I'm Afraid to Tell my Stylist I don't want a Relaxer!!

[shellzfoshizzle]

My stylists recommends that I get a professional relaxer. Okay, Big Whoop. I permed my own hair in January 2005 with a Dark and Lovely perm and it tootallllllllllly dried my hair out. Which is why it's falling out on the sides and nape. Box perms don't do it for me (because of the No-lye). So I went to my stylist to get a good protein treatment. At that point, conditioner washers, ApHogee, Surging, Hot Oil Treatments, you name, it failed me. However whatever she used to "treat" my hair, it worked. It looked like I just had a fresh perm! She was asking me what products I use when I do my hair and I also told her that it had been 10 weeks since my last relaxer. Which is THE longest I have ever withheld. When I told her that, I could kind of tell by her expression and demeanor she was thinking "why would someone do that!?"

Although I am proud of myself for stretching it (also a big thanks to LHCF ladies for advice), I kind of don't want to get a relaxer JUST YET. I don't even see any newgrowth since she did my hair. I guess cause she rolled it so tightly. I know I have it, it's just not thick, wavy, course, noticable and unmanagable, which is why I want to hold out. I want to give my hair a chance to recover from the damage I did and take a break from chemicals.

Now don't get me wrong, this is the first that I've had in my life that I truely believe gives a damn about my hair. She knows her stuff people, knows how to do any kind of hairstyle you request, is prompt with appointments and I don't be in there all damn day long. I honestly like her. I was reading the other thread...something along the lines of, "why are we intimidated by hair stylists"...and I thought about that. When she told me that I should go ahead and get a relaxer (because the Lye is going to condition my hair and stop it from shedding) I wanted to dial up a LHCF member and tell her what she just told me lol. I told her that since I am in college, I'd fly back home (cause yes she is that good) in two or three weeks and get one. I don't really want to though. I'm a little hesitant. I feel like when I tell her I want to hold off a little more, she will not care as much about my hair since I'm not following her request or think I am being cheap. I don't want to look like an idiot and explain all the things I've learned from LHCF and my reasons for stretchng.

It probably doesn't seem like a big deal to many of you, but we all know that our hair is a big part of who we are cause if it wasn't, we couldn't be on LHCF all day long checking for updates every hour! And when our hair is looking a hot mess, we have a bad day and just want to go run and hide in the corner. So I'm really thinking hard about this should I or should I not get a relaxer ordeal. Yes, it is a big deal to me...


Feel free to leave comments. Thanks!

 

[mswinni]

I would say do what you feel is best for your hair. Think about it...what if you do let ler relax and there is no improvement or it's worse off than before. Then you have to go thru the whole process of trying to get back in order again. You know your hair better than anybody else. Trust your instincts.

 

[Poohbear]

Why are you afraid? Just tell her you will wait later on to get a relaxer touchup. If you are still too afraid, just save your money, do your own hair for the time you want to stretch your relaxer to, and then go to the salon when "you" want a relaxer touchup.

 

[alibi]

I don't know where she gets the "Lye is going to condition your hair" line from. I've never heard anyone say anything like that! Lye doesn't "condition" your hair, it dissolves the cuticle layer so that the strand will lay flat. Now maybe she means the relaxer will improve the overall condition of your hair, i.e. stop shedding, breakage, etc.

Anyways, you don't have to explain to anyone why you want to stretch out your relaxer. Just don't go back if you don't think she agrees. But my questions is, do you yourself know why you're stretching out your relaxer? B/c it works for some, and for others it leads to more shedding and breakage. I've seen some lovely heads that relax every 6-8 weeks and their hair is long and thriving. It might be a matter of finding the right relaxer for your hair. But if you want a break from chems for a while, then stand by your decision regardless of what she says.

 

[Koffie]

Girl you betta speak up. I don't care how good she is. ****rolls eyes & sucks teeth*****

 

[shellzfoshizzle]

Thanks ya'll!

 

[Koffie]

Anytime!

 

[Honi]

Just because a stylist may know her stuff and hook up a style does not mean that he/she knows what they are doing. She is thinking is that your hair will break off if you don't touch it up every 6-8 weeks or whatever. She doesn't not know what you do in between (i.e. – CO washes, moisturizing, less manipulation, etc). I doubt if she will be supportive in your reasoning anyway. It's what you want and that's all that counts. You gotta remember that the LHCF world is SMALL. LOL Everyone I not doing what we are doing here. To speak of some of the things that we do would raise a few eyebrows.

Listen to your inner voice. You know you want to stretch between touchups so that you will have enough newgrowth to prevent overlapping AND to give your hair a much needed break as you said. Second, you are paying her to do what YOU WANT not what SHE WANTS. Speak up even if you don't want to explain. Shoot, you don't have to anyway. Just tell her no thanks.

 

[shellzfoshizzle]

Second, you are paying her to do what YOU WANT not what SHE WANTS. Speak up even if you don't want to explain. Shoot, you don't have to anyway. Just tell her no thanks.

Now, THAT is what I needed to hear!