is there a deeper reason your obsessed with your hair??

[davisbr88]

^^ I know this was directed to OP, but I just wanted to come in and say that that's not at all what I meant when I said I feel like getting my .5" is all I can depend upon and somehow control. I wear what I want, eat what I want, etc. But regardless of your choosing to do certain things, there are many things in life that just happen that you don't have control over. I didn't mean it in this superficial way, like I let society dictate what I wear, but life happens and lots of times, when it rains, it pours. During times like those, I know I can get a therapeutic DC or scalp massage in and discover new ways to make myself and my hair better because I know those are things I can control to a certain extent, and are things that make me feel better.
I don't think it's fair to say this just pertains to younger people. Everyone I know has their "thing" that is therapeutic to them, that they can always fall back on when things go crazy. That's what my hair is to me. And I don't think age has anything to do with that.
That's jmho.

 

[Nonie]

^^ I know this was directed to OP, but I just wanted to come in and say that that's not at all what I meant when I said I feel like getting my .5" is all I can depend upon and somehow control. I wear what I want, eat what I want, etc. But regardless of your choosing to do certain things, there are many things in life that just happen that you don't have control over. I didn't mean it in this superficial way, like I let society dictate what I wear, but life happens and lots of times, when it rains, it pours. During times like those, I know I can get a therapeutic DC or scalp massage in and discover new ways to make myself and my hair better because I know those are things I can control to a certain extent, and are things that make me feel better.
I don't think it's fair to say this just pertains to younger people. Everyone I know has their "thing" that is therapeutic to them, that they can always fall back on when things go crazy. That's what my hair is to me. And I don't think age has anything to do with that.
That's jmho.

I didn't mean to sound condescending when I mentioned young people, but I have heard it joked that people in their 80's and over don't give a damn what anyone thinks about anything they say or do. I worked in a nursing home and we used to joke about that among the employees and even the residents who were that age. So it's not really a diss at young people. I also say age has a lot to do with it, not just from that experience at the nursing home but I remember as a teen or even younger wanting so much to be accepted by my peers that I'd have done stuff out of character just to be cool and be in the in-group. As I got older, I stopped giving in to the madness, but I'd still get sad that if I didn't do X I was not included. In time, I was like pfft. So it's like I have seen the slow transformation in myself and I hear this statement all the time from others, so it's not just something I'm pulling out of my ***. I've lived at least 40 years so I think I do have a bit of authority on this topic and off the top of my head I just thought of one person in each of these groups 40's, 50s, 60's, 70'sand 80's who would agree with me. You'd be in denial if you didn't agree that age has something to do with it. You know very well when you were a kid you had less control over your life than you do now. And the reason people get frustrated trying to get their moms to change hair habits is "old people are set in their ways". It takes a feeling of being boss of your life to be "set in your ways" methinks.

I never said I have full control of life or that anyone does. I simply disagreed with the concept that "hair is the only thing one has control over" and even helped show OP that she actually has control over other things she may not realize. I think OP is obsessed with her hair because it's a fun hobby which is evolving and makes one want to do different things. Why is it her hair is the ONLY thing she has control over when she has a whole body that is all hers? Why can't she get a tattoo on her booty if she wants to? Why can't she pierce her navel if she wants? The fact that she hasn't pierced her nose (assuming that she hasn't) may be because she doesn't want to do it. She has control over that. The fact that she isn't dating that ugly dude who grinned at her and tried a tired old line on her shows she has control on who she allows to have her heart.

I dunno. Maybe I'm slow but I'm not sure I follow the "If it rains, it pours" line of your response w/r/t this argument. I mean if we're gonna talk about calamities that happen on earth as the things we cannot control, then that'd squash OP's point too coz alopecia has a way of robbing you of any control you thought you had over hair.

 

[davisbr88]

^^ Oh, I see! We aren’t even the arguing the same thing. I misunderstood what you were saying.
I personally don’t give two ****s what people think about me or my hair. I am “hair obsessed” because it’s something I have always wanted and something I thought was beautiful, regardless of what society says (ie. society views 00 as a beautiful size and while I can admit that many of them look beautiful in their couture, I’m not going out of my way to be a 00, even though I think it’s beautiful. I just included this to counter any argument that I only view long hair as beautiful because society says it is and that’s why I’m intent on getting it. This isn’t the case at all. It’s a personal goal and has nothing to do with anything or anyone else)
When I said “when it rains, it pours” I was saying that when disaster strikes elsewhere, I know that I can always get a sense of therapy from a DC or a scalp massage. So while things are happening all around me that I can’t control, I can take care of my hair, watch it flourish, and be proud of what I’ve accomplished. I obviously didn’t take alopecia into account – I meant disaster OUTSIDE of hair (that sounded weird… lol)
Anyway, I misunderstood what you were saying. I completely agree that younger people are more concerned about fitting in and being popular while you tend to grow out of that as you age. Like I said, I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, my hair, my clothes, etc. I find things I like and that’s what I wear or do, but 9 or 10 years ago, that wouldn’t have been the case at all! So, like I said, we’re not even arguing the same thing. I misunderstood because I thought you were saying that truly caring about your hair and putting in the effort and all was superficial and belittling it as something that you’d just grow out of. I hope you understand what I mean. Anyway, that’s why I was upset but now I see that we’re not even talking about the same thing.

 

[DrC]

Theres nothing deep about me wanting some big arss hair.

 

[divachyk]

1. Saves money and time by not going to the salon very every little thing.
2. It's a hobby and I enjoy it. It's fun when things are going right.
3. Rewarding seeing the fruits of your labor. (growth & retention)
4. Prior to LHCF, my hair maxed out around ~BSL with no effort, even with horrible hair care practices. I want to see how long I can really grow by using healthy hair technquies/practices.

 

[curlyninjagirl]

I've been totally obsessed with hair since my HHJ began in January of this year. Being obsessed with learning as much as I can about healthy hair care has helped me deal with a terrible loss.

(The more shallow part of it is that I've always wanted hair down to my butt!)

 

[L.Brown1114]

bump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

That's the first time I've heard going natural called an obsession.

 

[davisbr88]

^^ Who said being natural was an obsession?
OP asked about being obsessed about hair (I'm assuming growing longer and healthier hair) in general.

 

[motherpopcorn562]

I was obsessed with hair and hairstyles before I learned about doing my OWN hair. I would stay in the salon, go without eating, skimp on everything to keep my hair weaved or done LOL . That was sad. I don't do that anymore but overall its good to be able to do for yourself. Your body is a temple and you are in charge of it. Plus our hair does require a lot of care and its worth it because it shows

 

[nappystorm]

Attention and I don't think I'm pretty with short hair.

 

[Americka]

Attention and I don't think I'm pretty with short hair.

This... Plus I got tired of my mama saying that my puny ponytail made me look like Olive Oyl! erplexed

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

^^ Who said being natural was an obsession?
OP asked about being obsessed about hair (I'm assuming growing longer and healthier hair) in general.

The OP

i told my mom aunt and guy friend that i was going natural in the car. of course they all said no and blah blah blah but its what i want to do. then my guy friend asked me is there a reason why you do so much to your hair?

And it's in her title.

 

[davisbr88]

Oh, I didn't take it that way. I assumed she meant all the care that goes into taking care of hair. You can be natural and still not be obsessed with your hair or care for your hair. I didn't think they went hand in hand.
But I can see your point.

 

[Vashti]

Pride in my hair. Seeing it grow long which for me will be a nice accomplishment. Don't know whether that's deep or anything but there ya go.

 

[Afrobuttafly]

Probably because for 16 years I had no say so as to the care of my hair. And before I was old enough to spell relaxer, one was put in my hair. I finally discovered what natural hair really is in 2008 and decided it was time for me to be me..completely. I'm all about realness on the inside and I wanted the exterior to match. AND I got tired of my hair remaining the same length, the scalp burns and overall BLAHness of my hair. I love our culture as black ppl and I think our hair as it was meant to be, is beautiful though we've been told otherwise. I'm on a mission be healthier overall, but it began with my hair. I'm in it for the long haul..no turning back now.