IF I HAD HER HAIR...........

[lisana]

A couple of people already mentioned that you should drop the name of the site to her. i think that's a great idea if you let her know about this site and that would be a great start for her!

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Honestly, just mind your own business..... Keep taking care of your hair and if she starts to ask about it, then tell her.

Now this is a post that I can agree with! I mean the OP doesn't even have SL or longer hair.

Who are we to give advice to people who may or may not ask for it? Especially if their hair is longer than ours. I mean yes, OP's maybe healthier. But I think sometimes we can overstep our bounds and try to give advice to people and we aren't even a full example of the advice that we are giving!

When the OP gets hair that's both longer and healthier than the girl in question, then that's when I think that the advice will be well taken.

 

[cocoaluv]

I understand what you mean. I see women with messed up hair all the time but I keep my opinion to myself. At the most I would tell her about the website but thats all. Just continue to take care of your own hair and only when she asks "whats your secret" then should u tell her the deal.

 

[Mandy4610]

Now this is a post that I can agree with! I mean the OP doesn't even have SL or longer hair.

Who are we to give advice to people who may or may not ask for it? Especially if their hair is longer than ours. I mean yes, OP's maybe healthier. But I think sometimes we can overstep our bounds and try to give advice to people and we aren't even a full example of the advice that we are giving!

When the OP gets hair that's both longer and healthier than the girl in question, then that's when I think that the advice will be well taken.

Please read my other posts in this thread. I am just trying to help this girl out because she is talking to me about her hair. It had nothing to do with how long or healthy my own hair is, its just about helping her. If someone asks or talks to me about their hair, I give them the info whether they have healthier/longer hair than me or not. Its not a competition or anything, its just helping each other out, thats all.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Please read my other posts in this thread. I am just trying to help this girl out because she is talking to me about her hair. It had nothing to do with how long or healthy my own hair is, its just about helping her. If someone asks or talks to me about their hair, I give them the info whether they have healthier/longer hair than me or not. Its not a competition or anything, its just helping each other out, thats all.

Then tell her about the site and leave her be!

Again, until people who are giving the advice a full example of what they are giving, then the advice will not be taken, it will fall on deaf ears.

People ask people all the time for advice. But it doesn't mean they are going to take it. But if your hair start getting longer and stronger than hers, and you still telling her about the site, I bet she will start taking it then!

 

[belleama]

Please read my other posts in this thread. I am just trying to help this girl out because she is talking to me about her hair. It had nothing to do with how long or healthy my own hair is, its just about helping her. If someone asks or talks to me about their hair, I give them the info whether they have healthier/longer hair than me or not. Its not a competition or anything, its just helping each other out, thats all.

I have to agree with the other ladies. Leave the girl be. If she really wanted your advice she would've asked for it and/or taken some initiative on her own.

Now regarding advice unless the person has what I want I really don't care what they have to say. That may not work in every instance but I figure if the person giving the advice knew so much they'd already have whatever it is they're telling me how to get.

 

[Mandy4610]

We all learn alot from this site and sometimes we don't achieve the length or health of hair that others do using the same advise. Just because I don't have the results from that advice does not mean the same advice won't work for someone else. Just my opinion. Anyway, I have not given this girl any advice, I have just pointed her in the direction where she can find what she is looking for. I am no expert and I don't try to be. I do what I have to for my hair and thats it. I learn from others and hope that others can too. I pointed this girl in the direction where she can get the right help, whether she does that or not is entirely up to her. I am not pushing anything on her, just pointing her in the right direction when she talks to me about her hair.
BTW. She knows her hair needs help, so she won't get hurt by my trying to be helpful.

 

[Be Positive]

"A closed mouth catches no flies"-Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)

 

[Mandy4610]

OK, YALL CAN CONTINUE SHOOTING BULLETS AT ME, BUT I WAS NOT MEANING ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT THIS. I AM TRYING TO HELP THIS GIRL OUT, THATS ALL. SHE ASKS QUESTIONS AND I ANSWER THEM. I AM NOT FORCING HER TO DO ANYTHING OR GET INTO ANYTHING. I AM GIVING HER INFO SO SHE CAN CHOOSE TO DO WITH IT WHATEVER SHE WANTS. ALL I WAS SAYING IS WHAT I WOULD DO, NOT WHAT I THINK SHE SHOULD DO. THATS ALL FOLKS. AINT WE SUPPOSED TO HELP EACH OTHER GROW HAIR? MY HAIR MAY NOT BE ANY MORE HEALTHY THAN HERS, BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT. I HAVE NOT TOLD HER WHAT TO DO, BUT SOMETIMES BEING HONEST HELPS PEOPLE RATHER THAN SUGAR COATING THINGS. SHE IS OPEN TO HEARING ABOUT STUFF, BUT SHE CHOOSES WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO. I DON'T MEAN NO HARM TO HER AT ALL LADIES SO PLEASE CHILL.

 

[amwcah]

I didn't get the impression that you envied her hair at all. I read your OP and then the ETA. I have not read the views of the other posters at all. People will always make more than a situation then what it really is.

Why not ask her if you could do her hair? Explain what you would do to her hair and why. I know how you feel. I try to give advice to my Mom all the time and she just won't listen. On the otherhand, my sister questions me to death about her hair and what she should do.

 

[Mandy4610]

I didn't get the impression that you envied her hair at all. I read your OP and then the ETA. I have not read the views of the other posters at all. People will always make more than a situation then what it really is.

Why not ask her if you could do her hair? Explain what you would do to her hair and why. I know how you feel. I try to give advice to my Mom all the time and she just won't listen. On the otherhand, my sister questions me to death about her hair and what she should do.

THANK YOU

 

[amwcah]

THANK YOU

Your welcome! Okay, I read some of the previous post and all I can say is WOW! Sometimes I just get so upset by the things people say on here.

I don't think you need to further explain yourself or your hair, intentions, etc.

Mandy4610 keep your head up and do what you feel is right!!!!!

 

[silkii_locks]

Your welcome! Okay, I read some of the previous post and all I can say is WOW! Sometimes I just get so upset by the things people say on here.

I don't think you need to further explain yourself or your hair, intentions, etc.

Mandy4610 keep your head up and do what you feel is right!!!!!

I agree with this. I understand exactly what you (Mandy) were trying to say. It doesn't matter how long your hair is, it looks very healthy and I'm sure you read enough on this site to know what she may be doing wrong, so I don't think you're not a position to give her advice just b/c her hair is longer than yours. I see ladies with damaged hair all the time some with much longer, much thicker hair than mine. I too would like to see all my Sistahs with nice healthy hair as well, but I probably wouldn't say anything, bc you never know how people may react, even though all you're trying to do is help.

 

[lisana]

girl, I understand where you were coming from....folks need to get off yo jockseriously, though, I would probably have the same feelings as you if I saw a girl with long but damaged hair. I would think "dang, wasted potential, if I was blessed with that length I would do x,y,z" You are just being honest and I think it's fine. Speaking thru a messageboard can be rough because folks can so easily misinterpret and take offense when there is no need to. I still think you should tell her about this site, though, just tell her you know of a great site with great hair care tips for sistas and the site always is very entertaining Heck, she may even WANT you all up in her head...there are many woman who would love for someone to be their personal,FREE beautician. Just whatever you do, be smooth about it...do not under any circumstances let her know that you think her hair is kinda jacked up. be smooth, girly...SMOOTH!

 

[locabouthair]

As one poster stated earlier, you should lead by example! Grow your hair to BSL and keep your ends looking fabulous. And then give her your advice and tips on how to have healthy BSL hair. She will be more apt to listen to your advice. I have MBL hair and to be honest, if you got in my face with your chin length hair, trying to tell me what I need to do to have healthy MBL hair I would laugh in your face and probably hurt your feelings with my response.

That's why until my hair gets healthy, I don't tell anyone about their hair. You're not going to take financial advice form someone who's always broke, u know? OP, I think your hair is thick and healthy looking but when your hair starts growing more she will probably be more willing to ask you about your regimen and take advice from you. I think you should just give her the link to the site.

 

[Lovelylocs]

Mandy, what kinds of things does she tell you about her hair? What is her regimen like?

And ladies, it looks like Mandy just joined LHCF like 6 months ago. You know hair does not usually grow from chin length to brastrap in one month. Give her a break.

 

[Butterfly08]

Mandy, what kinds of things does she tell you about her hair? What is her regimen like?

And ladies, it looks like Mandy just joined LHCF like 6 months ago. You know hair does not usually grow from chin length to brastrap in one month. Give her a break.

Agreed.

 

[TaurusAngel]

Well, although I'm new, I think that if you two are good enough friends that you can be honest with one another, then theres nothing wrong with mentioning it to her. If you don't think she'll take it well, then maybe not.

As far as the hair lengths go, you two could both help each other in that aspect, you growing and she restoring.

 

[Mandy4610]

This is true. Cause the only thing I got from the initial post is "She has long, beautiful hair that I want to rip out and glue to my head, by the way it looks bad and dry, should I tell her?"

lachen:

 

[PureSilver]

You've received some wonderful advice and i agree with what was said before. I feel your pain with her having such healthy hair and not do a thing to care for it properly.

You can definately lead by example tho.

 

[Mandy4610]

Your welcome! Okay, I read some of the previous post and all I can say is WOW! Sometimes I just get so upset by the things people say on here.

I don't think you need to further explain yourself or your hair, intentions, etc.

Mandy4610 keep your head up and do what you feel is right!!!!!

THANK YOU GIRL, WILL DO

 

[Mandy4610]

I agree with this. I understand exactly what you (Mandy) were trying to say. It doesn't matter how long your hair is, it looks very healthy and I'm sure you read enough on this site to know what she may be doing wrong, so I don't think you're not a position to give her advice just b/c her hair is longer than yours. I see ladies with damaged hair all the time some with much longer, much thicker hair than mine. I too would like to see all my Sistahs with nice healthy hair as well, but I probably wouldn't say anything, bc you never know how people may react, even though all you're trying to do is help.

THANKS GIRL!!!, I AM NOT EVEN TRYING TI GIVE HER ADVICE, I JUST POINT HER IN THE DIRECTION WHERE SHE CAN GET IT, BUT I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. My hair does not have to be perfect for me to be able to advise someone about hair, what does not work for me may work for them and vice versa.

 

[glamazon386]

THANKS GIRL!!!, I AM NOT EVEN TRYING TI GIVE HER ADVICE, I JUST POINT HER IN THE DIRECTION WHERE SHE CAN GET IT, BUT I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. My hair does not have to be perfect for me to be able to advise someone about hair, what does not work for me may work for them and vice versa.

I don't think that was the point. Nobody said your hair had to perfect to give advice. The point was that if somebody had long hair, they might not take so kindly to somebody with short hair giving them advice. It doesn't mean that your advice may not be valid, because I'm sure it is. The person on the receiving end just may not see it that way because they don't see any proof coming from you. That's like giving advice about kids when you don't have any. Some people might look at you like you don't know what you're talking about or respond negatively.

 

[Mandy4610]

I don't think that was the point. Nobody said your hair had to perfect to give advice. The point was that if somebody had long hair, they might not take so kindly to somebody with short hair giving them advice. It doesn't mean that your advice may not be valid, because I'm sure it is. The person on the receiving end just may not see it that way because they don't see any proof coming from you. That's like giving advice about kids when you don't have any. Some people might look at you like you don't know what you're talking about or respond negatively.

OK. I SEE.

 

[Mandy4610]

As one poster stated earlier, you should lead by example! Grow your hair to BSL and keep your ends looking fabulous. And then give her your advice and tips on how to have healthy BSL hair. She will be more apt to listen to your advice. I have MBL hair and to be honest, if you got in my face with your chin length hair, trying to tell me what I need to do to have healthy MBL hair I would laugh in your face and probably hurt your feelings with my response.

ITS ONLY CHIN LENGTH AND I LOVE EVERY INCHE OF IT.

 

[Theo]

Whoa... ya'll are harsh! I didn't get the sense that the OP was envious of her friends hair at all. To the OP: you know your friend, we don't. Some people take better to criticism than others so like any sensible person, use wisdom and discretion when approaching the situation. I'm pretty sure she's seen healthy hair, and if the situation is as bad as you've described it to be, she knows if she's got it or not. It can be as simple as offering to to trim her edges for her the next time she washes (start small and I help my friends out with their hair all the time... none of them bite my head off about it, they're generally very grateful.) Or if she has a birthday coming up or something, maybe a gift basket with some products. It depends how close you are and how much effort you want to put into it. I'm the type of person that will offer help and assistance to anyone I care enough about to call my friend, with little to no hesitation, so this behavior wouldn't be out of the ordinary for me... I don't know how things are for you.

 

[aloof one]

Uhhh, I am not judging her and I know I don't need her hair to accomplish my goals. I don't think its wrong to be concerned for another person's hair. I know she loves her hair because she likes to talk about it and she talks to me about products. I don't think its wrong to help her figure things out.

I think you're confused and/or confusing people.
You never mentioned this girl talking about her hair once in the OP.
Your hair is barely chin length, so its not like she should feel inclined to listen to your advice- I wouldn't just like Pinkskates said. Nothing is wrong with SL hair, its just the fact that your advice is not only unsolicited, it just doesn't make sense that you care so much when you're not even where she is yet.

 

[Isis]

Ok, so there is this girl I know. She has BSL hair.. the problem is it is very thin and unhealthy on the ends. She has WNG, her hair needs some major TLC. I can tell she has really nice hair and it would do really well if she took care of it. If I had that girls hair, the first thing I would do is relax the NG and then cut off a few inches every now and then until the ends are healthy again. I feel so frustrated with people who are blessed with such beautiful hair but they don't take good care of it and they let it get so unhealthy.
I have thought of giving her advice ( I have actually given her a few pointers but she won't do a thing for her hair).
I feel like ripping her head off of her and putting it back on after I have given that head some TLC.
What do you think ladies? Should I just gather up my guts and tell her how awful her hair looks and how beautiful it will be if it is well cared for?

ETA:Sorry ladies that I was not clear when I initially posted the above. I am not jealous of her hair by any means, I love my hair just the way it is and I am not wanting hers for myself. I just want to help her because I love doing hair and when I see unhealthy hair (my own included) I want or would like to do something about it. I have always done other peoples hair in the past and maybe thats why I always feel like that. I am not a professional by any means, I just like to help when I can.
Judging by yall's reactions, I should just keep my optimism to myself. and not try to rescue everyone's hair and come out looking like a jealous freak. NO HARD FEELINGS.

The best way you can help her (or anyone) is by being a good example yourself of having healthy, beautiful hair. Now, if she asks you for help, then by all means, do so. She would appreciate it too. Otherwise it's best to keep your suggestions to yourself, since you would be crossing another person's personal boundaries.

 

[mango387]

To be fair, I did not think the OP was envious. Numerous times on LHCF (I've been here for a second too), I have seen members say that people can have long hair w/ scraggly ends that distort the overall look of the hair. I do not think one should ever just offer advice on a touchy issue such as hair, but I would give the LHCF website.

On a side note, OP, I think people might have responded as they did partially because the original post actually had harsh language.

 

[delitefulmane]

THE END

I think the meaning has been determined!! Let's spread the love!!