My mom is relaxing her hair again after 2 weeks post!

[HoneyDew]

I am only posting here because I know you ladies will feel my pain.

My mom had been wearing different sets of braids for about 6 months. She was ready to get them removed and wanted me to relax her hair about a week after.

I relaxed her with Profectiv regular and gave her a light protein treatment and deep conditioner. I gave her hair so much TLC that day - using my higher quality products. Today, 2 weeks later, we were out and she told me that my sister is giving her a touch up today. I was like

I said "I just gave you one, Mom!" and she said that her hair reverted. I touched it and although her roots were kinda thick - SHE DID NOT NEED MORE CHEMICALS. I did not say anything else.

Then later she told me that she is so scared because she has been noticing pieces of her hair breaking and more shedding than normal. I noticed that her ends did not look that great.

Also when she was driving, the back of her head was rubbing against the seat constantly making her hair stick up. That is where she is getting a lot of the breakage!!! I told her that she should put a silk scarf or something over her seat or put her hair up while she drives.

But, she will not listen to me!!! I don't know what to do. If it was anyone else, I would just let them be, but it is hard because it is my mom.

I really wish she would let me give her some pointers. I don't have long hair, but I really do work well in keeping what I do have healthy and strong. I know I could give her some helpful pointers. But, since I have been named the Hair Nazi, I just hush.

I know there is not much you guys can suggest or say, but I knew you guys would at least understand my feelings.

 

[gymfreak336]

I feel ya Honeydew. I know it is fustrating to see the people close to you ruin their hair and risk permanent damage by overdoing chemicals and all other types of things. My sister can be like that. I show her different ways to do her hair and as soon as she goes back to VA, she starts ruining it again. Stories like this just give me the motivation to keep pushing for my goals. I figure that even though my sisters might not ever get it, their future daughters will need me even more. I hope that one day when you hair is touching your butt, they will finally listen with open minds and ears. Keep on growing

I hope your mom doesn't damage her scalp permanently.

 

[patient1]

Can you talk to your sister? Tell her to whip some shea aloe up and put in their like it's a relaxer. Smooth it on and everything then give your mom a good blowdry and flat iron afterwards.

The placebo effect, nah mean?

Oh, and slap a silk scarf on that headrest for her. That thing is a KILLER!!!

p1

 

[gymfreak336]

Can you talk to your sister? Tell her to whip some shea aloe up and put in their like it's a relaxer. Smooth it on and everything then give your mom a good blowdry and flat iron afterwards.

The placebo effect, nah mean?

Oh, and slap a silk scarf on that headrest for her. That thing is a KILLER!!!

p1

Wow, great idea. I should try that 8 weeks post as a deep conditioning treatment. Do I smell another hair2 heaven creating in the works?

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Awww man, nothing to say but I absolutely know how you feel. Maybe you can DC her and flat iron her hair really well.

 

[Bint Yusef]

My mom does it 30 minutes post, if it didnt take the first time.

She also rakes it all the way thru everytime.

 

[HoneyDew]

Awww man, nothing to say but I absolutely know how you feel. Maybe you can DC her and flat iron her hair really well.

That's all she needs!! I asked her to come in to my house before she left and I gave her a FHI (yep my baby) and some really good conditioners. I also whipped up a nice protein concoction that I like to use for my hair. A relaxer will be devastating for her right now!!!

 

[Creatividual]

I feel ya Honeydew. I know it is fustrating to see the people close to you ruin their hair and risk permanent damage by overdoing chemicals and all other types of things. My sister can be like that. I show her different ways to do her hair and as soon as she goes back to VA, she starts ruining it again. Stories like this just give me the motivation to keep pushing for my goals. I figure that even though my sisters might not ever get it, their future daughters will need me even more. I hope that one day when you hair is touching your butt, they will finally listen with open minds and ears. Keep on growing

I hope your mom doesn't damage her scalp permanently.

Well said Gymfreak! I feel your pain Honeydew. My younger sister has beautiful, thick hair and but she doesn't take good care of it so it's thinning and breaking off badly in the back. I swear she does everything to destroy it! I'll be there if she ever wants some sound hair advice but until then what can you do?

 

[shunta]

Aww HoneyDew, well at least you tried. Just try to talk her out of it one more time and see what happens. Just try to convince her that more chemicals right now (relaxers and such) is only gonna make her problem worse. I hope you can talk her out of it. Good luck, sweetie.

She is so lucky to have you as a daughter. You seem like such a sweet person.

 

[Cocotte]

Dont worry your mom will come around girl. My mom is premenouposal and she has been having pieces of broken hair fall out, In truth, that scared the hell out of both of us So I suggested weekly deep conditioners and to moisterize lighthly.....That helped her but her hair was still like breaking off in pieces I mean you could literally see through her hair......erplexed I knew she would not go with what I'm about to say, but I told her to ease off with the relaxers for a while and to my surprise she listened ever since my mom's hair has been doing real well. My mom uses the fermodyl I bought for her thanks to you And this is so weird, I'm afraid I'll get laughed at but my mom says her hair likes baby oil But I wont even go there and try that on my hair.
I guess what works for her hair wont wont for me

 

[chayil0427]

Yikes...that's distressing. As was said its hard when those you care about are ruining their hair.

Yet, I believe that the best thing you can do is take wonderful care of your hair and have a beautiful long, thick, healthy, shiny head of hair. Then when they look at you and admire/envy what you have ... theyll be more apt to listen to your advice.

You have beautiful hair and the longer it grows the more your mom will want to know what you've been doing.

Meanwhile just say a pray that God preserves her hair in spite of.

Chayil

 

[HoneyDew]

My mom does it 30 minutes post, if it didnt take the first time.

She also rakes it all the way thru everytime.

dang. doesn't make you cringe! I think my mom has some thought in her head that her hair has to be BONE straight at all times.

When I was with her, I saw 2 stands of shedded hair. I grabbed them and (thank goodness) they had the white bulb at the top and they were not broken hairs. But I showed her that her hair was not at all elastic. Those 2 stands snapped as soon as I put ANY pressure on them. I did that to show here that she needs to really concentrate on conditioning. I hope she listens.

Thanks guys. Patient1, that is a GREAT idea. I am going to call my sister now. She is more aggressive about hair than I am. Maybe she can talk some sense into my mom.

 

[HoneyDew]

Yikes...that's distressing. As was said its hard when those you care about are ruining their hair.

Yet, I believe that the best thing you can do is take wonderful care of your hair and have a beautiful long, thick, healthy, shiny head of hair. Then when they look at you and admire/envy what you have ... theyll be more apt to listen to your advice.

You have beautiful hair and the longer it grows the more your mom will want to know what you've been doing.

Meanwhile just say a pray that God preserves her hair in spite of.

Chayil

My sister mentioned to me a few weeks ago that we should just put some money together and get my mom a nice hair care package. She is a "grease is moisture" person, you know. She also hates to spend money. I think I may have to take my sister up on that one. I could even throw in some satin scarfs. I did give her some satin covered foam rollers and she told me she uses them. I was happy about that.

 

[Bint Yusef]

dang. doesn't make you cringe! I think my mom has some thought in her head that her hair has to be BONE straight at all times.

When I was with her, I saw 2 stands of shedded hair. I grabbed them and (thank goodness) they had the white bulb at the top and they were not broken hairs. But I showed her that her hair was not at all elastic. Those 2 stands snapped as soon as I put ANY pressure on them. I did that to show here that she needs to really concentrate on conditioning. I hope she listens.

Thanks guys. Patient1, that is a GREAT idea. I am going to call my sister now. She is more aggressive about hair than I am. Maybe she can talk some sense into my mom.

Her hair so damaged. Im surprised she has any left. Its about collarbone length.

She is finally starting to think about doing old lady cute salt and pepper twa. Im nudging her towards that. She told me has braids in right now, so at least her scalp has some relief.

She likes to get her hair really straight. Its funny, she is the on that encouraged me to go natural.

 

[chayil0427]

My sister mentioned to me a few weeks ago that we should just put some money together and get my mom a nice hair care package. She is a "grease is moisture" person, you know. She also hates to spend money. I think I may have to take my sister up on that one. I could even throw in some satin scarfs. I did give her some satin covered foam rollers and she told me she uses them. I was happy about that.

that sounds like a wonderful idea.

 

[sareca]

My mom does it 30 minutes post, if it didnt take the first time.

She also rakes it all the way thru everytime.

*faints*

 

[StrawberryQueen]

Just let her do it, and help her get hair back into shape later. My mom is the same way, she won't take any advice I give her about her hair, but is always complaining about it breaking.

 

[alundra]

Just let her do it, and help her get hair back into shape later. My mom is the same way, she won't take any advice I give her about her hair, but is always complaining about it breaking.

My mom is like that too! And she is also a "grease is a moisture" person. She hasn't washed her hair in weeks. She keeps asking me to wash it for her, but when I get ready to, she will come up with some excuse!

 

[Kurlee]

I have a girlfriend who dies this. HER HAIR IS GORGEOUS! But she trims constantly and keeps it short. Bu tme personally, every two weeks? I'd be bald