Is This Tacky Or Nah?

S

sylver2

Well-Known Member
My SO is a groomsmen in a good friends wedding.
First off they have to pay $300 for their tuxedo rentals..wth?! and then he told my SO if he wanted to bring me he has to pay$80. Is that really happening now? Guests have to pay to come..even the significant others of ones in the wedding party?
 
curlicarib said:
That's pretty tacky.

If it were me, I'd probably have to decline to participate. How long have you and SO been together? Do you know the friend? Maybe it's because you and the groom don't really know each other?

Nah, I tried. That's still tacky.
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I know the groom. SO & I have been together over a year now but go back 18 years and i knew his friends from when we were a couple back then. he is disgusted and doesnt even want to be involved in the wedding now.
 
I usually take everything personally FIRST then regroup and rethink.

My FIRST thought is " why does this couple not want me at their wedding"... "Would they prefer I wasn't with their friend, so they're putting up a roadblock"

So now my rethink response "this tacky asse couple can't really afford this ridiculous wedding and is trying to put some of cost on their guest"

I bet they haven't asked anyone else to pay or if they have its the longest/closest of friends in the hopes they would help and understand, brah!!!

If you SO looks back on the 18yr friendship I'm sure their were signs of this action OR maybe it just started with the bride the to be in the picture.

Sorry for the long winded response but I'm a HUGE believer in etiquette and doing things "the right way" or not at all!
 
FriscoGirl said:
I usually take everything personally FIRST then regroup and rethink.

My FIRST thought is " why does this couple not want me at their wedding"... "Would they prefer I wasn't with their friend, so they're putting up a roadblock"

So now my rethink response "this tacky asse couple can't really afford this ridiculous wedding and is trying to put some of cost on their guest"

I bet they haven't asked anyone else to pay or if they have its the longest/closest of friends in the hopes they would help and understand, brah!!!

If you SO looks back on the 18yr friendship I'm sure their were signs of this action OR maybe it just started with the bride the to be in the picture.

Sorry for the long winded response but I'm a HUGE believer in etiquette and doing things "the right way" or not at all!
Click to expand...


i also was like um...if they cant afford to have the wedding they need to change the venue or something.
it has to be her. the grooms own brother is against him marrying her. im goin to see if others were asked to pay for their guests/spouse/so ..smh
 
FriscoGirl said:
I usually take everything personally FIRST then regroup and rethink.

My FIRST thought is " why does this couple not want me at their wedding"... "Would they prefer I wasn't with their friend, so they're putting up a roadblock"

So now my rethink response "this tacky asse couple can't really afford this ridiculous wedding and is trying to put some of cost on their guest"
Click to expand...

Your first thought was my only thought. But not really concerned about 'why', just the roadblock thing, because I would be a no show. Unless, they were upfront about needing financial help and perhaps were willing to forgo wedding gifts. Otherwise, I'm still not thinking tacky, but arrogant.
 
Those must be some sharp tuxedos. I'd sit this one out.
It is tacky to ask him to pay for your attendance, if their budget doesn't fit +1s they should just say that(no plus 1s).
 
i def know it has nothing to do with me personally lol. i dont even know her. and they asked others to pay for their plus 1s..smh
 
Someone tried to do that to my friend a few months ago. Asking them to pay for their own bridesmaids outfit -2 outfits, 2 shoes and specific jewellery which she sent them the link for and it wasn't cheap! they politely bowed out of being bridesmaids, turns out all the bridesmaids left with the exception of 1 smh. Do things according to your budget! dunno how hard that is

OP i'd say if your SO wants to sit out, he has valid reasons
 
Asking wanting you to pay is tacky. They should've just said no plus one....Like for my wedding there's no plus one unless married....But then again it's a good friend so you should be able to go. Yeah that's weird...
 
beauti said:
Asking wanting you to pay is tacky. They should've just said no plus one....Like for my wedding there's no plus one unless married....But then again it's a good friend so you should be able to go. Yeah that's weird...
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I think THIS is what they are trying to avoid doing. People get offended by that as well...but I agree, no plus ones unless married (except for special cases, or unless both bride & groom have a personal relationship with the +1). Especially for the wedding party. They likely won't have time to tend to their guests anyway since he will be busy with the groom. When I was engaged, my fiance was the best man in a wedding. I was invited (personal relationship with bride & groom), but I didn't go. I knew my fiance had other duties on that day that did not involve babysitting my introverted funny acting self. Though it sounds like you know other people so you wouldn't be alone.

I do think it's a bit in bad taste to make this request. But I don't think they can't afford the wedding they want, just that they can't afford to spend money on people whose presence makes no difference in their lives/event. It sounds like they are trying to give others the option to pay for those "extras."

Also, how do you know this? Is it because your BF told you? I ask because we gave some guys +1s to the wedding and even wedding events, and they opted to not bring them. One of the groomsmen's GF now thinks WE didn't invite her to the wedding because he decided he didn't want to bring her and only RSVPd for himself.
 
To be honest, if I'm trying to stay within my budget and one of the groomsman wanted to bring his girlfriend (who I don't know), the only way she would be attending is if he/she paid for her meal. If the groomsman chooses not to attend because of it, fine. If the girlfriend chooses not to attend because of it, that's fine too.
 
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DiamondDivyne said:

Also, how do you know this? Is it because your BF told you? I ask because we gave some guys +1s to the wedding and even wedding events, and they opted to not bring them. One of the groomsmen's GF now thinks WE didn't invite her to the wedding because he decided he didn't want to bring her and only RSVPd for himself.
Click to expand...

lol that was trife of them dudes. not my situation.
 
groom apologized to my so when he talked to him about it. my so been wanting me to go and didnt know about the money. they didnt even give invitations lol. then he told them all about the $80 at the fitting and then found out they had to pay $300 for the tuxes. he was like wth..no lol.
 
I think it's tacky not to give everyone in the wedding party a plus one. I do not think it's tacky to ask bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for their clothing as long as the pricing is reasonable. My girls are paying for their own bridesmaid dresses, but I made sure to choose dresses that were less than 250 bucks. A coworker was asked to spend nearly 600+ on a tuxedo jacket for his friend's wedding. I thought that was excessive and that should've been subsidized.
 
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