"Is that your real hair?"

Beautytalk69 said:
@JasmineLatice GIRL after looking at your siggy..I didn't read a word you wrote..honest to God. I need to know your regimen..now! Are you natural, relaxed..what? Girl just spill it..please!
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Seriously, I always have to pause for a few seconds whenever I see her avi/sig in a thread.

JasmineLatice I know you must get stared down wherever you go. I'd stare the mess out of you with a single tear running down my face, shakin my head with the ugly face like they do in church when the preachin is good :lol:
 
Well, the hag who said it to me wasn't trying to be nice! First, she asked if it was all mine, then she wanted to know how far it fell on my back! This WM is the ONLY person who asked this when she first saw my bun!! Everyone else told me how good my hair looked!
 
Readyone said:
:yep::yep:

Which is why its mind boggling why people think someone asking them this is an insult.:perplexed People stay looking for haters.
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Really? Why do people do this? I need to understand the psychology behind it. If you are not offended, then fine. What is the point of trying to insinuate those of us that have been offended are just looking for haters? Where you in these situations with us??

I hate when people do this and we all know why they do crap like you have just done on this thread, but I'll leave it at that.
 
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Honestly, I have never been flattered by that question. I find it very annoying and insulting/rude. It is a pet peeve of mine.
I have thought the question of others but I would never dare to ask them the question.
 
I've had a white very outspoken and shady teacher who had been even suspended from the job (not fired) make a rude remark about my natural hair in front of other students who were black asking them if there hair was real in a sarcastic sense with the intention of embarrassment.

Then in another occasion two months ago he waited till I was in the caf line up said. "nice hair" then said lowly is it real, I didn't understand what he was saying I thought he was saying something was on my shirt and this time I had a sew in then he said it louder then I was just like no then he's tryna play like its surprising so everyone in the caf is staring at me. Then he's like what I had to ask im sure her hair was shorter last time I saw her and I mean besides how would I know what's under there she could be bald.

Then everyone is like oh sheet oh snap and Even our gay cafeteria dude was like "oh snap girl" and I'm just like ok... Really gtfo.

But this teacher is a bully and he's gonna get fired from his own doing soon so..


Sent from my iPod touch using LHCF
 
Hmm, in terms of your last question about protective styling I get the opposite.

When I wear weaves, wigs or half wigs people tend to assume its real:ohwell:. Even a lot of black people if they don't know me well. I pick very carefully, but I feel slightly dismayed that people don't tend to see the possibility.

If it's a synthetic and I can't get the shine off I might get a question and searching stares -_- But otherwise even though I'm dark and regular black I get a pass most times and have hardly been asked. This creates a more potentially embarrassing problem in that people compliment me as if its real, or ask for styling tips. Men constantly trying to run their hands through it, or ruffle it. Gah.
 
I've been asked if it was my hair for years both relaxed and natural. It doesn't bother me. I figure my hair must be looking kinda good for me to even be getting some attention.

I've never seen someone with 5 strands of hair get asked if it was a weave, so to me "Is that your real hair?" = You have beautiful hair.....IJS
 
AlwaysNatural said:
I've had a white very outspoken and shady teacher who had been even suspended from the job (not fired) make a rude remark about my natural hair in front of other students who were black asking them if there hair was real in a sarcastic sense with the intention of embarrassment.

Then in another occasion two months ago he waited till I was in the caf line up said. "nice hair" then said lowly is it real, I didn't understand what he was saying I thought he was saying something was on my shirt and this time I had a sew in then he said it louder then I was just like no then he's tryna play like its surprising so everyone in the caf is staring at me. Then he's like what I had to ask im sure her hair was shorter last time I saw her and I mean besides how would I know what's under there she could be bald.

Then everyone is like oh sheet oh snap and Even our gay cafeteria dude was like "oh snap girl" and I'm just like ok... Really gtfo.

But this teacher is a bully and he's gonna get fired from his own doing soon so..


Sent from my iPod touch using LHCF
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So unprofessional!! :nono:
 
With me it depends on the person's INTENT

Some people will ask me out of curiosity and to compliment my hair. To those people I smile and say yes. They will usually leave it at that.

Now the people that THINK they're putting me on the spot or asking in a group thinking that they're going to embarrass me... :nono: To those people (BTW those are usually WW) I say yes its my hair and then let them know that to its very rude to ask such a question, that maybe another black woman would slap the taste out of their mouth and might not be as nice as me. :lol:

Oh and the only other time I get annoyed is when my friend's ask me. My good friend will ask me if I have clips in my hair. Another friend told me last year that all this time she thought I was wearing a weave aahahaha Idiots! I can understand if I always wore weaves or clips, but I never did.
 
I can't wait to get asked this question. I will definitely take it as a compliment that I am doing something right.
 
Beautytalk69 Raspberry

Thanks guys :grin:

PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF THIS IS TOO LONG. I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I LITERALLY TELL YOU EVERYTHING I DID. LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ELSE.

I've been relaxer-free since February 2009. My hair was in pretty bad shape for the first 5-6 months because I didn't know how to deal with the two different textures. So I started getting sew-in weaves as a protective style in August 2009 and I literally kept getting them back-to-back until I had my son in Nov. 2010. I never did a big-chop because my stylist would gradually trim off the relaxed hair until it was gone.

I would usually keep the weaves in for 2 months at a time, but there was one time when I left it in for almost 3 months. I would shampoo/deep condition every 2 weeks and I'd lightly moisturize the braids underneath the weave about every other day.

For shampoo I used Joico moisture recovery shampoo, and for conditioners I would alternate between the Joico moisture recovery conditioner and the moisture recovery treatment balm. To "deep condition" I'd just put the conditioner on (the weave and the cornrows underneath) put a plastic grocery bag on my head :giggle: and sit under the dryer for like 15 minutes. I'd just blow dry and flat iron the weave after that. For moisturizer I would use the SheScentIt moisture mist leave-in. I would rub coconut oil on my edges every now and then, but I was really consistent with that. Before I became pregnant I was taking GNC's " hair, skin, and nails" vitamins and switched to prenatal vitamins.

I had a set back at the end of 2010 because after I had the baby I started neglecting my hair and to make it worse, I went to a different stylist who caused me to have a little heat damage. I was really inconsistent with my regimen in 2011 and I would take longer breaks in between weaves and just shampoo and blowdry (and sometimes flat iron) my hair and throw it in a ponytail or bun. I got so lazy with my hair that I wouldn't even condition sometimes :blush:. All that inconsistency, along with the reckless blowdrying and flat ironing caused me another set back, and my siggy is the most recent trim. For 2012 I think I'm going to go back to my original regi. And even though I prefer to straighten my hair, I'm going to try more natural styles.

Omg, I know that was super long. I hope I made sense. Pm me for cliffs notes :lol:
 
I'm not offended if anyone asks if my hair is real. I answer honestly even when my hair was only three inches long. People are surprised when I say the hair is fake and surprised when I tell them my hair is real. C'est la vie.
 
Yes, I've been asked and I consider it a compliment. But it does bother me that other people of colour cannot seem to get that we can grow and maintain beautiful hair....and LONG. And that once it reaches a certain length it can only be fake.

Get your weave on. If someone asks if it's real just say, "no, I'm protecting my own hair right now" and keep it moving.
 
RocStar said:
oie_1915443AVFJcVvY2.gif
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Must be a pretty interesting repetitive topic. This is your third post. :look: Kinda seems like you're just trying to start an argument which will in turn cause this thread to spiral downhill and fulfill your "this won't end well" prophecy. *Kanye shrug* I'm just saying.

*continues reading other stories that I've never read before*

Once when I was younger (about 16 or 17) I quietly and politely asked this lady if her hair was hers and she reprimanded me about it. I said, "wow, your hair is really nice! Is it all yours?" She got all offended and told me I was rude. In my mind I was just like, :look: sorry for complimenting your hair.

I think like everyone else has said, a lot of it depends on how it's asked or who you're asking. I'm sure if I was one of her bosom buddies she would have gave a hearty laugh and said "nah girl, this is just some Milky Way Que." Or maybe if it had've been hers she would have been flattered.
 
RocStar said:
Nope the answers are always the same and many times the threads don't end well.
Trust me...this is only level 1. The next thread will be "Are you mixed?"
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With all do respect what hasn't been asked a million times on this board? If you're tired and bored with a topic, then don't read or comment on it.
 
WhippedButterCreme said:
Hey ladies, Happy 2012! :yawn:

So...

As women of color, I know you all have either a) been asked if your hair is your real hair or b) wondered if some woman with beautiful long locks is rockin' her own hair.

Is it offensive if someone asks you if 'that's your hair?' :look: Or maybe it just depends on how someone asks you? (like pulls you aside, or just blurts it our before mixed company)

What do you ladies think? I'm going to try a hair weave sometime in February and I'm really excited because I know I'll get some serious growth there! :yawn:

But I'm also reluctant because even when I wore my real relaxed hair, people still asked 'is that all you?' Only this time I can't be like 'Oh yeah!? here, touch my scalp and see sucka!!' :lol:

So the floor's yours. What do you girls think? :yep:
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:drunk::drunk::drunk:

LOL.. Love this post.... I think it is always relevant.... since we are growing healthy locs......

I am freaked out when white people who feel comfy enough to ask me about my hair...

Sigh...

But most of my Homies know that I will slap a ponytail on in a Minute! I wear puffs because I refuse to detangle my hair for hours......

So - I don't really care. Most times... people have no idea if it is "mine" or not... and I really don't care.

complete ignoramuses may ask - but not often.....:yep: They all know I have taken 14 years out of my life to grow my own locs....
 
HautePinkHeels said:
*shrugs* Newer posters equal different response sets though. Not to mention the people who haven't experienced this yet...

I'm sure you won't be posting in this thread 5 years from now, but Keshia who just hit WL, straightened for the first time, and got weave-checked might wanna weigh in.
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:look::yep::yep::yep::yep:
 
Theresamonet said:
Exactly...Everything gets recycled on this forum. There are new members joining everyday. I wish people would realize that... You could really pull out the dead horse .gif for any topic.
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If you are on this forum long enough..... you come to know that there is about a 2 to 3 year cycle........

Easy to see many of the same topics - only because so many are learning for the first time.

I first joined this forum in 2007.... But was on another forum starting in 2005 or 2006.....

After 6 years.... I have seen much of this over and over, and done it all..........And frankly - I don't post much....

But I hope that we can still support and help one another.....
 
yorkpatties said:
You NEVER know what is going to prompt someone to ask this though. It doesn't just have to be long, straight bouncy hair. I will never forge the first time I was asked the question as a teen, I was with a friend who was wearing clip in shirley temple curls, big, brown, bouncy really weavy looking curls. A bunch of girls approached us and asked her about her hair, she said it was a weave. The girls then looked at my hair and said it was a weave too! My hair didn't look like ish! It was in a french roll in the back and a few short, very real looking curls on the side. At this point I thought these chicks were out of their mind but they began examining my head. If my hair looked like a weave that day.......then we are ALL doing just fine. LOL :lachen:
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When my hair is curly I get asked if it's a curly wig or if it's a perm LOL
I can't win


Sent from my fancy iPhone using LHCF
 
the only time i have a problem with it is if there's touching involved. asking first could open up a nice conversation where we trade hair tips or something. but reaching in for a feel or yank (recently happened at a NYE party i went to) is just too much :nono:
 
HautePinkHeels said:
Must be a pretty interesting repetitive topic. This is your third post. :look: Kinda seems like you're just trying to start an argument which will in turn cause this thread to spiral downhill and fulfill your "this won't end well" prophecy. *Kanye shrug* I'm just saying.

*continues reading other stories that I've never read before*

Once when I was younger (about 16 or 17) I quietly and politely asked this lady if her hair was hers and she reprimanded me about it. I said, "wow, your hair is really nice! Is it all yours?" She got all offended and told me I was rude. In my mind I was just like, :look: sorry for complimenting your hair.

I think like everyone else has said, a lot of it depends on how it's asked or who you're asking. I'm sure if I was one of her bosom buddies she would have gave a hearty laugh and said "nah girl, this is just some Milky Way Que." Or maybe if it had've been hers she would have been flattered.
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I'm really elated for the support everyone here has shown for the thread especially in the face of such unnecessary negativity. :yawn:

I'm glad the thread is flourishing and it just proves how everyone is STILL getting the same darn question asked and how it is still important to all of us here :lol:

On another note, I can understand how some of us here are 'chill' enough that being asked isn't a big deal, and even more so how it can be perceived as a compliment. :yep:

But at the same time, I've had people of all races bluntly ask me if my hair was was real nastily and turn the conversation onto me. And you know when someone asks you in a way that's meant to be rude. :sad:
 
WhippedButterCreme said:
I'm really elated for the support everyone here has shown for the thread especially in the face of such unnecessary negativity. :yawn:

I'm glad the thread is flourishing and it just proves how everyone is STILL getting the same darn question asked and how it is still important to all of us here :lol:

On another note, I can understand how some of us here are 'chill' enough that being asked isn't a big deal, and even more so how it can be perceived as a compliment. :yep:

But at the same time, I've had people of all races bluntly ask me if my hair was was real nastily and turn the conversation onto me. And you know when someone asks you in a way that's meant to be rude. :sad:
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Yea... I don't even fool around with those people.. Like I said... Lots of people that know me.... know when I am wearing a pony tail - and whe I am not.... I don't wear weaves - so hopefully - they are aware of that. I notice weaves. Sadly - they look phony or too shiney to me... when I see someone... But - never ask questions.... I figure..... I don't really care.....

But if someone is rude - they may get a snappy comeback. They would not be prepared for the rude answer in return.....:look:
 
I wore a bun for almost a year and when I finally took it down and wore a braidout, my own Daddy asked if it was my real hair! :lachen: I don't mind when family or strangers ask and usually consider it a compliment. :look:
 
Qurlyqt said:
I wore a bun for almost a year and when I finally took it down and wore a braidout, my own Daddy asked if it was my real hair! :lachen: I don't mind when family or strangers ask and usually consider it a compliment. :look:
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My immediate fam gets the ultimate hair pass because I know whatever they say is keeping it 100 :lol: (...maybe 200 really :lachen:)

As my stylist told me, 'I'm doing your hair not only for you, but for your family too' :lol:

It took me a bit before I understood what she meant...but now it makes sense! :spinning:

If a weave I get can't fool my father and brother, who know jack diddly about black woman hair care business, (they wtfed when I told them once I got my hair bumped and they asked if i hurt my head :lachen:) then it's not gonna fool anyone. PERIOD! :lachen:
 
my hair isnt long but i usually get asked this question when my hair is curly because its crazy thick/dense...even my mom who sees my hair everyday asked if i had on a wig one time...i'm never offended when people ask...and when i do have on a wig or a weave and someone asks, i just tell them *shrugs*...its not that deep to me lol
 
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