it is not that easy to get your way....

[henrilou]

Well I went to the Salon on Friday and got a wash/press from the stylist I've had for the last year and a half. Well I have been thinking about it and I decided that I needed a trim. Actually a bit more. My hair has grown,past b/s but it's straggly and I think that for me, b/s is a good length.
Well I told my stylist and she was ready to go!!! She said, OK, I know what you need you just sit there." I said,"NO....this is my hair and I have to live with it. I want to talk about what you're cutting before you cut." And it was on. The other stylist came over and said,"Let's cut the back in a 'V'." (I had never even seen her before...)I said,"NO that's not what I want. I want it straight across."
All this to say, the trim took like 1/2 hour. Because I refused to just sit there and keep quiet. After she had trimmed the back and sides she wanted to trim a bit more and I told that it was enough for the day. I actually had to stand up from the chair because she was telling me no, she wasn't through. It was really tough to argue with her I can understand why some just let the stylist do whatever, because they basically tell you how your hair will break off and the other stylist back it up. All I kept in mind was that, I didn't want to be in tears at home that night, while the stylist slept with out a worry.
I am very happy with the trim, but only because it was what *I* wanted---not what she wanted. Well I just wanted to get that off my chest...

 

[diamond_nh]

I'm glad to hear you stood up for yourself. You are right it is your hair and you are going to be the only one that has to live with it and deal with it. It is a shame how you pay someone for a service and they want to ignore the details of what you want so that they can do what they want. You would think it is their hair. I don't think I could deal with arguing every time I want a trim. Maybe you should tell her that you like your hair that particular way and if she can't do it or if there is going to be a struggle every trim, you will find someone else.

 

[hawaiianhoney]

Good for you girl!!

I wish I had your strength!

I have to admit that I would have just sat there and let her cut my past bra-strap length hair into a bob and cursed her when I got home as I tried to figure out how long it would take to grow my hair back out.

You rock!

 

[Peachtree]

I applaud

u

. Take control of ur hair care... If u tell her "no v" then she should respect that & if she doesn't, then that's a sure sign that it's time to look for another stylist

.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

That's good that you took control and got exactly what you wanted and not what she wanted. You go girl!

 

[Tee]

Good for you!

 

[kisz4tj]

Always a battle I tell ya......I'm glad you stood up for yourself (literally I guess

) Same thing happened to me the other day at the nail salon, the tech was going to put a wrap over a nail that had fungus still on it from the old wrap that I had just taken off. She kept saying it's okay it's okay (she didn't want to do the work), and I thought if I walk out of here paying $40 and I've got fungus on my nail I'm gonna be pissed at myself, soooooo... I fought for myself too.

I think what happens when we don't fight is we think "they" will think we're trouble makers or we don't want to hurt their feelings by disputing with them in their area of expertise. IMO. Good for you Henrilou

 

[henrilou]

You know that's exactly what it is; I don't want to cause a scene or have them think I am a trouble maker. And my stylist is pretty forceful. She really acts like I am disputing her expertise. It is so hard. My heart was pounding and I actually started to sweat. I really did NOT want her to cut anything more than *I* wanted. I think I will try another stylist. I got a rec. from someone, and I'll call this week.

 

[Islandgirl]

You go girl, it felt good to read your post and read that you finished your day at the salon with exactly what you wanted trimmed, not what they wanted CUT.

 

[Supergirl]

--very proud of you. Yes, it has been very hard for me in the past to speak up for myself. They do make it hard

But my *new* stylist (the one who says she can't count the # of times that a new customer has been afraid for her to trim b/c they've had such bad 'chopping-off' experiences) said that you can tell the customer what you think but you don't do anything they don't want you to do because you don't own them.

I think that was well said.

Again--very proud of you.

 

[dahllia]

Girl you go... My only question is do they cut your hair with an attitude after that

? Do feel awkward when you say what you have to say knowing that they are holding the scissors. Im afraid of stylists but I know Ill be needing a trim soon. Actually I need one now. I dont even want to admit how long its been since I had one

.

 

[pressncurl]

Way to go, Henrilou! Those stylists really can put on the pressure, but I'm glad you took charge--it is your head/hair after all, but sometimes I think we forget that when dealing with "the professionals."

 

[karezone]

I know those stylists need to learn that "No" means NO

 

[Nyambura]

Way to go, Henrilou!

Your hair care journey has served as an ongoing inspiration for me, ever since I first read it back when this was the multicultural section of the LongHairLovers board. I'm glad you stood your ground. I think Supergirl's stylist is one of the few who seems to have a solid grasp on "customer service." Good luck with the recommended stylist.

 

[Honi]

Good for you gurlie!

Friday I also went to a salon and too my guard/attitude with me too. That....and the spirit of Supergirl on my shoulder! I was gonna get my way no matter what she said. But she took the wind out of my sails because she said nothing more after I told her that I only wanted bangs and not to touch the rest of my hair because I was growing my hair out. After she washed my hair and put some strange dominican deep conditioner in called "Whale Sperm"

she said that I didn't need my hair cut in the front for the style I wanted and even made a positive comment about my hair and said that she liked the length. What a relief that was. I didn't wanna put my foot up her butt for not listening. I may go back to her after all.

 

[Chichi]

Scary. I like when they treat us like we know nothing about hair just because they are the stylists.

Still, you are brave for even allowing them to trim. I will be getting my retouch in two wweks and noone is going to trim my hair.

I have been over this episode so many times that I will be ready to break out the karate chop chop, if my stylists scissors comes within a four feet radius of my hair

.

Chichi

 

[ineedmoney]

henrilou- my hero

good job

 

[shelli4018]

Wow! I can't tell you how many times I've walked out of a salon with much shorter hair than I anticipated. Have you ever gone home after a salon visit and can't use any of your regular tools because your hair is too short?

I recently switched stylists. I'm going to a Puerto Rican woman near my house. She's careful not to cut too much off. If I say trim my ends that's what she does.

The lady I used to go to had long beautiful hair and a pleasant personality. I liked her. But my hair wasn't thriving. The layers she gave me made my hair appear thin and see through. Even when I asked for something different she refused since she liked the cut.

 

[love2praz]

I'm very proud of you too!! Way to stand up for yourself!!

 

[Compassion]

Good for you!! I had this same thing happen to me last weekend. I decided to try a new stylist. She told me that she needed to trim my ends EVERY six weeks, or else she could not "work with me." She stood behind me and turned me toward the mirror. She pulled some of my ends down in front of my face and said, "See...see how uneven some of them are?" Yea, but my ends were not split and do NOT need to be trimmed EVERY six weeks. I had just come out of the shampoo bowl, and she just stood there over me with the scissors in her hand..waiting for me to give her premission to cut my hair. She said that she could not proceed further, unless she cut my ends. She said, "I'm the stylist and I've been trained to know what I know...I trim all my client's every six weeks." Then she went on about my ends splitting up the hair shaft if I did not trim, and how my hair won't be able to grow from the root good with bad ends.

Then she tried to throw in some lingo about being able to feel my "heat band," so that she could sound like she really new what she was talking about because SHE was the trained one. I KNOW my ends are in good condition. My regular stylist (who never shows up, or shows up late)just checked them two weeks before. I won't be going back to her, it was like a fight trying to get her to do what I want. Shoot, I am the paying customer...I'm HER boss. ((BIG SIGH)) My search continues.

Blessings,
Compassion

 

[shelli4018]

[ QUOTE ]
Good for you!! I had this same thing happen to me last weekend. I decided to try a new stylist. She told me that she needed to trim my ends EVERY six weeks, or else she could not "work with me." She stood behind me and turned me toward the mirror. She pulled some of my ends down in front of my face and said, "See...see how uneven some of them are?" Yea, but my ends were not split and do NOT need to be trimmed EVERY six weeks. I had just come out of the shampoo bowl, and she just stood there over me with the scissors in her hand..waiting for me to give her premission to cut my hair. She said that she could not proceed further, unless she cut my ends. She said, "I'm the stylist and I've been trained to know what I know...I trim all my client's every six weeks." Then she went on about my ends splitting up the hair shaft if I did not trim, and how my hair won't be able to grow from the root good with bad ends.

Then she tried to throw in some lingo about being able to feel my "heat band," so that she could sound like she really new what she was talking about because SHE was the trained one. I KNOW my ends are in good condition. My regular stylist (who never shows up, or shows up late)just checked them two weeks before. I won't be going back to her, it was like a fight trying to get her to do what I want. Shoot, I am the paying customer...I'm HER boss. ((BIG SIGH)) My search continues.

Blessings,
Compassion



[/ QUOTE ]

I'd be afraid of that stylist! How do you use the same technique on all of your clients? Wouldn't her training allow he to see when someone doesn't need a trim?

Are these stylists just used to seeing women with messed up hair? I think many of them have no idea how to obtain and nurture HEALTHY hair. Oh, they can give you a fabulous hairstyle. But what about healthy hair?