I'm about to have a nervy B!!

[Bella02]

OP
Time will tell if your hair will ever hang. I am 4b and due to shrinkage will never have hair that hangs without some type of manipulation. But regarding the youtube video you posted, you may want to connect with her on BHM she’s an active poster there under the name (DOMIN) and if I am not mistaken has heat-trained hair. It's been discussed many times on BHM if you do a quick search. I wish you luck on your post BC journey. Hang in there!

WOW! im very surprised at the responses. People told me once you BC you will go through your ups and downs and when i was having (downs) doubts instead of more support i have people criticizing me? and no i dont mean a CURL texture. heres a PERFECT example of someone WITHOUT curls who has beautiful hair! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRFZ7Yi5YgA Obviously my hairs going to hang down eventually thats the law of gravity, im not expecting big beautiful curls (oh and its funny how everyone said i was a 3c/4a in my BC thread but after this thread now i'm a 4a/b...lol) anyways its fine i found what i was looking for on youtube. i apologize if i offended anyone, but if i have anymore questions about my hair i'll just PM the more understanding members, thank you for the responses.

 

[DeenIsFirst]

WOW! im very surprised at the responses. People told me once you BC you will go through your ups and downs and when i was having (downs) doubts instead of more support i have people criticizing me? and no i dont mean a CURL texture. heres a PERFECT example of someone WITHOUT curls who has beautiful hair! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRFZ7Yi5YgA Obviously my hairs going to hang down eventually thats the law of gravity, im not expecting big beautiful curls (oh and its funny how everyone said i was a 3c/4a in my BC thread but after this thread now i'm a 4a/b...lol) anyways its fine i found what i was looking for on youtube. i apologize if i offended anyone, but if i have anymore questions about my hair i'll just PM the more understanding members, thank you for the responses.

When her hair (in her other youtube vids) is wet, it looks more like a Type 3 with no curl pattern (S's) versus a type 4 with no curl pattern (Z's). The two behave very differently.

 

[maysay]

thanks to all the people supporting me and not jumping down my throat! i appreciate the SUPPORT. yes i did prepare myself mentally but its still a life changing thing and i expected a little more leeway but i guess not...anywho for those who understand that thanks for the responses i feel a lot better about my natural hair. you are right i just need to learn my texture and not worry about the overall thickness of the hair and take it in strides. i was just afraid it was going to be overwhelming and i would get frustrated that was my only concern. as far as people confused on what i'm asking, like i said i figured it out on my own...dont worry about it.

Honestly, I don't think anyone's trying to jump down your throat. Sometimes the best support is the unadulterated truth.

Some of the things you said indicate that you may have some hair problems based on your thinking/mentality and I think addressing that (and having others be truthful about it) is the best way to nip it in the bud. That way, you can have the most successful journey possible.

Better that you learn the truth about your hair and what it can do TODAY, than to be laboring under delusions for the next few years or to run back to the relaxer after having just cut off all your hair.

 

[Damaged but not out]

OP now u know the rules of LHCF. Don't post or start a thread until you read it from all angles, examine it, picture all possible reactions. Then and only then hit reply.

And ur back better be broad cause ya might hold licks..... anyway.

Then I see threads with ppl wondering where ppl gone, why they stop posting etc.

 

[Avaya]

I think you will really appreciate the thickness of your hair OP when once you gain some length. If you plan on being a straight natural, your pressed/flat ironed hair will look so lush! Just you wait and see !

 

[yods]

Mothers sure are great sometimes, aren't they? With a few words or looks they can kill your self esteem dead. The biggest asset you will need to gift yourself with in your natural journey is not products but a thicker skin as people family, friends and strangers will comment.

No advice on the styling but with all sincerity your hair is beautiful.

 

[chebaby]

i seriously doubt your hair will ever hang. atleast the way im thinking hang. your hair will grow out and up and the bigger it gets the more weight it will have but you will have to manipulate your hair to make it do anything its not going to naturally do.

 

[silenttullip]

nah girly right now u may still have scab hair "that thick hair thats left after a bc" even if not be happy u have thick hair Mine was like urs and as it gets longer the thickness loosens

the fact that its too thick!! did anyone else have very thick hair when it was short to grow out into normal hair or am i going to have just a big afro??

 

[Lynnerie]

I think whats happened here is what I call BC shock. This happens when you are expecting your hair to do something and it doesn't. Thats why when you transition to go natural you have to transition your mind as well.


We are all different and so is our hair. While its fun to stalk fotkis and admire other people's hair you have to focus on learning what works for your hair and forget about terms like curl clumping and hanging.

The youtube vids that were posted. Cynthia and Longhairdontcare- they both have different lengths and hairtypes.

LHDC says she has heat-trained hair. Did you watch her natural hair progression video? Check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/Longhairdontcare2011#p/u/1/G6wFWeUg4r8

Look at her pic at 24 seconds. She had a thick afro. As your hair grows the curl pattern will stretch out due to the weight of the hair.

I think you need to be patient with your hair and concentrate on keeping it moisturized and learning what products will keep it healthy. You also should work with your hair type and not against it. Enjoy the TWA stage because it goes fast. Love your hair type and stop comparing your hair to others.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i didnt mean to offend anyone with the word normal. i just meant like the naturals i personally have looked up and studied. but no one seems to b answering my question on how their very thick TWA's turn out....

i believe they turn into thick BAA, thick twists, thick braids, thick puffs, thick straightened hair... take your pick. ♥

 

[kittykhat]

Maybe try msm. It's supposed to loosen your curl pattern. You don't look like a full 4a to me though. It looks like there is some 3c in there too.

 

[MizzBrit]

just because it isnt what you want to hear doesnt mean it isnt support..
these ladies are speaking real talk

 

[fwilliams]

this is a great example of what im talking about!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs_WX7Hoors

I actually like her hair..you have to figure out what works for you. Have you also considered that your father had a dense fro with undefined curls, but how many men are trying to define the curls in a fro? Their going to pic it out so you never would have seen his curls.

I have SUPER thick hair and I love it... when I flat iron, my hair is full with a lot of body and people ask me if I added hair to make it full.

Thank your daddy for that thick hair girl!

 

[NIN4eva]

I BC'd two years ago and FREAKED OUT when I realized the reality of the nappy I was dealing with. The baking soda texturizer http://littlegoldenlamb.wordpress.com/2009/01/31/baking-soda-and-the-bombshell/ helped quite a bit. I did a ton of research first though. And it's not for sensitive or heads or color treated tresses.

 

[NaturalPath]

Seriously be glad that you have thick hair. I wish I had at least half of your thickness; my twists look a HAM, box braids look a HAM because my hair simply lacks thickness and or density.

You don't always have to wear your hair in its wash n go type state. Bantu knot outs, twist outs, coil outs are something you can work with.

If another person complains about their thickness imma But OP your hair really is beautiful, im just e-hating for real

 

[UrbainChic]

Just give it time, and see how it goes.

My brother and I both have hair about the same length. We originally did a BC around the same time ( We are actually having a hair race, which i am winning) . When my hair is short, it looks less "loose" than his. Now that we both have decent sized fros, his curls are clearly much smaller, and with more definition than mine, and mine "hangs" and the top part is very S like, while the bottom are bigger curls. My hair was like this as a child, it just looks a certain way short. And my brother as a child always had the shortest hair ever, so all you saw were those smooth curls. He has intense shrinkage, I don't.

I've attached pictures of us with our equal length starter hair, and him last month ( looking goofy) and me in september. Looking at our BC's there is NO WAY you could have known with certainty who has shrinkage, who's hair grows up and who's hair grows down.


But only time will tell what your hair will do.You never know what it will turn out like, but you have to have the patience to let it grow, and the desire to learn how to work with your hair and not against it. Once you learn how to work with your hair, you will retain length and your hair will flourish.

Its hard doing the big chop. Much of our femininity in this society is wrapped up in having hair, particularly nice long hair. Try using little barrettes, nice earrings, cute headbands and a little more makeup if thats part of what is scaring you. But take it as an opportunity to learn your hair texture.

I've become unafraid of BC's since I have done it 3 times already--the great thing is that hair always grows back-- but its only liberating if your mind is liberated.

 

[Geminigirl]

I am sorry you weren't receiving the support that you wanted to hear. I know that can be tough. When I BC'd I was oh so sad, it was short, and tight and dry and not at all what I expected. I thought I was going to have this big ol lush fro that I could style. NOPE.

Your in a TWA stage now. I don't know where you live or if co washing is an option for you but I tried the Tightly curly method as recommended by a member mixed with some Ayurvedic oils and my hair did a 360. Worry less about what someone else's hair does and more about the beauty in yours. Take advice and notes from naturals especially ones with your texture and use at your own discretion.

I'm sure alot of people who have BC'd have been where you are cause it is a shock, all your hair is gone. But trust me it's such a fun enjoyable ride. Maybe you can PS and hide your hair til the summer. The summer is the best because you can wash daily if you want. Get to know your hair, put some oil in there and just massage. Stand in front of the mirror or however you want to do it and just REALLY massage your head and relax your mind and think about the hair you want. It works.

 

[MrsMe]

I understand how you feel as a natural and know that 90% of the time we go through the BC shock. However, it is by informing yourself through research and posting threads like you did, that you can get an idea of what to expect from your hair.
The ladies may have sounded harsh, but if you stay natural for a long period of time, you will understand their skepticism. I was frowning myself in front of the computer when I read the words "normal" and the afro being perceived in a negative manner. Although, I could understand that some people don't like the afro look, I could not understand what you meant by normal hair until you explained what it meant to you. It's a very delicate issue and as you may know by now, you need to choose your words carefully when referring to natural hair. Live and learn.
Let's return to your topic: I'm a 4a and when I did the big chop I already knew that my hair was not going to hang down. It only hangs down when it is soaked wet or has been manipulated (heat, braids or twists). Your texture is similar to mine so I think it is fair to say that you will need to train your hair.
I have also learned from personal experience that at the beginning of a natural hair journey it is essential to learn how to distinguish cruel criticism from constructive criticism. Cruel criticism will shatter you and make you question your choices, so you will need to learn how to tune it out. It will often come from your relatives or friends and hurt very much, but that's how you will build your strength as a natural black woman.
HTH

 

[Geminigirl]

I am drooling at you and your brother's hair Urban especially your brothers *wink wink*

 

[UrbainChic]

I am drooling at you and your brother's hair Urban especially your brothers *wink wink*

LOL Thanks.

 

[Geminigirl]

Your certaintly welcome.

 

[Foxglove]

i didnt mean to offend anyone with the word normal. i just meant like the naturals i personally have looked up and studied. but no one seems to b answering my question on how their very thick TWA's turn out....

Not trying to be mean but we are trying to understand why you don't think your hair is normal
A lot of us have that same "abnormal" hair you have so it's hard for us to give you the type of encouragement you're looking for

 

[sharifeh]

I'm sorry OP. Yes, the ladies are being honest with you which is very valuable although it came off quite harsh in some instances But be thankful that they were willing to be honest and not tiptoe around it. Not all posters have that luxury. Many posters just get half-hearted encouraging comments because people don't want to speak the truth.


Anyway,

Be patient with your hair. I don't have much good advice (because I relax my hair) except to wait it out. You did the big chop, don't go relax right after it. If I chopped off my hair, I wouldn't want to waste that. I'm sure you will end up loving your hair.
And any hair can hang at a certain length you just may have to keep it stretched in order to achieve that. I read on here that many people with 4a/b hair keep it stretched 24/7 to avoid the infamous single strand knots.

I saw your pictures and your hair looks really pretty!

 

[sharifeh]

By the way, what does it mean to have a nervy b??

 

[lovegymnasts]

By the way, what does it mean to have a nervy b??

I assumed it meant nervous breakdown.

 

[Truth]

Umm as I look over my bc pic ... I didn't see much of a curl pattern...it just looked like bush..lol after a while curls formed... give it some time...and don't fret..I see some curls in there

 

[HeavenlySkies]

Including transition time its been 20 months and STILL NO HANGTIME whatsoever i'm still looking like this...

thinking about just getting a perm because this is stupid.​

 

[PearlyCurly]

So how you think these ladies were being "mean" or "catty" or ummm "un-encouraging" well the way you came off is as if you did not like your hair(lets be honest, you kinda dont!), and as if having your hair type is like cutting off a babys leglachen:
Anyway, i have thick hair and honestly your gonna have to get use to it I am a little over a year being natural and my hair hangs(front/sides) but it seems to have gotten even thicker too!

 

[Day36]

i'm sorry, but yeeees @ the Samuel L pic ^^^^^! lmfao. While I appreciate the frankness in here (as as lawd knows many times, posters arent told the truth) and do think some were trying to understand from where she was coming/what she was asking, I do think others of you are being nippy and harsh. yall dont have to play captain save a natural, Just pass on by the thread.

I agree with the ladies who have said it may just be bc shock. i do think bc'ing and having all natural hair is a different game from transitioning...and, to some that is a big shocker at first. give her time and she will get the hang of things. she's excited about her natural hair, just didnt know exactly how it would be. thus, her post sounds like "oh ish, what did i just get myself into" lmfao!

OP, I think Lynnie B, Gemini and some other ladies gave great advice. Love and embrace your thickness, youre gonna have a real "Mane N Tail" when you straighten or do out styles. Just let it grow and enjoy it. And, if you get a "fro", you'll be aight, as you have access to many styles and options. Oh yeah! moisturize, condition, and put some leave-in in that ish and rock it Amber Rose confident! *hugs* you'll be aight, stop the nervy b talk. lol

 

[meecee]

I've been wanting to say this, but didn't want it to seem harsh.

In general, the transition from relaxed to natural is not just physical (hair). A lot of new naturals struggle because they need to TRANSITION their MIND as well. Most black women's natural hair will not behave or appear the same way as relaxed or naturally staight hair. The sooner you accept that, the easier your adjustment period will be.