Is there something there, is he interested in me? or is it all in my mind?

[Opalsunset]

Hi ladies! It's been a while since I've been on this board, so it's really exciting to be back! <3

So, I have been talking to this cute black/dominican guy who works at my job. I'm 23 and he's 21. From the moment I met him, I was attracted to him, but I was involved in a complicated "relationship" which just ended recently. I first started noticing my co-worker, when he seemed to be extra "nice" to me - he would offer me food on our break, would be concerned about me during work, and tries to help when I would move anything heavy or cumbersome. Every chance - he would ask when would I be working again, and gladly tell me when he was scheduled, and how he hoped we would be able to work the same days. We would strike up a conversation, which I noticed he would randomly ask about my relationship and this guy in my life (who was white) Well, I left my phone out and I asked him to just keep an eye out for it while I was in another area of the store. My wallpaper was of me and the guy I used to see - That same night, my co-worker randomly goes "I feel like you would date a white guy, is he white?" when I said he was he got really defensive and goes "I knew it! Your a traitor! Girls like you are traitors, I just had a feeling! " blah blah blah. (Typical Sagittarius guy) Well, Im pretty sure he saw the picture, but in any case I explained how things were not going too well, and that besides him, I never even dated outside my race - So then he goes on to apologize, and tells me he feels bad for even bringing it up.

After a while, the topic of the guy in my life, and requests for more details (his name, where he lived,when was the last time I saw him, ect) would come up quite often, until we were officially, not together anymore - which then my co-worker assured me I would meet someone better, maybe even someone at our store or closer to where I live (Which he does in comparison to the other guy) . We started talking more these last two weeks, and literally would find the most random things to ask each other or talk about, simply to see each other during the day. He compliments me often, and as an outspoken Sagittarius man, who doesn't give our compliments often - I felt that was kind of huge. He told me I'm the nicest girl he's ever met, and i'm always happy - and he's never met anyone that was always as happy and cheerful as I am. He also, remembers anything and everything I tell him about myself - (and he definitely asks as many questions as he possibly can) He's even asked about my hair..Hmm.

I eventually got up the courage to ask him to attend a music event with me, and we are going for two days Saturday and Sunday - we are both taking days off - and I even asked for his number to text him the information. We texted back and forth a little after that, and the next time I saw him, he even brought up again how excited he was to go to this event with me. He eagerly gives me a tight hug at the end of the day, and when I arrive to work, our conversations always linger a bit longer than they should during work and I've caught him a few times even staring at me, and then would smile. Everything seemed to point to a mutual interest, except that he casually mentions during one of our brief conversations his girlfriend, which up until now I didn't realize existed. But I continued to talk to him, simply as a friend and co-worker, but it still all puzzles me, because he's barely mentioned much more about her than the two conversations we had recently. He also always seems so excited to see me - He started his shift the other day and I asked where he would be working, he told me where, and I commented that his particular shift would suck just because it is so isolated - He then smiles and goes "Well, i'll get to see you!" He also is still attending this event with me, and he just asked to add me to Facebook - last night we spent five hours chatting about everything from our families to our favorite foods - even though we had work today, and the last time I saw him - he hugged me real tight, and then touched my shoulder lightly, gave it a gentle squeeze while telling me to get home safely and he'll message me.

So this all brings me to the question, Is he into me, or just being friendly? Is it all in my mind? And what should I think since he doesn't really talk about his relationship (he's been listed to be in a relationship for about a month on Facebook, but that is all I know so far)

Any thoughts are appreciated!

 

[all_1_length]

I think he's into you/trying to get with you but the bolded parts of your post would indicate that he is not for you. In fact he sounds like trouble...RUN.

Hi ladies! It's been a while since I've been on this board, so it's really exciting to be back! <3

So, I have been talking to this cute black/dominican guy who works at my job. I'm 23 and he's 21. From the moment I met him, I was attracted to him, but I was involved in a complicated "relationship" which just ended recently. I first started noticing my co-worker, when he seemed to be extra "nice" to me - he would offer me food on our break, would be concerned about me during work, and tries to help when I would move anything heavy or cumbersome. Every chance - he would ask when would I be working again, and gladly tell me when he was scheduled, and how he hoped we would be able to work the same days. We would strike up a conversation, which I noticed he would randomly ask about my relationship and this guy in my life (who was white) Well, I left my phone out and I asked him to just keep an eye out for it while I was in another area of the store. My wallpaper was of me and the guy I used to see - That same night, my co-worker randomly goes "I feel like you would date a white guy, is he white?" when I said he was he got really defensive and goes "I knew it! Your a traitor! Girls like you are traitors, I just had a feeling! " blah blah blah.(Typical Sagittarius guy) Well, Im pretty sure he saw the picture, but in any case I explained how things were not going too well, and that besides him, I never even dated outside my race - So then he goes on to apologize, and tells me he feels bad for even bringing it up.

After a while, the topic of the guy in my life, and requests for more details (his name, where he lived,when was the last time I saw him, ect) would come up quite often, until we were officially, not together anymore - which then my co-worker assured me I would meet someone better, maybe even someone at our store or closer to where I live (Which he does in comparison to the other guy) . We started talking more these last two weeks, and literally would find the most random things to ask each other or talk about, simply to see each other during the day. He compliments me often, and as an outspoken Sagittarius man, who doesn't give our compliments often - I felt that was kind of huge. He told me I'm the nicest girl he's ever met, and i'm always happy - and he's never met anyone that was always as happy and cheerful as I am. He also, remembers anything and everything I tell him about myself - (and he definitely asks as many questions as he possibly can) He's even asked about my hair..Hmm.

I eventually got up the courage to ask him to attend a music event with me, and we are going for two days Saturday and Sunday - we are both taking days off - and I even asked for his number to text him the information. We texted back and forth a little after that, and the next time I saw him, he even brought up again how excited he was to go to this event with me. He eagerly gives me a tight hug at the end of the day, and when I arrive to work, our conversations always linger a bit longer than they should during work and I've caught him a few times even staring at me, and then would smile. Everything seemed to point to a mutual interest, except that he casually mentions during one of our brief conversations his girlfriend, which up until now I didn't realize existed. But I continued to talk to him, simply as a friend and co-worker, but it still all puzzles me, because he's barely mentioned much more about her than the two conversations we had recently. He also always seems so excited to see me - He started his shift the other day and I asked where he would be working, he told me where, and I commented that his particular shift would suck just because it is so isolated - He then smiles and goes "Well, i'll get to see you!" He also is still attending this event with me, and he just asked to add me to Facebook - last night we spent five hours chatting about everything from our families to our favorite foods - even though we had work today, and the last time I saw him - he hugged me real tight, and then touched my shoulder lightly, gave it a gentle squeeze while telling me to get home safely and he'll message me.

So this all brings me to the question, Is he into me, or just being friendly? Is it all in my mind? And what should I think since he doesn't really talk about his relationship (he's been listed to be in a relationship for about a month on Facebook, but that is all I know so far)

Any thoughts are appreciated!

 

[Bublin]

This guy has not once asked you out. YOU asked him out. He didn't ask for your number. YOU gave him yours. He has a girlfriend. He blasted you about your interracial relationship.

He is a player and is toying with you. If i were you i would revert back to your orginal working relationship and don't tell him any more of your business.

 

[PeaceFlow]

He wants some side action most probably.

I've known of seasoned cheaters who never talk about DW, or SO even though they have NO intention of leaving them.

I've also seen it occasionally the other way where guys are trying to set up another woman in waiting before they break up with an SO.

Either way he's not single so stop thinking about what his actions mean and significance of partner mentioning. Sounds like a complete player.

 

[firecracker]

He told you he had a girlfriend. That info right there should have made you pump yo damn brakes and jump off him. I know you are young but still you should know better than to get involved with someone that is taken. Hell neither one of ya'll should have been flirting with each other because you were both in situations.

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

To me it seems he may be toying with you.

Is he interested? Yes.

But the bigger question is...what exactly is he interested in?

He's doing the player shuffle if you ask me.

Giving you ALL the non-verbal cues that he wants something with you.
He eagerly gives me a tight hug at the end of the day, and when I arrive to work, our conversations always linger a bit longer than they should during work and I've caught him a few times even staring at me, and then would smile.

Compliments.
He told me I'm the nicest girl he's ever met, and i'm always happy - and he's never met anyone that was always as happy and cheerful as I am.

Cryptic Conversations
....except that he casually mentions during one of our brief conversations his girlfriend, which up until now I didn't realize existed. But I continued to talk to him, simply as a friend and co-worker, but it still all puzzles me, because he's barely mentioned much more about her than the two conversations we had recently. He started his shift the other day and I asked where he would be working, he told me where, and I commented that his particular shift would suck just because it is so isolated - He then smiles and goes "Well, i'll get to see you!"

Then there is the game:

"Acting" jealous
I knew it! Your a traitor! Girls like you are traitors, I just had a feeling! blah blah blah.

Dropping hints
...which then my co-worker assured me I would meet someone better, maybe even someone at our store or closer to where I live (Which he does in comparison to the other guy).

Basically, he's saying a lot, without saying anything. He's messing with your mind, sure sign is when you're so confused, you have to ask others.

Does he like me? When you should know better than anyone, because you interact with him.

Think about it, when someone in the past liked you, did you feel confused or insecure about it? Nope, you knew they liked you and you didn't have to second guess it. Any time you start feeling uneasy, confused, do yourself a favor and move on.

If you fall for it/him and give him what he wants, which is most likely - relations. He's going to pull the old " I never said you were my GF." or "You knew I had a GF in the beginning!" Trying to do the turn around , making it seem like it's ALL your fault.

This happened to my BFF at her job. After the guy was "done" with her. She was stuck working with him, he ignored her, and watched him move on to another co-worker..and he had a GF!

 

[hair_rehab]

Yeah, I was gonna say the fact that he is a coworker would be an automatic no for me. I've seen way more bad outcomes than good ones. But besides that he seems very sneaky. Having a gf doesnt really mean much to him, which could be the same way he would treat you if you wanted to take it to that level. I would distance myself from him.

 

[TrueToHair]

...........................

 

[Opalsunset]

Thanks so much ladies! You all are giving me so much food for thought. He always just seemed single to me - All the other guys at work talk about their girlfriends and they even come to visit them - But not him, so it took me off guard, and ever since then I was trying to figure out why he would leave such an important subject out of our conversation - I've even been trying to figure out how to ask him about his girlfriend, because I refuse to be like cutiepiebabygirl's friend, It's not in the stars for me to be "that girl". But overall, it all was me failing to be smart about the situation for sure... I just figured maybe I finally lost my mind and was taken this all out of proportion, and his interactions with me were all just friendly.

 

[Opalsunset]

Thanks so much, your right I was actually starting to wonder if Im just attracted to complicated relationships..and your right, I didn't like that question about my last relationship, but I know he has a weird sense of humor so I overlooked it at first, but then when I found out he had a girlfriend I was even more confused to why did he even care about those details of my personal life? Yeah, I definitely don't want to compromise my job over this..It's not worth it.

He has a girlfriend. Even if something were to happen between you, to put it crudely, you'd be the workplace jumpoff.

Other than that, just a few other pointers -




You just ended a complicated relationship. No need to jump right into another complicated one. A lot of 21 year old guys are still emotionally immature, and he sounds like one of them.




Stop making excuses for him. He asked you a loaded question and put you on the defensive about answering it. Why does he even care when, again, he has a girlfriend? Please.



He's sneaky as hell.....and he has a girlfriend. It doesn't matter whether he's into you. Sorry but even if they broke up, it sounds like that's just the way he is. There's no guarantee that he wouldn't do the same thing to you. Perhaps you are just accustomed to complicated relationships and think drama is necessary for the "butterflies," or you don't believe you deserve better. But you seem like a nice girl, and you do deserve better. If you're attractive enough that this guy is trying to put you on reserve, then you are attractive enough for a better guy to appreciate you wholeheartedly.

 

[Opalsunset]

Ah thank you, your so right about all the cues... Yeah the tight hugs kind of gave it away for me , but again I was just trying not to jump to conclusions either.

To me it seems he may be toying with you.

Is he interested? Yes.

But the bigger question is...what exactly is he interested in?

He's doing the player shuffle if you ask me.

Giving you ALL the non-verbal cues that he wants something with you.
He eagerly gives me a tight hug at the end of the day, and when I arrive to work, our conversations always linger a bit longer than they should during work and I've caught him a few times even staring at me, and then would smile.

Compliments.
He told me I'm the nicest girl he's ever met, and i'm always happy - and he's never met anyone that was always as happy and cheerful as I am.

Cryptic Conversations
....except that he casually mentions during one of our brief conversations his girlfriend, which up until now I didn't realize existed. But I continued to talk to him, simply as a friend and co-worker, but it still all puzzles me, because he's barely mentioned much more about her than the two conversations we had recently. He started his shift the other day and I asked where he would be working, he told me where, and I commented that his particular shift would suck just because it is so isolated - He then smiles and goes "Well, i'll get to see you!"

Then there is the game:

"Acting" jealous
I knew it! Your a traitor! Girls like you are traitors, I just had a feeling! blah blah blah.

Dropping hints
...which then my co-worker assured me I would meet someone better, maybe even someone at our store or closer to where I live (Which he does in comparison to the other guy).

Basically, he's saying a lot, without saying anything. He's messing with your mind, sure sign is when you're so confused, you have to ask others.

Does he like me? When you should know better than anyone, because you interact with him.

Think about it, when someone in the past liked you, did you feel confused or insecure about it? Nope, you knew they liked you and you didn't have to second guess it. Any time you start feeling uneasy, confused, do yourself a favor and move on.

If you fall for it/him and give him what he wants, which is most likely - relations. He's going to pull the old " I never said you were my GF." or "You knew I had a GF in the beginning!" Trying to do the turn around , making it seem like it's ALL your fault.

This happened to my BFF at her job. After the guy was "done" with her. She was stuck working with him, he ignored her, and watched him move on to another co-worker..and he had a GF!

 

[starfish79]

Beware the Dominican Trickery! LOL

 

[Opalsunset]

Beware the Dominican Trickery! LOL

Isn't this the truth!

 

[firecracker]

Thanks so much ladies! You all are giving me so much food for thought. He always just seemed single to me - All the other guys at work talk about their girlfriends and they even come to visit them - But not him, so it took me off guard, and ever since then I was trying to figure out why he would leave such an important subject out of our conversation - I've even been trying to figure out how to ask him about his girlfriend, because I refuse to be like cutiepiebabygirl's friend, It's not in the stars for me to be "that girl". But overall, it all was me failing to be smart about the situation for sure... I just figured maybe I finally lost my mind and was taken this all out of proportion, and his interactions with me were all just friendly.

To the bold now that sounds just like Jose/Joselina about Steebie on L&HH.