Is enjoyable sex for women really a mental thing

Is sex for women, vs. men strictly a mental thing or physical

  • Yes, I need to be comfortable mentally, and in to who I'm with

    Votes: 106 33.3%

  • No, all I need is the hardware

    Votes: 13 4.1%

  • A combination of both yields the best fruit

    Votes: 199 62.6%
  • Total voters
    318
  • Poll closed .
SophiaRose said:
Being able to let things go, would be firstly, forget about whatever may be on your mind, mentally, bills, kids, whatever. Tell yourself, that you have a solution to every problem, and each problem is solved. Instantly, your high (endorphins), should kick in.
Secondly, if you have some issues, abt your partner, ANY. Tell yourself, that he is the last gunslinger on earth, and that you are so very lucky, he's choosin you, the princess.
Talk stuff in your head, or to him, "baby, I know you love the pretty dd"s", cause even if they are less than perfect, saying it aloud, in the moment, melts doubts and fears.
Appreciate the things U like abt your man, for me it's his chest, his little bird legs, are a little less flattering. But I'll mentally tell myself something positive, abt those lil bird legs, like, they full of muscles, they work so hard for me and my family.
Turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
Then, BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Real talk, thats the business.
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Thanks girl! That's it!
 
I'd say it's a combo of both. But some people can put it down regardless. Wow did I really just type that? :look: I get the leg shaking too but it's more of an inkling of what's to come. Not it actually happening.
 
Sui Topi said:
Of course I know theres some physical thing to it because theres no way you can turn a blueberry into a plantain, but do you find this is true? I'm sure some of you read what I had posted about my post baby struggles in the bedroom. :rolleyes: lol last night I kinda just gave in mentally and it was the best its been in a loooooong time. My husband says thats because with men its a physical thing and women, a mental.
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Yes it is and I am very mental about it. You can turn the whole night into you not getting any if you F!#$!# up my mental! And mine is so mental to the point:

I've had a guy wait until I finished cleaning the whole house until I was ready to go. I just cannot get it on in a dirty house. Then I had to take a shower and get ready because I cannot get it on with a dirty body...LOL He was not happy...well for a little while anyway.

Ahh the memories...soo long ago.
 
Guess Im in the minority. All I need is the hardware!! I dont know even know where I am in my head when its about to go down :look:
 
Sex is a mental thing for everyone, male and female. Even people who are physically unable to have sex the usual way (from physical disablilities) can have the best sex because it's always in the head.

For women, sex can be more emotional than it is for some men.
 
100% mental. I am the sexual aggressor and when I am not I'm not having as much fun. I prefer men to let me dominate them sexually and for them to submit to me. You're not ucking me I'm ucking you basically. The type of men I'm into need to submit in the worst way. If a man, the type of man I desire, doesn't submit to me sexually he's useless.
 
1) How many here saw Black Snake Moan? I'd like to have her problem for a few....

2) If you've never orgasmed, I'm gonna need you to pm me before you reach your 60's. Life is entirely too short NOT to experience that and if it doesn't happen like something out of a romance novel, so be it. Orgasm is a divine right.

We'll put you together a kit. You can use it alone or with your SO. Get close, like almost to the mountaintop, and tell him when to "join" in.

I'm very serious. I can't broadstroke women. It varies...it's individual. So the question is, whether or not it's mental for you and if so, HOW it's mental for you. For instance, do you need to get into your head (fantasy) or out of it (abandon distractions)?

p1
 
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patient1 said:
2) If you've never orgasmed, I'm gonna need you to pm me before you reach your 60's. Life is entirely too short NOT to experience that and if it doesn't happen like something out of a romance novel, so be it. Orgasm is a divine right.
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It's not THAT good. More like a sneeze.
 
Taliah said:
100% mental. I am the sexual aggressor and when I am not I'm not having as much fun. I prefer men to let me dominate them sexually and for them to submit to me. You're not ucking me I'm ucking you basically. The type of men I'm into need to submit in the worst way. If a man, the type of man I desire, doesn't submit to me sexually he's useless.
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:blush:OK:blush:

I was somewhat like this in my twenties...:look: Control, baby....:lachen:

mental trumps physical for me....anyday...:yep:
 
caligirl said:
It's not THAT good. More like a sneeze.
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Ummm....really? I have to disagree! :blush:
They range through many stages, from the little sneeze to the earth shattering explosion. There are ways to work your way up to the explosion and that is mainly achieved mentally IMO :yep:
It's your birthright, alright! :D
 
FlowerHair said:
Ummm....really? I have to disagree! :blush:
They range through many stages, from the little sneeze to the earth shattering explosion. There are ways to work your way up to the explosion and that is mainly achieved mentally IMO :yep:
It's your birthright, alright! :D
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Agreed!!

patient1 said:
Are we talking about the same thing? :nono: Sneezes don't put my bizazz to sleep....

p1
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Absolutely...he little mini ones I've always had with previous partners only made me want more...afterwards I'd still be ready to do it again or do some errands

But when I get the earth shattering ones with my current SOs make my *** want to go the hell to sleep! It takes alot out of me, mentally and physically.......oooh so good :yep::grin:
 
Sui Topi said:
Of course I know theres some physical thing to it because theres no way you can turn a blueberry into a plantain, but do you find this is true? I'm sure some of you read what I had posted about my post baby struggles in the bedroom. :rolleyes: lol last night I kinda just gave in mentally and it was the best its been in a loooooong time. My husband says thats because with men its a physical thing and women, a mental.
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Tell your husband to spank you and call you bad girl . . . :look: It works.
 
I'ma keep it real and say for me NO it's not a mental thing. My body has a mind of its own and has no problem going there with a guy who knows what he's doing. My friends say that I'm a male when it comes to sex. All that concentrating and focusing and trying stuff is unnecessary for me. :rolleyes:
 
Can I ask you ladies if your decision would be affected by a man that you were 100% NOT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO? Meaning, if you weren't physically into a guy, but you liked him, do you think that would make being intimate with him "more difficult" (this coming from a 100% not having sex person:lol:)
 
just_DSP said:
It is a mental thing for women. I think because we are so adept at multitasking and holding many trains of thought simultaneously, we sometimes forget to be "in the moment." How can you feel romantic if you're thinking about what you didn't accomplish today or what you need to do tomorrow? My solution is to have a notepad next to the bed. I write down those nagging thoughts and free my mind up to focus on intimacy.
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Oh wow, that is some really good advice. Thank you, I'm going to try this someday.
 
cocoberry10 said:
Can I ask you ladies if your decision would be affected by a man that you were 100% NOT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO? Meaning, if you weren't physically into a guy, but you liked him, do you think that would make being intimate with him "more difficult" (this coming from a 100% not having sex person:lol:)
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It would be hard as hell! I doubt you can even get warm - let alone hot by someone you're not physically attracted to. I know I can't :lol:
 
just_DSP said:
It is a mental thing for women. I think because we are so adept at multitasking and holding many trains of thought simultaneously, we sometimes forget to be "in the moment." How can you feel romantic if you're thinking about what you didn't accomplish today or what you need to do tomorrow? My solution is to have a notepad next to the bed. I write down those nagging thoughts and free my mind up to focus on intimacy.
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I do the same thing too when I have a lot on my mind. It has a lot to do your mentality: I enjoy sex better when I feel sexy or sexier than usual, when I'm not mad at dh, and when the baby is asleep and there are no interruptions. Sometimes I don't care about either. It all depends. Sometimes, I am on a roll of doing so many things, that I don't want this to interrupt me...but he don't care...and then I be happy that he didn't...:lick:..lol
 
For me, it is a combination of both, mental and physical. I have to really like the person to have sex with them. It is so initmate and I have to physically like them also. I got my best orgasm for the second person, I was with, after I divorced my husband, because he did a lot of foreplay, which is very important for me.
 
When I was with my first I barely got orgasms. I actually got my first orgasm by masturbating. Sex with my ex was lacking so much that after having sex with him I would masturbate, sometimes with him in the bed right next to me *shrugging my shoulders* Hey.. it is what it is and it was what it wasnt lol . Now as for this G spot thing.. I have never experienced it. Im still tryna find it lol
 
I can get different types based on where I am mentally and physically:

If I was having a light hearted day and I'm mentally happy. I let all thoughts drift into the good parts of the physical stimulation and the good time I've had and I end with the craziest uncontrollable laughing fit. Afterwards I just feel light, clearheaded and in a cuddling mood.

If I was having a sad/angry day then I really have to let all things go mentally and it becomes even more important that I concentrate on the physical stimulation, all while knowing that DH want to make it better. It usually takes more time but I've noticed these ending in uncontrollable crying and maybe a headache. I only want to curl up in the fetal position and go to sleep afterwards.

Then there's those little ones which is all about the physical stimulation. They're cute but not as physically shattering as the ones when I consider where I'm at mentally.

There ends my personal Dr. Ruth moment.:yawn:
 
A combination of both is ideal for me. ;) I will say this, though, I’ve had enjoyable experiences with men whom I wasn’t in love with, but were "knowledgeable". I don’t care how much I love a man, he could only take me so far with limited skill. :nono: (I’m trying to be tactful, but I think you all know what I’m getting at).
 
amerikan said:
I'ma keep it real and say for me NO it's not a mental thing. My body has a mind of its own and has no problem going there with a guy who knows what he's doing. My friends say that I'm a male when it comes to sex. All that concentrating and focusing and trying stuff is unnecessary for me. :rolleyes:
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:amen: to THAT :yep:
 
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