Ladies, How Did You Know You Were Ready To Have Sex

brownie said:
I hear some saying carrying around the "V" card like it's a burden to unload. Maybe for some, but for me, I'm old-fashioned. I think it's a one-time gift. If I gave it to someone because I thought enough of them to do so, I'd be feeling someway awful and upset if I saw them the next day hanging around someone else; that's why I wouldn't take it lightly. I think some things in life should have some meaning. If you don't care about giving random "stuff" of yours away, what is sacred and how much do you value yourself? JMHO.
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mischka said:
It definitely was for me. Gotta love when people feel a certain way about something and try to shame others who didn't feel that same way.
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I actually agree. If you feel 100% good about your decision, of course, there should be no shame. I just wanted to show the opposite that being a virgin doesn't have to be shameful, or taboo either.
 
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I had many "opportunities" before FI but never acted upon them because I wasn't in love and didn't trust the men enough to even get touchy feely with them. I wasn't pressured in any way and even when people tried to pull the "nun for life" card I didn't pay them any mind. FI never asked for anything and respected my choice. I was 22.
It's a personal decision that should not pressured into or judged.

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kblc06 said:
@DayStar Lucky h#ffa you :look:
for the first time ever, I've met a person that I have a sincere, deep attraction to and the chemistry is definitely there. But I don't think I'm quite ready to take that step. Fortunately, he respects my wishes as I made it clear that I plan to remain a virgin until marriage. And although my mind is telling me no, my body's telling me YES
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I wish you luck with whatever you do. Sometimes the best way to make a decision is to gather information and give yourself time. Hot and heavy can simmer out in no time. If it is meant to be, it will only get better with time. I'm not against those who wait or don't wait; however, I think making an informed decision is good and sometimes just giving yourself time, you will get the answers you need. Sex can complicate relationships as well. How are you supposed to date, talk, and learn more about the person when you are in bed all the time? If you have marriage in mind, I'm all for taking it slowly and getting to really know him. Some say you need to drive the car as soon as possible to see if you like it, but from what you've said, it sounds like you already know the chemistry is there. Please update in the future.
 
I'm still a virgin at 23 and I know I'm ready for the physical experience, but I haven't found anyone I'd want to share that experience with. Giving up my virginity is a big deal so until I've met that person and we're in a serious relationship I'll be a virgin.
 
I was too young and in love. Though him and I are still friends (It was 10+ years ago), I wish I held on to it. I wasn't ready, I just wanted to express love and get physical. If I'd known then what I know now, I would have shown my love in different ways that didnt result in me losing a gift I cant get back.
 
I was 18, I really liked him, we were hanging out n next thing I knew... I'm 26 now, and we are together in a serious relationship and talking marriage.
 
I'm still a virgin at 19 but its getting so hard because I feel like the last virgin in georgia lol the older I get the harder it is because the boys get more and more experienced and aren't trying to mess with a virgin unless she's ready to give it up. I wanted to wait till marriage but I hear about sooo many people who waited till marriage and then got a divorce.. I don't want that.
 
rejuvenation1 said:
No matter what your choice was (deciding it was time or waiting), I wanted to say all should be glad that they were/are able to give it away. I've lived all over the world, and there are women who don't have a choice. I'm not saying that you should feel they are lesser or look at them with pity, but just know that you are in a VERY fortunate situation to be able to decide, whatever you decide. For me, that's what makes it special, not ancient views of virginity or modern views of sleeping around, but the fact that it is YOUR choice.
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Perfectly stated.



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Ditto! Same story only I was 18. I should have slowed my fast tail down. :blush:


FlowerHair said:
For me it was an imagined pressure from others...I felt like I was the last virgin in the world :lol: It was my own decision. I was 17.

Now, I wish I would have waited...what's the rush anyway??
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Basically, I think waiting until you feel you're ready is the best thing. I was ready at 17 and I have no regrets. I went into it with both eyes opened and I made sure my decision wasn't made from pressure or to please anyone but myself. Some people wait until they're married and thats a beautiful thing. Do you and protect yourself, respect yourself. :yep:
 
I guess I just knew. I'm 22 now and I lost my V-card a few weeks ago to a friend of mine. We've been talking for a little over a year and honestly, I just wanted to. I don't regret it. I've never believed in the whole saving it for a husband thing when chances are the husband didn't save a thing. I just wanted to be comfortable and with someone I was comfortable with. I knew if I never did I'd always wonder about him...now I know.:lol:
 
whew...some of these responses make me feel like a heaux (lol, sorry ladies I am wide awake at midnight and feeling silly)...seriously, I was young (hell, I'm still young) 16 and I just wanted to try it, and my first time was awesome and honestly, I enjoy sex. Plain and simple. I don't regret my decision and waiting until some "magic moment" for me, wasn't flying. My advice is to wait until YOU are ready; if you feel attracted to this guy but you still have reservations, then you are not ready.
 
Mortons said:
The only person I felt my virginity was a gift for was me. I had sex at 17 with my first, because I felt I wanted to, and I've been enjoying it every since.
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This is how I feel. My lady parts are not a gift for another person, they're mine! :look: They may be shared during a moment of pleasure but I do as I will with my virginity thankyouverymuch! :yep:
 
I was 22. There was no pressure & I was at the point where I didnt feel like I was "losing" anything. I knew I wouldnt later regret having sex for the 1st time even if the relationship between he & I didnt work out.
 
still not ready and i'm almost 30. :look: will be ready when i jump the broom. never felt pressure. actually several of my best friends hold similar views.

don't think my v-card is a gift to a man necessarily. it's my gift, just as sex is. hence my reluctance to let it go until i deem the person suitable. marriage is apart of my criteria.
 
18 he was the first guy I felt deep attraction to and ended up falling in love with him. I don't regret it although the first time was kinda boring lol. I knew I was ready because my body was yelling and my heart wanted him to be my first.
 
i wouldn't say i "knew", i just wanted to. he was my first love, i cared about him and he cared about me, i was leaving to study abroad in London and only had a short time with him before that (we started dating towards the end of my sophomore year in college, had summer break on different sides of the country, and then he came back for school a few days before i left for London). i probably would have tried having sex earlier if we had been in the same state that summer. my closest friends had sex for the first time around the same time, so it wasn't really peer pressure. just something i wanted to do before leaving him for another 3 months.
 
I had a stupid reason to do it: my age. I was in my early twenties and was in my first relationship - well I thought it was a relationship when really it was a situationship - EVER so I decided to go ahead and do it. Bad idea, wait for the one, he will be worth it.
 
I remained one until 19... I didnt want to be the one not to have taken plunge in teens, so two weeks before Birthday, bam... I wanted to though with the guy....

 
Brownie said:
I would say don't do something just to do it; if you're feeling like that, go get a spur-of-the-moment manicure or a new pair of shoes. I honestly wouldn't be impulsive about it. Make it mean something. Also if you're never tasted chocolate, it easier not to eat chocolate; once you've tasted chocolate, it's hard not to want more and more chocolate. Sex also opens the door for so many other issues such as pregnancy, STD's, birth control, exclusive/open relationships etc, etc. Are you ready for all that?
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Girl, you hit the nail on the head real hard! :yep:
 
softblackcotton

Hang in there mami. I'm rooting for you and all the rest of you virgins. I know it's rough but please take your time and make sure you have someone that really loves you for you. Ain't nothing like giving it up to someone who didn't deserve it! Sex is very very very deep. It's like your souls become intertwined when you step into that zone, your emotions get knocked out of whack, your judgement becomes questionable. It's worth the wait!
 
I decided to get married at the age of 30 so I figured that though it conflicted with my beliefs (no sex before marriage) people in the Bible got married at a much younger age, fornication is vague, and I just wanted to do it.

Also my bf at the time was very marriage centered so I figured might as well do it sooner than later.
 
I lost my v-card out of sheer boredom. An idle mind really does breed trouble or however that line goes......the last i heard my first ended up selling drugs then got caught and was sent to jail. Oh well cuz
 
I've had many opportunities to lose it, but never went through with it.

First opportunity was when I was 12. I honestly didn't know much about sex back then, and had yet to even have my first kiss, so when one of my brother's friends offered I was NOT willing to go there and honestly felt very scared.

Then came 14/15, where I was dating someone who and been my best friend for a few years and honestly felt I could trust him. He always showed how much he cared for me and even though he wasn't a virgin anymore (he lost it on an impulse) he was very reluctant to have sex with me because he didn't want me to regret my first time the way he did. Years later I expressed my gratitude towards him for doing that, but I don't think I would've regretted losing it to him very much simply because I do know he truly loved me in how sacrificial he was.

Then I got saved at 15. Didn't date anyone until I was 17.

At 17 I was with someone who I thought I would be with forever. It was the first time I had did anything more than make out with one of my boyfriends. My desire to lose it to him was a mixture of hormones and an unhealthy form of idolatry towards him (I put pleasing him before pleasing god, and even stopped going to church as much due to my relationship with him). I would go back and forth with him on whether or not I wanted to lose it. Not saying we would argue, but one day I'd say I was willing to lose it, the next I wasn't. He was also a virgin, so there was no pressure on that front, but he pretty much said "Listen, you don't want to lose it. I know you don't because you keep changing your mind." So he didn't get my v-card.

Now I've completely decided that my body belongs to God, and that's the commitment I made when I chose to stop dating my 17 yr old sweetheart and start getting back in His face.

I said all that to say that me remaining a virgin up until this point was not done by any strength or will power of my own, I just barely made it here by the skin of my teeth and I'm not proud of some of the things I have done outside of losing my v-card. I want to stay this way for the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with simply because I don't want to have any other sex partners to compare him too. I want him to be able to know that nobody else can say "I hit that" or whatever kind of stupidness this generation spouts about sex. I believe that God will honor my marriage if I honor Him in my singleness first.
 
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