"Is that your real hair?"

WhippedButterCreme

WhippedButterCreme

New Member
Hey ladies, Happy 2012! :yawn:

So...

As women of color, I know you all have either a) been asked if your hair is your real hair or b) wondered if some woman with beautiful long locks is rockin' her own hair.

Is it offensive if someone asks you if 'that's your hair?' :look: Or maybe it just depends on how someone asks you? (like pulls you aside, or just blurts it our before mixed company)

What do you ladies think? I'm going to try a hair weave sometime in February and I'm really excited because I know I'll get some serious growth there! :yawn:

But I'm also reluctant because even when I wore my real relaxed hair, people still asked 'is that all you?' Only this time I can't be like 'Oh yeah!? here, touch my scalp and see sucka!!' :lol:

So the floor's yours. What do you girls think? :yep:
 
i'm sick of hearing it. buttt, i acknowledge that i'm really lucky to have thick hair, and it's not the usual.

ever since i was a kid, people would touch, stick their hands in my scalp, pull, etc. or ask me what i'm mixed with or if my hair is real. and it's just like UGH STOP.
 
Yesterday when I was asked, I was flattered.

But once this girl came up to me, she was about 11 or 12. I was rocking WL box braids--think Janet in Poetic Justice. I was sitting with a group people (white people, to make it worse) chatting. And she very loudly asks, like, damn near yells, "IS THAT ALL YOUR HAIR?!" with this big toothy grin.

Needless to say I was irritated but I chalked it up to the curiosity of a child and I smiled and said "no, sweetie" very politely...at which point she said, "oh." *big toothy grin* *flounces away* Now all the white people looking at me like, :perplexed.

Had she been an adult I might have said some words. It was rude and I feel like she was old enough to have known better. Especially since she literally came out of nowhere. :ohwell:

Maybe I would have been flattered if it had have been my hair. *shrugs*
 
Yeah i get that especially when i straighten my hair..used to be flattered, but now i've thought about it, I'm kinda miffed that people assume that a black gyal can't have hair of her own :/
 
RocStar said:
Ummm...this again?

Happy New Year.
Click to expand...

Yup, this again. Totally relevant, especially since the majority of ladies here are starting to have flourishing, beautiful hair and people have asked/ ask/ and will ask this question again and again! :yep:

Woohoo! Happy years too ya too! :yawn:
 
I asked someone at a party this weekend. Her ponytail looked fab. She seemed flattered as she should be. She had beautiful hair.:yep:
 
WhippedButterCreme said:
Yup, this again. Totally relevant, especially since the majority of ladies here are starting to have flourishing, beautiful hair and people have asked/ ask/ and will ask this question again and again! :yep:

Woohoo! Happy years too ya too! :yawn:
Click to expand...

Yup and the answers will be the same again and again. :ohwell:
:deadhorse::deadhorse:
 
SkySurfer said:
Yeah i get that especially when i straighten my hair..used to be flattered, but now i've thought about it, I'm kinda miffed that people assume that a black gyal can't have hair of her own :/
Click to expand...

Yeah that's kind of my problem with it. It's assumed you can't have nice long hair if you're a sister. :ohwell:

But length isn't always a factor either. I've seen some sistas with thick, healthy shoulder length/chin length hair asked if it was their hair. Maybe it's just if your hair is slammin'? :lol:
 
The only time I get annoyed is when it's NOT my real hair. :lol: That's when I feel like I'm being forced to put my business on front street. When it is my hair, it's flattering...

Either way, I think it is a rude question to ask unless you are close to the person. What does it do for you to know if a stranger's hair is real or not. You're just being nosey...Just admire the beauty of it and let it be.
 
RocStar said:
Yup and the answers will be the same again and again. :ohwell:
:deadhorse::deadhorse:
Click to expand...

*shrugs* Newer posters equal different response sets though. Not to mention the people who haven't experienced this yet...

I'm sure you won't be posting in this thread 5 years from now, but Keshia who just hit WL, straightened for the first time, and got weave-checked might wanna weigh in.
 
I'm not shy about my hair weaves. I just took one out before Christmas. It was about 4 inches shorter than my actual hair.

When coworkers inquired about my "hair cut," I simply told them that it was a weave. I also told them that if I come in with hair down to the floor one day... that's a weave too :lol:


Sent from my iPhone.
 
HautePinkHeels said:
*shrugs* Newer posters equal different response sets though. Not to mention the people who haven't experienced this yet...

I'm sure you won't be posting in this thread 5 years from now, but Keshia who just hit WL, straightened for the first time, and got weave-checked might wanna weigh in.
Click to expand...

Exactly...Everything gets recycled on this forum. There are new members joining everyday. I wish people would realize that... You could really pull out the dead horse .gif for any topic.
 
Theresamonet said:
Exactly...Everything gets recycled on this forum. There are new members joining everyday. I wish people would realize that... You could really pull out the dead horse .gif for any topic.
Click to expand...

:yep:

I'm a perfect example. I've never posted in this thread on LHCF...as I only just subscribed a few days ago. And if it pops up again and again and becomes repetitive to me...I just won't respond. There'll be a newer member that'll take my place.

But anyways...carry on
 
HautePinkHeels said:
:yep:

I'm a perfect example. I've never posted in this thread on LHCF...as I only just subscribed a few days ago. And if it pops up again and again and becomes repetitive to me...I just won't respond. There'll be a newer member that'll take my place.

But anyways...carry on
Click to expand...

Thanks for the cosign between you and Theresamonet :yep: I was happy gettin' my 'dead horse' on just like Justin was happy gettin' his sexyback on. :lachen:

Anyhoo, Personally I've never seen this post, and yet I know it's one of our challenges, (triumphs maybe?)

Especially when after all the hard work you put into your hair growth and someone sees your hair blingin' and wonders if your hair is your hair. :yep:
 
I'm flattered when its my real hair. Midsummer I had just returned from the desert and I was wearing a rollerset, my cousin hadn't seen me in a year and the first thing out her mouth was "Is that all you?" I grinned and nonchalantly said "yeah". Now I'm in my late40s and I've noticed all of my cousins in age near me and older have very thinning hair, except me--so I'm doing something right. Also, I'm flattered when it not my real hair, it just means I blended everything just right.
 
My Friend said:
:lachen:

I'm normally ok with friends and family asking :yep: Unkown Becky's all up in my space may cause me to do to the matrix bend and snap, spit venom and give them a look that could kill.
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:lachen: Girl you have me rofl!! Yeah, friends and family I have no problem with because there's no malicious intent behind it, more like curious.

Whereas if someone asks with bad intention or just kills the atmosphere to ask, then they get the glare of death.

The matrix! That sounds like my answer, 'cept I'm do a slo mo back flip on 'em and finish with a ninja kick. :lachen:

We're crazy girl, that's all I know. :lachen:
 
I really like the way some of y'all are sticking up for da newbies! :yep:

I get asked if my hair is all mine at least once a week, usually by an older woman so I don't take offense. It's a compliment, IMO.

Sent from Topnotch1010's Samsung Galaxy Tablet using LHCF
 
It's happened to me a few times when my hair was shoulder length, but it was mainly because of the thickness at the time. I was flattered. When my hair grows back out and I REALLY have some hair, if someone asks I think I'll be flattered again. :yep:
 
It's not offensive to me. I love it. And if I'm wearing a weave and they ask, I let them know it's a weave. Makes me no nevermind.
 
HautePinkHeels said:
*shrugs* Newer posters equal different response sets though. Not to mention the people who haven't experienced this yet...

I'm sure you won't be posting in this thread 5 years from now, but Keshia who just hit WL, straightened for the first time, and got weave-checked might wanna weigh in.
Click to expand...

Nope the answers are always the same and many times the threads don't end well.
Trust me...this is only level 1. The next thread will be "Are you mixed?"
 
I'm glad some of you are sticking up for this thread. I personally am new and have never seen this post before, but I have had it happen to me so it's something that I am interested in discussing. IMO if you feel like it's redundant then don't read it or post in it. This is just a way to start something. :nono:There are lots of threads and posts to review. Read the ones that interest you, and leave everyone else to read or post as they see fit.
Anyway, I do get offended when asked this question and sometimes I am flattered. I think it depends on how the person is asking and who they are. If I can tell they're asking because they don't think black women can have nice hair then I am offended, if they ask because it's so beautiful they can't believe ANY one can have that nice of hair then I am flattered.
 
I never find it flattering, I find it annoying. The assumption behind the question is kind of offensive, but to each their own. My hair has never been long by LHCF standards, but it has always been thick and I have gotten that question before, even from white people. I had one white co-worker dip her hand into my (then relaxed) hair as she was asking and then proceed to say "Oh my God, it is so soft" :perplexed. I didn't find that flattering at all.

ETA: I had an older black lady ask me once in church, but my hair was natural and short. I was not offended by that because she asked in the nicest way possible. I guess it depends on who does the asking.
 
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JustGROWwithIt said:
, if they ask because it's so beautiful they can't believe ANY one can have that nice of hair then I am flattered.
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That's never the reason, it's because you're black and you have nice hair. End of story. :yep:

Ogoma said:
I never find it flattering, I find it annoying. The assumption behind the question is kind of offensive, but to each their own.

as she was asking and then proceed to say "Oh my God, it is so soft" :perplexed. I didn't find that flattering at all.
Click to expand...


It's not flattering to me. There is a white girl at my job who has really nice hair, even some of the other girls eye her and give her dirty looks. It's very thick and she has a lot of it. If you told me she had some sort of extensions in there, I would not be surprised at all. Has anyone asked her if her hair was real or raked their fingers through her scalp? Nope. I'm around my coworkers and the children I work with (I work at a school) enough to overhear comments and questions like these. As for me, I've been asked at least 10 times by the children while my coworkers lurch around trying to hear what the answer will be. I know my coworkers are wondering as well but none of them would be stupid enough to ask me. My hair is only a little past my shoulder. Trust me it's an insult. Well maybe more like a back handed compliment. You have nice hair, but you're black, so it can't be real.

And I agree w/ the person who said it's even more annoying when you are actually wearing fake hair.
 
RocStar said:
Nope the answers are always the same and many times the threads don't end well.
Trust me...this is only level 1. The next thread will be "Are you mixed?"
Click to expand...

Not to be rude, but I don't think you should have commented on the post if you've seen this topic so many times before. :ohwell: Some of us new things on the site haven't seen this topic and even those that have, like to share their experiences. :yep:

But now I'm going back to the topic at hand since that's why we're here. :yep:
 
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