(especially my ends) and I'm trying to find someone to put my hair in kinky twist or something. My hair does good in braids and sew ins.

Hopefully this OCT/MT will help us and we will be at our hair goal before you know it. girlie:grin:
 
looking forward to tomorrow's WNG or next week's kinky twists instead of next month's length check. experimenting with styles and products keeps me busy so i cant stretch my hair.
 
Yup - Prayer - and I braided my hair up - finally - so that I can focus on wash and go's and not have to Detangle, etc....:yep:
 
I just bun mine to death or wear styles that hide my length. In the interim, I just remain consistent with washes, growth aides and stuff. When all else fails, I just take it back to basics....the stuff that I always give me pretty good results.

I have never measured my hair. I just try to enjoy the ride to the next length and not focus so much on growth.

HTH
 
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