Is enjoyable sex for women really a mental thing

Is sex for women, vs. men strictly a mental thing or physical

  • Yes, I need to be comfortable mentally, and in to who I'm with

    Votes: 106 33.3%

  • No, all I need is the hardware

    Votes: 13 4.1%

  • A combination of both yields the best fruit

    Votes: 199 62.6%
  • Total voters
    318
  • Poll closed .
Sui Topi

Sui Topi

New Member
Of course I know theres some physical thing to it because theres no way you can turn a blueberry into a plantain, but do you find this is true? I'm sure some of you read what I had posted about my post baby struggles in the bedroom. :rolleyes: lol last night I kinda just gave in mentally and it was the best its been in a loooooong time. My husband says thats because with men its a physical thing and women, a mental.
 
Your husband is 100% right.

I know its mentally for me, especially since I can make myself "go" just by thinking about my SO and sex.

A LOT of women dont orgasm, because they dont understand this.
 
It is a mental thing for women. I think because we are so adept at multitasking and holding many trains of thought simultaneously, we sometimes forget to be "in the moment." How can you feel romantic if you're thinking about what you didn't accomplish today or what you need to do tomorrow? My solution is to have a notepad next to the bed. I write down those nagging thoughts and free my mind up to focus on intimacy.
 
For me it's 100% mental.
To the point where sex/penetration is actually impossible to perform physically if my mind/soul is not in it!
 
It mental for me also. If I'm thinking about the wash or the dishes sex is not that enjoyable. But if DH works on getting my mind there and keeping me happy, the sex is great for he both of us.
 
When I felt myself drifting off, I found it really helpful to concentrate on my muscle to try and really feel what he was doing to me


Dlewis wheeeeeere did you find that siggy omg

edit: Oh I see the link...lol thats slackness!
 
For me it is 100% mental and i have be really into that person to be able to enjoy sex.
 
I think it's a combination of both... but with women... there is a very strong mental component. Especially when it comes to having the big "O". When you let yourself go mentally, the sex can absolutely earth shattering and mind blowing! :grin:
 
How do you let yourself go mentally? :perplexed I try but i don't know what I'm suppose to be letting go.
 
KissKiss said:
How do you let yourself go mentally? :perplexed I try but i don't know what I'm suppose to be letting go.
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BUMPING!!! I would love if someone puts this into words so I can better explain it and give advice to my girlfriends
 
tt8 said:
BUMPING!!! I would love if someone puts this into words so I can better explain it and give advice to my girlfriends
Click to expand...

Being able to let things go, would be firstly, forget about whatever may be on your mind, mentally, bills, kids, whatever. Tell yourself, that you have a solution to every problem, and each problem is solved. Instantly, your high (endorphins), should kick in.
Secondly, if you have some issues, abt your partner, ANY. Tell yourself, that he is the last gunslinger on earth, and that you are so very lucky, he's choosin you, the princess.
Talk stuff in your head, or to him, "baby, I know you love the pretty dd"s", cause even if they are less than perfect, saying it aloud, in the moment, melts doubts and fears.
Appreciate the things U like abt your man, for me it's his chest, his little bird legs, are a little less flattering. But I'll mentally tell myself something positive, abt those lil bird legs, like, they full of muscles, they work so hard for me and my family.
Turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
Then, BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Real talk, thats the business.
 
being able to let things go, would be firstly, forget about whatever may be on your mind, mentally, bills, kids, whatever. Tell yourself, that you have a solution to every problem, and each problem is solved. Instantly, your high (endorphins), should kick in.
Secondly, if you have some issues, abt your partner, ANY. Tell yourself, that he is the last gunslinger on earth, and that you are so very lucky, he's choosin you, the princess.
Talk stuff in your head, or to him, "baby, I know you love the pretty dd"s", cause even if they are less than perfect, saying it aloud, in the moment, melts doubts and fears.
Appreciate the things U like abt your man, for me it's his chest, his little bird legs, are a little less flattering. But I'll mentally tell myself something positive, abt those lil bird legs, like, they full of muscles, they work so hard for me and my family.
Turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
Then, BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Real talk, thats the business.
Click to expand...


For me its the shoulders and how I can see the muscles flex when hes on top of me lol.

Its true, I pretty much did this to get out of the post baby and lactating slum...
 
Well, I know I don't have a problem orgasming (I do it all the time when I'm alone:blush:), but I have never had one with a man. What's up with that!?
 
SophiaRose said:
Being able to let things go, would be firstly, forget about whatever may be on your mind, mentally, bills, kids, whatever. Tell yourself, that you have a solution to every problem, and each problem is solved. Instantly, your high (endorphins), should kick in.
Secondly, if you have some issues, abt your partner, ANY. Tell yourself, that he is the last gunslinger on earth, and that you are so very lucky, he's choosin you, the princess.
Talk stuff in your head, or to him, "baby, I know you love the pretty dd"s", cause even if they are less than perfect, saying it aloud, in the moment, melts doubts and fears.
Appreciate the things U like abt your man, for me it's his chest, his little bird legs, are a little less flattering. But I'll mentally tell myself something positive, abt those lil bird legs, like, they full of muscles, they work so hard for me and my family.
Turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
Then, BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Real talk, thats the business.
Click to expand...
I do this too. I also make up fantasies in my head. Some times I imagine that's we are in a public place or two actors making a"movie":grin: That way I feel like I can let all of my inhibitions go. I can be raw, raunchy cuz I'm just making a movie or I'm that kind of slutty girl who doesn't care and is down for whatever and that also helps me to let go of any hang ups I have with my body.
(i've never told my ex-SO this I wonder what he would think about that..)
 
aurora3140 said:
Well, I know I don't have a problem orgasming (I do it all the time when I'm alone:blush:), but I have never had one with a man. What's up with that!?
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It's very common you know, but it's a good thing because this is the step before having one with a man :yep:
Watch out, it's going to happen soon :)
 
KissKiss said:
How do you let yourself go mentally? :perplexed I try but i don't know what I'm suppose to be letting go.
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Letting yourself go mentally to me has to do with letting go of whatever issues you are dealing with in life and being in the moment. But the other thing that really helps is when you are really excited or close and your body tenses up, if at that point you can try to completely relax, it will happen... it's harder to get one when you are all tensed up (mentally or physically). Fantasizing helps sometimes too. And if you can get one alone, then you're already on your way.
 
In my case, I would have to say no. Although I've never had sex, if I'm touched or see something that "stimulates" me, my mind immediately goes there with out a second thought-it's like my mind follows whatever my body's cues are :lachen:. But I think about sex VERY often so some part of my brain is ready to go at a moments notice.
 
kblc06 said:
In my case, I would have to say no. Although I've never had sex, if I'm touched or see something that "stimulates" me, my mind immediately goes there with out a second thought-it's like my mind follows whatever my body's cues are :lachen:. But I think about sex VERY often so some part of my brain is ready to go at a moments notice.
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Yeah you can go there, but you need that mental to really ARRIVE. (that was corny, but you know what I mean)
 
TMA maybe....but i did tonight what some advised about really relaxing and all that and it DID feel kinda different... hmmm

**side note** ...isn't it alittle sad that i was thinking of THIS thread while i was "gettin it" ???!!!! :lachen:
 
aurora3140 said:
Well, I know I don't have a problem orgasming (I do it all the time when I'm alone:blush:), but I have never had one with a man. What's up with that!?
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Same here.. I get clitoral orgasms from self pleasure :grin:... but I've never gotten that earth shattering feeling that I hear people and my friend describe. She makes it sound like the best thing in the world, I'm jealous. I felt STRONGLY connected to my first love, and the s*x was GREAT, the best I've ever had, b/c I felt soo close to him, but I still didn't have a gspot orgasm. I'm assuming that's what people are referring to. I would try to free my mind and everything and it never happened between us, but the s*x was reallllllly good and passionate.
Also, when I have s*x, my legs start to shake and my SO and past SO's always mistaken this for me climaxing, which I let them believe. My leg will be shaking involutarily, but I don't feel any type of 'climax'... i'm confused :huh:. Who knows, maybe the next person I fall in love with I will be able to expereince a gspot orgasm.
 
OMG :blush: The bolded describes my situation to a T !!!!

I feel so frustrated about that; After one year of being active with my bf (my 1st love) i still didn't get there, although i love the closeness of being intimate :ohwell:


Britt said:
Same here.. I get clitoral orgasms from self pleasure :grin:... but I've never gotten that earth shattering feeling that I hear people and my friend describe. She makes it sound like the best thing in the world, I'm jealous. I felt STRONGLY connected to my first love, and the s*x was GREAT, the best I've ever had, b/c I felt soo close to him, but I still didn't have a gspot orgasm. I'm assuming that's what people are referring to. I would try to free my mind and everything and it never happened between us, but the s*x was reallllllly good and passionate.
Also, when I have s*x, my legs start to shake and my SO and past SO's always mistaken this for me climaxing, which I let them believe. My leg will be shaking involutarily, but I don't feel any type of 'climax'... i'm confused :huh:. Who knows, maybe the next person I fall in love with I will be able to expereince a gspot orgasm.
Click to expand...
 
It's half mental and half physical for me. I have to be comfortable with that person completely and we have to have good chemistry and conversation outside of the bedroom. Everything else just falls into place for me.
 
I voted both. If I'm thinking about the 8AM conference call I have the next day, nothing's happening even if he's hitting my spot just right.
 
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