Interracial Christian Couples

Geez @Alicialynn86 and @Laela - are y'all with white/non-black men or something? :confused: I'm confused as to why a dislike of something has to be turned into a detestable evil attitude/mindset.


No I am not in a relationship at all. And I wasn't saying you are wicked, I was just trying to see what was the reasoning behind what you feel..And I said that if anyone did have a problem with it, they would need to examine their hearts as to why. It's a difference between preferring not to marry outside your race, and not accepting of the idea of anyone else who does.

That's all.
 
I understand what some are saying about the "gut reaction" some (especially black) women may have to IR couples...and this really only applies to BM/WW.

Socially in America WW were held up as the standard of beauty and a "prize" to be won. Black women were seen as sexualized creatures to be used, worked, but not valued. I wish I could say that we do not have traces of this school of thought today but...these attitudes have placed BWs "stock" at a lower "value" than WW.


Hence, the same way that it seems to be hard to break the (often unconcious) glorifying of "good hair" and light skin as the "automatic" pretty in African American culture...it is often hard for some BM to break through the belief that WW as a group are better to date than BW.

I totally believe that you should love who you love no matter the color. But I also believe that a lot of the Black men who date strictly outside their race, do it because of negative feelings towards black women. Now that does not mean that they cannot love their White wife completely and unconditionally...it just means that they set out the parameters of a search (white is right) and looked for love within them.

Another issue is the shortage of available, successful, marriage-minded black men. When the black ratio in college is 4:1 then when that 1 marries outside the race then it does have an impact on the social and economic advancement of African Americans as a culture.

Now...after having said all of that lol as Christians we would have to work that out within ourselves. Not automatically judging a persons motives. Now when men express that they agree with the above-mentioned school of thought (and I have had debates with black men about why dating WW is better) then it's on and poppin!
 
We as Christians have to be careful with these kinds of feelings. They are not Godly. If it's simply not your preference to date someone outside your race then OK. That's fine. But if it bothers you to see interracial couples, especially if the man is black there is an issue in the heart going on. People will deny that but its true. For those feelings to be in place there must be a lack of self love and a degree of bitterness going on in there. If anyone disagrees ask yourself if it would bother you to see an Asian man with a white woman. If that doesn't bother you then it shouldn't bother you for a black man to be with a white woman either. I have dealt with the emotions that cause those feelings. Plus my Bishop is black and married to a Spanish woman. It doesn't bother me. They both love God.
 
We as Christians have to be careful with these kinds of feelings. They are not Godly. If it's simply not your preference to date someone outside your race then OK. That's fine. But if it bothers you to see interracial couples, especially if the man is black there is an issue in the heart going on. People will deny that but its true. For those feelings to be in place there must be a lack of self love and a degree of bitterness going on in there. If anyone disagrees ask yourself if it would bother you to see an Asian man with a white woman. If that doesn't bother you then it shouldn't bother you for a black man to be with a white woman either. I have dealt with the emotions that cause those feelings. Plus my Bishop is black and married to a Spanish woman. It doesn't bother me. They both love God.


Because Thanks is not enough :yep:

My pastor is black and his wife is white, and its never been a issue for me. Love is love. Love sees no color...Souls have no color.
 
I have to add another thing I'm very passionate about. While I'm not crazy about The Message Bible in it's entirety there is one verse I live by. Ephesians 1:11 says "Its in Christ that you know who you are and what you are living for". See that sums of a lot of our problem right there. We are letting the worlds belief system dominate how we think of ourselves and relationships. Let God's Word and Christ in you define who you are and how you feel about yourself. See yourself the way God sees you, love yourself (and others) the way God loves you and those "dislikes " of seeing black men with other races of women will disappear. Get the mind of Christ and elevate beyond those things because being honest they are petty. They don't matter. OK, I'm leaving now....
 
There is something from each of you in this thread, that I agree with. Each of you. ... :yep: Good Discussion Ladies... very good. :up:

May I be honest about something here? I'm speaking from my heart and from the hearts of Black women who have been dishonoured.

We can talk all day long about what's right in Christ Jesus... I think we all know this. And I agree with this, we must love no matter what colour.

However, as Black women 'as a whole', even those of us in a happy man/woman relationship, Black women as a whole have been given a raw deal. Among all of the 'civilized' / democratic / races - cultures, even those of us in the Lord... Black women are treated as the lessor.

I rejoice in seeing White men with Black women. I REJOICE in it! They treat us royally. They WANT to marry us and treat us right. Even the White men in the deepest South. This is from my personal experience and being a witness to other Black women who are in a relationship with a white man. White men love Black women and don't hide it. And for this cause, I encourage Black women to PLEASE be open to inter-racial relationships. PLEASE! Don't short-change yourself from being loved and being treated right. White men don't care if you're light brown or deeper brown; they don't care if you wear a weave, a wig or have short curly hair or long. They simply love Black women for who they are.

As for Black Men... I indeed give 'props' to the Black men who have stepped up to the plate and have treated Black women with all due honour and pure love and have not disparaged who she is. If you have a Black man who loves you and wants to marry you... go for it. Just be happy and most of all, be with God. Just don't limit yourself. Please don't be limited.

Far too long, Black women have been faithful to our culture and our race. We've given our 'all' and then some more to support the men of our Black heritage.

As for the 'word' Heritage, it should be honoured beyond the very semantics of its form. No matter to whom a Black man chooses to marry, he should STILL honour the very existence of Black women. Did he not come from the loving womb of one?

Men are supposed to be leaders and representatives of Jesus Christ. I'm speaking to the Black men who need to step up and apologize to the entire Black female race for their sins of abandonment towards her, towards Black women as a whole.

It doesn't matter that they may have fallen in love with someone outside of a Black female. It also doesn't matter if they are Pastors, Apostles, or whatever. When they stand upon that pulpit with their white wives and mixed children, they still radiate the message that a Black woman did suit him; a Black woman was not his appeal, a Black woman wasn't up to his standards, a Black woman wasn't good enough, a Black woman was just that.... she's Black!

There are even 'SOME' Black men who are married to Black women that make a big deal over those with 'the hair', the lighter skin, the red skin, other races such as the Latinas with the large derrieres, as the 'pretty' women.

Let me get something straight, before I continue. I'm not speaking from personal rejection. I have the hair, the lighter brown skin, the hips, the fullness in my top and bottom, I wasn't the one who was shunned. However, I saw what the cruelty did to my sister who didn't have the same features and she had a richer brown complexion. I have cousins and friends who were unjustly treated because of their 'features' fairing more to our African culture and not towards European or hispanic or Indian.

And it HURTS! It HURTS! And there is nothing that anyone can say about being right with Jesus, to deny the existence of that hurt. We live in a cruel culture that was specifically geared towards making Black men and women feel as if they were the lessor of every human being upon this planet. And the women are the ones who have suffered the most from it. They've been the hardest 'kicked'... kicked to the ground and have had their hearts stomped upon; the dirt of the earth rubbed into their faces, as a thanks for all of the good they've done and for all of the love they've given to others.

No... :nono: No... :nono: I am not going to preach holiness to a woman whose heart has been torn to shreds and then used as 'compost' to enrich a Black man's choice of someone else whom he feels is better than she. No... :nono: No :nono:

The women I've prayed with over the years have literally been gutted of their souls and the mortician has been the Black men who have deserted them. These men have a debt to pay and the debt is way past due.

Do I believe in God's healing and deliverance for these woman who've had their hearts torn apart? Indeed I do... and I always will believe it. Do I give license for anyone to be bitter over the pain that's been thrust upon them? No, for bitterness hinders healing of one's heart and soul.

Look, I'm simply telling the truth. Black men don't get to turn their backs on the pain of Black women. No, they do not. No matter who they have chosen to marry, they still owe it to their culture and to God (especially if he's a Christian) to honour the lives of Black women and to present them as God's treasures. This IS the Black man's responsibility to honour his culture, his Black Heritage, His Legacy. If not, then what's to become of his children if he does not honour his Black Heritage? It only reproduces another line, another generation of insecurities and self-hatred and more wounded hearts. What if a Black man did the very same to his daughter, whose features did not turn out so 'white' from his alliance with his white wife?

What I've noticed about most of the children who are of a mixed race is that they speak more of being 'other' than Black. They are 'mixed-proud'. They take great stock in their mixology.

Mixed girls/women are quick to say they are mixed, no matter how obvious it is in the natural. If she's an African American/Latina or AA/Dominican, AA/Asian, AA/White, they are quick to tell you that they are the other culture. They are literally saying, don't call me Black, I'm Latina, Asian, My mother was white, etc.

It's as if they see it as a curse to acknowledge their 'Black Heritage". And it doesn't help when Black men encourage this negative mindset by placing them over Black women.

My point is that, any Black woman who has looked upon an IR relationship with disapproval is not without cause. I'm not defending the bitterness, but I am defending them. They've been made to feel as an outcast and it is not their doing. It's what has been done to them and it's still being done even more so with these foolish Black men who give all their love, wealth and honour to someone other than them. Men like Tiger Woods, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Kobe Bryant... they made a statement by not marrying a Black woman and keeping the wealth in the Black communities.

I've been blessed to be loved by men of both cultures, yet I cannot and will not abandon my sisters whose hearts have been torn by men who should not have abandoned them.

Even the Bible speaks of what has been done...

Psalm 109:4-5

For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer. And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love.

Selah....
 
I would say culture, social construct, and family upbringing as well as preference...not religious affiliation or inner attitudes. Hope that makes sense.

Sent via Android LHCF App


"Like" that's the problem. Prefer because one wishes to carry on legacy, that's a different story. I can't dislike somebody just because...I have to have a reason and if that reason doesn't line up morally with scripture, then I'm wrong, plain and simply. I'm trying to further explain and not trying to make a moral judgement...but I just can't fathom not liking just because...makes me nervous lol.
 
^^^ Yeah, what she said... there has to be a reason. Find the reason, find the root.... pluck it out!
 
Was trying to be humorous with the outdated scientific term, Shimmie.. lol.. he laughed too, but seriously, I shouldn't have to be married to a "non-black" person to not have a problem with IRs. My goodness..and Amein~


Don't talk about my brother. You have one of the best... indeed. :love3:

Tell 'Hubbie' I said... "Hey"... :yep:
 
Was trying to be humorous with the outdated scientific term, Shimmie.. lol.. he laughed too, but seriously, I shouldn't have to be married to a "non-black" person to not have a problem with IRs. My goodness..and Amein~

I know you were teasing, I was teasing right back. :Rose:

I agree that no one should have to marry outside of their race (non-black) to not have problem with IR's. But the knife is there... a jagged edge blade in the hearts of far too many Black women who have been abandoned by Black men who chose a WM instead of a Black woman... on purpose. The men have admitted this, time and again, they've admitted their choice was to have someone / something better.

Black woman do not deserve this. And it's no small wonder why a Black woman, saved or unsaved feels 'some kind of way' when she sees a Black man with a white woman....it's spits at her ----- 'rejection'.

If God brings a man of a different colour into a Black woman's life, I praise God for giving her what is long overdue... a man who is man enough to love her, cherish her, honour her, take care of her... all the days of their marriage...in Jesus' Name.

I love married couples... especially those of Black women with a man who loves her, for sure.

One of my closet friends married an Asian. They used to work for the same company. When he began showing an interest in her, she shared with him that it may be against company policy for them to date. This man literally went to their HR department to make sure that it was not against company policy to date/marry a co-worker. As of tomorrow, May 8, they been happily married for 5 years and 8 months. The love he feels for her is true.

I just feel so bad that we have men in our culture (and so many of them) who voice their hatred of Black women. It's so tragic. Thank God for the Black men who love who they are and love Black women and will never forsake them.

I'm blessed by these faithful Black men and true men they are, indeed. :yep:

I'm also thankful for the non-Black men who love 'us' as well. To them we are precious jewels and they treat us as such. :yep: God bless them and shame on the Black men who think otherwise about Black women.
 
Was trying to be humorous with the outdated scientific term, Shimmie.. lol.. he laughed too, but seriously, I shouldn't have to be married to a "non-black" person to not have a problem with IRs. My goodness..and Amein~

Laela

The reason why I asked if you were with a non-black man was only because most people that are in interracial relationships get really sensitive about this issue to the point where they will find every way to make people feel bad about not accepting or preferring interracial relationships. Not all people that dislike interracial relationships are totally disgusted by them.

As Shimmie pointed out, it's dislikable when you have some black men who choose to be with white women just because they feel or believe these white women are better than black women. That's what I would say the main reason for disliking interracial relationships.

I just kinda felt like this thread was trying to use the bible or Christian values against people who may not necessarily like interracial relationships. Just because you don't like some interracial relationships doesn't mean that you have a evil, hateful, detestable, heartless, non-Christlike attitude or mindset. Shoot, people are free with whoever they want to be with.
 
I know this is another topic...but I hate to get "caught" looking at people with obvious problems. I'm talking about those blacks (male/female) who are with their mixed kids and see somebody else of color and start propping themselves up to be seen. Anybody know what I mean? I truly don't care. But just last night, I was behind this man going into the library very slowly, so, in between double entrance, there were some kids bouncing around just in front of the other entrance door and then I saw their black mother. She doubled back, stared and stayed right there rather than removing the kids from the way and tried to get me to "acknowledge" her. I usually don't notice folks with much interest unless it's jewelry, or attraction etc. But this lady....SMH...it's like they are LOOKING for BW who will "hate" them. They are no better than these BM out here doing the same thing and voicing their disgust all over the place. It's just not right. My disgust is not at IR but at those who have such an issue with it on either side of that pendulum. It's just people. Shrugs.
 
I know exactly what you mean. I have seen it too. Like IR sometimes automatically get defensive about thier relationship before an oppostion is even made. But they do get alot of attacks, so I guess I can understand it. But like when you see a black man with a white woman, and he pulls her closer and tighter around when a black woman comes around :ohwell:..I just dont understand that. If you are happy, no need to make a "scene" about it...


I know this is another topic...but I hate to get "caught" looking at people with obvious problems. I'm talking about those blacks (male/female) who are with their mixed kids and see somebody else of color and start propping themselves up to be seen. Anybody know what I mean? I truly don't care. But just last night, I was behind this man going into the library very slowly, so, in between double entrance, there were some kids bouncing around just in front of the other entrance door and then I saw their black mother. She doubled back, stared and stayed right there rather than removing the kids from the way and tried to get me to "acknowledge" her. I usually don't notice folks with much interest unless it's jewelry, or attraction etc. But this lady....SMH...it's like they are LOOKING for BW who will "hate" them. They are no better than these BM out here doing the same thing and voicing their disgust all over the place. It's just not right. My disgust is not at IR but at those who have such an issue with it on either side of that pendulum. It's just people. Shrugs.
 
I know exactly what you mean...about efforts to go out of their way in public, and frankly, that's a sign of insecurity. I've also seen white women do this as well... once, one called out to her mixed children and it got my attention and I looked around..I didn't even notice them until she did that.. :lol: You're right..people are people


She doubled back, stared and stayed right there rather than removing the kids from the way and tried to get me to "acknowledge" her. I usually don't notice folks with much interest unless it's jewelry, or attraction etc. But this lady....SMH...it's like they are LOOKING for BW who will "hate" them. They are no better than these BM out here doing the same thing and voicing their disgust all over the place. .
 
OK well at this point, I'll let this rest, because if I'm coming off as sensitive or defending IRs when I'm not even in one, that says a lot about your perspective... :yep:


Laela

The reason why I asked if you were with a non-black man was only because most people that are in interracial relationships get really sensitive about this issue to the point where they will find every way to make people feel bad about not accepting or preferring interracial relationships. Not all people that dislike interracial relationships are totally disgusted by them.
 
I know exactly what you mean. I have seen it too. Like IR sometimes automatically get defensive about thier relationship before an oppostion is even made. But they do get alot of attacks, so I guess I can understand it. But like when you see a black man with a white woman, and he pulls her closer and tighter around when a black woman comes around :ohwell:..I just dont understand that. If you are happy, no need to make a "scene" about it...
I don't get that either, but I've seen the opposite happen... once the black man spots a black woman, he will walk slower than his white woman or not be as close to her as before. Why do that if you're supposedly comfortable being with this white woman? :ohwell:
 
OK well at this point, I'll let this rest, because if I'm coming off as sensitive or defending IRs when I'm not even in one, that says a lot about your perspective... :yep:

Laela
What does it say about my perspective since you know so much? That I'm ungodly and insecure like you said about people disliking IRs in your first post in your thread? Get out of here with that mess! People want to make like every thought and feeling is ungodly to cover up for their own personal sins that are clearly stated as sins in the Bible. I've stated my perspective... it's nothing more or less than what you think. Disliking interracial relationships is not ungodly if you are not hating those people.

:yep::yep::yep::yep::yep::yep::yep::yep::yep::yep:
 
OK well at this point, I'll let this rest, because if I'm coming off as sensitive or defending IRs when I'm not even in one, that says a lot about your perspective... :yep:

Truthfully Laela, the tone of your response to my first post caught me quite off guard. Not meant to be a "calling out" in any way, it's just that I think that some things have been read into the perspectives of those who don't feel the "kumbayaa"-ness of IR relationships; and I don't think reading such negativity into those posts is necessary.
 
If I may ask, what do people feel about interracional children from those unions? Do you feel any kind of tension towards them?


I know exactly what you mean...about efforts to go out of their way in public, and frankly, that's a sign of insecurity. I've also seen white women do this as well... once, one called out to her mixed children and it got my attention and I looked around..I didn't even notice them until she did that.. :lol: You're right..people are people

They never know who is multiracial and are charging folks who have no problem with other humanity. If we consider the source of man, what's to dislike? Everybody came from 2 parents, who had the life of G-d breathed into them, forming their bodies from the same earth we all walk on. If I also consider the migration of human throughout the world, we're all "mixed" and some of us more recently than the ancients.
 
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If I may ask, what do people feel about interracional children from those unions? Do you feel any kind of tension towards them?

I personally feel just fine about interracial children from interracial unions. I feel no tension towards them at all.
 
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