Ignorant? Yay or nay?

[FlawedBeauty]

Is this ignorant or is it just me. Usually as a ps I wear my hair parted down the middle with two twists on each side. Sorta like the milk braid. So my white friend happend to see another black person with this style and he asks me if this style is common for ppl with my hair type (meaning blacks). Okay fine. But my whole thing is if I were a white girl I'm sure it would have nver been asked. Thoughts...

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[HautePinkHeels]

I'm not sure I understand.

Were you offended that he asked you?

 

[lesedi]

Meh....
I don't think he meant any harm. Some hairstyles (not yours) ARE more popular with people with similar hair types (cornrows etc)

 

[Saga]

I think it's ignorant, but not in the "Ima just come right out and say it regardless of how rude I am." way.
It sounded more like the "I'm totally clueless, can you help me understand?" way.

That person just sounds like they genuinely didn't know, and was simply curious.

 

[southerncitygirl]

sounds ignorant but maybe he just doesn't know.....he may think cause he's seen a few with this style that its commonplace.

 

[ONAMSHN]

Maybe not ignorant as much as outta the loop! **shrugs**

 

[meesch]

Ignorant. I also don't buy that white people don't know their ignorant comments (oh I don't know any better but I don't mean any harm) are offensive. They know they're likely being offensive, they're just counting on you to let it slide.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

I was slightly offended. But I may just be over reacting lol. I just don't see it as being something he would ask his white friend if her and some other random white chick was wearing the style. Cuz I have seen some white chicks with the 'do.

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[Ronnieaj]

The comment isn't per se offensive. I wouldn't have been offended by that comment, any more than when people have asked me why my lips are two different colors. Being offended by a statement does not make the statement itself an offensive one . People tend to make so many assumptions about what someone would have done around others, but since we're not there, we don't know, and there's no reason, IMO, to extrapolate from one statement what someone thinks, feels, meant, etc. Just my two cents.

 

[geejay]

It sounds pretty harmless. Unless there's more to the story..like this guy has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth, or the context of the conversation, or his manner when he said it, I'd let it go.

 

[Evolving78]

ignorant as hell. they have a real habit of trying to understand the Black race with questions that just don't need to be asked.

let us a change it a bit...

" i saw another black girl with that same hairstyle and i wanted to know is it common to wear your hair like that?" sounds crazy right? i am so sick of certain folks grouping us into a box like that.

 

[lux10023]

its 2012--lets stuff like this roll off ya back....smile and KIM

operation positive...no one can alter my happiness mode! in full effect

 

[Ogoma]

Is this ignorant or is it just me. Usually as a ps I wear my hair parted down the middle with two twists on each side. Sorta like the milk braid. So my white friend happend to see another black person with this style and he asks me if this style is common for ppl with my hair type (meaning blacks). Okay fine. But my whole thing is if I were a white girl I'm sure it would have nver been asked. Thoughts...

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It seems like a dumb question. If he has a brain, he probably wanted to kick himself once it came out of his mouth.

 

[Ogoma]

I was slightly offended. But I may just be over reacting lol. I just don't see it as being something he would ask his white friend if her and some other random white chick was wearing the style. Cuz I have seen some white chicks with the 'do.

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If you were offended, I don't think anyone should make you feel like you are overreacting. There is no reason white people, or anyone for that matter, does not know as much about our hair as we know about theirs. I don't think it is too much to ask to expect your friends to be respectful of your feelings.

ETA: I don't know why people keep telling you to K.I.M. Of course you are going to K.I.M! I didn't get the impression you were planning on knocking him down and dragging him out the door because of his comment. You were just looking to vent in what should be a safe space.

 

[Avaya]

By definition, yes, the question was asked in ignorance.

 

[NJoy]

Man! You black people are so sensitive.

 

[StarScream35]

Sometimes I think we really need to gain better self esteem and become more secure. I mean he just asked a question. Black people do the same to whites, Asians, Native Americans etc. Oh and believe me, I've heard blacks ask people STUPID question. I was once at a Native American powwow and a black woman asked one of the Native guys did they still live in teepees. I was like WTF!!!!! Instead of getting offended, educate and be nice about it. That way, when he's in the presence of other whites and other whites bring up black people's hair, guess what.........then he can educate!

 

[aishasoleil]

It really was a stupid question. However, *I* personally would not have been offended. BUT, I am accostomed to (white) people asking me questions that seem odd. I happen to live in an area where there is only a handful of black people. (like out of a population of approx. 8000, there are supposedly 200 black folk... I've seen maybe 10 other than myself. )
So people around here really don't know much about our hair at all. I usually just answer their silly questions as best as I can and then make fun of them when I get home. Lol.

My DH used to ask me silly questions when we first started dating. There were times I wondered why the heck I had to fall for a white boy. LOL. But over the years I taught him the ins and outs of my hair. Now he says things like, "You're wearing a twist out today? It looks really cute." Haha!

Anyway, I say all that to say: I'm sorry you were offended by what he said (and I can totally see where you're coming from) but I don't think he meant it that way. If he is a real friend to you, you should be able to express how you felt about his comment. If you just let him know his mistake then he's not likely to make it again. And he may learn something!

 

[yaya24]

Random a s s observation/comment on his part..
But I would personally save my offended tickets for something more worthy.

 

[Napp]

Random a s s observation/comment on his part..
But I would personally save my offended tickets for something more worthy.

LOL at "offended tickets"

 

[empressri]

To be honest...it sounded like a random brain fart and he just happened to verbalize it.

I'm actually amazed that being a male he noticed your hairstyle AND another woman's similar hairstyle!!! Let's honest, the majority of dudes are totally oblivious to that sort of thing.

 

[Cendra]

Ignorant. Does he not realize that there are more than two black women on the planet? I wouldn't have bothered getting upset over it though, just chalked it up to another dumb question.

 

[Missigirl]

Maybe a little ignorant......but that is the way I wear my hair too. That question is like the one......Do you know him or her assuming I know them because we are both black.erplexed

 

[Rocky91]

Maybe a little ignorant......but that is the way I wear my hair too. That question is like the one......Do you know him or her assuming I know them because we are both black.erplexed

lmao. I was wearing this style today too! except french braids. maybe he saw all of us?

anyways, like yaya24 said i'd be keein my "OFFENDED" ticket in my purse. lol that entertains me so much. keepin my angry black woman citation for a rainy day and ****.

 

[SuchaLady]

That sounds pretty harmless to me.

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[DaiseeDay]

ignorant as hell. they have a real habit of trying to understand the Black race with questions that just don't need to be asked.

let us a change it a bit...

" i saw another black girl with that same hairstyle and i wanted to know is it common to wear your hair like that?" sounds crazy right? i am so sick of certain folks grouping us into a box like that.

It's how stereotypes are formed.

He wouldn't ask a white girl the same question because they're not a minority; he already knows that just because two white people are doing something doesn't mean that all or most white people do the same. But because we're a minority he thinks that two examples can be used to represent us all.

I think it's a subconscious thing.

I would've said "no, it's kind of a common style for women of all hair types". Just correct his assumption and KIM.

I don't think he meant any harm.

 

[MekyakaKinkerbelle]

Hmmmm, I don't think it is ignorant in an offensive way. But it is ignorant in a lack of knowledge way.

I know that my two milk braids don't look anything like my white friends' milk braids. So, even though it is the same style, it doesn't "look" like the same style. And depending on age, it really isn't something you see many people out there wearing. The couple of times I have worn them out, I get the "Oh, are we visiting a farm" comment, because - again - not many folks wear the style out really.

So, the fact that he saw two black girls (I presume the other person was a black woman) with the style, I can *kinda* see why he wondered.

Now, that being said, I'll never really understand how white folks are so quick to make comments about our hair in general.

I agree with those that say KIM.