Los Angeles. But here, most people wear weaves so I'm not seeing that many heads of real hair at all.
When I was in school in Boston I saw some of the most jacked up heads of relaxed hair I've ever seen.
When I was in school usually the student have jacklaxed hair because it was the last thing they focused on. Midterms and everyones head was a mess. You could tell who was stressed out just by looking at the hair. Outside of school things tend to be much more diverse.
Oh no, I meant in the city. Like the place I went to get my hair done, every other woman was relaxed and their hair looked tore up. And, then just walking around downtown crossing or in roxbury...woo lawd...nothing but dried out, crackly, no edges, dandruff all over their shirts, greasy heads of hair no longer than neck length unless it was a weave. Just a hot mess.
I'm all for freedom and choices. I don't have a problem with anyone personally choosing to do it but I think it speaks to a deeper issue when most of us permanently straighten our hair when clearly most of us do not have naturally straight hair.
My concern is with the amount of Black women who chose to alter their natural hair texture and etc.
I'm all for freedom and choices. I don't have a problem with anyone personally chosing to do it but I think it speaks to a deeper issue when most of us permanently straighten our hair when clearly most of us do not have naturally straight hair.
I try not to pay attention anymore because I understand the dynamic of Black people living in western society; but since you brought it up I will give my honest feelings on this issue. I don't have a problem with the relaxed, texlaxed, weaved, wigged or weavlaxed individuals. My concern is with the amount of Black women who chose to alter their natural hair texture and etc.
There seems to be a disproportionate amount of those that relax compared to those that are natural. I think weave outnumbers relaxed now. But then again the relaxed are wearing extentions too. Not sure but based on what I have seen, I think natural hair is still in the minority in spite of the fact that many of us are transitioning. Shouldn't it be that most of us wear our hair without chemicals, extensions and wigs? Don't you think that would be more healthy. I'm all for freedom and choices. I don't have a problem with anyone personally chosing to do it but I think it speaks to a deeper issue when most of us permanently straighten our hair when clearly most of us do not have naturally straight hair.
(I don't included naturals who temporarily straighten unless they are ashamed to wear it natural nor do I include those who wear wigs/weave as temporary protective styles - even that is questionable - nor those that just want to do something different on occasion.)
I, for example, have been getting relaxers since I was very young, before I could make an informed decision about my hair. So now when my NG comes in, compared to my relaxed hair, it's just a little more difficult to maintain, and I have hair breakage. Not everyone wants to BC and start over (especially not me). It's not that I want to conform to western standard of beauty, I just want my hair to be more manageable; relaxing does that for me.
why cant black women just be who they are and have it not come down to our hair? If it falls off tomorrow then there wouldnt be jack to talk about. So if a woman shaves her head off is she not accepting of herself, i mean hair grows and she chopped it off, its easier to maintain right? is she now ashamed of her natural hair? women of all colors alter their hair, its our right as women to be diverse
Is it really an individual choice if you weren't the one who made it? Your mother made the decision to relax for you. It's not like you weighed both sides, having experienced both, and then decided relaxed was easier/better for you.
And as far as the bolded, how do you know that your hair is more manageable relaxed if you've haven't ever experienced a head full of natural hair? You said your new growth is "just a little more difficult to maintain" but that definitely doesn't mean having a whole head of natural hair would be. It could just mean that having both at the same time is difficult.
Anyway, the relaxed/natural debate is going to continue on as long as the overwhelming majority of black women continue to relax.
I personally think it's sad (and quite telling) that there are hordes of grown women who don't know/remember their natural texture or think that nappy hair is so disgusting that they have to get in my face and tell me how ugly they think my hair is. I guess when that stops happening, I'll stop being a natural advocate. Then I'll know it's just another hairstyle, not a community wide problem with self-acceptance.
Regardless if mama made the initial decision, as a grown woman I always have the decision to go natural. Although my hair was relaxed as a young child, I remember my natural hair, and it was no parade believe me. I remember crying my eyes out cause my mama had to detangle my hair, and til this day I'm still tender-headed. Granted all she had to work with was blue magic and some water. I was old enough to remember my natural hair. Relaxing doesn't permanently alter your hair type, so one can always change their mind, if that's their choice.
You mean to tell me that when Black women stop having a problem with you natural hair, you will stop having a problem with their relaxed hair. It has stop somewhere and with someone. This community promotes hair care with whatever you want to do with your hair. You or no other natural is better because you don't chemically alter the texture of your hair.
I didn't know relaxing was a community wide problem. I just can't understand for life of me why other women have a problem with the way someone else chooses to do their hair. Even if it looks a hot mess, if they're comfortable with it, let that person be. You see atrocities daily whether it be hair, style, or whatever. I feel like this, if almighty, omniscient God gave me free will to make decisions affecting my life, then no man on this Earth can tell me or try to force their viewpoint on me.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm not advocating for relaxed hair, rather freedom of choice. Hair is beautiful when taken care of regardless if it's relaxed or natural. Appreciate that basic right that whatever you see fit to do with your hair, you're allowed to do that without anyone forcing you to do otherwise.
I think everyone has the right to do whatever they want with their hair. And, I'd be completely ok with relaxing if it were just a hair style choice, but it's not.
I constantly hear comments like...
"why don't you comb your hair?"
"why do you leave the house looking like that?"
"you need to get that nappy s*** relaxed"
"you would be so pretty if your hair were relaxed"
"I would put a relaxer on my baby's hair if it were nappy, I don't care how old she is, good thing she has good hair and doesn't need one"
...so I know relaxing isn't just a style choice. For a lot of people it's a way to fix, what they consider, a problem. Relaxed hair is pretty, desirable, and better...nappy hair is ugly, undesirable, and a curse. I will be against relaxers until natural/nappy hair is looked upon just as positively as relaxed hair by a majority of the black community.
I totally agree with this. I didn't want to post it here since it's so long, but I just posted a thread about my own reasons for relaxing (http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=338667). I didn't know this was all taken so seriously!
I think everyone has the right to do whatever they want with their hair. And, I'd be completely ok with relaxing if it were just a hair style choice, but it's not.
I constantly hear comments like...
"why don't you comb your hair?"
"why do you leave the house looking like that?"
"you need to get that nappy s*** relaxed"
"you would be so pretty if your hair were relaxed"
"I would put a relaxer on my baby's hair if it were nappy, I don't care how old she is, good thing she has good hair and doesn't need one"
...so I know relaxing isn't just a style choice. For a lot of people it's a way to fix, what they consider, a problem. Relaxed hair is pretty, desirable, and better...nappy hair is ugly, undesirable, and a curse. I will be against relaxers until natural/nappy hair is looked upon just as positively as relaxed hair by a majority of the black community.
I think everyone has the right to do whatever they want with their hair. And, I'd be completely ok with relaxing if it were just a hair style choice, but it's not.
I constantly hear comments like...
"why don't you comb your hair?"
"why do you leave the house looking like that?"
"you need to get that nappy s*** relaxed"
"you would be so pretty if your hair were relaxed"
"I would put a relaxer on my baby's hair if it were nappy, I don't care how old she is, good thing she has good hair and doesn't need one"
...so I know relaxing isn't just a style choice. For a lot of people it's a way to fix, what they consider, a problem. Relaxed hair is pretty, desirable, and better...nappy hair is ugly, undesirable, and a curse. I will be against relaxers until natural/nappy hair is looked upon just as positively as relaxed hair by a majority of the black community.
Neither did I. But I'm through with this debate. On to learn how to care for my hair. Bye ladies.
i could care less if you were completely ok with relaxing
..u have no clue why most relax.
u have a lot of hangups and seem to get offended at the least slightest thing
and turn everything into a lightskin vs darkskin, relaxed vs natural, etc vs etc. are u on the right board since so much here disdains u and offends u...
go ahead and take your stand ..start at the malls, the BSS, and salons. u sitting on the hairboard being mad against the relaxed is doin nothing.
Oh lawd. Not another relaxed vs. natural debate.
Why does everyone get so heated about this? I guess I'm one of few that could care less if a sista chose to be relaxed or natural. I usually compliment anyone that has a beautiful head of hair (relaxed, natural, braided, etc.) If I don't have anything good to say, I K.I.M.