I'm So Tired Of Fake Hair

[Pygmy_puff]

If you marry a man that causes you to have to let your appearance to fall off because of lack $$$ or of time (unless there are small children and even this can be debateable) you have engaged in "struggle love"and you need to face the consequences. You can help who you love.

I think it is very unkind of you to tell other women that their love is "struggle love" if their husband can't afford to bankroll their beauty enhancements. It's 2017- we do not have to rely on men to pay for everything anymore. If a woman doesn't have the discretionary funds to buy makeup or hair products that is her own responsibility and does not invalidate the love she shares with her partner.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I find that when women talk about natural beauty and not using enhancements, they are talking about naturally pretty women, or women that fit a certain description. Think about those early Blue threads, and that's a baby.
Everybody ain't got it like that and I'm not mad at anyone who does more so that they can. Of course there are extremes.
And there are no rewards for being all natural everything. Personal or professional, to my knowledge anyway.

 

[southerncitygirl]

You took what I said out of context. Enhancing your natural beauty is very inexpensive. We live in the time of Groupon so it can be worked in one's budget. A woman that is forced not to be able to pamper herself because she saw potential in a man that hasn't manifested into anything is a form of struggle love. It would mean that she is footing most of the bills/responsibilities and taking on the household duties. Love doesn't pay bills, period. Nail polish and rhassoul clay are very inexpensive and so is eyebrow threading. I see too many black women who have comprised self-care working with negrums all while letting their beauty, figure and youth slip away. A man that is so needy or so selfish you can't fit in self care has you trapped in a struggle love situation. Struggle love is not just monetary. I brought up the male/ female dynamic because women within this thread think looking pretty is work or don't want to look nice for their partners. Men should want to do nice things for you whether you can do them for yourself or not. It is a way to express they care.

I think it is very unkind of you to tell other women that their love is "struggle love" if their husband can't afford to bankroll their beauty enhancements. It's 2017- we do not have to rely on men to pay for everything anymore. If a woman doesn't have the discretionary funds to buy makeup or hair products that is her own responsibility and does not invalidate the love she shares with her partner.

 

[Pygmy_puff]

A man that is so needy or so selfish you can't fit in self care has you trapped in a struggle love situation. Struggle love is not just monetary.

Ohhhhhhh... well you didn't say alladat before! Lol. When you put it like that, I totally agree with you... it's a shame to see a good woman get drained emotionally and financially by a lazy, immature man. That is struggle love, but the woman is the one doing all the struggling !

That brings me to another point... The point of the feminist movement was to allow women the choice to go into the workforce if they want. If you want to stay at home while your man wins all the bread, that is your choice and it is just as honorable as working outside the home. The problem arises when a woman chooses to work, but is still expected by her family/society to saddle the entire burden of caring for the home and children. Not only is it unfair, but it puts a strain on the relationship. We have to do our best as a society to teach our sons how to be loving, egalitarian partners, and not just expect their wives or girlfriends to be a second mother to them!

 

[Honey Bee]

1. I'm enjoying the twists and turns of this thread.

2. Meanwhile, heeeeeeeeey @southerncitygirl

3. Lastly, I just did the last wash before my install, so for those who might be interested, it will be a few days before I'm done (I'm leisurely in my process. Plus, we're doing a while home re org this week so my time is limited). I'll try to have the pics laid out all pretty by the weekend.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I thought of this thread yesterday while having my sew in removed. I'm taking a break for a minute and reacquainting myself with my hair. I'll be back to post pics later.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Ima leave this here, but I can never believe some BW still don't know they arent getting extra points for that no makeup/weave life in 2017

I do depend on my weave Bc its not in any way convenient for me to be worrying about my hair 24/7. The only reason white ppl stay in their hair everyday is Bc they literally have to or will have bugs and stuff My glueless lacefront sew-in is sooooooo convenient & bomb. I intensely workout 4-6x/wk without issue & I can make it look great again in a few mins, plus enjoy life blonde worryfree. It was $500+ for the hair and install, looks like it is from my scalp, and has been posted on quite a few black hair IG pages. My stylist is worth every penny.

Even when I was wearing my hair out in middle school, girls thought it was a wig or weave anyway, so I learned then to totally do my hair for my convenience, period. I could care less if another BW thinks I'm hiding my hair or not. Don't hide yours & live life lit

I haven't worn weave, though I wore crochet braids when I was transitioning and trying to grow my hair out some.

I have all sorts of questions! You describe your weave as convenient and bomb!

1. Is your weave easier to take care of than your own hair?
2. What do you gain from wearing your weave besides the blonde color worry-free?
3. Do you feel just as amazing wearing your natural hair as your do your weave?
4. Do you get more attention in your weave than when wearing your natural hair?
5. Do men like your natural hair more or your weave more?

 

[scarcity21]

Ima leave this here, but I can never believe some BW still don't know they arent getting extra points for that no makeup/weave life in 2017

I do depend on my weave Bc its not in any way convenient for me to be worrying about my hair 24/7. The only reason white ppl stay in their hair everyday is Bc they literally have to or will have bugs and stuff My glueless lacefront sew-in is sooooooo convenient & bomb. I intensely workout 4-6x/wk without issue & I can make it look great again in a few mins, plus enjoy life blonde worryfree. It was $500+ for the hair and install, looks like it is from my scalp, and has been posted on quite a few black hair IG pages. My stylist is worth every penny.

Even when I was wearing my hair out in middle school, girls thought it was a wig or weave anyway, so I learned then to totally do my hair for my convenience, period. I could care less if another BW thinks I'm hiding my hair or not. Don't hide yours & live life lit

@MissNina
Pls pm deets on where u buyer clueless wig?

 

[MissNina]

I haven't worn weave, though I wore crochet braids when I was transitioning and trying to grow my hair out some.

I have all sorts of questions! You describe your weave as convenient and bomb!

1. Is your weave easier to take care of than your own hair?
2. What do you gain from wearing your weave besides the blonde color worry-free?
3. Do you feel just as amazing wearing your natural hair as your do your weave?
4. Do you get more attention in your weave than when wearing your natural hair?
5. Do men like your natural hair more or your weave more?

Is your weave easier to take care of than your own hair? 100% YES. I have Double-drawn, Raw extensions that I don't have to put any product on. I usually brush it N go or high bun it N go. I have a frontal sew-in, so I go to the salon 1x/month for wash/upkeep and get it completely redone every 2.5 months. I tie a folded scarf around my perimeter to keep the frontal laid and go to sleep. My man appreciates that I don't have to wear a big scarf and bonnet every night

What do you gain from wearing your weave besides the blonde color worry-free?
To reiterate, it's mainly the convenience for me. I work corporate & have a business. I travel quite a bit at times, work out intensely, and try to have a social life. If you have a busy schedule & 4abc hair, it takes a lot of time/energy to keep it looking great. I also live in a very tropical, humid climate, so the ROI isn't always worth it.

Do you feel just as amazing wearing your natural hair as your do your weave?
I don't wear it out. EVER.

To be fair, I used frontal wigs/weaves as a transitioning tool and the convenience sold me. My hair is getting pretty long now, so I'll straighten it on my wedding day.

Do you get more attention in your weave than when wearing your natural hair? See above. I suspect I would get more attention w/ natural just Bc most BW here don't wear their own hair, so those that do stand out. Two of my girls (one 4a, other 4a/b) always wear their hair in fros and BM love them.

Do men like your natural hair more or your weave more? Well, I'm in a LTR so IDK and honestly never thought about it before then either my bf doesn't care about hair matters much as long as it looks good.

 

[MissNina]

@MissNina
Pls pm deets on where u buyer clueless wig?

Hey hun, I would but I get them custom-made from my stylist. Ive been doing glueless frontal sew-ins recently...it's a reg sew-in with a frontal instead of a closure.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Is your weave easier to take care of than your own hair? 100% YES. I have Double-drawn, Raw extensions that I don't have to put any product on. I usually brush it N go or high bun it N go. I have a frontal sew-in, so I go to the salon 1x/month for wash/upkeep and get it completely redone every 2.5 months. I tie a folded scarf around my perimeter to keep the frontal laid and go to sleep. My man appreciates that I don't have to wear a big scarf and bonnet every night

What do you gain from wearing your weave besides the blonde color worry-free?
To reiterate, it's mainly the convenience for me. I work corporate & have a business. I travel quite a bit at times, work out intensely, and try to have a social life. If you have a busy schedule & 4abc hair, it takes a lot of time/energy to keep it looking great. I also live in a very tropical, humid climate, so the ROI isn't always worth it.

Do you feel just as amazing wearing your natural hair as your do your weave?
I don't wear it out. EVER.

To be fair, I used frontal wigs/weaves as a transitioning tool and the convenience sold me. My hair is getting pretty long now, so I'll straighten it on my wedding day.

Do you get more attention in your weave than when wearing your natural hair? See above. I suspect I would get more attention w/ natural just Bc most BW here don't wear their own hair, so those that do stand out. Two of my girls (one 4a, other 4a/b) always wear their hair in fros and BM love them.

Do men like your natural hair more or your weave more? Well, I'm in a LTR so IDK and honestly never thought about it before then either my bf doesn't care about hair matters much as long as it looks good.

@MissNina, you rock! Thanks for your time and answers!

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

I just realized when I have braids or something. I get lazy as hayle. However, since I've learned to do my nails I'm trying to stay on top of them.

 

[scarcity21]

Hey hun, I would but I get them custom-made from my stylist. Ive been doing glueless frontal sew-ins recently...it's a reg sew-in with a frontal instead of a closure.

@MissNina can u pm me her info? Maybe they can hook me up with a wig

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I tried wearing wigs, but I felt too fake. I tried wearing makeup, but I just felt too fake, I tried relaxers, but the straight hair made me feel, kind of fake too after a while. I just can't get away with nothing. but I think I look nice with my two jumbo flat twist, dangle earrings and some lip gloss.... I did try, but it just wouldn't fly.

 

[nyeredzi]

funny enough, all this talk in this thread is making me want to try fake hair. i've worn braid extensions, and crochet twists i did myself (it looked like it too ) for a couple of weeks. but other than that, i don't wear fake hair. i'm kind of interested in doing so, but it's a foreign thing to me. i don't know how to cornrow, and i know i couldn't manage to make it look nice doing it on my own. also, i've been scarred for life when it comes to stylists. i'm just afraid to go to any, except reniece. so that puts me in a pickle, right? i can't do it, and too scared of pain to let someone else do it.

i really want to get some of those goddess braids or ghana braids or whatever. but, what can i do? also, when i had the crochet braids, they were so heavy feeling to me. i run, and it was so uncomfortable running with all that weight on my head. how do y'all do it?

obvs i need help

 

[sunshine737]

I'm not going to lie I'm craving some fake hair too. The only time I've ever worn fake hair is when I did some marley twist 5 years ago (I took it our after a week, they were too heavy). I want to get a weave just to see what it's like but I don't have a stylist I can trust. It's not about not being satisfied with my hair, I'm just bored. I used to bleach and dye my hair a lot (purple, pink, turquoise) and I miss it. I don't want to damage my hair, I have healthy WL hair and I want to keep it that way.

I believe hair is a canvas and is a tool for self expression. I would love to get some wigs made so I can have fun with different styles without the damage. I do think it is sad when I see some women feel they can't go out without their fake hair or they are not beautiful without it. If the fake hair is an option and not a necessity then I say more power to them! I see it as a part of playing dress up.

 

[sunnydaze]

^^^.

I love my natural hair also, but I'm about 3 minutes away from getting a sew in, for the reasons you mentioned above, I'm bored with my hair. I'm tired of wash and gos/twist outs/up dos and I want the feel of hair hanging around my face. Plus getting it blown out straight and running from this Houston heat and humidity is not what's up (I also don't want to have to lie dormant and not do my work outs b/c my hair is blown out).

I can remember being one of those who was like "I would never wear a weave", I just don't care anymore. I just want it to look good and look realistic.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

^^^.

I love my natural hair also, but I'm about 3 minutes away from getting a sew in, for the reasons you mentioned above, I'm bored with my hair. I'm tired of wash and gos/twist outs/up dos and I want the feel of hair hanging around my face. Plus getting it blown out straight and running from this Houston heat and humidity is not what's up (I also don't want to have to lie dormant and not do my work outs b/c my hair is blown out).

I can remember being one of those who was like "I would never wear a weave", I just don't care anymore. I just want it to look good and look realistic.

I can relate.

Have you thought about curly/wavy clip-ins?

For the longest time I've had this DIY hair clip-ins project that I started but never finished. The clip-ins are super easy to install, allow me to play with color, allow me to protective style (wear my own hair in pinned twists underneath), allow me to have some length and face-framing, but allow me access my own hair really easily.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I can relate.

Have you thought about curly/wavy clip-ins?

For the longest time I've had this DIY hair clip-ins project that I started but never finished. The clip-ins are super easy to install, allow me to play with color, allow me to protective style (wear my own hair in pinned twists underneath), allow me to have some length and face-framing, but allow me access my own hair really easily.

Is any of your hair out with the flip ins? How do you do it yourself? I've never used clip-ins so I don't know how easy or difficult they are to work with.

 

[sunnydaze]

I can relate.

Have you thought about curly/wavy clip-ins?

For the longest time I've had this DIY hair clip-ins project that I started but never finished. The clip-ins are super easy to install, allow me to play with color, allow me to protective style (wear my own hair in pinned twists underneath), allow me to have some length and face-framing, but allow me access my own hair really easily.

Funny you mention that, I just washed the clip ins I have b/c I'm going to give them a go again. I need to watch a few more You Tube videos b/c the only thing i know how to do right is add them to my bun to make it fuller and I'm longing to wear my hair down more.

 

[chebaby]

ive never worn sew ins or wigs and haven't had a relaxer in about 8 years. I feel most comfortable with my natural w&g. I do also like braids and Senegalese twists but I rarely wear them because I don't have the time to sit and get them done nor the $200 it costs.

I could never wear weave as its just not me. I love my hair and have wanted natural hair since I was very young. I remember one of my friends when we were like 6 had the most beautiful thick natural hair. her, her two sisters and her moms hair never grew past a certain length so they were teased for having short hair but I LOVED the thick waves that lead to their pony tails. beautiful!

I live in an area with a lot of Africans so growing up I always wanted thick bushy curly hair like I saw on the many Africans I would pass daily.
it never dawned on me that my hair didn't do that because I had a relaxer. when I found this site I was told by stylists that I couldn't go natural because my hair would fall out. but this site told me otherwise so here I am lol.

I also don't wear foundation and all the other face make up but I don't hate on women that do. I love a good mascara, my eyebrows done and lipstick. but I just don't like the thought of me contouring, highlighting, and putting all this other stuff on MY face even though I do enjoy watching the youtube videos.

ive always thought it was strange how black women feel the most beautiful when they have someone elses hair on their heads. its like, how is that even possible? its kinda funny. but you cant say that cause its borderline rude even though I mean no offense.

all the ladies I follow on IG are either a natural beauty or they aren't but I follow them anyway because they are still black and beautiful and winning at life.

people can do what they want but in the end it does matter that most black women seem to hate their hair or display behaviors that make people think they hate their hair. when the rest of women hair straight to wavy or 3a curly hair we are the only ones with hair like ours. and you let the world know that you hate being different when in reality you should love that when you walk in the room no one else will have hair like your twists out, braid out or w&g. hell even if there are five black women in a room with an afro, all afros aren't created equal.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I think some fake hair is useful. On the other hand it has gotten so out of hand. So out of hand. To the point that when a black woman has her real hair people automatically think it's fake.

Black woman with hair = Its fake, it's not all of her's, she had to buy it.

It is kinda embarrassing, no not kinda IT IS EMBARRASSING. And 80% of the time the fake hair is straight......why? It actually looks Faker when it's straight.

I hate being this opinionated.
My opinion means nothing.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Is any of your hair out with the flip ins? How do you do it yourself? I've never used clip-ins so I don't know how easy or difficult they are to work with.

I have yet to finish making them. I've only made a few clip ins. However, I've watched several YT videos demonstrating installation. I plan to leave out a small amount of hair at the front.

 

[CodeRed]

I think some fake hair is useful. On the other hand it has gotten so out of hand. So out of hand. To the point that when a black woman has her real hair people automatically think it's fake.

Black woman with hair = Its fake, it's not all of her's, she had to buy it.

It is kinda embarrassing, no not kinda IT IS EMBARRASSING. And 80% of the time the fake hair is straight......why? It actually looks Faker when it's straight.

I hate being this opinionated.
My opinion means nothing.

Ooohh Lord that's a lot of emotion

Your opinion means something to you and that's all that matters. A thread was made and an everyone has opinions. Who knows, you might inspire someone in some way.

 

[ms.blue]

I love some fake hair whether it is wefted or faux locs but I think I'm tired of fake hair. I have been rocking hand made wigs and crochet faux locs for pretty much since the beginning of the yr (with breaks to rock my natural either straighten or twist out)...but for past couple of weeks, I have been wearing my hair in medium twists with my own hair. Just for kicks, I made another wig that has been chillin' on my mannequin head since I can't seem to bring myself to wear it. I knew I was tired of fake hair when I ordered crochet locs that I really wanted in June and till now, the locs are still in their original box.
Honestly though, I don't know how long this feeling will last.

 

[Anaisin]

I think some fake hair is useful. On the other hand it has gotten so out of hand. So out of hand. To the point that when a black woman has her real hair people automatically think it's fake.

Black woman with hair = Its fake, it's not all of her's, she had to buy it.

It is kinda embarrassing, no not kinda IT IS EMBARRASSING. And 80% of the time the fake hair is straight......why? It actually looks Faker when it's straight.

I hate being this opinionated.
My opinion means nothing.

I hate when people ask if my hair is real. It's so rude. I remember my hair wasn't even straightened, it was either stretched under a winter hat. Some black dude literally put his hands in my head because he said my hair was past my shoulders wtf.

 

[BrownSkinPoppin]

I hate when people ask if my hair is real. It's so rude. I remember my hair wasn't even straightened, it was either stretched under a winter hat. Some black dude literally put his hands in my head because he said my hair was past my shoulders wtf.

I agree. Very rude. An ex first met me when I had a cute blonde bob Beyoncé inspired wig. Maybe about a month later I wore my real hair that was arm pit length at the time and he surprisingly said "you have hair!!!!" wtf?? Or black men and women who think I'm lying about my bra strap length hair and want to put their fingers all in it to confirm.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I hate when people ask if my hair is real. It's so rude. I remember my hair wasn't even straightened, it was either stretched under a winter hat. Some black dude literally put his hands in my head because he said my hair was past my shoulders wtf.

And they're going to keep asking if it's real as long as we keep faking it up. Fake eyebrows, eyelashes, eye color then plop weave on top of all that.

I watched a YouTube video of a woman putting on all of this STUFF...props...costume or whatever. I paused the video right before she started and she was so beautiful and lovely. Then she transformed into this shell. You know....like a drag queen. Did not look like a Lady anymore....more like a questionable lady..is she or isn't he?

Us real women don't need all this enhancement to prove that we have a "purse" down there. The Tranys need that painted face to persuade people they do.

We are beautiful just the way we were created, not recreated!

 

[Ayesha81]

Apparently my coworkers though my hair was a weave. Because Im Black and cant possibly have long hair without a weave. I wear my hair simple wrap style via roller set. Oh and where do I get the courage to wear my own hair I see them looking all in my scalp for weave marks.

 

[AlexandriaKiera]

I have noticed this too, however I am also guilty. Right now I'm wearing an 18 inch light brown wavy install. I've practically lived in extensions this year. I've maybe worn my hair out for 2 months out of this year. My natural hair is full bsl/grazing mbl and I get loads of compliments however I'm trying to reach waist length and extensions work better for me.

Plus I like the look of straight hair every now and then.

I'm not worried about looking too fake, considering I wear long wefts and lots of make up. I live life on my own terms and do what makes me happy. I feel confident wearing both my natural hair and extensions:

I can't say that I mind other women wearing weaves.