Is Bad Credit A Deal Breaker?

[TinyBlu]

...so I had another GREAT conversation with my crew over the weekend and thought I would post here to get more input.

As a woman who went through some credit challenges in my younger years as a result of a lay off and living off credit cards until things turned around, I vowed NEVER to be in the paycheck-to-paycheck pool again and did the work to make that happen.

Though very comfortable salary wise, I live well below my means and have learned to be disciplined enough to use credit as a TOOL rather than a CRUTCH. Though not completely debt free yet, I have an ample emergency fund and pay cash for as much as I can.

Honestly, I would want to "mate up" with someone that shares these financial values... which most likely has contributed to my "singlehood" (though I'm good where I am. I would rather wait for the right person than settle for the wrong one).

I'm the type of chick that doesn't get excited when I see a guy pull up in a nice car or wearing an expensive suit. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "Can he really afford that lifestyle". I'm of the school of thought that a brother with a Honda and low debt could get my number WAY before someone with a Benz that is a paycheck away from bankruptcy. Sometimes a high salary doesn't equate to high equity. Sadly, the norm in African American culture is to spend frivolously on depreciating assets and not think about the future until it's too late.

Of course, I was crucified by my female counterparts (who have less-than-stellar credit themselves) who think that the good salary is enough when choosing a potential partner.

So... what say you? Would you date or get involved with someone who isn't financially responsible?

 

[FemmeFatale]

Nope. That’s not a partner that you can build with, he will drag you to the poorhouse with him.

 

[LivingInPeace]

Bad credit is a deal breaker. Poor management of finances is a deal breaker.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

So... what say you? Would you date or get involved with someone who isn't financially responsible?

Absolutely not. Maybe in my younger years but not now.

Eta: The thread title and post are asking two different yes/no questions.

 

[jerseyhaircare]

I'd say no. Before getting engaged, I found out my husband had crappy credit. Upon further evaluation, I realized it was due to not having any financial know how and told him if we are to be together, he needs to allow me to manage our finances. Now he's sitting pretty with credit score in the 800's and I have no regrets about my decision.

But to be honest, he had massive list of good points and the bad credit was the only real fault. If this is a random guy I met, I don't think I would have approached it the same way.

 

[shortycocoa]

...so I had another GREAT conversation with my crew over the weekend and thought I would post here to get more input.

As a woman who went through some credit challenges in my younger years as a result of a lay off and living off credit cards until things turned around, I vowed NEVER to be in the paycheck-to-paycheck pool again and did the work to make that happen.

Though very comfortable salary wise, I live well below my means and have learned to be disciplined enough to use credit as a TOOL rather than a CRUTCH. Though not completely debt free yet, I have an ample emergency fund and pay cash for as much as I can.

Honestly, I would want to "mate up" with someone that shares these financial values... which most likely has contributed to my "singlehood" (though I'm good where I am. I would rather wait for the right person than settle for the wrong one).

I'm the type of chick that doesn't get excited when I see a guy pull up in a nice car or wearing an expensive suit. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "Can he really afford that lifestyle". I'm of the school of thought that a brother with a Honda and low debt could get my number WAY before someone with a Benz that is a paycheck away from bankruptcy. Sometimes a high salary doesn't equate to high equity. Sadly, the norm in African American culture is to spend frivolously on depreciating assets and not think about the future until it's too late.

Of course, I was crucified by my female counterparts (who have less-than-stellar credit themselves) who think that the good salary is enough when choosing a potential partner.

So... what say you? Would you date or get involved with someone who isn't financially responsible?

You made some good points here. In the past, I have gotten involved with people that fit the description of what you said. Never again!!!!

 

[Crackers Phinn]

All bad credit is not created equal. If the dudes story makes sense for past bad credit and he's currently doing ok then I say give him a pass. Men in the middle of a credit crisis shouldn't be dating. Broke penii is supposed to be lonely penii.

There is no wrong time for a women to date tho. yeezy shrug #LifeAintFair

 

[C@ssandr@]

...so I had another GREAT conversation with my crew over the weekend and thought I would post here to get more input.

As a woman who went through some credit challenges in my younger years as a result of a lay off and living off credit cards until things turned around, I vowed NEVER to be in the paycheck-to-paycheck pool again and did the work to make that happen.

Though very comfortable salary wise, I live well below my means and have learned to be disciplined enough to use credit as a TOOL rather than a CRUTCH. Though not completely debt free yet, I have an ample emergency fund and pay cash for as much as I can.

Honestly, I would want to "mate up" with someone that shares these financial values... which most likely has contributed to my "singlehood" (though I'm good where I am. I would rather wait for the right person than settle for the wrong one).

I'm the type of chick that doesn't get excited when I see a guy pull up in a nice car or wearing an expensive suit. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "Can he really afford that lifestyle". I'm of the school of thought that a brother with a Honda and low debt could get my number WAY before someone with a Benz that is a paycheck away from bankruptcy. Sometimes a high salary doesn't equate to high equity. Sadly, the norm in African American culture is to spend frivolously on depreciating assets and not think about the future until it's too late.

Of course, I was crucified by my female counterparts (who have less-than-stellar credit themselves) who think that the good salary is enough when choosing a potential partner.

So... what say you? Would you date or get involved with someone who isn't financially responsible?

@ the question. Who would say yes??

I was ready to come in here and say "it depends" after reading the title.

To stay on topic. No, I would not date someone financially irresponsible

 

[shortycocoa]

Men in the middle of a credit crisis shouldn't be dating. Broke penii is supposed to be lonely penii.

There is no wrong time for a women to date tho. yeezy shrug #LifeAintFair

 

[BlueEra]

My credit is in the pits because of my student loans. I would hate for someone to decide not to date me because of that, but I guess it's a big thing for people. Outside of my loans, my financial situation isn't bad. I'm just not about to pay $235K in student loans when I only borrowed 1/4 of that. Oh well.

With that being said, I would prefer if my guy had decent credit. We can't both be in a bad situation.

 

[Lylddlebit]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[sarumoki]

My credit is in the pits because of my student loans. I would hate for someone to decide not to date me because of that, but I guess it's a big thing for people. Outside of my loans, my financial situation isn't bad. I'm just not about to pay $235K in student loans when I only borrowed 1/4 of that. Oh well.

With that being said, I would prefer if my guy had decent credit. We can't both be in a bad situation.

I think that student loans is something else entirely. Having a large amount of student loans would not be a dealbreaker to me as long as they are not delinquent and he's employed enough to be able to pay them. I myself have almost $100k in student loans and I would hate for someone to dismiss me simply because of that.

Something else like missed payments, maxed out cards, etc. is another thing. Those are absolute dealbreakers to me.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

It depends. I wouldn't fault someone who had bad credit because of medical expenses or taking care of a family member. I'd want more information on those situations if they apply but I wouldn't automatically put a man on the curb because he had a low score. Life happens to all of us.

 

[BlueEra]

I think that student loans is something else entirely. Having a large amount of student loans would not be a dealbreaker to me as long as they are not delinquent and he's employed enough to be able to pay them. I myself have almost $100k in student loans and I would hate for someone to dismiss me simply because of that.

Something else like missed payments, maxed out cards, etc. is another thing. Those are absolute dealbreakers to me.

Mine have been in default for over a year so there's no hope for me lol.

Outside of that, everything else gets paid on time. It does suck though because I've had some of my creditors give me a hard time (lowering limits, denying increase requests or upgrades, etc.) because of it. Oh well.

 

[biznesswmn]

Date, yes... Keeping my eyes wide open
What i see going forward would determine how far the relationship would go.

 

[Mai Tai]

Mine have been in default for over a year so there's no hope for me lol.

Outside of that, everything else gets paid on time. It does suck though because I've had some of my creditors give me a hard time (lowering limits, denying increase requests or upgrades, etc.) because of it. Oh well.

Please do not take this as a judgment (because I promise you that I'm not)...Are you not concerned with wage garnishments, accrued interest, a possible lawsuit, and creditors harassing you for the foreseeable future?

I mean I get it, 250K in loans is a lot but girl...the thought of creditors chasing me until I die gives me anxiety.

 

[BlueEra]

Please do not take this as a judgment (because I promise you that I'm not)...Are you not concerned with wage garnishments, accrued interest, a possible lawsuit, and creditors harassing you for the foreseeable future?

I mean I get it, 250K in loans is a lot but girl...the thought of creditors chasing me until I die gives me anxiety.

It's all good! I take no offense.

Nope, I'm not worried about it. I've been working with an attorney for a couple of years, and I purposely let my loans go into default and am prepared to try to settle in court or go through wage garnishment. That's honestly my best option at this point.

My loans are all private, so by law they cannot do anything without taking me to court, which is fine. I had anxiety over this for years, and it took me a long time to come to terms with it, so at this point, it doesn't bother me at all. I actually received a letter a few weeks ago offering to settle for a lump sum payment of $100K or three payments of $35K. I don't have either, so there's no point in stressing.

I'm saving to put down the biggest lump sum I can, and that's about all I can do and hope for the best. It's ridiculous that I even have $180K in interest alone, so even if I had the money to pay, I probably would've done this eventually. I know people who have been paying on student loans religiously for years and their balances have actually increased due to interest.

Had I known better at 18/19 when signing up for these loans, I would've chosen a different path. Unfortunately, I didn't, so I have to accept the consequences of it.

 

[awhyley]

I'm saving to put down the biggest lump sum I can, and that's about all I can do and hope for the best. It's ridiculous that I even have $180K in interest alone, so even if I had the money to pay, I probably would've done this eventually. I know people who have been paying on student loans religiously for years and their balances have actually increased due to interest.

OP, sorry to hear about your struggle with this, but I'm curious as to how is this possible?

 

[intellectualuva]

Depends on the guy or debt and how many children/if any he has.

Debt paid off or quickly paid down in under a year or so and no children is different from a guy with 2 kids and maybe has a tentative 5 year of paying off debt...if all goes well during that time.

In general, I will look at this at an individual basis in terms of dating. Marriage would be low probability without some financial counseling for both of us.

 

[NijaG]

@BlueEra

Can you negotiate the removal or substantial reduction of the interest, if u have a good sized down payment.

I remember my mom being able to do this a few years back with her student loan from decades ago. It had gone to collections and she was able to negotiate removal of majority of the interest.

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

I took a lot of time to repair my credit after leaving the military. I established myself, found a great job and was living the "American dream". I felt secure in my career field and was about to buy a house. My job let me go after ten years. Gave me a pittance of a severance and lo and behold who winds up pregnant. This lady right here. There was no way I could manage everything. My credit went out the window. After 2 years at my current job, I'm rebuilding. I did it before and I'm doing it now.

I could never look down on anyone for their credit. With that said( I'm not dating though). What kind of debt is it? Are you working on it and have a plan?

 

[FemmeFatale]

Having student loan debt doesn’t automatically equate to being financially irresponsible. Especially if they’re a high earner and have a solid plan to pay it down and are actively doing so.

I’m not asking for financial perfection (multi millions in assets) but financially irresponsible is no for me.

 

[movingforward13]

I think that student loans is something else entirely. Having a large amount of student loans would not be a dealbreaker to me as long as they are not delinquent and he's employed enough to be able to pay them. I myself have almost $100k in student loans and I would hate for someone to dismiss me simply because of that.

Something else like missed payments, maxed out cards, etc. is another thing. Those are absolute dealbreakers to me.

This.
My student loan are just under $100K but my credit is good. I make payments on time and utilize correctly. I would date someone in the same situation or putting forth effort to be in the same situation. But I am a HUGE financial literacy advocate and LOVE budgets, analyzing numbers and making financial plans.
I also follow Jay Cameron who gives the background on Black spending, starting with history from the civil war and how to change your mindset with money. He is located in DC and usually gives out free seminars that I attend.

 

[gimbap]

I know people who have been paying on student loans religiously for years and their balances have actually increased due to interest.

I didn't understand "capitalized interest" when I was 17/18, but I understand now When I think about how much I've paid in student loan payments vs. how much I still owe today vs. how much I actually borrowed, I can't believe the government sees nothing wrong with this

To answer the question, it would just depends on the circumstances but for the most part, since I have a good credit score (but not debt free) I would prefer someone with good credit as well

 

[Farida]

I didn't understand "capitalized interest" when I was 17/18, but I understand now When I think about how much I've paid in student loan payments vs. how much I still owe today vs. how much I actually borrowed, I can't believe the government sees nothing wrong with this

To answer the question, it would just depends on the circumstances but for the most part, since I have a good credit score (but not debt free) I would prefer someone with good credit as well

The government went after credit card companies who were using students to make money banking on their poor decision-making.

So it is very hypocritical that the same government turns around and lets someone study a degree with no prospects, borrow up to cost of living and charges 8.5% interest.

My law school loans were federal, unsubsidized at 8.5% My neighbor pays less on his mortgage than his student loans. And we live in CA!

 

[Farida]

Anyway, credit for me is a dealbreaker. I have a mortgage, have financed vehicles etc and would have been unable to do it with low scores or if my partner had low scores. When you are married in community property states there are so many things they have to run both of your numbers for.

 

[BlueEra]

OP, sorry to hear about your struggle with this, but I'm curious as to how is this possible?

A lot of people have loans that start accruing interest the very second they sign their name on the dotted line...coupled with high interest rates, it makes it almost impossible to pay down the principal. A lot of people are only able to pay on the interest or don't know that they aren't paying on the principal, which either causes the balance to remain stagnant or increase. It's criminal how high interest rates are on student loans.

@BlueEra

Can you negotiate the removal or substantial reduction of the interest, if u have a good sized down payment.

I remember my mom being able to do this a few years back with her student loan from decades ago. It had gone to collections and she was able to negotiate removal of majority of the interest.

Yes, I could have a shot at negotiating a settlement for less than what I borrowed, it's just about timing and having a sizable lump sum available.

 

[Mai Tai]

@BlueEra

Thank you so very much for your answer, transparency, and honesty.

 

[PretteePlease]

nope

if your money right i could give a huff about your credit.
cash is king & credit is fixable

a good man can have bad credit.

 

[Lady_NakoPenda]

The answer is going to be different depending on age group and the reason for the bad credit. By the time he reaches late 30's into the 40's excluding anything major happening like a medical issue, it would be a red flag for me. If he listened and followed my financial advice then I'd work with him but bad habits like paying bills late, collections, judgements and not changing is ugghhh. How can you trust him to handle money? (actual question not rhetorical).