Im single [again]...

[smwrigh3]

So my and my SO decided to call it quits. Honestly this was a long time coming. I have been unhappy for a while now and I was thinking it was one of those ups and downs that relationships go thru. He was under extreme amounts of stress and I was doing my best to help him thru it but he kept pushing me away and our relationship took a major hit because of it.
I still love him and if he needed me I would be there in a second to help him thru whatever it is he needs. However I am not particularly sad about this. I have cried so much in the last few weeks as I have fought tooth and nail for this relationship that I have no more tears to shed. I actually felt a sense of release. I don’t really know what else it to say it sorta surreal right now. I don’t feel lonely b/c in the last month I have probably spent time with him about 5-7 times. He was constantly mad at me over something I did or said or wore (I decided to spice up my wardrobe and he hated everything said I should dress more like a mother, even tho I don’t have any kids )

I don’t understand why Im not hurting. I loved him I still do. But I’m happy with this decision.

 

[PPGbubbles]

I don’t understand why Im not hurting. I loved him I still do. But I’m happy with this decision.

you hurt because you were in love

It is natural to mourn a love lost. But it sounds like you made the best decision for yourself.



It will get better in time

 

[Syrah]

You're not hurting because you know that you made the decision that was best for you.

 

[smwrigh3]

Thanks ladies! yea I know it was the right thing to do. I talked to him today and we are still friends. I am going to allow myself to feel the way I want and need to feel. today that is relief tomorrow might be sadness. I guess we will see!

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

My ex and I called it quits a couple of weeks ago. At first I was relieved because the confusion was over. It hit me hard a few days later that the relationship was over. My advice is to limit contact with him. The friends situation gets confusing really quickly.

Sent from my MyTouch 4g

 

[hopeful]

(((hugs))) I'm sorry. I know how much you loved this guy. I'm glad you aren't too sad.

 

[diadall]

Thank you so much for sharing. I feel your pain and I know each day I would pray for the pain to go away and it will. Please lean on your friends and prayer to your deity to get through this.

 

[Mai Tai]

You aren't mourning the loss of the relationship because you gave it your best and made a decision that you could live with.

He sounded a tad bit controlling though...that whole bit about you dressing more like a mother...what the heck is all of that about? Next thing it would be your makeup and how you wear your hair, and the list goes on....

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Sigh...I've been there. Its best to leave a relationship knowing you gave it your all and actually having done that. You will be just fine and what you feel is natural. It will be tempting to go back and try again but the chance of arriving here again is high probable. You did every thing you knew to do and it didn't work. Which means....drum roll please....

The man that is for you is still on his way.

 

[NYAmicas]

*Hugs* It's normal to feel how you're feeling & there really is no rapid cure to feel better but time, good friends, and getting out. Wish you the best.

 

[ms.mimi]

I agree with Do_Si_Dos try to limit contact to allow the healing process to begin. What helped me when a relationship of mine would end, I would counter any loving thoughts of this person with 3-4 bad things they did to me. It helped me get through the hump. Be extra good to yourself for a while.

 

[rafikichick92]

Listen to Someone Like You by Adele. Wish I'd've had that song when I broke up with the exster (lol).

 

[Etherealsmile]

I'm sorry you're hurting op


That bit about staying friends with him might come back to bite you later. staying friends with him now when you're trying to get over him is probably not a good idea. It will take you a much longer time to heal as opposed to if you limited your exposure to him. I bet you anything he might try to get back with you as long as you guys try to maintain a friendship.

 

[smwrigh3]

My ex and I called it quits a couple of weeks ago. At first I was relieved because the confusion was over. It hit me hard a few days later that the relationship was over. My advice is to limit contact with him. The friends situation gets confusing really quickly.

Sent from my MyTouch 4g

Yes! I was so happy to having to carry the weight/stress of 2 ppl! I think it will hit me later as well b/c right now I am just coasting along. I had movie night with my friends and they wanted to talk about it but I really had nothing to say. I think they think I am trying to hide my emotions but thats not the case. I just dont have any of the "typical" ones RIGHT now.

(((hugs))) I'm sorry. I know how much you loved this guy. I'm glad you aren't too sad.

Yes you were alway sooo helpful in the RT thread! I will still be posting tho.. just as a single girl! lol

Thank you so much for sharing. I feel your pain and I know each day I would pray for the pain to go away and it will. Please lean on your friends and prayer to your deity to get through this.

See I prayed a while back and said to God...If he isnt the one for me then please remove him from my life as a mate. I asked God to do it before it became to hard for me to walk away. HE answered my prayers!

You aren't mourning the loss of the relationship because you gave it your best and made a decision that you could live with.

He sounded a tad bit controlling though...that whole bit about you dressing more like a mother...what the heck is all of that about? Next thing it would be your makeup and how you wear your hair, and the list goes on....[/QUOTE]

I think he was starting to get paranoid that I was going to leave him. Because he knew he wasnt treating me right and was pushing me away. So when I decided to get some new clothes he said I was dressing to attract attention. I was... I was trying to get his. At least I have cute clothes for the summer

Sigh...I've been there. Its best to leave a relationship knowing you gave it your all and actually having done that. You will be just fine and what you feel is natural. It will be tempting to go back and try again but the chance of arriving here again is high probable. You did every thing you knew to do and it didn't work. Which means....drum roll please....

The man that is for you is still on his way.

Thats were I am so confused. Because I know that if wanted to work things out I would be willing but I need some time away first at least 6months but then I know in 6months I am probably not gonna wanna go back.

Listen to Someone Like You by Adele. Wish I'd've had that song when I broke up with the exster (lol).

I listened to it while writing this responses.... I like it. It really captures how I feel. I hope he finds the one that makes him happy.

I'm sorry you're hurting op


That bit about staying friends with him might come back to bite you later. staying friends with him now when you're trying to get over him is probably not a good idea. It will take you a much longer time to heal as opposed to if you limited your exposure to him. I bet you anything he might try to get back with you as long as you guys try to maintain a friendship.

Right! I dont want him to think this is about to become one of those exes who still sleep together situations. I did that with my ex sophomore yr of college and It was a complete mess! I would like to be his friend b/c he is a good person but I think the transition from girlfriend to just friends needs to happen apart from each other.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

You seemed to be in good spirits and that's great!!!

 

[hopeful]

I love it! You asked God to remove him from your life if he wasn't the one and He answered! Praise God, now that is a testimony. Now the path has been cleared for the one . Everytime I look at your siggy pic I think what a pretty lady, and so stylish, pretty skin, wonderful smile. Whoever gets you sweetheart will be a lucky man. Trust me, one day he will tell you that he was a fool and you will say, yes you were, as you walk away with a beautiful wedding ring sparkling on your finger.

 

[smwrigh3]

hopeful most definitely! There were a million signs that I chose to ignore! Finally the lord said "LOOK HERE NOW... U asked me for it and now u gonna take it"! Thank you for the kind words. They are really uplifting and I am looking forward to my future. I am young so I think I have alot of relationship leason to learn. I am just happy I figured all this out before we moved together, got engaged or had children.

Im n a good place now!

 

[ChasingBliss]

@smwrigh3
Boy I wish I had the emotional smarts you had when i was going through stuff. Lov-ing the way you think girl. Definitely a smart young woman. I especially like when you said that you were just going to feel what you feel no matter what it is and let it be basically. Youre respecting/acknowledging your feelings without letting them take you for a ride into the twilight zone. Love it.