i'm a 3b (though with more length the curls are starting to stretch) and i used to relax. i find that the same reasons why i relaxed was the same reason plenty of 4's relax.
my mom had i would say 2b/3a silky fine hair. her wash and goes required not products and she had well defined curls (unless it was humid). she had no clue what to do with my head of hair and i, to this day, still have the "kinkiest" hair on that side of the family. i grew up hearing that i had "pelo malo" meaning bad hair in spanish.
then in school, EVERY black girl had a relaxer. all of their pony tails were slicked and shinny. where as i had the infamous halo and was called several names like don king, grazing bush, light socket (as in i stuck my finger in one) and so on. my hair was usually dry because my mom didnt know what type of moisturizing products to use. she would wash my hair with harsh sulfate poos multiple times and then use a conditioner that was anything but conditioning. no moisturizer, no leave in.
then i got a little older and my mom decided to start using "black" products in my hair... we then got a big tub of blue magic and some pink oil. finally at like 13 (i think) i cried and begged for a relaxer and she finally gave in.
i didnt learn how to do a wash and go until about a year ago. i wasnt using the right products until about a year ago. i was doing everything to "tame" my hair instead of working with it.
so i dont think our stories are that far apart. the grass is always greener on the other side. but if you've never experienced another hair type, then you never really know how good or bad you have it. i remember wishing i had kinkier hair because relaxers didnt do the same thing to my hair that it did to the girls with coarser kinkier hair. i was still a hot mess with a relaxer so its a good thing i stopped lol
sorry so long guys. had to get this out. and nonie, as usual... you always say the right stuff