Keep in Touch w/Exes?!

Oneprettypa

Oneprettypa

New Member
So do any of you either have exes that you can't shake (still have feelings for) or keep in touch with even though you are in a new relationship?

My girls and I were discussing this and I thought it was interesting how many women actually keep in touch with an ex despite being married or with a new man.

Ya'll always keep it real-- which I why I love this forum-- what do y'all think? Is that an OK thing to do?
 
I keep in touch with 2/3 of mine.

I think my SO wouldn't have minded keeping in touch with a few, but they weren't able to handle it. His last gf hated me, so I wouldn't have been OK with her hanging about.
 
Ex#1 and I have a great relationship. It doesn't matter who we ate dating , we will always be friends and our SOs just have to accept it!

Ex#2 its a strange, strange relationship :look:
 
Not beyond being friends on fb and thats only with a few of my exes (the ones were the break up wasn't bad).

The last 3 people I dated I couldn't hang out with them like that because they are still attracted to me and I know they would try something regardless if they were in a relationship or not.

When I break up with a guy I have to cut them off completely otherwise it would never end. One of us has to cut all ties.
 
When folks are really trying to move on, I think it's the best thing to do.

I keep in touch with a few I've dated. Now that I'm in my first 'real' promising relationship I'm rethinking this behavior and questioning my motives. Where I'd seek them out just to say hello or keep their numbers in my phone, not anymore. If we're not real friends today, there's a reason for it. I had to really let them go. Leaving those doors open is just messy. It's actually part of my growing pains and not just with exes but people in general. MOVE ON I said to myself lol
 
Let's be honest here, for SOME they just wanna know that they still got it. So they keep the cover of 'friendship' to test it every once in a while....EGO
 
Noppeeeee! I cuttt it all off..at the chord, umbilicus, chain then you name it! Speaking from my experiences..they just want to know if they still "got" it and if they can still "get" it! No sir ree!
 
Girl I had one of my exes blatantly ask me in my face that even if we are not dating..can we still have S...X? I have since rededicated myself to my Christianity and intend to remain celibate until marriage. I don't need them around to remind me of how I was hurt, the things we did or any temptation whatsoever. Besides, I have a tendency to erase them from my frontal lobe once I have ended a relationship
 
My hubs doesn't play that... No texts, Facebook, tweets, nothing! I was just amazed at how many of my friends still talk to their exes on a regular basis...

I WILL say that it does feel good when they attempt to contact me because obviously that means they're still thinking about me ;) **insert stroked ego here** but it feels even better to have the man I married..
 
Over the years I have stayed in touch with 80% of my exes in one way or another. Overtime we drift apart and we may converse if we see each other out in public. My ex is in a new relationship. And we talk from time to time. Nothing special. We aren't talking about anything major just protein powders and blenders :ohwell:
 
So for those who keep in touch with exes, how do you handle it when they start talking about starting over, or remind u how good things used to be? Seems like it would be hard to keep old feelings from coming back of you keep in touch.
 
Once the sexual attraction is cut and we have both moved on, a friendship can remain.

My first love was one of those relationships where we could never be friends, or check up on each other because of the sexual connection that still remained. We never spoke again.

The two after were fine because we don't want each other like that, or romantically any more. They both have serious relationships and I do too. When we do contact each other, or hang out occasionally it's just to catch up and see that things are alright. Don't experience the ego boost, or any other funny business.
 
Nope. When we are done there is nothing more. If they I'm like nothing here for you what you calling for? Oh just to say hi......ok bye i rather go watch grass grow. We all know your behind did not call to say hi....keep it moving.....
 
I don't. Never wanted to. Some exes have tried to find me and as soon as I got wind of it, I made sure they couldn't. So not interested. It's also part of why I don't have accounts on any social media sites or even job-related ones like LinkedIn. Folks try to sell Facebook to me by saying "old friends can find you and you can find them and you can share photos". Erhmm...people that matter to me I still have a way to contact them (email, phone). Those I don't, I really don't need to be in touch with...and in particular exes whose chapters were closed when they became exes. I cannot think what I'd get from them that I am not getting from the friendships/relationships I currently have. *shrug* There's a reason they are exes.

:lachen: cinnespice you and I are >>here<<.
 
Oneprettypa said:
So for those who keep in touch with exes, how do you handle it when they start talking about starting over, or remind u how good things used to be? Seems like it would be hard to keep old feelings from coming back of you keep in touch.
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There really aren't any feelings to come back. I get over people quick. When I was young it used to take forever, then in my 30s it took me a couple of weeks. Now I think I'm about over it in a weekend :ohwell:

My exe's talking about getting back together is no different than a guy trying to pick me up talking about us :nono: Same reaction. :look:
 
My Ex and I are still really good friends to this day. We do still care about each other, but it doesn't go beyond anything but friendship. If it was a horrible break up, he/I cheated, whatever then I can see losing all contact with him. But it was none of the above. We simply realized, we're better as friends then as a couple, so we ended. So I don't see it an issue that he and I keep n touch, hell we still hang out.
 
AyannaDivine said:
Ex#1 and I have a great relationship. It doesn't matter who we ate dating , we will always be friends and our SOs just have to accept it!
Click to expand...

See this right here, I have NEVER understood and personally would have a huge problem with. My thing is, if you are that close, never wanna let go, I'll always love you, even if we marry other people type of deal. Why not just be together? That seems to be disrespectful to their relationship. I would never put up with this personally.
 
Oneprettypa said:
So for those who keep in touch with exes, how do you handle it when they start talking about starting over, or remind u how good things used to be? Seems like it would be hard to keep old feelings from coming back of you keep in touch.
Click to expand...

They don't. That's the point:spinning: Those are the exes you don't keep in contact with.
 
Angelinhell said:
See this right here, I have NEVER understood and personally would have a huge problem with. My thing is, if you are that close, never wanna let go, I'll always love you, even if we marry other people type of deal. Why not just be together? That seems to be disrespectful to their relationship. I would never put up with this personally.
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Yesssss!!!!!
I can appreciate an ex who knows when to fall back. Anyone with the "I was here first" mindset doesn't care much about me, my happiness or future= dangerous folk.
 
Angelinhell said:
See this right here, I have NEVER understood and personally would have a huge problem with. My thing is, if you are that close, never wanna let go, I'll always love you, even if we marry other people type of deal. Why not just be together? That seems to be disrespectful to their relationship. I would never put up with this personally.
Click to expand...

I think people are different tbh. I've never had a partner be insecure about this thankfully, or get upset. It's extremely obvious there's nothing between me and my ex in any way. I would never cut all contact with him and I'd be suspicious of a guy that was jealous of the friendship lol:perplexed. He would have to have general jealousy problems I think, which may be a problem in the future.

I wouldn't stop being friends with anyone for a partner, unless they were harmful (male, or female). That's why I agree with Angelinhell. My friends are my friends for good reason, if you don't like it KIM.
 
Vanthie said:
I think people are different tbh. I've never had a partner be insecure about this thankfully, or get upset. It's extremely obvious there's nothing between me and my ex in any way. I would never cut all contact with him and I'd be suspicious of a guy that was jealous of the friendship lol:perplexed. He would have to have general jealousy problems I think, which may be a problem in the future.

I wouldn't stop being friends with anyone for a partner, unless they were harmful (male, or female). That's why I agree with Angelinhell. My friends are my friends for good reason, if you don't like it KIM.
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I agree with this. I wouldn't date a guy that had a problem with it. Because for me, it would mean he didn't understand how to be a friend. I let go of male friends when I started dating my SO right after college. Then he was gone and so were my friends. I vowed at that point I wouldn't let go of friends for anyone. Now if they are just an ex and not a friend, who cares. But the few that are still friends, nope.

But everyone is different. You have to do what works for you.
 
faithVA said:
I agree with this. I wouldn't date a guy that had a problem with it. Because for me, it would mean he didn't understand how to be a friend. I let go of male friends when I started dating my SO right after college. Then he was gone and so were my friends. I vowed at that point I wouldn't let go of friends for anyone. Now if they are just an ex and not a friend, who cares. But the few that are still friends, nope.

But everyone is different. You have to do what works for you.
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Everyone does what is right for him/her= agreed.

For the sake of conversation, what if he just had an issue with the ones who've been up in ya? Does that make him less 'controlling' or 'jealous' and a bit more reasonable?

I'm trying to take a middle ground position on this although my gut feeling is it's not appropriate.
 
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Fine 4s said:
Everyone does what is right for his/her= agreed.

For the sake of conversation, what if he just had an issue with the ones who've been up in ya? Does that make him less 'controlling' or 'jealous' and a bit more reasonable?

I'm trying to take a middle groud position on this although my gut feeling is it's not appropriate.
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On my side it wouldn't make any difference. I'm not going to label him controlling or jealous or whatever. I would just say he isn't for me.

I do understand some men and women can't be friends, with sex previously involved or not. It just has never been my world. And I date guys where that isn't there world either. It's not something I can explain. It's just something I know and feel inside.

But trust me I do know that most men I know and have known can not be friends with women. It is foreign to them. Those I know to keep at a distance.
 
I only have one ex and don't keep in touch with him and have zero desire to. He was a horrible person and I doubt he's changed much. I don't get the idea of remaining friends with exes at all. If they weren't a good partner how could they be a good friend?
 
Fine 4s said:
Let's be honest here, for SOME they just wanna know that they still got it. So they keep the cover of 'friendship' to test it every once in a while....EGO
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I think this is the case for 99.999999% of women in this situation.

Angelinhell said:
See this right here, I have NEVER understood and personally would have a huge problem with. My thing is, if you are that close, never wanna let go, I'll always love you, even if we marry other people type of deal. Why not just be together? That seems to be disrespectful to their relationship. I would never put up with this personally.
Click to expand...

It makes no sense to me, either and it would definitely be a deal breaker for me. The funny thing is, the women (and men) that I see in this type of situation are usually single. Whatever relationships they do have are usually ended shortly after they reveal their never ending love for the Ex. :lol: No sane person would deal with that. Because it's foolishness. It's only until one person falls back that things change. I've seen it with a lot of friends.
 
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