OK, forum. Straight up question!
What’s your honest opinion on women are "meh" about kids but have one because their partner really wants one. I have my own, but I want yours first.
My opinion?
Ewww. Such a BAD idea.
Used to work w/a woman that did this. She was constantly overwhelmed by her spouse, son, life. Constantly seeking ANYONE to care for her child. I mean she'd snatch up folks at the daycare, and ask them if they'd sit for her. erplexed Kids party entertainers, whoever seemed good w/kids. She asked my dh, once. (No, he did not, but yeah--she asked).
No concern whatsoever for her child's safety, etc. Half the folks she didn't know from Adam, and asked any age, sex, etc. But that happens, when someone does not make the decision to have a child, from their right mind (so to speak).
I felt like she was the reactionary mother, because she reacted to her husband's request to have a child--instead of making a conscious decision based on her authentic wants, needs, etc.
Not the case for the woman, I speak of--but many abuse scenarios are born out of situations where one parent or the other, does not really want children.
she may snap one day, or just up and leave. i wonder does her DH help out a lot? or did he just wants someone to carry on his name?
I don't know about the numbers of women who have children just because the man wants one. But I think a lot of women have children just because they think it's what they're supposed to do rather than doing it because they really want to be mothers.
Hard decisions. We all get to this point in our lives, particularly women. Plenty of bipolar women have children--as long as they are mindful of their disorder and keep close-track of their internal process anyone with any disorder can at least be decent parents. No one is perfect. 'Normal' moms have crappy days too.
As far as men, perhaps it is the type of men you're picking? At least in this area, there's plenty of men who neither want nor have children (I'm in the late 30s-age 50 dating pool). I haven't come across my not wanting another child (or sitting on the fence about it depending on the day lol) as a deal breaker either. Perhaps you're attracted to a certain profile/personality type that's really into making a family, etc? Maybe you want to date other personality types instead so that the idea of not having children is less problematic? IDK, just a thought.
Raising children is not always easy. It can be very mentally stressful at times. With you being bipolar, you would be compounding stress for yourself. If you do have children, please be sure that you'll have some help...hands-on help. It's not only your life that having children affects.
We can do almost anything its just sometimes we just have to take a different approach.
hopeful
Yes, I believe it would. It's non-sensical, but at the same time it makes sense. It's the only thing I can actually control which makes it tempting.