There is something from each of you in this thread, that I agree with.
Each of you. ...
Good Discussion Ladies... very good.
May I be honest about something here? I'm speaking from my heart and from the hearts of Black women who have been dishonoured.
We can talk all day long about what's right in Christ Jesus... I think we all know this. And I agree with this, we must love no matter what colour.
However, as Black women 'as a whole', even those of us in a happy man/woman relationship, Black women as a whole have been given a raw deal. Among all of the 'civilized' / democratic / races - cultures, even those of us in the Lord... Black women are treated as the lessor.
I rejoice in seeing White men with Black women. I REJOICE in it! They treat us royally. They WANT to marry us and treat us right. Even the White men in the deepest South. This is from my personal experience and being a witness to other Black women who are in a relationship with a white man. White men love Black women and don't hide it. And for this cause, I encourage Black women to PLEASE be open to inter-racial relationships. PLEASE! Don't short-change yourself from being loved and being treated right. White men don't care if you're light brown or deeper brown; they don't care if you wear a weave, a wig or have short curly hair or long. They simply love Black women for who they are.
As for Black Men... I indeed give 'props' to the Black men who have stepped up to the plate and have treated Black women with all due honour and pure love and have not disparaged who she is. If you have a Black man who loves you and wants to marry you... go for it. Just be happy and most of all, be with God. Just don't limit yourself. Please don't be limited.
Far too long, Black women have been faithful to our culture and our race. We've given our 'all' and then some more to support the men of our Black heritage.
As for the 'word' Heritage, it should be honoured beyond the very semantics of its form. No matter to whom a Black man chooses to marry, he should STILL honour the very existence of Black women. Did he not come from the loving womb of one?
Men are supposed to be leaders and representatives of Jesus Christ. I'm speaking to the Black men who need to step up and apologize to the entire Black female race for their sins of abandonment towards her, towards Black women as a whole.
It doesn't matter that they may have fallen in love with someone outside of a Black female. It also doesn't matter if they are Pastors, Apostles, or whatever. When they stand upon that pulpit with their white wives and mixed children, they
still radiate the message that a Black woman did suit him; a Black woman was not his appeal, a Black woman wasn't up to his standards, a Black woman wasn't good enough, a Black woman was just that.... she's
Black!
There are even
'SOME' Black men who are married to Black women that make a big deal over those with 'the hair', the lighter skin, the red skin, other races such as the Latinas with the large derrieres, as the 'pretty' women.
Let me get something straight, before I continue. I'm not speaking from personal rejection. I have the hair, the lighter brown skin, the hips, the fullness in my top and bottom, I wasn't the one who was shunned. However, I saw what the cruelty did to my sister who didn't have the same features and she had a richer brown complexion. I have cousins and friends who were unjustly treated because of their 'features' fairing more to our African culture and not towards European or hispanic or Indian.
And it HURTS!
It HURTS! And there is nothing that anyone can say about being right with Jesus, to deny the existence of that hurt. We live in a cruel culture that was specifically geared towards making Black men and women feel as if they were the lessor of every human being upon this planet. And the women are the ones who have suffered the most from it. They've been the hardest 'kicked'... kicked to the ground and have had their hearts stomped upon; the dirt of the earth rubbed into their faces, as a thanks for all of the good they've done and for all of the love they've given to others.
No...
No...
I am not going to preach holiness to a woman whose heart has been torn to shreds and then used as 'compost' to enrich a Black man's choice of someone else whom he feels is better than she. No...
No
The women I've prayed with over the years have literally been gutted of their souls and the mortician has been the Black men who have deserted them. These men have a debt to pay and the debt is way past due.
Do I believe in God's healing and deliverance for these woman who've had their hearts torn apart? Indeed I do... and I
always will believe it. Do I give license for anyone to be bitter over the pain that's been thrust upon them? No, for bitterness hinders healing of one's heart and soul.
Look, I'm simply telling the truth. Black men don't get to turn their backs on the pain of Black women. No, they do not. No matter who they have chosen to marry, they still owe it to their culture and to God (especially if he's a Christian) to honour the lives of Black women and to present them as God's treasures. This IS the Black man's responsibility to honour his culture, his Black Heritage, His Legacy. If not, then what's to become of his children if he does not honour his Black Heritage? It only reproduces another line, another generation of insecurities and self-hatred and more wounded hearts. What if a Black man did the very same to his daughter, whose features did not turn out so 'white' from his
alliance with his white wife?
What I've noticed about most of the children who are of a mixed race is that they speak more of being 'other' than Black. They are 'mixed-proud'. They take great stock in their mixology.
Mixed girls/women are quick to say they are mixed, no matter how obvious it is in the natural. If she's an African American/Latina or AA/Dominican, AA/Asian, AA/White, they are quick to tell you that they are the other culture. They are literally saying, don't call me Black, I'm Latina, Asian, My mother was white, etc.
It's as if they see it as a curse to acknowledge their 'Black Heritage". And it doesn't help when Black men encourage this negative mindset by placing them over Black women.
My point is that, any Black woman who has looked upon an IR relationship with disapproval is not without cause. I'm not defending the bitterness, but I am defending them. They've been made to feel as an outcast and it is not their doing. It's what has been done to them and it's still being done even more so with these foolish Black men who give all their love, wealth and honour to someone other than them. Men like Tiger Woods, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Kobe Bryant... they made a statement by not marrying a Black woman and keeping the wealth in the Black communities.
I've been blessed to be loved by men of both cultures, yet I cannot and will not abandon my sisters whose hearts have been torn by men who should not have abandoned them.
Even the Bible speaks of what has been done...
Psalm 109:4-5
For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer. And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love.
Selah....
I'm confused as to why a dislike of something has to be turned into a detestable evil attitude/mindset.
..I just dont understand that. If you are happy, no need to make a "scene" about it...
