It's YOUR Hair, You Don't Have to Justify

[Supergirl]

Just wanna say...

I see a thread like so every few weeks:

Someone who decided to go natural changes her mind and relaxes, and then makes this big apologetic post or offers this huge explanation of why she relaxed her hair again.

It's yours. You don't have to feel bad, guilty, or whatever about it. Stop the madness!!!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

i'm glad you said it. When I see those types of threads I don't normally respond because i'm thinking "you don't owe me an explanation to do what you feel is right for YOUR head". I guess they feel guilty because they have already stated that they were going to do 'x' and end up doing 'z'. Ladies - DO YOU!

Just like in my sig how it says 30 day no heat challenge. I think I am going to renig on that LOL

 

[dinaaike]

Thank you for this. If someone is on the fence and wants advice, fine and good. If they have chosen and feel "guilty" that someone else might be let down by their decision...no . When you have responsibility for it, it's yours. Do what is best for you and it, and allow others the same freedom.

 

[SeatownSista]

ITA... Great post!

 

[MzOptimistic]

Great Thread SG. We're here for advice. Not to beat anyone up over THEIR decisions for their hair

 

[DreadlockedLady0171]

I agree.
I think that people are apologetic because some people have unrealistic expectations of going natural. So when they realize that they cannot hang, they feel the need to apologize.
Now, if someone wants to offer an explanation, that's ok. Maybe it can help someone else who is on the fence.

 

[Allandra]

Just wanna say...

I see a thread like so every few weeks:

Someone who decided to go natural changes her mind and relaxes, and then makes this big apologetic post or offers this huge explanation of why she relaxed her hair again.

It's yours. You don't have to feel bad, guilty, or whatever about it. Stop the madness!!!

I agree 100 percent.

 

[Lovelylocs]

I agree.
I think that people are apologetic because some people have unrealistic expectations of going natural. So when they realize that they cannot hang, they feel the need to apologize.
Now, if someone wants to offer an explanation, that's ok. Maybe it can help someone else who is on the fence.

I agree with the bolded. They don't have to apologize, but it is good when they can offer smthg helpful like realistic expectations and problems they had with it.

 

[gradygirl]

I agree!!! Do what it is best for you and keep it moving. Sometimes we just need a change for whatever reason and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[pringe]

glad u said it cause i'm tired of people apologizing for the right to do what they want to their own hair. And btw anyone who looks down their nose at u because u changed ur mind on a hairstyle isn't worth keepin around anyway cause that's petty and kinda junior high schoolish dontcha think?

 

[Tallone]

WORD!!!
I didnt know if they thought they were letting a coalition of naturals down or what!

 

[Aggie]

Thanks for the post Supergirl. When I first joined the board I was not into trying ayurveda hair care, something that I though was crazy since I was not an Indian and I even posted in a thread stating so. I think it was a thread that goes something like "Who else here is NOT an ayurveda lady?"

Could you believe that I am an ayurveda lady now. After seeing all the great progress of thick hairs using ayurveda, I thought to myself, there must be something really good about this product to produce such great results. I must say the first time was an adjustment but I love what ayurveda products do to my hair - so strong and thick looking. The one thing I never thought to do was apologize for my decision to use ayurveda hair care products and I will not apologize for any other decisions I will make about my hair. This post should make all the ladies here feel liberated.

 

[gymfreak336]

Great Post!!!

I just want to add that this goes the other way......If you are natural and it is getting too hard for you to manage or the shrinkage is driving you crazy... or whatever and you want to blow it out, texlax it etc....... Do it and don't apologize for it. Its your hair, enjoy it.

 

[cmw45]

Just wanna say...

I see a thread like so every few weeks:

Someone who decided to go natural changes her mind and relaxes, and then makes this big apologetic post or offers this huge explanation of why she relaxed her hair again.

It's yours. You don't have to feel bad, guilty, or whatever about it. Stop the madness!!!

I also agree.

 

[cmw45]

Hmmm...I think there is only ONE instance in which an apology or an explanation might be necessary: People that go from relaxed to natural and then become Nappy Nazis and then go back to relaxed. You ALL know who I am talking about. They are the women who chid and ridicule others to let go of the "creamy crack" and talk about how people who have relaxers have are "trapped" in an European mindset and call them "permies." I'm sorry, you do alll that preeching and then swithch back, you owe people a little sumthin.

Other than those people, do whateva the heck you want.

 

[Napp]

i agree. but some how i do feel i might feel bad if i texturize in the future.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I know I am guilty of doing this, I did a big apology when I decided to Tex lax, But I did it because I had so many watching me and telling me how much I was an Inspiration to them, and then had those give great advice etc. For some I guess we do feel that we let some people down, Especially when it comes to changing from Natural to Relaxed, We know it is our hair and we can do what we want to it, But I guess you just let people know why you did it. I think most are caught up in the Issues Regarding Natural Hair, Heck if it ain't for you, then it just ain't for you! We have so many options to do with our hair, Relaxer,Natural,Dreaded etc. Being Natural doesn't equal Healthy Growing Hair it is a matter of how you care for it!! LOL!!But I Agree 100% with this Thread!!

 

[tocktick]

Great Thread SG. We're here for advice. Not to beat anyone up over THEIR decisions for their hair

co-sign...

 

[Poohbear]

Just wanna say...

I see a thread like so every few weeks:

Someone who decided to go natural changes her mind and relaxes, and then makes this big apologetic post or offers this huge explanation of why she relaxed her hair again.

It's yours. You don't have to feel bad, guilty, or whatever about it. Stop the madness!!!

Exactly! I agree! No one owes an explanation to anyone.

 

[aloof one]

Yea I feel bad, I may have been one of the heifers who One-Starred StillaLady when she texturized... then turned around and texturized myself like a week later

I think we apologize because we feel guilty- it is a way of apologizing to ourselves more than it is to LHCF.

The one that gets me for real is when people do haircuts (like 6 inches of hair coming off) and they make this big long post about how sorry they are, it reminds me of a concession speech after an election or something. When I cut my hair, I'm usually just scared for myself- I don't care what folks on here think cause yall arent' the ones who have to walk around with my potential bad haircut.

Some people may feel like they're letting down fans when they cut or relax or go natural or get a new color put in. I would beware of that mentality, becuase that could get in the way of future progress if you aren't careful. If you think all these folks are rooting for you to get to APL or Knee length, and you ignore that your ends are jacked up and need a trim for 6 months, then when you get to APL you have to make a post talking about how you lost all your progress as soon as you relaxed. Do it for you, not the ladies on LHCF...

 

[Faith]

Well said Supergirl. I realized I was almost making excuses to my mom for going natural again and I thought "um, it's your hair...why are you explaining yourself", lol. Good reminder.