immature boyfriend?

[niqu92]

ok so i have been dating this guy for the past couple of months and at first everything seemed fine with him...but then again everything always seems perfect in the begginning lol... Anyway, dating him was a big step for me because back in march i had gotten out of a 2yr relationship so it took me awhile to start talking to different ppl again. So like i said everything seemed fine with him..hes attractive,sweet,has goals,goes to the same college as me,he works,hes jamaican=free oxtail&patties whenever i want, and he makes me laugh. Well for the past couple of weeks ive noticed more&more that he is very immature[sigh,there had to be a catch somewhere]. He is 20 years old and he watches cartoons non-stop,plays video games non-stop, and never ever ever takes anything seriously-not even his school work. its so bad to the point where everysingle time i talk to him over the phone hes constantly playing some video game. Whenever i go over his house to see him hes always playing videogames and when i complain and ask him to put the videogames away and spend time with me his response is "ok you wanna watch cartoons?lets see whats on cartoon network" or "You wanna play Call of Duty?"like dude are you kidding me? you are freaking 20 years old,youre about 2turn 21 and youre still watching Courage the Cowardly Dog& Spongebob?ugh.
my dad doesnt like him because he also thinks hes immature and the other day he was telling me that at this point of my life whomever i date i have to ask myself if i can picture marrying and spending the rest of my life&growing with that person and that i wont be able to grow with a person like him due to his lack of maturity.
i mean out of all his qualities the fact that hes immature is the only negative thing i can think of-everything else is perfectly fine. so i dont know if i should just focus on his positive traits rather then that one negative trait..i mean i really want to talk to him about it but i dont know how to approach him.

any opinions?have any of you guys ever been w.someone that was immature&if so how did you deal with it?

 

[chickle]

You seem pretty young too...I am 20 and this is exactly how most of the guys my age act, but they at least try to hide that immature side from girls they like lol. You say he has goals and he makes you laugh and all these other lovely traits, him being immature is just a quality that you don't like and I wouldn't overlook him for it.

When he starts suggesting watching cartoons or something, have you tried suggesting other things?

 

[hopeful]

Listen to your dad. IMO he is too immature, at least too immature for you. It doesn't sound like a very satisfying relationship.

 

[southerncitygirl]

ditch his arse, just because you're young doesn't mean you have to tolerate foolishness. dad is so right!

 

[niqu92]

You seem pretty young too...I am 20 and this is exactly how most of the guys my age act, but they at least try to hide that immature side from girls they like lol. You say he has goals and he makes you laugh and all these other lovely traits, him being immature is just a quality that you don't like and I wouldn't overlook him for it.

When he starts suggesting watching cartoons or something, have you tried suggesting other things?

yea i always suggest other things but it always comes back to either videogames or cartoons.Like i understand alot of guys no matter what age enjoy videogames but with him its a constant thing he just doesnt know when to stop. its at the point where he will choose to play videogames or watch cartoons instead of study. Ive even tried to help him do better in school by studying with him but after 30minutes he'll be like "ok break time,im gonna go play some videogames"

 

[chickle]

yea i always suggest other things but it always comes back to either videogames or cartoons.Like i understand alot of guys no matter what age enjoy videogames but with him its a constant thing he just doesnt know when to stop. its at the point where he will choose to play videogames or watch cartoons instead of study. Ive even tried to help him do better in school by studying with him but after 30minutes he'll be like "ok break time,im gonna go play some videogames"

It sounds like he has a problem. i guess i am just putting myself in his shoes. i don't want my man dumping me because im always on LHCF!

If it is putting a damper on your relationship, I would drop him, especially since he knows that it annoys you when he is constantly playing videogames and he does it anyway.

 

[CarolinaGal]

It sounds like your compatibility detector is sending you warning signals. He may be a good guy but just not for you. I think you two have different ideas of quality time and acceptable academic performance. You have a lot ahead of you and you don't have to settle. Good luck!

 

[SweetNic_JA]

What is his character like? What about career aspiration and his actual GPA...Watching cartoons may not be a big deal. I'm a focused person that also enjoys Cartoon network :hehe: If you're judging based only on cartoons and video games then you may have to look deeper into the guy himself.

 

[ladysaraii]

Ain't nothing wrong w/ Courage and Spongebob (as I sit under a Spongebob blanket)

However, he does seem to be rather immature. I'd try having a serious talk w/ him, but realistically, you might have to leave him alone and move on tot he next one

 

[chelseatiara]

ok so i have been dating this guy for the past couple of months and at first everything seemed fine with him...but then again everything always seems perfect in the begginning lol... Anyway, dating him was a big step for me because back in march i had gotten out of a 2yr relationship so it took me awhile to start talking to different ppl again. So like i said everything seemed fine with him..hes attractive,sweet,has goals,goes to the same college as me,he works,hes jamaican=free oxtail&patties whenever i want, and he makes me laugh. Well for the past couple of weeks ive noticed more&more that he is very immature[sigh,there had to be a catch somewhere]. He is 20 years old and he watches cartoons non-stop,plays video games non-stop, and never ever ever takes anything seriously-not even his school work. its so bad to the point where everysingle time i talk to him over the phone hes constantly playing some video game. Whenever i go over his house to see him hes always playing videogames and when i complain and ask him to put the videogames away and spend time with me his response is "ok you wanna watch cartoons?lets see whats on cartoon network" or "You wanna play Call of Duty?"like dude are you kidding me? you are freaking 20 years old,youre about 2turn 21 and youre still watching Courage the Cowardly Dog& Spongebob?ugh.
my dad doesnt like him because he also thinks hes immature and the other day he was telling me that at this point of my life whomever i date i have to ask myself if i can picture marrying and spending the rest of my life&growing with that person and that i wont be able to grow with a person like him due to his lack of maturity.
i mean out of all his qualities the fact that hes immature is the only negative thing i can think of-everything else is perfectly fine. so i dont know if i should just focus on his positive traits rather then that one negative trait..i mean i really want to talk to him about it but i dont know how to approach him.

any opinions?have any of you guys ever been w.someone that was immature&if so how did you deal with it?

me and my guy are both nineteen and he play video games as well but when i want to spend time with him he makes time and he is very serious about his school work. As far as cartoons go i think it's fine to watch them but it should not be your first choice as an adult. My advice is to offer to do specific things with him and watch specific shows or even playing Call of Duty once in a while (it is not that bad lol ) but you should especially talk to him about it instead of growing resentful.....

oh wait have yall been on break from school for the past few weeks? if so he is just blowin off some steam and relaxin. Has he always been acting like this or did it just start?

 

[qchelle]

Umm...are you hating on Call of Duty??? Don't do that. And Courage the Cowardly Dog still comes on? Wow. Didn't know that



Anyway, I'm a cartoon buff (save House and Grey's) and will watch Spongebob for the entire day I also love video games. I just started seeing a guy that has the new CoD: Black Ops......I really just want to suggest a date at his house so we can play it together But I feel like it's too early for house dates

I dated a guy in HS who loved to play video games. I wasn't into video games back then (I no...I have de-matured) so I hated it. And he would be playing them when we were supposed to be spending time together or on the phone! Soooo annoying!! That, to me, is unacceptable. You should know when to divulge into your childish ways (like me) and when it's not appropriate. And at 20, you should know this by now. So if you can't talk some sense into him, and get him to see that he's being immature at inappropriate times, I say let him go, girl.

Btw, I'm 20 too! Why you don't like cartoons and video games?

ETA: oh, and the video games over school work thing? Nah son. I couldn't do that. See, that's why I don't even have any gaming consoles up here at school with me. Because I know that's all I would do

 

[chicitygirl]

My boyfriend in college was the same way. Except in addition to playing video games, he'd make time to drink with his fraternity brothers I think it's just how men are at that age. They are less mature that women at that stage in life. I couldn't deal with it anymore and dumped him. He's matured a bit now but it took about 10 years!

 

[niqu92]

What is his character like? What about career aspiration and his actual GPA...Watching cartoons may not be a big deal. I'm a focused person that also enjoys Cartoon network :hehe: If you're judging based only on cartoons and video games then you may have to look deeper into the guy himself.

his GPA?well i just found out last night that he's pretty much failing all of his classes and is going to have to re-take them again nxt semester. He's doing a buisness major but ever since he was little he's had a dream of becoming a singer sooo he pretty much thinks that he doesnt have to try tht hard in school because he's gonna become the next trey songz and i mean he can sing reeaaally good and i keep telling him he needs to put school first but it goes in one ear&out the other. Dont get me wrong i dont think theres anything wrong with watching cartoons[i own the whole avatar the last airbender series and i constantly watch re-runs lol] but the thing is with him its an 24/7 thing along w. xbox. If he was focused and was doing well in school then yea i dont think i would really care but the fact is that hes not.his life basicly consists of cartoons,xbox,and singing.thats it

 

[niqu92]

Umm...are you hating on Call of Duty??? Don't do that. And Courage the Cowardly Dog still comes on? Wow. Didn't know that



Anyway, I'm a cartoon buff (save House and Grey's) and will watch Spongebob for the entire day I also love video games. I just started seeing a guy that has the new CoD: Black Ops......I really just want to suggest a date at his house so we can play it together But I feel like it's too early for house dates

I dated a guy in HS who loved to play video games. I wasn't into video games back then (I no...I have de-matured) so I hated it. And he would be playing them when we were supposed to be spending time together or on the phone! Soooo annoying!! That, to me, is unacceptable. You should know when to divulge into your childish ways (like me) and when it's not appropriate. And at 20, you should know this by now. So if you can't talk some sense into him, and get him to see that he's being immature at inappropriate times, I say let him go, girl.

Btw, I'm 20 too! Why you don't like cartoons and video games?

ETA: oh, and the video games over school work thing? Nah son. I couldn't do that. See, that's why I don't even have any gaming consoles up here at school with me. Because I know that's all I would do

IE with the bolded,everytime we're together thats all he does.everytime we're on the phone hes playing xbox so i get frustrated and just end up hanging up after 20 minutes.I dont mind videogames, i have an older brother whose a videogame finatic but in his case he knows when its time for fun and time for studying.the boy goes to Duke has a 4.0 and is doing pre-med so when he spends 6hours straight playing videogames its because he deserves it since he puts in so much effort in school.So the way i see it is if youre working hard in school&making the grades and you want to spend a whole saturday just chillin&playing videogames then its fine idc. But my boyfriend doesnt put forth any effort in school and will play videogames from the time he gets home until 2am when he has an 8am class that morning.and its an everyday thing too.i mean a part of me feels like i should just let it go put at the same time i really like him so i feel like i should talk to him about it before i make any major decisions
and girl please i looove videogames.im waiting for the next gears of war to come out lol&im a serious sims addict that game is like crack

 

[SweetNic_JA]

his GPA?well i just found out last night that he's pretty much failing all of his classes and is going to have to re-take them again nxt semester. He's doing a buisness major but ever since he was little he's had a dream of becoming a singer sooo he pretty much thinks that he doesnt have to try tht hard in school because he's gonna become the next trey songz and i mean he can sing reeaaally good and i keep telling him he needs to put school first but it goes in one ear&out the other. Dont get me wrong i dont think theres anything wrong with watching cartoons[i own the whole avatar the last airbender series and i constantly watch re-runs lol] but the thing is with him its an 24/7 thing along w. xbox. If he was focused and was doing well in school then yea i dont think i would really care but the fact is that hes not.his life basicly consists of cartoons,xbox,and singing.thats it

Hmm well in that case he needs to go. Education is your foundation, and I'd be weary of anyone who takes his/her education for granted.

 

[chelseatiara]

girl he gots to go.......

 

[NOEChic]

my 57 yr old mother still watches cartoons. I am 29 and still watch cartoons, don't judge him because he still watches cartoons. As far as the video games goes, how about you take some interest in what he is doing sometimes. I hate football games, CoD, Left for dead or any of those games. But my dude likes them and sometimes, I will play with him, just so that we can have something to do.

Now as far as him failing his classes that is on him, he needs to get it together on that aspect. And what your day said is true. Any dude you get with now, you need to do a mental evaluation of, can I see myself with this person for the rest of my life. If you can't, then you need to move on.

 

[HoneyA]

When I was 20, the guys my age played video games (Play Station) for sure. I used to watch cartoons sometimes too because they made me laugh. If you honestly think he is too immature for YOU, then find someone else who is more mature. But IMO, yes he's in college but he's doing what a lot of 20 year old guys do.

 

[ppp422]

There is nothing wrong with cartoons and video games, but 24/7? That is too much. In college there were guys that weren't serious about anything but video games. I heard of dudes playing for eight hours straight! erplexed And all of those guys ended up dropping out. I would say that you should have a serious talk with him over dinner (away from the phone or tv distraction). Let him know all of your thoughts about him and the future...and if nothing changes...you know what has to be done.

 

[ThickHair]

He is 20 and sometimes that is what some 20 yo boys\men do. You can't change it, I suggest that you find a guy who's interests are close to yours. Nothing wrong with dude, he just isn't for YOU.

BTW the video game playing never goes away. My exhusband played games constantly when he came in from work. It got to be nerve racking. I swear when I started dating again, that was one of the "interview" questions. Do you own any type of video gaming system?

 

[iri9109]

well i was gonna say maybe you could look past the cartoons and video games in light of his other good qualities, but this right here?

his GPA?well i just found out last night that he's pretty much failing all of his classes and is going to have to re-take them again nxt semester.....ever since he was little he's had a dream of becoming a singer sooo he pretty much thinks that he doesnt have to try tht hard in school because he's gonna become the next trey songz

nah, bruh. i understand you're young and you're not about to marry him right now, but i think its a waste time investing in a person who's failing in school & his backup plan is to become the next trey. i dont see any potential there. its backwards to me...he should be busting his arse in school as the backup plan in case his trey songz goals dont pan out...and if he's failing business classes, i really dont see him succeeding in the industry either because he's failing the classes that could help him with money and money management, so even if he ended up being a successful singer (which odds arent too high anyways), he'd probably end up being broke in the long run. nono:

 

[onelockatatime]

It is all about balance my dear. I (twice his age) get a kick out of wii and cartoons, although Sponge bob's got nothing on Looney tunes (Bugs and Daffy). But take it from me someone who is married, as you meet your mate think long term.....yeah he's less mature than you are but he is apparently not focused on his future. Young folks don't realize that everything you do counts....start building a career and a foundation now and you will benefit in the end. Sounds to me...that boyfriend needs to transition to just friend...until further notice. Otherwise you are headed for a future of frustration, with him. He apparently is not ready (and is probably not really looking) for a committed/serious relationship now. Let him grow up at his own pace, for now leave it to his momma to raise him.

 

[brownelovely]

Listen to your dad.

 

[niqu92]

to all the ppl saying they still play videogames and watch cartoons etc. im not saying that i hate videogames&cartoons or tht i find them immature.but he does it 24/7 theres a difference between playing videogames/watching cartoons a few times a week when you have free time and doing it as an everyday thing and putting it before school work. And as i said i myself love to play videogames i was just playing xbox last night, i own an xbox,ps3,and a wii so i have nothing against videogames at all[im hoping to get Kinect soon tht junk looks too fly] its just the fact that whenever im with him thats all he wants to do and if i tell him "no babe lets do something else" he'll just be like ok fine then i guess youll just be watching me play instead

 

[niqu92]

Listen to your dad.

sigh,i knw.i hate the fact tht my dads always right.everytime i get into a relationship right after he meets the person he comes back to me and says "its not going to work out because etc.etc.etc...."
and then it ends up not working out because of the exact things my dad told me.i swear hes like a psychic,he can just look at someone or have a 2min conversation w.someone he just met and b able to tell what kind of person they are its ridiculous lol

well i was gonna say maybe you could look past the cartoons and video games in light of his other good qualities, but this right here?

[/B]

nah, bruh. i understand you're young and you're not about to marry him right now, but i think its a waste time investing in a person who's failing in school & his backup plan is to become the next trey. i dont see any potential there. its backwards to me...he should be busting his arse in school as the backup plan in case his trey songz goals dont pan out...and if he's failing business classes, i really dont see him succeeding in the industry either because he's failing the classes that could help him with money and money management, so even if he ended up being a successful singer (which odds arent too high anyways), he'd probably end up being broke in the long run. nono:

thats what im saying like i understand he has dreams&ambitions or whatever[althought theyre highly unlikely to happen] but he should also take his school seriously. and ive told him that time and time again but he doesnt listen to me it goes in one ear and out the other.the only time ive ever seen him study was last week because we had finals so of course he was trying to cram.