Interesting comment from an older white hairdresser

[Pennefeather]

Recently, I was speaking with a patient who is a hairdresser. We were making small talk. Because I have known this lady for years, I know that her daughter's husband is black and they have two biracial girls.

She was speaking of some elderly patients who's hair she had been doing for over fifty years. Then she said that it was such a shame a some people don't like their hair, and try to change it. Initially, she starting talking about drastic hair color changes - brunette to blonde, but went on to mention texture. According to her, many people with straight hair want curls, and those with curly hair want straight hair.

Then she said to me that black people were the worst offenders of all. So many of them don't like their texture.

The comment took me back for a moment. Almost as soon as she said this, she was called by the physician, so we didn't get to discuss this at all, but it did cause me to think.

I don't believe that she was being negative about black hair. I think that she saw it as unfortunate that more women didn't leave their hair natural. I thought that it was a interesting perspective. I know that she has never had any black clients because she has told me that in the past. Her grandkids live out of state, but she will trim and style their hair at times. Both of them have hair that is mid back.

Nice to know that she likes to see natural hair. Of course people choose to have relaxers, texturizers, and weaves for any variety of reasons. It is nice to be able to choose the way that you would like your hair to look.

 

[PureSilver]

There is an old saying in Jamaica that goes "wanty wanty caan get it, and Getty Getty nuh want it".

 

[sunnieb]

Meh. I love my texture and I relax it.

Why is a white woman concerned about my texture?

Sent from my SCH-I545 using LHCF

 

[bluenvy]

All ppl change the hair to achieve particular look. Of course we can get back original hair we're born with. To say black ppl are the worse? That's just ignorance. white ppl color, clip, extensions, and curly perm their hair just as much.

A lot of ppl assume long hair they see on white girl is automatically their real hair. But soon as they see black girl with long hair it's fake! Ppl make assumptions and know they right lol

 

[*CherryPie*]

Tell that lady, I said shut up.

 

[Whimsy]

There is an old saying in Jamaica that goes "wanty wanty caan get it, and Getty Getty nuh want it".

Mommy??! Is that you?!?!

 

[koolkittychick]

I'm surprised at the backlash on this thread! Why tell someone to shut up because of her observations? Truth be told, outside of this forum's community, the overwhelming majority of Black women start, and continue, altering their hair in some way from childhood, far more so than people of other races, so this lady's assessment is not far from the truth. Is the anger coming from the fact that the lady saying it is White? I don't get it.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

I'm surprised at the backlash on this thread! Why tell someone to shut up because of her observations? Truth be told, outside of this forum's community, the overwhelming majority of Black women start, and continue, altering their hair in some way from childhood, far more so than people of other races, so this lady's assessment is not far from the truth. Is the anger coming from the fact that the lady saying it is White? I don't get it.

...because thanks was not enough.

I wonder if anyone remembers when this board was mostly women with relaxers?

For the record, I care less about texture. Relaxed or natural. Just as along as it looks healthy is what matters.

 

[iLurk]

Ehh so what?

At the end of the day the next person opinions on why you do what you do shouldn't matter so yea she can have her opinion but idc and don't have to prove anything to anybody.

 

[Saludable84]

I don't find a problem with what she said because it's the truth. We even say it ourselves. As I read it, we want what we can't have. But with black people, we can have both, but don't appreciate our natural hair. Not that's we shouldn't be free to do what we want with it, but regardless of what we do not be ashamed or run from it. For a long time we have been and she's just saying we shouldn't.

 

[wannabelong]

She told no lies.

 

[reeko43]

I agree with the lady's observation. We are probably the only race that gives children chemical processes and weaves and at an early age. No reason to be angry or defensive about the truth.

 

[prettyinpurple]

I'm surprised at the backlash on this thread! Why tell someone to shut up because of her observations? Truth be told, outside of this forum's community, the overwhelming majority of Black women start, and continue, altering their hair in some way from childhood, far more so than people of other races, so this lady's assessment is not far from the truth. Is the anger coming from the fact that the lady saying it is White? I don't get it.

I think ww start altering their hair early as well. Definitely with the hair dye, going blond, using heat to straighten their hair.

Granted every now and then someone posts about a 4 year old or younger getting a relaxer or some ridiculous weave but most people agree that is too young.

 

[reeko43]

I think ww start altering their hair early as well. Definitely with the hair dye, going blond, using heat to straighten their hair.

Granted every now and then someone posts about a 4 year old or younger getting a relaxer or some ridiculous weave but most people agree that is too young.

I think it the occurrences of white children getting hair altering services are far less than for black children. Majority of black children I see on the daily are relaxed or have some fake hair attached.

 

[MiamiChic]

I agree with what she said. However, I think she may have forgotten that white women were getting (and a few still are) curly perms like crazy. She made an observation based on facts. I'm not mad at it.

 

[sunnieb]

Who's angry and defensive?

As I've stated before, naturals love to start in with these types of threads. However, when someone doesn't like it or see the point, they get labeled.

And yes, WW can miss me with this sentiment. There's no denial about anything. She needs to stay in her white lane.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using LHCF

 

[cutiebe2]

I think the its widely know that black women have issues with their hair. White women just observe how we act. Maybe now things are different but I remember when black women would openly complain about their hair.

I remember when I started on this board I was a Junior in HS. At the beginning on my Senior year I wore braids. When it came time to take out the braids and I wore my hair natural (as in not pressed) for the first time, I felt so uncomfortable. A white classmate gave me a compliment and so did I teacher and I just could not accept it. I am sure from my attitute, emotions, facial expression etc they realized I didn't like my hair.

 

[MzRhonda]

I'm surprised at the backlash on this thread! Why tell someone to shut up because of her observations? Truth be told, outside of this forum's community, the overwhelming majority of Black women start, and continue, altering their hair in some way from childhood, far more so than people of other races, so this lady's assessment is not far from the truth. Is the anger coming from the fact that the lady saying it is White? I don't get it.

Exactly! I am seeing these kids in high school with weaves and even middle school.....personally I think it is a shame.

 

[reeko43]

Who's angry and defensive?

As I've stated before, naturals love to start in with these types of threads. However, when someone doesn't like it or see the point, they get labeled.

And yes, WW can miss me with this sentiment. There's no denial about anything. She needs to stay in her white lane.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using LHCF

I didn't view your previous quote as angry or defensive. I do see other replies here that do appear angry and/or defensive. As far as labeling over differences of opinion don't see that here.

 

[Dposh167]

we say it ourselves that we have problems/issues with our hair. Outsiders hear this and take that info and run with it. Relaxers, weaves, calling our hair nappy, etc etc. If i was an outsider i would think the same thing

 

[sunnieb]

It's still different when a black person says this.

I mean I'm seeing more naturals and relaxed with healthy hair or at least willing to take care of their hair for once.

Times are changing for our haircare. Slowly but surely.

Heck, I even sent a long time relaxer to the natural side! She was willing to give it a try because of all the positive support available. So WW can save their "head shaking".

Sent from my SCH-I545 using LHCF

 

[SuchaLady]

I agree with the lady's observation. We are probably the only race that gives children chemical processes and weaves and at an early age. No reason to be angry or defensive about the truth.

You sure about that?

 

[MizzP]

If her only frame of reference is her biracial grand-daughter's hair, she may want to have a seat. People of African descent alter their hair texture for a myriad of reason's that have nothing to do with hate.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

She told no lies. My mom HATES natural hair. Especially LONG natural hair. As a child she used to bring me to this woman to have my hair straightened. When the lady was done, the right side of my head burned for DAYS! I have since discovered that the right side of my hair is extremely fragile.

It's taken me 40+ years to accept the fact that if I want long hair, I have to keep the chemicals out of my hair. I just BC'd (AGAIN). As soon as my hair grows to 3 inches, my mom is going to start with the comments!

 

[Evolving78]

Who's angry and defensive?

As I've stated before, naturals love to start in with these types of threads. However, when someone doesn't like it or see the point, they get labeled.

And yes, WW can miss me with this sentiment. There's no denial about anything. She needs to stay in her white lane.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using LHCF

folks are missing the point here. a WW said we are the worse offenders when it comes to our texture.... where do people think we even got the notion our texture was a problem to begin with?

 

[Misseyl]

We have issues with our hair because we can't manage it and we don't understand it. But with the influx of natural hair products, you-tubers with successful hair stories, in a couple of years most of us will be embracing our natural curls. I loved being relaxed but my hair wasn't at its full potential - breakage, burning, non existent edges - Now I'm rocking my TWA and wondering what took me so long. I feel liberated. Now I can be stranded anywhere and don't have to worry about how my hair.

 

[overtherainbow]

I'm conflicted. She told no lies but she forgot to say that historically, non-blacks constantly perpetuate this problem and debatably, started it.

Today I was reading an article and the writer was a black woman with beautiful free form locs. She was sharing a story where she was waiting on a check out line near a white teenager with locs and a white woman who was also on line made a point to only call her locs ugly and disgusting just because she was black. My current (and soon to be ex) non-black roommate sheds all over the darn house, but my minimal shed hair is more offensive for no other reason than it's "nappy" and coils up on its own and is therefore ugly to look at. Though I get more negative responses from black men, non black people stare at my hair as if it's an oddity, which is not too much better.

 

[MzRhonda]

folks are missing the point here. a WW said we are the worse offenders when it comes to our texture.... where do people think we even got the notion our texture was a problem to begin with?

 

[Honey Bee]

Then she said to me that black people were the worst offenders of all. So many of them don't like their texture.

I must have missed the "interesting" part cuz all I see is an old ww throwing passive-aggressive, concern troll shade.

 

[Pennefeather]

I think that black women are still sensitive about our hair. We often wonder how other people see us. While our culture is changing and more women feel comfortable being natural, I believe that there are still more women w relaxers than natural.

When I look at the teenagers, I see a small percentage w natural hair. We all make our own choices for a variety of reasons, but most of us still want to be accepted. The lucky few will tell everyone to go to heck.