I don't want to be smothered, but if I really like a guy and he really likes me, I want to hold hands most of the time. I like to cuddle. I like to kiss and be close. I enjoy it more than sex, even...
Thankfully I have an SO who loves to hug and kiss on me
^^^ YES!! If I really like a guy, I expect him to be all over me to the point where it makes me sick!
@ the above! SP, you are not the only one. DH is not naturally as affectionate as I am but he makes that extra effort because he loves me. Embrace your needs, that is just part of your makeup and what makes you you. The right guy will love that about you.
I like a-lot of affection as well - hand holding, cuddling etc.
I didn't realize I liked/needed affection and attention so much until a recent relationship where the guy didn't like to touch or hold hands in public and was really to himself. I felt rejected and then it dawned on me that every other SO I'd had was very affectionate, so that experience helped me realize the level of affection and quality time I needed out of an SO.
I was told that he didn't like to do PDA's. But he doesn't do non-PDA's, either. I think he is just not into me like that. He's not affectionate. And when he is, it seems forced just because I brought it to his attention. I don't want him to do anything that he doesn't want to do. This one's probably not the right one for me. He's a good person and I like him, but being non-affectionate may be a deal-breaker for me.
The gift was a bigger thing to me than the card, but no, she wanted a card and was upset that there was no card on Mother's Day or in the package that had the gift in it.
This isn't that author dude, is it?
Oh, and to answer your question about the Five Love Languages, I haven't read the book, but from what I've heard, I've learned a lot.
Even on a non-romantic level, I've gained so much. For example, my mother REALLY likes gifts on special days (birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day, etc.). ESPECIALLY cards.
One time we had a Mother's Day dinner a week early because my brother was in town from Connecticut. I gave her a gift then and she was happy. So I thought my job was done, right?
Why did she get mad that I didn't have a card for her???
I used to just huff and puff and think, "Oh come on! It's the thought that counts!" But you know what? That's important to HER and that's HER love language. Since she is a wonderful mother overall, I will always make sure that she has a card on those special days, even if she loses them one day later.
So back to you... you like affection and a man who cares about you should want to show you that. And in turn, you will show your love to him in the ways that are important for him.
LOL!!! You made me laugh, Bunny!
Sadly, he begged me to get back with him two weeks after I broke it off. I, like a dummy, went back. I'm very sad in this "relationship". He brings me nothing. No emotional, spiritual, intellectual or physical satisfaction. Why did I go back, you ask? I don't know, except for I might be battling a bit of depression and low self-esteem. Maybe I'm feeling that he is the best I can do at the moment. I'm getting older and it's getting much harder to find someone.
Good tips in there.
Read the arranged marriage thread that I started.
Also, while you might be getting older and having more difficulty finding someone, the longer you stay with this dude, the older you will get and the MORE difficult it will be and you'll still be as single as you are right now.
The book I mentioned talks about this issue.
