Is enjoyable sex for women really a mental thing

Is sex for women, vs. men strictly a mental thing or physical

  • Yes, I need to be comfortable mentally, and in to who I'm with

    Votes: 106 33.3%

  • No, all I need is the hardware

    Votes: 13 4.1%

  • A combination of both yields the best fruit

    Votes: 199 62.6%
  • Total voters
    318
  • Poll closed .
MidBackCrisis said:
When I was with my first I barely got orgasms. I actually got my first orgasm by masturbating. Sex with my ex was lacking so much that after having sex with him I would masturbate, sometimes with him in the bed right next to me *shrugging my shoulders* Hey.. it is what it is and it was what it wasnt lol . Now as for this G spot thing.. I have never experienced it. Im still tryna find it lol
Click to expand...

i agree wit u:nono: it literally makes me so disgusted w/ him that i'd cry
 
MidBackCrisis said:
When I was with my first I barely got orgasms. I actually got my first orgasm by masturbating. Sex with my ex was lacking so much that after having sex with him I would masturbate, sometimes with him in the bed right next to me *shrugging my shoulders* Hey.. it is what it is and it was what it wasnt lol . Now as for this G spot thing.. I have never experienced it. Im still tryna find it lol
Click to expand...

My man found my G spot, OMG!!!!!!!

He has too much power now! :lachen:

I still cant do what he does nor really find it even though I know the area now:look:

makes me mad! :lol:
 
didirose said:
I can get different types based on where I am mentally and physically:

If I was having a light hearted day and I'm mentally happy. I let all thoughts drift into the good parts of the physical stimulation and the good time I've had and I end with the craziest uncontrollable laughing fit. Afterwards I just feel light, clearheaded and in a cuddling mood.

If I was having a sad/angry day then I really have to let all things go mentally and it becomes even more important that I concentrate on the physical stimulation, all while knowing that DH want to make it better. It usually takes more time but I've noticed these ending in uncontrollable crying and maybe a headache. I only want to curl up in the fetal position and go to sleep afterwards.

Then there's those little ones which is all about the physical stimulation. They're cute but not as physically shattering as the ones when I consider where I'm at mentally.

There ends my personal Dr. Ruth moment.:yawn:
Click to expand...
crying orgasms! this man is the first that it has happened to me with. The first time I was like wtf just happened????????
 
lipyt said:
I do this too. I also make up fantasies in my head. Some times I imagine that's we are in a public place or two actors making a"movie":grin: That way I feel like I can let all of my inhibitions go. I can be raw, raunchy cuz I'm just making a movie or I'm that kind of slutty girl who doesn't care and is down for whatever and that also helps me to let go of any hang ups I have with my body.
(i've never told my ex-SO this I wonder what he would think about that..)
Click to expand...

I do the scenarios sometimes too, not because I need but because it heightens it all!

This post and the one this post is quoting is really good advice, the women that can do this are free to go to the mountain top! :grin:

and once you get there, its very easy to keep going there without any effort!

The whole key is letting go of stupid mental blocks, thinking too much, and just enjoy and release!
 
patient1 said:
1) How many here saw Black Snake Moan? I'd like to have her problem for a few....

2) If you've never orgasmed, I'm gonna need you to pm me before you reach your 60's. Life is entirely too short NOT to experience that and if it doesn't happen like something out of a romance novel, so be it. Orgasm is a divine right.

We'll put you together a kit. You can use it alone or with your SO. Get close, like almost to the mountaintop, and tell him when to "join" in.

I'm very serious. I can't broadstroke women. It varies...it's individual. So the question is, whether or not it's mental for you and if so, HOW it's mental for you. For instance, do you need to get into your head (fantasy) or out of it (abandon distractions)?

p1
Click to expand...

I heard that!!!!!!!
 
it's mental with men too. PLEASE BELIEVE. they are VISUAL creatures, how can it not be mental?

it's mental for me too, the man doesn't even need to do anything... or he could be doing everything right but if i'm not into it... :nono:
 
yeah this is true girl

but then sometime their 'visual shyt' will have them f'n women that dont make no kinda mental sense at all ,and sometimes it dont make sense to OUR 'visual sense' either, or even common sense.......

:lachen:

u know wha I'm talkin about :yep:

ladylibra said:
it's mental with men too. PLEASE BELIEVE. they are VISUAL creatures, how can it not be mental?

it's mental for me too, the man doesn't even need to do anything... or he could be doing everything right but if i'm not into it... :nono:
Click to expand...
 
Irresistible said:
yeah this is true girl

but then sometime their 'visual shyt' will have them f'n women that dont make no kinda mental sense at all ,and sometimes it dont make sense to OUR 'visual sense' either, or even common sense.......

:lachen:

u know wha I'm talkin about :yep:
Click to expand...

sadly i DO know what you're talking about! :lachen:
 
I agree to both. I went out with this guy not to long ago and he has an amazing body. He lifts weights. Everything was hard and chiseled. I really did not plan on having sex with him and I didn't. We were in two heated situations. The first one I wanted to pull my clothes off:lachen:, but I didn't. The second one, I asked him what are we and he told me were friends:blush:. I was like da...I dried up quicker then the sahara desert:lachen:.
Friends...plz.:ohwell:
 
It's more mental than i ever thought. I've never had an orgasm with a guy i wasnt in a relationship with. Part of it is knowing yourself, and what pleases you, part of it is him knowing you and what works for you, and part of it is your mood. I have a really really really hard time letting go of external thoughts and staying in the moment, but when i do i'm wild as hell, haha. my bf has found my gspot and has been driving me absolutely insane with it.

BTW, it's hard to replicate gspot stimulation on yourself because your organs pull back into your body while laying down, making it more difficult for you to stimulate yourself at that angle. Apparently you can get to it easier in a squatting position, but i've never tried. The best way for you to stimulate it yourself is to buy a sex toy geared specifically toward gspot stimulation (with an angled tip).
 
mscolwhite said:
Tell your husband to spank you and call you bad girl . . . :look: It works.
Click to expand...

LOL I think that would make it worse because he is so corny. One time I asked him to hold onto my hair (when I was relaxed and had hair to hold on to:rolleyes:) and it was so random he just started snickering and we had to take a break lol. It's gotten better, but I think I may be pregnant now so lately I haven't really been feeling it. My stomach hurts or I have a headache.
 
Sui Topi said:
LOL I think that would make it worse because he is so corny. One time I asked him to hold onto my hair (when I was relaxed and had hair to hold on to:rolleyes:) and it was so random he just started snickering and we had to take a break lol. It's gotten better, but I think I may be pregnant now so lately I haven't really been feeling it. My stomach hurts or I have a headache.
Click to expand...

Wow congratulations if that is the case...Yippee....

Pulling the hair is funny.. I have had moments like that...
 
There have been guys I had no innate attraction to, but my lotus would start jumping all over the place... and I'd question my inner whore.

Then there were guys I found attractive, but didn't have deep chemistry or interest with, and all of a sudden my inner whore would scream "Do it! Do it!" and start trying to send signals.

Of course, I always had the guys with whom there was great chemistry and we were really attracted to one another, but I couldn't get aroused too deeply by them.

For prime animal sex, the lotus knows...and although I may or may not engage, I have no clue how the random sexual attractions occur on a deeper level when I am consciously not in favor of it! I just know she knows who she wants to purr for.

I just need to keep making sure that both minds meet to find an acceptable partner when it's time. LOL.
 
MidBackCrisis said:
When I was with my first I barely got orgasms. I actually got my first orgasm by masturbating. Sex with my ex was lacking so much that after having sex with him I would masturbate, sometimes with him in the bed right next to me *shrugging my shoulders* Hey.. it is what it is and it was what it wasnt lol . Now as for this G spot thing.. I have never experienced it. Im still tryna find it lol
Click to expand...


omg this is me!!! i felt kinda bad that i had to finish myself off, but o well. lol. whats a girl to do *shuggs shoulders*. im still waitin on the day i get a G-spot one.
 
It is all MENTAL for me. It's about where we are in the relationship and how I'm being treated. If I feel you don't make me feel good, I could care less if we never have sex! In fact I could care less if we touch in any way!

Weird...I know but that's how I operate!
 
So the world would be perfect if one man could work on the mental and had great hardware all of the time every time.
 
I voted that its a mental thing. Although now I think it's a combination. Lately it's been a mental problem in my bedroom. i have so many stresses and things going on that our sex is just not on point these days. i know that it is me and I am working on this.
 
cocoberry10 said:
Can I ask you ladies if your decision would be affected by a man that you were 100% NOT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO? Meaning, if you weren't physically into a guy, but you liked him, do you think that would make being intimate with him "more difficult" (this coming from a 100% not having sex person:lol:)
Click to expand...


I need to be physically attracted to give him my #

oh, and it's both mental and physical for me
 
I think it is, for the longest I couldn't squirt. I had to tell my SO to not move from that area and just concentrated hard on"coming", then it happened.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top