Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be honest.

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I LOVE this thread. Lets me know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Last night when I was rubbing Dh extra stinky feet I was thinking about this thread. And I thought "if this isn't love I don't know what is".erplexed

 

[Vanity1]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

That's not an answer young lady. Tell us how you feel.

 

[trini_rican]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

For me the inlove feeling comes and goes. Right now I'm in love, tingly all over and everything. But that doesn't usually last. I always love him but I don't always have that inlove feeling. Just like I don't always like him, I have spells when he gets on my nerves alot.

I don't know if that type of passionate relationship is for me, while we have periods of passion, it's not 24/7 - 365 days a year. IMO those types of relationships don't last.

I want a love that endures, that lasts.

Well put, I concur. My husband and I are friends. I always love him however no relationship is perfect. The butterflies come but they also go. It's my belief that consistant love in a marriage makes for a great marriage - a solid base if you will. However life happens, work, kids, etc. so although I'm in love I'm not in "la la land all day everyday". We have a wonderful marriage and he makes me smile and he's someone I can Laugh and cry with. He's seen me at my worst and he sees me at my best. I think I have the real thing. Marriage is work. It's not easy if it was then the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

 

[trini_rican]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

Yes, yes it is

Girl folks get tired chasing after kids you swear are trying to take you out of here Love and marriage and child rearing is the hardest job you'll ever have. It's easy to wine and dine when it's just the two of you but when you bring the little psychos we call children into the mix??? You just want to sit down by yourselves for 5 minutes and comfort each other

Besides the courting stage is a farce You both are lying cuz you know doggone well you can't maintain forever What you do do is find REASONABLE ways to show affection like foot massages, back rubs, date night etc. Ya gotta fit in, where you can get in. AND your budget can no longer support your $100 plus meals anymore. Popeyes and Red Lobster becomes high class dining

exactly!!!!

 

[Vanity1]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

That's not an answer young lady. Tell us how you feel.

I feel the same way ya'll do.
I have my times where I can't stand him, and then I have times where I can't get enough of him. I just always thought that was normal though. which is why I warn some of my friendgirls who complain about not feeling a certain way all the time. I think if I was in love with DH all the time, like googly eyes everyday, something would truly be wrong.
I also think DH and I have had an advantage over many couples who have known one another for a short period of time and then got married or were in a honeymoon phase for a long period of time. We got to experience alot together, and alot of the things that alot of people I know are fighting and arguing over IN marriage, we have already crossed that hurdle, so we are on to other things.

I think our honeymoon phase prior to marriage lasted 3 weeks, and we were dating 5 years. After 3 weeks of us dating, I wanted to strangle him.

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

Well put, I concur. My husband and I are friends. I always love him however no relationship is perfect. The butterflies come but they also go. It's my belief that consistant love in a marriage makes for a great marriage - a solid base if you will. However life happens, work, kids, etc. so although I'm in love I'm not in "la la land all day everyday". We have a wonderful marriage and he makes me smile and he's someone I can Laugh and cry with. He's seen me at my worst and he sees me at my best. I think I have the real thing. Marriage is work. It's not easy if it was then the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

I agree. My belief has always been love is an action word. Show me you love me. A lot of men can kiss, sex you up and say pretty words that make you feel really good. But most people are not willing to put in the work that is required. I have certain beliefs on what I see as love, and while everyone may not agree, these that are what I needed to feel loved. And like everyone else it's based on what I have lived and have gone through.

I feel the same way ya'll do.
I have my times where I can't stand him, and then I have times where I can't get enough of him. I just always thought that was normal though. which is why I warn some of my friendgirls who complain about not feeling a certain way all the time. I think if I was in love with DH all the time, like googly eyes everyday, something would truly be wrong.
I also think DH and I have had an advantage over many couples who have known one another for a short period of time and then got married or were in a honeymoon phase for a long period of time. We got to experience alot together, and alot of the things that alot of people I know are fighting and arguing over IN marriage, we have already crossed that hurdle, so we are on to other things.

I think our honeymoon phase prior to marriage lasted 3 weeks, and we were dating 5 years. After 3 weeks of us dating, I wanted to strangle him.

A friend of mine told me that if I could get through the first couple of years of marriage everything would be fine. I'm not sure if people just wear each other down, if you just get so tired of fighting about stupid stuff that you over look those things after while. But I can tell you that the last 2 years of my marriage has been good. It's helped that the mr has come over to my way of thinking, that has helped alot.

 

[Vanity1]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I agree. My belief has always been love is an action word. Show me you love me. A lot of men can kiss, sex you up and say pretty words that make you feel really good. But most people are not willing to put in the work that is required. I have certain beliefs on what I see as love, and while everyone may not agree, these that are what I needed to feel loved. And like everyone else it's based on what I have lived and have gone through.



A friend of mine told me that if I could get through the first couple of years of marriage everything would be fine. I'm not sure if people just wear each other down, if you just get so tired of fighting about stupid stuff that you over look those things after while. But I can tell you that the last 2 years of my marriage has been good. It's helped that the mr has come over to my way of thinking, that has helped alot.

I soooo agree with the bolded. I like action rather than words.
There are a group of guys at the gym I go to, and I love being around them cause they are so positive, and they gave me a lot of advice before marriage. Most of the people I know,like I said before, all they have to say are negative things, so it is refreshing to hear the truth, but not just all the ugly and negativity.

They all said that the first 5 years is rough. But if you can get through that you can get through anything. One guy even said that his wife left him once a week during that 5 years and they been married 14 years now, have 5 kids together. So I don't know, I just believe that a lie has been sold to us with all these romance novels and stuff, but there is nothing wrong with romance every once and a while, but just know that it is not gonna happen everyday though. I had to learn to show DH what makes me feel good, and also take in what he attempts to do to make me happy and see the romance in that.

Some men have the romance stuff down, and others dont, but I don't think sacrificing a good man is worth the romance, if that makes sense. I would rather have a good man who is passionate about taking care of his family and me and teach him things along the way rather than a romantic man who is spreading his romance to the free world or is broke and lazy. Just a thought.

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I soooo agree with the bolded. I like action rather than words.
There are a group of guys at the gym I go to, and I love being around them cause they are so positive, and they gave me a lot of advice before marriage. Most of the people I know,like I said before, all they have to say are negative things, so it is refreshing to hear the truth, but not just all the ugly and negativity.

They all said that the first 5 years is rough. But if you can get through that you can get through anything. One guy even said that his wife left him once a week during that 5 years and they been married 14 years now, have 5 kids together. So I don't know, I just believe that a lie has been sold to us with all these romance novels and stuff, but there is nothing wrong with romance every once and a while, but just know that it is not gonna happen everyday though. I had to learn to show DH what makes me feel good, and also take in what he attempts to do to make me happy and see the romance in that.

Some men have the romance stuff down, and others dont, but I don't think sacrificing a good man is worth the romance, if that makes sense. I would rather have a good man who is passionate about taking care of his family and me and teach him things along the way rather than a romantic man who is spreading his romance to the free world or is broke and lazy. Just a thought.

I agree with everything you said.

I wish all those good men that weaveologist had gotten rid of were availiable for other women on this board.

 

[trini_rican]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I agree with everything you said.

I wish all those good men that weaveologist had gotten rid of were availiable for other women on this board.

LOL - you're right. Single women often times complain about finding a good man but when they get em they have no idea what to do with em. Poor guys. There are some really good guys out there you girls just need to give them the opportunity. Think Daddy's little girls w/ Idris and Gabby Union - perfect example.

 

[weaveologist]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I LOVE this thread. Lets me know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Last night when I was rubbing Dh extra stinky feet I was thinking about this thread. And I thought "if this isn't love I don't know what is".erplexed

I am glad I started it because it made me realize some things. I ofcourse do know understand the concept of marriage since I am not married, so a lot of what you all were saying was very depressing but I understand. I don't feel bad about leaving my SO though because there are certain things you deal with in a marriage that you don't deal with from a negro who ain't even paying yo' bills. I don't care how long we been together. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

 

[trini_rican]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I am glad I started it because it made me realize some things. I ofcourse do know understand the concept of marriage since I am not married, so a lot of what you all were saying was very depressing but I understand. I don't feel bad about leaving my SO though because there are certain things you deal with in a marriage that you don't deal with from a negro who ain't even paying yo' bills. I don't care how long we been together. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Now that's a horse of a different color! You've got my vote if it was like that.

 

[tilati]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I soooo agree with the bolded. I like action rather than words.
There are a group of guys at the gym I go to, and I love being around them cause they are so positive, and they gave me a lot of advice before marriage. Most of the people I know,like I said before, all they have to say are negative things, so it is refreshing to hear the truth, but not just all the ugly and negativity.

They all said that the first 5 years is rough. But if you can get through that you can get through anything. One guy even said that his wife left him once a week during that 5 years and they been married 14 years now, have 5 kids together. So I don't know, I just believe that a lie has been sold to us with all these romance novels and stuff, but there is nothing wrong with romance every once and a while, but just know that it is not gonna happen everyday though. I had to learn to show DH what makes me feel good, and also take in what he attempts to do to make me happy and see the romance in that.

Some men have the romance stuff down, and others dont, but I don't think sacrificing a good man is worth the romance, if that makes sense. I would rather have a good man who is passionate about taking care of his family and me and teach him things along the way rather than a romantic man who is spreading his romance to the free world or is broke and lazy. Just a thought.

great post

 

[weaveologist]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I agree with everything you said.

I wish all those good men that weaveologist had gotten rid of were availiable for other women on this board.

Hey hold up! It wasn't "so many". It was maybe two that I left for this reason. And this was ONE reason. Don't get me started on the 45-thousand other reasons. **** if you want them I will gladly give you thier name, number, and address. Just don't come calling me because you had to call the police a time or two...

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

Hey hold up! It wasn't "so many". It was maybe two that I left for this reason. And this was ONE reason. Don't get me started on the 45-thousand other reasons. **** if you want them I will gladly give you thier name, number, and address. Just don't come calling me because you had to call the police a time or two...

Sorry, when I said all those............it did sound like a lot of men.

 

[weaveologist]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I soooo agree with the bolded. I like action rather than words.
There are a group of guys at the gym I go to, and I love being around them cause they are so positive, and they gave me a lot of advice before marriage. Most of the people I know,like I said before, all they have to say are negative things, so it is refreshing to hear the truth, but not just all the ugly and negativity.

They all said that the first 5 years is rough. But if you can get through that you can get through anything. One guy even said that his wife left him once a week during that 5 years and they been married 14 years now, have 5 kids together. So I don't know, I just believe that a lie has been sold to us with all these romance novels and stuff, but there is nothing wrong with romance every once and a while, but just know that it is not gonna happen everyday though. I had to learn to show DH what makes me feel good, and also take in what he attempts to do to make me happy and see the romance in that.

Some men have the romance stuff down, and others dont, but I don't think sacrificing a good man is worth the romance, if that makes sense. I would rather have a good man who is passionate about taking care of his family and me and teach him things along the way rather than a romantic man who is spreading his romance to the free world or is broke and lazy. Just a thought.

This may very well be true but that is stating one extreme to the next. I don't want flowers forced down my throat or dinners every weekend. I understand the importance of family and support. Trust me I do. I have been a single mother, working full-time and going to school full-time since I was 16. I had my son at 14. So trust that when a GOOD QUALITY man comes my way I am never so goofy to shew him away because he ain't took my fat ass to dinner enough. That is not the case. BUT I do not want to settle for a marriage because he is a good man to the household, or to the bills, or the kids, but we been sleeping in separate bedrooms for the last three years and he completly ignores my femininity. I am not down for that. A lot of married people or even couples in long term relationships are with thier SO for reasons other than love. My cousin stays with her children's father simply because that's thier daddy, but she is unhappy. Yes he takes of home. Yes he pays bills, but the chil' is MISERABLE. She doesn't even like him.

If we are in a relationship or married and I STILL wake up feeling alone, you ain't doin' your job and I'm out.

THAT is what I am speaking of when I posted the thread.

 

[weaveologist]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

Sorry, when I said all those............it did sound like a lot of men.

i know what you meant.

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I am glad I started it because it made me realize some things. I ofcourse do know understand the concept of marriage since I am not married, so a lot of what you all were saying was very depressing but I understand. I don't feel bad about leaving my SO though because there are certain things you deal with in a marriage that you don't deal with from a negro who ain't even paying yo' bills. I don't care how long we been together. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Marriage will bring you alot of joy (if you get with a decent person), it's not all depressing. Just like motherhood...lots of joy and some sorrow.

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

LOL - you're right. Single women often times complain about finding a good man but when they get em they have no idea what to do with em.:ohwell: Poor guys. There are some really good guys out there you girls just need to give them the opportunity. Think Daddy's little girls w/ Idris and Gabby Union - perfect example.

Yep, I think alot of times women makes men not so good men. I'm not talking about you weaveologist.

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

This may very well be true but that is stating one extreme to the next. I don't want flowers forced down my throat or dinners every weekend. I understand the importance of family and support. Trust me I do. I have been a single mother, working full-time and going to school full-time since I was 16. I had my son at 14. So trust that when a GOOD QUALITY man comes my way I am never so goofy to shew him away because he ain't took my fat ass to dinner enough. That is not the case. BUT I do not want to settle for a marriage because he is a good man to the household, or to the bills, or the kids, but we been sleeping in separate bedrooms for the last three years and he completly ignores my femininity. I am not down for that. A lot of married people or even couples in long term relationships are with thier SO for reasons other than love. My cousin stays with her children's father simply because that's thier daddy, but she is unhappy. Yes he takes of home. Yes he pays bills, but the chil' is MISERABLE. She doesn't even like him.

If we are in a relationship or married and I STILL wake up feeling alone, you ain't doin' your job and I'm out.

THAT is what I am speaking of when I posted the thread.

It good to learn from those types of marriages. I don't know one person IRL with the type of marriage I want. 96% of couples have bad disfunctional marriages. Only a few people are truely happy with their spouse but who says that you can't be one of those people.

 

[weaveologist]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

Yep, I think alot of times women makes men not so good men. I'm not talking about you weaveologist.

LOL! No its okay. You guys are right. A lot of women do push the good guys away. I try not to be that way. One time this guy gave me a bath. He lived alone so you know it wasn't all fancy and cute like a woman would have had it. I was looking around like but at least it was clean. Anyway, he gave me a bath and I swear that it was the nicest, sweetest, most romantical free date I ever had. It was wonderful. And I am smart enough to know that know $100+ dinner will ever top it.

There is just something missing if in my relationships if we are together simply because we used to each other or we got kids together. He can be a good man. Don't mean he's YOUR good man though. (Speaking in general). If I am married I know that times get rough. But as long as you rubbing my feet (as someone said) or kissing me on the forehead every now and then, I know you love me. But sleeping in different rooms ALL THE TIME??? Oh h#lls no! Some people make marriage sound like a simple business/parenting arrangement. Pay the bills, raise the kids, add water and stir. I need something more inbetween that. Not all that time, but for the most part.

 

[dlewis]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

Some people make marriage sound like a simple business/parenting arrangement. Pay the bills, raise the kids, add water and stir. I need something more inbetween that. Not all that time, but for the most part.

And your marriage won't be like that. My marriage isn't. We have great times and mostly fun moments. We spend plenty of time sneaky around trying to make out in the trailer or the shed without the kids finding us, snuggling on the couch, we have a standing Monday night date, him trying to look at me nakid, seeing who can do the best striptease act. Marriage is so much more than rising kids and paying bills if that's what you want it to be. Most people just don't want to put the work into it.

 

[MzLady78]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

This is really a great thread.

Thanks to the OP for starting and to all the ladies who have chimed in.

I love hearing "real talk" from people whose opinions I respect and value and y'all are bringing it!

 

[weaveologist]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

This is really a great thread.

Thanks to the OP for starting and to all the ladies who have chimed in.

I love hearing "real talk" from people whose opinions I respect and value and y'all are bringing it!

I totally agree.

 

[Farida]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

Okay so tell me this (then I'm through prying)... Though you may not be "in love" has the courting stopped? Is it still living in a fantasy world to expect him to continue to do the things he did to get you after so many years?

Many people ignore this, which is bad. I like what Dr. Laura says, continue to be BF/GF after marriage. Every so often, dress up nicely, flirt with each other and make a regular date night. It keeps the magic alive.

 

[Vanity1]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

This may very well be true but that is stating one extreme to the next. I don't want flowers forced down my throat or dinners every weekend. I understand the importance of family and support. Trust me I do. I have been a single mother, working full-time and going to school full-time since I was 16. I had my son at 14. So trust that when a GOOD QUALITY man comes my way I am never so goofy to shew him away because he ain't took my fat ass to dinner enough. That is not the case. BUT I do not want to settle for a marriage because he is a good man to the household, or to the bills, or the kids, but we been sleeping in separate bedrooms for the last three years and he completly ignores my femininity. I am not down for that. A lot of married people or even couples in long term relationships are with thier SO for reasons other than love. My cousin stays with her children's father simply because that's thier daddy, but she is unhappy. Yes he takes of home. Yes he pays bills, but the chil' is MISERABLE. She doesn't even like him.

If we are in a relationship or married and I STILL wake up feeling alone, you ain't doin' your job and I'm out.

THAT is what I am speaking of when I posted the thread.

I understand, and what I left out was that there is a difference between a man who is affectionate and one who is not. Alot of people mix up affection and the feeling of romance and lovey doveyness. When a man is not affectionate, he just isn't. And if you know that is what you want is affection, then there is no reason to deal with a man who is not. Just know that there is a thin line with all of this and no man is perfect. You have to really sort out what is most important to you.

DH is my best friend, and he is very affectionate, he kisses, holds, caresses me, and holds my hand. But in the next minute he may annoy me and I don't want to be touched. About 10 minutes later I might forgive him and want to be hugged on again. There are just so many intricate parts to a relationship.

 

[Farida]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I learned a lot from DH's adoptive family. Granted, the parents have only been married ten years but they are currently raising 5 kids under 10 yrs old. The mom home schools and stays home, the dad works insane hours to maintain their lifestyle. I have gone over sometimes when the mom is covered in nasty kid goop, she is exhausted, she doesn't have time to dress up everyday. The dad has been in his home office until 3 am, he is stressed out, the kids are busting with energy....in the midst of all that can you really be feeling butterflies?

Many nights they just roll into bed after the kids are asleep. However, they make it a point to go to church and small group together every week. Having a network of believers helps you stay focused in your marriage.

They also do a date night - which is not always possible because stuff comes up. They used to have it on Tuesdays, have DH and I watch the kids. Sometimes they'd go to the movies, sometimes they'd just go sit in the park and talk. Something they don't get to do with kids screaming. Other days they would walk down to the beach. It doesn't have to be something fancy or expensive. The mom gets a chance to dress up, wear make up and earrings - something she said kids stopped her from doing because babies yank earrings.

OP marriage is definitely not like romance novels or the movies. In fact I think these shows do us a disservice by filling us with these ideas about commitment. At the same time marriage doesn't have to be roommates who share a bed and just put up with each other.

If you want butterflies and endless romance, marriage is not for you. Not even long term dating. Just short, casual relationships.

I believe you can find a balance in marriage. I have been married a very short time but DH and I have been together a while. There are periods in our relationship which are "normal." We go about our lives, we watch TV, eat dinner, sleep.

Right now I am overwhelmed with school, DH is working, many nights I come home so beat down emotionally and physically from school that butterflies are so far away. Sometimes family issues arise that take a toll on the both of you.

It may sound boring but I enjoy the comfort. Knowing I don't have to dress up or pretend. Knowing if I have a nasty day I can just come home and not be expected to be a vixen, and that DH understands and he'll still be there tomorrow. I do the same for him.

 

[Farida]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I understand, and what I left out was that there is a difference between a man who is affectionate and one who is not. Alot of people mix up affection and the feeling of romance and lovey doveyness. When a man is not affectionate, he just isn't. And if you know that is what you want is affection, then there is no reason to deal with a man who is not. Just know that there is a thin line with all of this and no man is perfect. You have to really sort out what is most important to you.

DH is my best friend, and he is very affectionate, he kisses, holds, caresses me, and holds my hand. But in the next minute he may annoy me and I don't want to be touched. About 10 minutes later I might forgive him and want to be hugged on again. There are just so many intricate parts to a relationship.

I agree. I am lucky DH is affectionate. Also, people have to realize there are varying ideas of love and romance. Not everybody interprets romance the same way. In fact, you may be sitting at home mad as hell while your DH thinks he is being romantic.

 

[weaveologist]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I learned a lot from DH's adoptive family. Granted, the parents have only been married ten years but they are currently raising 5 kids under 10 yrs old. The mom home schools and stays home, the dad works insane hours to maintain their lifestyle. I have gone over sometimes when the mom is covered in nasty kid goop, she is exhausted, she doesn't have time to dress up everyday. The dad has been in his home office until 3 am, he is stressed out, the kids are busting with energy....in the midst of all that can you really be feeling butterflies?

Many nights they just roll into bed after the kids are asleep. However, they make it a point to go to church and small group together every week. Having a network of believers helps you stay focused in your marriage.

They also do a date night - which is not always possible because stuff comes up. They used to have it on Tuesdays, have DH and I watch the kids. Sometimes they'd go to the movies, sometimes they'd just go sit in the park and talk. Something they don't get to do with kids screaming. Other days they would walk down to the beach. It doesn't have to be something fancy or expensive. The mom gets a chance to dress up, wear make up and earrings - something she said kids stopped her from doing because babies yank earrings.

OP marriage is definitely not like romance novels or the movies. In fact I think these shows do us a disservice by filling us with these ideas about commitment. At the same time marriage doesn't have to be roommates who share a bed and just put up with each other.

If you want butterflies and endless romance, marriage is not for you. Not even long term dating. Just short, casual relationships.

I believe you can find a balance in marriage. I have been married a very short time but DH and I have been together a while. There are periods in our relationship which are "normal." We go about our lives, we watch TV, eat dinner, sleep.

Right now I am overwhelmed with school, DH is working, many nights I come home so beat down emotionally and physically from school that butterflies are so far away. Sometimes family issues arise that take a toll on the both of you.

It may sound boring but I enjoy the comfort. Knowing I don't have to dress up or pretend. Knowing if I have a nasty day I can just come home and not be expected to be a vixen, and that DH understands and he'll still be there tomorrow. I do the same for him.

The bolded makes the butterflies come back when you think of him!

 

[MrsQueeny]

Re: Ladies in LONG-TERM relationships or MARRIED - Are you in love or in like? Be hon

I always love my husband but I am not always in love with him. I don't like him most times and I am sure it is mutual. But the love is always there. We are in what I call cruise mode. We very rarely argue, we do what we know makes the other person happy, and we spend the qt we need together and apart. Q