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I'm Giving Up On Natural Hair

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I did the same last month and have no regrets. I was truly no longer enjoying my hair. 4 years natural I can say that I gave it a good shot. I had the same exact issues as you, as well as not retaining length. I am loving my hair right now.

You have been natural for a moment so I'm sure your decision is not in haste so I say go for it!
 
I'm so happy no one has called me "self-hating":lol: DH is gonna be pissed since he's very pro natural and not a fan of relaxers but unless he's going to spend the hours washing, twisting, untwisting, defanging, trimming SSK's, and all the other drama I go through with this head of mine then he doesn't get a say lol.

I'll let him think I just flat ironed it:lol:
 
We got your back! No flames, here. You have to be happy with your hair and you are the only one who can make the choice to relax or not. We're just here to support you.:yep:
 
Talk about you, the rest of us 4z's are cheering you on.

Every day me and my hair 'Zanzebar' have to :catfight:. She real picky,If she doesn't like the way I comb her she breaks off. Some days she just falls out, I'm like what the ...? If Zanzebar don't like the way I styled her,she shrinks and puff to a new style (looking crazy).Only time my hair was knot free, I trimmed every two weeks. Woke up this morning thinking what this itch gon throw at me today?
 
Girl, I completely understand. I know it's not PC, but maintaining short 4b natural hair is not for everyone, especially when you want to look a certain way unless you have the ability to make up for it in some way. I can't/won't relax my hair for several reasons, so I'm wearing extensions until it gets to a length I want since I don't want to walk around looking like Lil Bow wow either. :lol:

Good luck.
 
Seamonster said:
Talk about you, the rest of us 4z's are cheering you on.

Every day me and my hair 'Zanzebar' have to :catfight:. She real picky,If she doesn't like the way I comb her she breaks off. Some days she just falls out, I'm like what the ...? If Zanzebar don't like the way I styled her,she shrinks and puff to her a new style (looking crazy).Only time my hair was knot free, I trimmed every two weeks. Woke up this morning thinking what this itch gon throw at me today?
Click to expand...

Sounds sooo familiar. I want to name her. But I'm afraid if I pick a name she doesn't like, she is going to wear me out :lol: I better tread lightly :yep: and come up with something pretty.
 
kbragg

I felt like this a few weeks ago. However, a keratin treatment saved me from relaxing again (Chi Smoothing System). The knotting stopped, I can comb my hair from root to tip and it is much less bulky, so I can make a beautiful bun. Shedding is non existant and it takes me an hour tops from washing to styling my hair now. All while maintaining the look and texture of natural hair. I have been natural for 10 years and this is what finally worked for me.
 
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AstroQueen77 said:
@kbragg

I felt like this a few weeks ago. However, a keratin treatment saved me from relaxing again (Chi Smoothing System). The knotting stopped, I can comb my hair from root to tip and it is much less bulky, so I can make a beautiful bun. Shedding is non existant and it takes me an hour tops from washing to styling my hair now. All while maintaining the look and texture of natural hair.
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Sorry if I'm hijacking the thread. AstroQueen77, did you do this yourself or did you go to a salon?
 
kbragg said:
I've scoured this forum multiple times, subscribe to all the gurus on youtube, bought every book on the subject and I just can't do it anymore.

I have super ultra kinky 4zzz hair. No matter what I do it rolls, balls and knots on itself. I don't like looking like a boy in twists, Tired of fake hair and wigs, can't make a decent bun, and none of the cute styles work for me because I have no damn edges. They started to fill back in but unfortunately like the rest of my hair it just wants to knot on itself. I've DCed, cowashed, oil rinsed, you name it, I've done it, but the nature of my hair just seems to want to be a TWA.

I'm just sick of it. I'm chopping it all off, getting a relaxer and rocking a short and sexy cut.. I'm tired of spending hours of maintenance on my hair only to still look busted.

Sorry for the rant, bring on the flames.
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Lol, it's kind of funny because I can spend hours on my relaxed hair trying to do a different style because I'm tired of wearing the same thing and all I end up with is taking it out because it looks a mess and me burning up feeling like I'm bout to break a sweat because I'm aggravated. I pictured you the whole time lol. But you ever used Eco styler to define your curls more, I would give it a try before I give in to the relaxer
 
kbragg said:
I've scoured this forum multiple times, subscribe to all the gurus on youtube, bought every book on the subject and I just can't do it anymore.

I have super ultra kinky 4zzz hair. No matter what I do it rolls, balls and knots on itself. I don't like looking like a boy in twists, Tired of fake hair and wigs, can't make a decent bun, and none of the cute styles work for me because I have no damn edges. They started to fill back in but unfortunately like the rest of my hair it just wants to knot on itself. I've DCed, cowashed, oil rinsed, you name it, I've done it, but the nature of my hair just seems to want to be a TWA.

I'm just sick of it. I'm chopping it all off, getting a relaxer and rocking a short and sexy cut.. I'm tired of spending hours of maintenance on my hair only to still look busted.

Sorry for the rant, bring on the flames.
Click to expand...

Because I'm relaxed and think bout going natural because I miss having thick hair, I consider my hair to be rather thin, I'm starting to be into thick more than length because to me it looks healthier, I don't like how thin my ponytails be
 
kbragg

do you girlie. i think AstroQueen77 offered a great idea to do bkt as it is a less permanent chemical process. they seem to be making bkt options that are safer these days. i would flat- iron your hair at a lower temp than they reccomend to be on the safe side when you do it.wait till your frustration eases and consider all your options, i agree with the ladies to cut your hair after its straightened.
 
I have 4zzzzz hair and yeah sometimes it is hard. I had to just fight through the awkward stage and now its ok because I have figured out my hair (somewhat), and it looks good in styles or out in a giant fro. But there were like 2 some odd years of hot messery to get to that point while I was still figuring things out and when my hair was too short to do any of the styles I wanted. So, if you are a stringent anti hotmess person xD then you've got to do you

I don't think anyone will flame you, after all its your head!
 
No shame in your game! I've only been at this B2B excursion for a few weeks myself. It's more trouble than applying the chemicals every couple of months. Don't have to worry about co-washes, DCs, or daily upkeep of my style. I've cheated anyway and used a straightening comb and curling iron to cope with the curl loss on my relaxed hair. At the end of this journey, I don't know what my natural hair is gonna look like compared with relaxed. It looks pretty good relaxed and I've got my chemical routine down to a science. What if my natural hair does not look as good as the relaxed? I will have lost months of my time, $$$, and nerves to try to get my hair to go back to how it used to look. Just call me "chicken little"! Cluck, cluck, cluck, sqwaaak!!!!
Blessings to you and thanks for your truthfulness!
 
southerncitygirl said:
@kbragg

do you girlie. i think @AstroQueen77 offered a great idea to do bkt as it is a less permanent chemical process. they seem to be making bkt options that are safer these days. i would flat- iron your hair at a lower temp than they reccomend to be on the safe side when you do it.wait till your frustration eases and consider all your options, i agree with the ladies to cut your hair after its straightened.
Click to expand...

I agree. I am in love my curls and have been natural for years. all the work, the constant having to do/re-do my hair got to me. Instead of relaxing, in case I regretted it, I decided to BKT over the weekend. I don't know what my full results are but if what my hair currently looks like is any indication I'll be happy. Just want no SSK, better ends, less thick shinier easier-to-manage hair
Do you. The goal is healthy hair, whether you're natural, relaxed, etc.
You full support! :clapping:
 
Kbragg,

I totally feel you. I am on what I call an "unintended stretch" while I contemplate going natural. I am roughly 7 months post-relaxer. I rarely see folks with 4zzz (or whatever it is called) on LHCF or youtube. I think my hair is kinkier than 4b.

I was just thinking the other day if it was unrealistic to have soft 4cde-z hair

I am so frustrated. I actually feel like I retain more length with my hair relaxed. My hair was pretty healthy while relaxed save for the occasional split ends and such.

The knots and tangles are maddening. Something tells me I would probably fare better with a big chopping. But, I am just not willing to go that short right now. No amount of conditioner is helping.

And, I don't do weaves or wigs.

I am ready to give up.


Anyhoo, I wish you luck on your continued journey.
 
It's your hair, you have to deal with it, live with it, and be happy with it. For that reason, do whatever the freak YOU want to with it!!!

Have fun!
 
When you said short I immediately thought of Halle and Toni Braxton when she first came out. Sassy and sexy!

No flames what so ever. You have to do what's most convenient for you and what makes YOU happy.

Go head on! :yep:
 
just want to throw my support out there for you. i'm a 4a and have had the same thoughts during this process...not so much relaxing, but going back to that 1/2 in twa.

for now, i've just shellac'ed my hair with gel and put a faux bun on it until I can decide.
 
Wow. No disrespect or taking anything away nor burning you at the stake but I must admit I hope you don't regret your decision. Do what ya gotta, what makes you happy, but don't relax out of frustration. Relaxed hair isn't always easier than kinky especially when you through in chemicals IMO. Again not throwing flames but just keeping it real. Good luck!!!
 
I gave up in Jan of this year so I completely understand. I tried my best but had the realization that I only made progress when I wore sew in weaves and that defeated the purpose of growing healthy hair for me. I did a ton of research, found a relaxer with great reviews from people with fine, 4b hair like mine, found a stylist with great reviews using this specific relaxer, and went for it. And for the first time in a long time I can honestly say I love my hair. I went the texlaxed route and it is the best decision I could have made. Good luck with your decision. And I agree that you should wait before doing a drastic cut.
 
i decided not to go natural too... but i've decided to keep texlaxing... when i switched relaxers to silk elements lye, my hair did not get bone straight, there was still quite a bit of texture... i will continue to use this relaxer and even dilute it a lil' bit w/oil to make sure my hair doesn't ever get bone straight... i will continue to only get a few relaxers a year... i feel like i have the best of both worlds... you have to do what's best for YOU!
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
Wow. No disrespect or taking anything away nor burning you at the stake but I must admit I hope you don't regret your decision. Do what ya gotta, what makes you happy, but don't relax out of frustration. Relaxed hair isn't always easier than kinky especially when you through in chemicals IMO. Again not throwing flames but just keeping it real. Good luck!!!
Click to expand...

:yep: ITA.
 
Well honestly this kinda bums me out:sad: but its your hair and your decision. Maybe you havent discovered the right looks and techniques for you, as I've told you before if you lived closer I would definitely style you up myself lol anywhoo I wish you all the best in your decisions.

Maybe you can try mini braids for a while to give yourself a break? Depending on the thickness of your hair....
 
Well it's done! I'm no longer natural and have no regrets whatsoever. The funny thing though is when I rinsed my hair I kept looking in the tub for a huge hunk since all the bulk is gone:lol: I'm not gonna cut YET. I actually have a little bit of length, right at collar bone length.

I'm going to apply the same healthy hair practices that I did to my natural hair. This is the first time in 3 years I've felt air on my scalp and it's so nice:lol:

I'll take some pics in the morning. It is a little thin. I kind of could tell it was even as a natural but the texture nearly hid it.

Anywho thanks so much for the support and to my ladies in PM land who walked me through it!
 
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