is there a deeper reason your obsessed with your hair??

L

L.Brown1114

Well-Known Member
one day i was in a deep mood because i just got though listening to my emo music :lol: and i told my mom aunt and guy friend that i was going natural in the car. of course they all said no and blah blah blah but its what i want to do. then my guy friend asked me is there a reason why you do so much to your hair? and i thought about it and i realized its the only thing in my life that i can control. ITS ALL MINE AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH IT. people can also do it with clothes but im a bigger girl who doesnt believe in fat hanging out and muffin tops so im even limited in that.

do you guys have a deeper meaning of why you are going through this hair journey??
 
I admit, I do like that my hair is my responsibility. Growing my hair out is a goal, and when I reach that goal I'll have a sense of achievement. Granted, not many people will care, lol, but I will! And that's all that matters. :)
 
EllePixie said:
I admit, I do like that my hair is my responsibility. Growing my hair out is a goal, and when I reach that goal I'll have a sense of achievement. Granted, not many people will care, lol, but I will! And that's all that matters. :)
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Same here. There really isnt a deep meaning to me and I feel in control of most things in my life. The thing is I set a goal and I plan to achieve it.:yep:
 
I just want to prove to myself I can have beautiful long hair without stepping foot in a salon. I can do everythin myself. Plus, haircare has become a fun hobby :)
 
I'm going natural, because for so long I thought my natural hair is kinky/ unmanageable and all the bad stuff. Not only is it a goal for me, but almost everyone in my family (mother cousins aunts) relax and the ones with long hair are APL or less which used to include me. I'm West African, and although we're so gifted on how braid/style hair wonderfully, I think we have the worst hair practices &hair knowledge of all times. So I want long natural hair to prove that our hair can grow and be manageable if we cut out all the bad stuff. If everything works well, in the near future I will open a business on proper black hair care in my country.
 
I think the obsession part of it is because it is the one thing in life that you can control. Anything else is in part dependent on the actions of others (who you can't control). At least that's what I've found.
 
I completely agree. Because there are various things in life I feel like I can't depend upon but I can always count on getting my 0.5" per month, and know that if I treat it well and give it my time and effort, I can maintain it.
Also, I feel like having long hair is something I've always wanted, and something I always viewed as beautiful, and something I wanted to make me feel more beautiful.
Being natural has definitely shot up my confidence as well, and I feel that in embracing who I am, I have really started to truly accept and love myself.
I am not saying my confidence is linked solely to my hair, but I would be lying if I said having nice hair wasn't on the list.
 
I am obsessed with my hair because I want to be more beautiful. My hair is a sign of my beauty and health...as well as my nails, skin, etc.
Alot of us women don't want to admit it but if we go even further than just the "It is something in my life I can control," or "I want to achieve a goal," we will see that our hair is a sign of health and beauty and we want to be healthier and prettier.
Now, I didnt say that to knock anyone because on the surface I have some of those same reasons but I've analyzed my reaction to people with thick, long hair. Her hair is beautiful and if I possess that I can have beauty too! Not to say I don't think I am beautiful I just want to enhance it.
 
This is a hobby for me. I do hair to relax but I'm not obsessed. I confess that in the past when I went through my hair obsession phase it was because I was avoiding other issues. It's much easier for some people to do another conditioning treatment than to say exercise, or work on relationships or other life concerns - jmho.
 
Growing out my relaxer started as just a quest for long hair. I kept going b/c I needed to prove to myself that I had the discipline to stick to something and see it through. I felt a sense of control and accomplishment.
 
Yay! LHCF back up!



I wouldn't call it an obsession, but I do have a deeper reason.

I do have my goals. I want my hair to be longer, stronger, and beautifully styled.

However, my reasoning is that I feel like my hair is a great representation of my how well I take care of myself. I am trying very hard to improve my appearance, and hair is a major part of that. I know that my appearance has majorly effected the quality of my relationships. I know that a man, for example, will first judge me based on how I look no matter how much I don't want him too. He can tell to a degree how much time and effort i put into appearing the way that I do. Right now he'll probably be thinking 'five minutes, max'.There is a part of me that is doing this for attention (or appreciation of my efforts). Even then, I am mainly doing this for myself and to help improve my confidence within myself.
 
I don't think I am obsessed but I am more aware because simply put...I FEEL CHEATED.

No one taught me how to care for my hair and when I became an adult all the stylist I went to never educated me about hair, beyond you need a trim.

For Thanksgiving I got some prairie cornrows in my hair from this young woman who shampooed in a salon I went to a couple of times. She told me she did not pass her cosmetology exam the first time but she was going to take it again.

When I took my bun down she said my hair smelled nice. She asked what it was and I told her she probably smelled coconut oil. She asked, why did I put it in my hair. :ohwell:

Well, I will let her braid but I will never let her do anything else to my hair. No one will care for my hair better than I am right now. I think I have figured my hair out and it only took me 37 years to do it.
 
if my cousin can maintain it and grow it down her backside.. soo can i >=)

..ijust wanna fit in with the rest of my real long haired non-chemical treated family :sad:
 
Well, YES but not much deeper than any other female--

To be more physically GORGEOUS!!!

If I want my man to be all of this and all of that, then I have to be something that his friends and colleagues would approve.

I know how it usually goes, and I'm not playing myself!
 
Tiye said:
This is a hobby for me. I do hair to relax but I'm not obsessed. I confess that in the past when I went through my hair obsession phase it was because I was avoiding other issues. It's much easier for some people to do another conditioning treatment than to say exercise, or work on relationships or other life concerns - jmho.
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------------------------------------

The word obsessed in this post means very attentive and nurturing.... she doesn't mean crazed.

:drunk:
 
I agree with the others about it being something I can control. I started coming to boards when I was in grad school, and there were so many other things in my life going on that I felt were spiraling out of my control, my mother moved to a different country, some issues with some loser guy I was dealing with, crazy professors, etc. So it became kinda therapeutic. Also, I'm willing to admit there was point in time a few years ago I wasn't feeling too hot about my appearance and thought longer hair would make me more attractive. However, that period was short lived, and I quickly got over those feelings/insecurities.

Nowadays, its really just more of a hobby/experiment. I'm not as obsessed about it as a was before, I just want to get a certain length just to prove to myself (and my family who doesn't believe our hair is capable of being long) that it can be done. I might even turn around and cut it all off once I get there, lol.
 
I just really want long hair, because I want to be more beautiful, and I've discovered that it takes a lot more effort than just not cutting you hair :/
 
I'm tired of people telling me what my hair can't do. My texture can and will grow long - I just never had the tools before. Now, with the help of LHCF, I can make it happen.
 
It's about beauty to me, as well as proving to myself and others that my hair (and black women's hair in general), can grow long. People always say "health over length," but to be honest I really want length and health is a means to achieve it.

There is no way in the world I that I would spend this much time, energy, and money if it wasn't that deep to me.
 
I was teased so much when I was younger because my hair was long, full and natural; I attended a predominately white school (which meant no real acceptance of diversity) and even the blacks there thought that having a relaxer was the only way to go.

People called me nappy (in a venomous way) on a daily basis so I thought something was wrong with my hair. Looking back now, my hair was (and still is) so beautiful. I really was like a mini Diana Ross with all of that big hair.

But that was the catalyst that prompted my research to "tame my hair".
 
I spend so much my time and energy on my hair because I actually find it theraputic... I actually look forward to wash day, especially when Ive planned an overnight pre poo, wash, DC, cowash and even more when a spacial treatment like a henna, bentonite clay or ayurveda is thrown in

also I love that having healthy natural hair has actually inspired other persons to go natural and/or to take better care of their hair whether its relaxed or natural

lastly it has shown persons who were totally against my going natural (like they had a say anyways LOLOLOL) that loose natural hair is beautiful. And I say loose natural hair because somehow persons are more comfortable with locs, two strand twists, cornrowed hair but get are put off by a huge afro, twist out etc ... like its just tooooo natural and needs to be tamed.

case in point

I got my biggest twist out after doing one on blown out hair I was sooo elated, Im walking out the house when my BFs sister walks by and does a double take. Then she says "U need to put a headband of that, it too big"

I was like, "thanks, thats the look I was going for"

 
My reasons:

According to my mom I use to have very very long hair as a child, then chemicals took it all away. I want to see how long I can grow it as an adult.

My face is round and short hair does nothing for me.

I am natural and I would like to see if being natural will add to my retaining length and having a healthier scalp and head of hair.

I would like to be an example for other black women that you don't have to be "mixed" to grow long hair :)
 
For me, it's a hobby- and I must admit that with anything that I do...I try to give my best...Plus, when I look at my pics as a child/teenager, it gives me more impetus to grow my hair.
 
MaxJones said:
Yay! LHCF back up!



I wouldn't call it an obsession, but I do have a deeper reason.

I do have my goals. I want my hair to be longer, stronger, and beautifully styled.

However, my reasoning is that I feel like my hair is a great representation of my how well I take care of myself. I am trying very hard to improve my appearance, and hair is a major part of that. I know that my appearance has majorly effected the quality of my relationships. I know that a man, for example, will first judge me based on how I look no matter how much I don't want him too. He can tell to a degree how much time and effort i put into appearing the way that I do. Right now he'll probably be thinking 'five minutes, max'.There is a part of me that is doing this for attention (or appreciation of my efforts). Even then, I am mainly doing this for myself and to help improve my confidence within myself.
Click to expand...

This is exactly me :(
 
I started taking care of my hair in '03 after realizing how silly it was to pay for expensive weaves when my own hair was ratchet.

I swore off weaves and began to really baby my hair. It grew & grew & grew & then I found LHCF because I thought APL would be terminal length for me.

I started to feel like a slave to relaxers around that time and REALLY wanted to see my natchal hair again after all these years...

If it hadn't been for this site, I would have never bc'ed, NEVER. I chopped at MBL and though I miss that silky hair, I'm so excited about my natural hair. I feel more beautiful than ever.

This whole thing has been a journey back to me.
 
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I just want long hair and I know that I need to take care of it so I have to learn to be self reliant. If that makes me obsessed then so be it.

Besides, I want to knock the notion that black women cannot grow their hair out of people's heads by growing mine :yep:
 
Not for me. I am not obsessed with my hair. I don't do much to it on a day-to-day basis. I do want long hair but I don't obsess about it or work hard for it. In fact, this whole week, I haven't really done a thing to my hair, except wash it when it was due to be washed. It's been under hats or scarves all week and now plastic. I only touched it to redo a couple of twists that unraveled during the wash otherwise...:ohwell:

Like some of the PPs, I don't feel that hair is the only thing I can control. I don't succumb to peer pressure or fashion or whatever it is OP feels she has no control over. OP, the fact that you find muffin tops ugly and so don't wear clothes that show them off to me shows that you're not a slave to fashion. You know what looks good on you. If on the other hand you actually love flab hanging out but the reason you don't let it hang is coz society will gag, THEN I could see you saying you had no control in what you wear coz you have to bend to what people want. So you may actually have more control than you think. I think those who wear clothes that don't suit them are the ones w/o control because it seems they depend on fashion magazines to tell them what's in trend and then helplessly seem like they have to be "in trend" whether the clothes fit right or not.

I think in time you will grow out of the stage you might be in where you only feel you only have control over just your hair. I think most people feel they must fit into a certain box set by society while younger, but in time, they snap out of the madness and start to feel comfortable in their own skin and unafraid to step out of the box and allow the real person to be seen in her/his own uniqueness and beauty.
 
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