Jov's 3 month progress. bittersweet and kinda long rant

[jovial_sis87]

Ok as of today, its been 4 months since i started my hair care journey. I'm sorta happy with the progress but its still bittersweet. I'll show pics of my 3 month progress pic at the end of this post.

Well, i'm alil upset cause my hair is breaking off. when i flat iron (which is rarely) i see alot of short hairs mixed in with the longer ones and i noticed a lot of hair on my shirt lately. u can't really tell in the pic tho. I've DC'd and did protein treatments but nothing has stopped it. i think i know the culprit though....my stylist. I love her to death but she don't know what i thought she did.

Ok so i went to her after my first 13 week stretch. I was so proud of myself cause i knew my hair was thicker and i was so ready to get a relaxer. As soon as she took my hair down from the ponytail she said,"what the heck have u done to yo head?" I was like,"i decided to try to give my hair a break from relaxers cause i want it to thicken it back up". and i started telling her about LHCF saying its a website to help women of color grow longer, healthier hair ( and be healthy overall). She replied, "yo hair don't need to thicken up. Its already thick enough. U shouldn't go that long without a perm! and u know yo head need some heat. Don't ever do that again. if u do only go 6-8 weeks. and who these people on this website. U can't trust every one! Are they stylists? Huh?" So i'm like whatever and rollin my eyes (in my mind cause i didn't want her to pop me in the forehead with a comb cause she kinda like an aunt to me)

Well anyway, she started puttin the relaxer in and complaining the whole time. Then i noticed that she was puttin relaxer on my already relaxed hair. She kinda pulled my hair back into a pony tail. I was like OH MY GOD!!! :burning:13 weeks wasted cause she thought she should use more relaxer. and i'm sitting there pissed cause everybody else walking around with relaxer put on the right way. So i told her i was burning and she went to wash it out.

I'm kinda glad i told her to wash it out when i did cause i accidently got texlaxed. i like the waves when i wash my hair. so i'mma try to stick with it. Anyway, since i don't want to find another stylist i think i'mma start pressing my roots before like a week before i get my perm to make her think i didn't stretch. too scared to perm my own hair and i don't really trust anybody else to do it. Hopefully i do better when it comes to my 6 month update. Thanks for reading!!!ffrant:

Sorry if they are too small. Had to take the pics with my rinky dink phone. The first pic is Dec 2008 and the 2nd is March 09 ( just took my hair down from a bun thats why its going to one side):update:

 

[prettyFine]

great progress! it's growin just be consistent and keep it up.

 

[Denise11]

Girl, Your hair is thick already. And you know, stretching is not for everyone. If your hair is breaking from stretching, then it's defeating the purpose of stretching.

 

[Love Always]

Keep up the good work! Are you sure you want to continue going to her?

 

[LadyD]

Your hair looks thicker to me also. From this point I would either find another stylist or do it myself. Relaxer on already relaxed hair...

 

[mkd]

Just wondering, why do you not want to look for another stylist?

 

[MAMATO]

I am sorry for you... but anyways nice progress for only 4 months, you did great girl. I am do-it-yourself-girl and have always been and I am happy to be stylist-free...You may need to give it a second thought...

 

[brownelovely]

Your hair looks good. Like someone earlier mentioned, you may not need to stretch as long. However, you need to drop your stylist. Several things she said to you are puzzling to me and your actions too.

You shouldn't have to press your roots just to please or make her feel better about YOUR hair. I don't care how close I am with my stylist, when something isn't right, I say something...whether they get offended or not. A true stylist will take the time to listen and not critique you.

Instead of telling you what you need to be doing, she could have taken a different route with her approach or rather more professional. Suggestions are the best way to go and let the client decide for themselves. As far as complaining while perming your hair no way would she have stayed on my head.

I've learned a lot from LHCF and just because you have a license doesn't mean much these days (relaxer on relaxed ends???, SMH). You may want to try self relaxing or a new stylist.

 

[Itllbeokbaby]

great progess!

 

[LovinLea]

i know what you're talking about when you say during your touch-up she did the ponytail thing why? it overprocesses about half your head. i know she's like an aunt to you, but maybe you need to have a serious talk with her so that she doesn't ruin your progress.

what she mean your hair "need heat"? i didn't know hair NEEDED heat.

 

[jovial_sis87]

Thanx y'all. Yea ya'll are right. i'm just a really timid person and its hard for me to let people know how i feel. I relaxed my hair myself for the first time when i started out and it came out ok. I was to scared to do it again cause i was alil intimidated by all the new growth and i was scared i may overprocess or underprocess my hair. I guess i'll face my fears and try to relax my hair myself next time. and i don't think i will stretch that long unless those last few weeks involve braids so i'll have little to now manipulation. Maybe i should try 8-10 weeks instead


Lea, this isn't her first time saying i needed heat for my hair. I tried to give my hair a break from heat and relaxers because of breakage a few years ago and she said the same thing. i was really ignorant then because i was still new to relaxing. She said my hair is too thick and nappy to go without heat.

MKD, I guess i'm so used to her and i don't know many people in the city i'm in now ( in school). I guess it wouldn't hurt to look, but alot of the girls here don't have really healthy hair. I'll probably just start doing it myself and just let her do special styles that i can't do in between relaxers.

 

[Liege4421]

I'm sorry for your situation...I don't want to overstep my place, but if you have to pretend that you haven't stretched so she doesn't overprocess your hair, shouldn't you at least give someone else a try? I know it's hard to trust stylists, but if you can see other people in the same salon getting a good relaxer...shouldn't you at least give them the benefit of the doubt? I know it's hard when your stylist is also a family member/friend...which is why I would suggest you choose a stylist that you don't have any relationships with so you don't feel uncomfortable being frank with them!

As a side note, your hair has made beautiful progress...don't get discouraged!

 

[Candycat02]

Girl, Your hair is thick already. And you know, stretching is not for everyone. If your hair is breaking from stretching, then it's defeating the purpose of stretching.

I agree with Denise11. I respect all that can stretch in between relaxers but for me around week 7/8 I notice a lot of hair breakage no matter if I finger comb or other low manipulation technique.

Also, you should know what it is your stylist is putting on your hair at all times. I try to phrase it like I'm curious what kind of products she is using so that I know what I need to use later, but it also helps for me to rest assured that she's putting the same relaxer that she gave me last time, etc.

 

[lilsparkle825]

Ok so i went to her after my first 13 week stretch. I was so proud of myself cause i knew my hair was thicker and i was so ready to get a relaxer. As soon as she took my hair down from the ponytail she said,"what the heck have u done to yo head?" I was like,"i decided to try to give my hair a break from relaxers cause i want it to thicken it back up". and i started telling her about LHCF saying its a website to help women of color grow longer, healthier hair ( and be healthy overall). She replied, "yo hair don't need to thicken up. Its already thick enough. U shouldn't go that long without a perm! and u know yo head need some heat. Don't ever do that again. if u do only go 6-8 weeks. and who these people on this website. U can't trust every one! Are they stylists? Huh?" So i'm like whatever and rollin my eyes (in my mind cause i didn't want her to pop me in the forehead with a comb cause she kinda like an aunt to me)

And this is why I don't tell people about LHCF, especially stylists.

I think you are making great progress.

 

[mkd]

Thanx y'all. Yea ya'll are right. i'm just a really timid person and its hard for me to let people know how i feel. I relaxed my hair myself for the first time when i started out and it came out ok. I was to scared to do it again cause i was alil intimidated by all the new growth and i was scared i may overprocess or underprocess my hair. I guess i'll face my fears and try to relax my hair myself next time. and i don't think i will stretch that long unless those last few weeks involve braids so i'll have little to now manipulation. Maybe i should try 8-10 weeks instead


Lea, this isn't her first time saying i needed heat for my hair. I tried to give my hair a break from heat and relaxers because of breakage a few years ago and she said the same thing. i was really ignorant then because i was still new to relaxing. She said my hair is too thick and nappy to go without heat.

MKD, I guess i'm so used to her and i don't know many people in the city i'm in now ( in school). I guess it wouldn't hurt to look, but alot of the girls here don't have really healthy hair. I'll probably just start doing it myself and just let her do special styles that i can't do in between relaxers.

I understand and I know it is hard trying to find a stylist! Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[natural2be]

Oh girl, I have definitely been here more then once. I am currently in the process of transitioning but during my first transition I gave up after 5 months and decided to relax. I had the stylist tell me the same exact thing your's told you. Please don't listen to that, stylist sometimes don't have the patience to deal with thicker hair and that is where all the ranting comes from. Do what is right for you and your hair and good luck.

Your hair looks great, keep up the good work.

 

[hurricane]

Stretching is hard for me the longest I've stretched was 8 weeks. I used to go to a stylist who wanted to perm my whole head on every re-touch. That *****. I'm sorry. Nothing happened to my hair but it's the principal of the thing. It took me awhile but I found another stylist. Good Luck. Keep your hair moisturized!!!!!!

 

[HealthyHair2007]

You are doing great, hang in there. Don't give up.

 

[SmartyPants]

Ok as of today, its been 4 months since i started my hair care journey. I'm sorta happy with the progress but its still bittersweet. I'll show pics of my 3 month progress pic at the end of this post.

Well, i'm alil upset cause my hair is breaking off. when i flat iron (which is rarely) i see alot of short hairs mixed in with the longer ones and i noticed a lot of hair on my shirt lately. u can't really tell in the pic tho. I've DC'd and did protein treatments but nothing has stopped it. i think i know the culprit though....my stylist. I love her to death but she don't know what i thought she did.

Ok so i went to her after my first 13 week stretch. I was so proud of myself cause i knew my hair was thicker and i was so ready to get a relaxer. As soon as she took my hair down from the ponytail she said,"what the heck have u done to yo head?" I was like,"i decided to try to give my hair a break from relaxers cause i want it to thicken it back up". and i started telling her about LHCF saying its a website to help women of color grow longer, healthier hair ( and be healthy overall). She replied, "yo hair don't need to thicken up. Its already thick enough. U shouldn't go that long without a perm! and u know yo head need some heat. Don't ever do that again. if u do only go 6-8 weeks. and who these people on this website. U can't trust every one! Are they stylists? Huh?" So i'm like whatever and rollin my eyes (in my mind cause i didn't want her to pop me in the forehead with a comb cause she kinda like an aunt to me)

Well anyway, she started puttin the relaxer in and complaining the whole time. Then i noticed that she was puttin relaxer on my already relaxed hair. She kinda pulled my hair back into a pony tail. I was like OH MY GOD!!! :burning:13 weeks wasted cause she thought she should use more relaxer. and i'm sitting there pissed cause everybody else walking around with relaxer put on the right way. So i told her i was burning and she went to wash it out.

I'm kinda glad i told her to wash it out when i did cause i accidently got texlaxed. i like the waves when i wash my hair. so i'mma try to stick with it. Anyway, since i don't want to find another stylist i think i'mma start pressing my roots before like a week before i get my perm to make her think i didn't stretch. too scared to perm my own hair and i don't really trust anybody else to do it. Hopefully i do better when it comes to my 6 month update. Thanks for reading!!!ffrant:

Sorry if they are too small. Had to take the pics with my rinky dink phone. The first pic is Dec 2008 and the 2nd is March 09 ( just took my hair down from a bun thats why its going to one side):update:

HELL NO!!!!!

You need to find another stylist or you'll be right back here every 3 months complaining about the way she does your hair. Anyone telling you you HAVE TO USE HEAT is incompetent. And raking a relaxer all the way through your relaxed hair--GOOD LORD! Friendship is one thing, but your hair and it breaking off is another thing. You need to find someone more professional--friendship be damned!

 

[SmartyPants]

And this is why I don't tell people about LHCF, especially stylists.

I think you are making great progress.

Yep... I don't tell the woman who does my relaxers anything. When my mom went in for a wash and set without me, she tried to pump my mom for information about how I was getting my hair to grow out so healthy even though I take my own sweet time coming back for relaxers--even my mom knew not to tell her A THING about LHCF!

 

[LaLaa]

Your making great progress!!!

 

[locabouthair]

You're making good progress!!