IF I HAD HER HAIR...........

Mandy4610

Mandy4610

Well-Known Member
Ok, so there is this girl I know. She has BSL hair.. the problem is it is very thin and unhealthy on the ends. She has WNG, her hair needs some major TLC. I can tell she has really nice hair and it would do really well if she took care of it. If I had that girls hair, the first thing I would do is relax the NG and then cut off a few inches every now and then until the ends are healthy again. I feel so frustrated with people who are blessed with such beautiful hair but they don't take good care of it and they let it get so unhealthy:wallbash::wallbash:.
I have thought of giving her advice ( I have actually given her a few pointers but she won't do a thing for her hair).
I feel like ripping her head off of her and putting it back on after I have given that head some TLC.
What do you think ladies? Should I just gather up my guts and tell her how awful her hair looks:rolleyes: and how beautiful it will be if it is well cared for?

ETA:Sorry ladies that I was not clear when I initially posted the above. I am not jealous of her hair by any means, I love my hair just the way it is and I am not wanting hers for myself. I just want to help her because I love doing hair and when I see unhealthy hair (my own included) I want or would like to do something about it. I have always done other peoples hair in the past and maybe thats why I always feel like that. I am not a professional by any means, I just like to help when I can.
Judging by yall's reactions, I should just keep my optimism to myself. and not try to rescue everyone's hair and come out looking like a jealous freak. NO HARD FEELINGS.
 
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I would casually tell her about this fabulous site.Should could be relying on stylists to do her hair, and we all know that all stylists don't really care for the health of our hair.There are a few good one's though...So send her in here.
 
How do you know shes not transitioning? Having a lot of new growth can leave your ends looking thin and uneven bc of the shrinkage at the roots.

I wouldn't say anything to her. You don't know how she is going to react. She might bite your head off. Especially since her hair is BSL and yours isn't. That's why I don't offer unsolicited hair advice. People never see my hair so they might feel well who are you to give hair advice? For all we know you could be bald headed. They'll see in due time. I think you should lead by example.
 
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glamazon386 said:
How do you know shes not transitioning? Having a lot of new growth can leave your ends looking thin and uneven bc of the shrinkage at the roots.

I wouldn't say anything to her. You don't know how she is going to react. She might bite your head off. Especially since her hair is BSL and yours isn't. That's why I don't offer unsolicited hair advice. People never see my hair so they might feel well who are you to give hair advice? For all we know you could be bald headed. They'll see in due time. I think you should lead by example.
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She is not transitioning, but even if she was, she could take better care of it. Her hair is visibly dry. I talk hair with her alot so I know what she is and is not doing. I get the feeling that she thinks she is doing well with it, but I do not want to correct her, I don't know her that well to feel comfortable. I think she loves her hair she just doesn't know what to do with it.:nono::nono:. Maybe I should try asking her to come to the BSS with me then we can buy some products together and I can explain what does what, without really saying anything about her hair.
 
Mandy4610 said:
Maybe I should try asking her to come to the BSS with me then we can buy some products together and I can explain what does what, without really saying anything about her hair.
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Uhhhh unless she is your best friend or something, I'd just let it go.
 
I don't think its right to judge that girl. You don't know her situation, you don't know what she is doing. she could be transitioning, she could be avoiding heat, she could just be going through a rough patch. Who are you to judge her though? Are yall friends or close? The best you can do is take care of your own hair, so when you do get to whatever length she is you can do whatever you want to it.

ETA: she must have been doing something to get to the length she was, so its not like she is bald or something. BTW You don't need her hair to accomplish her goals.
 
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Like someone said just lead by examlpe. You can't make her take care of her hair! In her eyes she's fine. I know that feeling of wanting to save everybody's hair but in the end you have to let that person be. If she sees you taking care of your hair and your progress maybe she will come around. That's even if she's interested. Use that ambition on yourself, i would.
 
Honestly, just mind your own business..... Keep taking care of your hair and if she starts to ask about it, then tell her.
 
You tried telling her that's all you can do. What she does with her hair is her business. Nothing else you can do. I would let it go if I were you, nothing to get yourself worked up over.
 
I would refer her this site and let her make her own decision, let her learn on her own. You can give people advice but they don't have to follow it.
 
al00fone said:
I don't think its right to judge that girl. You don't know her situation, you don't know what she is doing. she could be transitioning, she could be avoiding heat, she could just be going through a rough patch. Who are you to judge her though? Are yall friends or close? The best you can do is take care of your own hair, so when you do get to whatever length she is you can do whatever you want to it.

ETA: she must have been doing something to get to the length she was, so its not like she is bald or something. BTW You don't need her hair to accomplish her goals.
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Uhhh, I am not judging her and I know I don't need her hair to accomplish my goals. I don't think its wrong to be concerned for another person's hair. I know she loves her hair because she likes to talk about it and she talks to me about products. I don't think its wrong to help her figure things out.
 
I think you should mind your business. She must be doing something right if her her is BSL. Or maybe she isnt doing a thing...who knows? Maybe she doesnt have time to worry about her hair and has other things that are troubling her right now. The point is, that if she didnt ask you for advice regarding her hair, leave her be. :perplexed
 
Uh oh, I see where this thread is going...OP..if you feel the need to say something, then do so. But dont come back on here and act suprised if she cusses you out.
 
Mandy4610 said:
It would be easy to mind my own business if she didn't talk to me about her hair.
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I think you were getting the "butt out" comments because in you initial posts it wasn't clear that she was talking to you about her hair.

I think you should continue to talk to her if she initiates the conversation. Is she asking for advice or just having a general conversation about hair? If she is asking for advice you can give advice. Just do not get over-invested in whether or not she takes your advice because, ultimately, it is her decision.
 
Mandy4610 said:
Ok, so there is this girl I know. She has BSL hair.. the problem is it is very thin and unhealthy on the ends. She has WNG, her hair needs some major TLC. I can tell she has really nice hair and it would do really well if she took care of it. If I had that girls hair, the first thing I would do is relax the NG and then cut off a few inches every now and then until the ends are healthy again. I feel so frustrated with people who are blessed with such beautiful hair but they don't take good care of it and they let it get so unhealthy:wallbash::wallbash:.
I have thought of giving her advice ( I have actually given her a few pointers but she won't do a thing for her hair).
I feel like ripping her head off of her and putting it back on after I have given that head some TLC.
What do you think ladies? Should I just gather up my guts and tell her how awful her hair looks:rolleyes: and how beautiful it will be if it is well cared for?
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Sweetie ....don't take it personal ........You asked a direct question now people are giving their opinion...Not against you ..... You obvisouly feel strongly about this so ....follow your heart..Just be tactful ...not to hurt her feelings....
 
SmartyPants said:
I think you were getting the "butt out" comments because in you initial posts it wasn't clear that she was talking to you about her hair.

I think you should continue to talk to her if she initiates the conversation. Is she asking for advice or just having a general conversation about hair? If she is asking for advice you can give advice. Just do not get over-invested in whether or not she takes your advice because, ultimately, it is her decision.
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This is true. Cause the only thing I got from the initial post is "She has long, beautiful hair that I want to rip out and glue to my head, by the way it looks bad and dry, should I tell her?"
 
Mandy4610 said:
It would be easy to mind my own business if she didn't talk to me about her hair.
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Thats not what you stated in your orginal post. What you said is, If I had her hair....it came off as a jealous rant about a chick who has a friend with long damaged hair. If it was as damaged like you say, Why would you want it anyway?
 
Gin said:
This is true. Cause the only thing I got from the initial post is "She has long, beautiful hair that I want to rip out and glue to my head, by the way it looks bad and dry, should I tell her?"
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That's what I got too. And If I was the girl and somebody came and told me that I'd be ready to :catfight:.
 
gymfreak336 said:
Thats not what you stated in your orginal post. What you said is, If I had her hair....it came off as a jealous rant about a chick who has a friend with long damaged hair. If it was as damaged like you say, Why would you want it anyway?
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:thatsall:
 
I saw a lady like that today. She was prob MBL or right at it. You could tell that her hair was overprocessed - flat, lifeless, glued to her head. However, her ends weren't all the way jacked (she prob gets a reg dusting/trim)- but... w/a lil LHCF in her life, her hair could be FABULOUS! But I had my hair in my wannabe Badu wrap (pre-poo underneath) & I could just tell she wouldn't have been hearing anything that I was saying about hair. Oh well...:ohwell:
 
First be tactful when you speak to her about her hair, don't just come out and tell her how scraggly her ends look. Wait until she brings up the hair conversation then tell her what you do to your hair and then direct her to the website. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
 
Sorry ladies that I was not clear. I am not jealous of her hair by any means and I am not wanting it for myself. I just want to help her because I love doing hair and when I see unhealthy hair (my own included) I want or would like to do something about it. I have always done other peoples hair in the past and maybe thats why I always feel like that. I am not a professional by any means, I just like to help when I can.
Judging by yall's reactions, I should just keep my optimism to myself:grin:. and not try to rescue everyone's hair and come out like a jealous freak:lachen::lachen: NO HARD FEELINGS.
 
As one poster stated earlier, you should lead by example! Grow your hair to BSL and keep your ends looking fabulous. And then give her your advice and tips on how to have healthy BSL hair. She will be more apt to listen to your advice. I have MBL hair and to be honest, if you got in my face with your chin length hair, trying to tell me what I need to do to have healthy MBL hair I would laugh in your face and probably hurt your feelings with my response.
 
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