ignorant folk

[misschee]

dont get me wrong i love my sister to def (yes i meant def). but some times she is just too much for me. now she has never had hair longer than chin length but she also has never done anything especially good for her hair. i have always been the hair obsessed one in the family and she makes fun of me for it. but my hair has always been healthier and longer than hers. she has had a weave (different ones) in for at least the last year. now there is nothing wrong with weave i use to rock 'em when i was straight but if you arent properly caring for them....so ive been trying to drop little hints to her about what some of the ladies here have done to grow there hair out. and she always has some excuse. i even have shown her comparison pics of some of the relaxed ladies so that she knows that black hair does grow and what does she do, go right back into the bathroom and continue to flat iron that bang. it frustrates me to no end because im the one that has to hear her talk about her damn hair and how it doesnt grow blah blah blah. and then i ask her what she is doing to grow it and she gets the hush mouth. and she'll look at my hair and say stuff like you make me wanna go natural but in the same breath say that she knows her hair wont curl like mine. WHO CARES??? she probably dont even remember what her hair looks like. when we were kids our hair was never out anyway. so we never knew what our curls, kinks, coils looked like. i didnt know what my hair looked like until i cut off the relaxed ends. and they've changed in the year (almost~july 31) that i have been natural. she wants everything to just happen for her but she doesnt wanna put in any work and thats not just with her hair thats with her life. she jokes around and tells me that she is gonna send her future kids to my house to get their hair done. right now i would send them right back to her. at this point im just so done trying to help her cuz she never listens anyway.

i really needed to get that out

 

[napgurl]

No disrespect, but hair is your thing. She may have her own thing. Leave the poor girl alone. Love her for her -- she's not hurting anyone.

 

[Irresistible]

Patience sweetie-she may come around to caring more-probably on her own terms, just be there when she does-no need to turn on her or turn her away

 

[JustKiya]

she wants everything to just happen for her but she doesnt wanna put in any work and thats not just with her hair thats with her life. she jokes around and tells me that she is gonna send her future kids to my house to get their hair done. right now i would send them right back to her. at this point im just so done trying to help her cuz she never listens anyway.

i really needed to get that out

If that's her attitude about her life, then you might as well give up. Those who expect good things to be handed to them on a silver platter rarely get anything they want - you have to work to get what you want in life if what you want is different from what you have - period.

I know she's your sister, and it's gotta suck (and hurt, sometimes) to see her so far below her potential (esp. if she's always whinging about not reaching her full potential) - but until she understands she has to make effort - it's like trying to teach a pig to sing - frustrating for you & the pig.

 

[LadyEuphoria007]

Man I know where you are coming from but sometimes you just gotta sit back in the cut and let people find their way themselves.

Some people just lazy and they gonna stay that way.

Has she ever asked you for hair tips? If not I just wouldn't say anything else to her about it.

 

[ladylibra]

lemme tell ya something... there is NOTHING and i mean NOTHING more frustrating than a person who complains about something that's wrong with their life, but won't do a dayum thing to fix it.

i do not waste my time on people like that. i refuse to join in their pity parties. if you want my help cool, if not go whine to someone who cares. for real. yes i've told my own sister this too (not about hair, about other things).

sounds harsh but i take those issues on as my own... and like i said it only causes frustation. leave your sister be, if she comes to you complaining tell her you ain't tryna hear it! until she is willing to take some real advice and is willing to take that first step, don't entertain her self-victimization (yeah dunno if that's a real word or not ).

 

[HoneyA]

Just continue growing your own hair and leave her be. When she starts complaining, say" yeah, I know", "really?!", "uh huh" and leave it at that. Detach yourself from it all and you won't get so worked up about it. When she is ready to grow her hair, she'll ask for advice and actually follow it.

 

[misschee]

Man I know where you are coming from but sometimes you just gotta sit back in the cut and let people find their way themselves.

Some people just lazy and they gonna stay that way.

Has she ever asked you for hair tips? If not I just wouldn't say anything else to her about it.

she doesnt ask for tips, so much as complain about her hair woes. but ive decided to leave her be and to continue my hair journey. b/c i can give her all the advice in the world and i know (from experience being her sister for 21 years) that most likely she is not gonna listen to me b/c she thinks im a "know-it-all" (although most of the time im right, but we not gonna get into that know)

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

She hasn't hit her hair rock bottom yet. When/if she does she'll listen.

Sometimes we just have to let people do their thing. I can tell you care a lot about your sister.

Once I was talking to my sis and noticed a bunch of broken hairs on her shirt. I told her that her hair was breaking. She shrugged. Sooo I went on to just say "Maybe you could do a moisturizing treatment". She basically ignored me so that let me know she wasn't trying to hear my hair advice so I don't offer it anymore.

 

[SunnyDelight]

I have a family member who is exactly the same way. Complains, complains, complains about her hair . . .

lets it stay dry and covers unprotected with a wig . . .

Laughs at me for actively trying to grow my hair out . . . even calls me "Miss Hair Juices & Berries"

But a few weeks ago was checking my hair for weave tracks. Then had the nerve to call me the next day and ask my regimen. I've only been trying to share it for a year now.