I went natural......So I could wear a weave

IndianAngel22

IndianAngel22

New Member
I know it sounds odd. But the one and ONLY reason I went natural was so that I could wear my sew ins. And it was HELL let me tell you. After almost 4 full years of being natural, I have JUST FINALLY found the products that help me manage my hair. It is fine, but super super super kinky/curly, but thick? Makes no sense how hard it has been to deal with my hair. When I had a relaxer before the weaves I was the happiest girl in the world. That was back in middle school. I've been wearing a sew in sense my freshman year of high school which was a long time ago. I've graduated college if that tells you anything. Needless to say I did not take good care of my hair underneath, I was still relaxing and getting weaves, which started out with just a few tracks, then turned into a full sew in. By my sophomore year of college I finally looked in the mirror and realized my hair, was gone. I was wearing weaves to cover up the fact that I now hated what was once a beautiful head of relaxed hair. The stress of getting my hair relaxed and wearing sew ins was too much. So that's when I made the choice to go natural. I was wearing my hair under a weave anyway so there was no need to relax anymore. That's when I made my decision to let go of the chemicals.

I big chopped after 6 months and cried my eyes out because I felt like I had no hair and was ugly. It was thin, I had missing patches of hair, it was a train wreck. Fast forward 4 years. I now have a full head of curly natural hair, which is still thin on the ends for some reason, but I'm still satisfied that my hair is healthy at least. When stretched it goes past my shoulders slightly. I did all this, because ..... I love my sew ins. I JUST DO!!! And I know I can't be the only one. I'm just wondering if anyone else has made this decision for the health of their hair in order to rock their favorite extensions? I NEVER wear my own hair out. Ever. Although I could, I just prefer my extensions. I alternate between clip ins to give my real hair a break before the next install, but I'm just one of those people who is not ashamed to say I LOVE MY WEAVES AND I'M NOT LETTING THEM GO!

Which now leads to my 2nd problem, keeping my hair and edges straight -___-. I've bounced back and forth between wanting to relax my edges or top of my hair so it will blend with my weave and not poof up in humidity. Or relax my entire head again and promise to take really really good care of it? It's like I can't win! It's one or the other, and I'm afraid of going backwards. Now I'm putting so much heat on my edges and left out hair trying to keep it straight each day that it's shorter than the rest of my natural hair. Is there no middle ground here?! Please tell your stories and let me know if you're feeling me, or you think I'm crazy. *shrug* it's ok, I'll listen.

Sidenote: The one thing I do have to say about the difference between my relaxed hair and my natural hair. When I straighten it it's not the same. When it was relaxed, it would hang nice and heavy after being straightened. Now that it's natural, I can't wear it straight if I wanted to. There is NO swing. No matter how hard I press it. *sigh*
 
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*sigh* I wish I had some really good advice for you OP. I'm stuck on the fact that you don't EVER want to rock your hair.

With weaves you have the ultimate PS. So I ask, what are you doing to take care of your hair while its in the weave? After 4 years of being natural you should have more than SL hair.

Can you give us a lil more about your hair care reggie? Even if you don't rock your hair I would love for you to have a banging head of long healthy hair under that weave.
 
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I dunno...i think you really need to make an effort to care for your own hair then maybe you will learn to love your own hair instead of weave. If you don't take care of your hair under weave your hair will be a mess and as you get older your edges will really start to disappear.
 
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Yeah.... We don't really do that here. Most of us weave with a purpose: giving our hair a break so ultimately we can grow it to its desired length then STOP or at leave give the weaves a break.

So what you will learn on this site is how to love and take care of the hair you have while enjoying your weave in the mean time. 4 yrs natural? If you practiced some of the techniques here your hair could be twice as long by now and maybe then you would like your hair more than weaves.
 
Hmm... there must be someone who understands how you feel. I'm just not sure you'll find that person here on a hair board that's essentially about growing out long, healthy hair. But, you're here, right? So, maybe.

I started wearing weaves in my junior year of high school after 2 years of cornrows and also wore them most of the time in college. I went natural once in 2006 for about 9 months because I was scared of damaging my scalp. Then natural again just cause. (I was already a relaxer stretcher). Then natural again with a purpose in early '09. I'm texlaxed now and in a weave for the first time in a while and I can't stand it. I used to at least enjoy my weaves. I mean, I still protective style with half-wigs, but this weave feels like a hair prison, not a security blanket. Maybe if you wear your hair out more and grow it out, you'll enjoy it more than the weave and be able to keep it healthy.

Good luck!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
OP do what you want with your hair. If you're having to straighten your left out hair everyday you may as well relax it. Unless you are confident you can look after your hidden hair I would hold off on relaxing the whole head - or stretch to relaxing it twice a year since its always wove up.

Once you see how great your own hair looks (and how long it gets) you may decide to wear it out sometimes - but when that will be is up to you. Do a search for weave care and check out Reniece's fotki if you haven't already. HTH
 
When I first came on this site I dubbed myself an ex-micro-braids abuser. I rocked micros for 6 or 7 years straight until I had no edges left. That's when I knew there was a problem. Wearing braids was fun and easy but I had to wake up from that dream because it was causing traction alopecia. I realized that most of my female family members were wearing wigs and full weaves because they HAD to and I was heading in the same direction.

Fast forward to 2 years later: My hair is BSL, I have edges again and I don't wear extensions anymore and probably never will again. I don't feel the need to. It was hard to accept my hair in the beginning but it's also fun to see my hair change and grow longer. Good luck on your HHJ.
 
It sounds like you want your hair to be in a state where it's more comptabile with your weave, rather then in it's healthiest condition.

You may need to decide what's in important to you-- looking good in your weave or having healthier/longer hair.

If both are important to you, your going to have to let go of constantly wearing a sew-ins and not caring for your hair underneath. I know very few people that wear constant, back to back installs with no thinning, breakage, or low growth retention issues.
 
There are a few individuals that have worn weaves often and/or back to back with success like Ediese (here on LHCF) taz007 and pamera (on BHM I don't frequent there often so those are just the two off my head). But their main objective is for growing and maintaing healthy hair. You won't see them flat-ironing leave out's daily or at all.

Does your hair not maintain straightness? There are so many tips for helping natural hair maintain sleekness and bounce while straightened. Try using a serum, some have used a tiny dab of shea butter while pressing (including flat-ironing). I think the best way to have a great long lasting press is making sure you're hair is moisturized beforehand ex: pre-pooing, moisture DC.

I really think you should take some time to learn your hair because if it's it damaged it will be harder to maintain on all levels imo. Even while weaved up you're having issues and that shouldn't be the case unless your hair just can't tolerate being under those conditions, the only way you'll find out is if you deal with your hair. So I say check out the website, search w/e is on your mind, and you'll find some answers.

Can you give us a reggie?
 
IMHO, I would just cut my natural hair off (enough to install sew ins) and wear the sew ins. You never wear your natural hair anyway so what it the big deal? You are making it more difficult that it really is. You are trying to have the best of both worlds and at this point in the game you can't. Be aware that your edges will slowly start creeping away.
 
LOL this is exactly why and the ONLY reason I am natural.

I just wanted to thicken up my edges and leave-out.

I could care less about wearing my real hair out because I have trichotillomania so weave is what I plan to stay in for a long time :look:
 
I think you should get a perm. those pieces of hair that you straighten EVERYDAY will continue to break until you don't even have the option to relax. At this point it's still an option along with just getting full head sew ins.
 
Sounds like you're not in love with your hair you're in love with weaves. So in that case just get a full sew in with closure and be done. Take care of the hair underneath the best you can & good luck.
 
Could you tell us what your reggie is? How often do you moisturize, deep condition and trim? Straightening your hair everyday is not a good thing and you're already seeing the effects of it. I don't think I know of anyone who wears weaves almost nonstop without their edges taking a leave of absence.

Examine your feelings about your hair. How you feel about your hair has an impact on how you treat it. If you don't keep your own hair healthy, there won't be anything to attach the weave to.

Check out the reggies of those with hair similar to yours. By your description, I'm guessing you're a dense type 4 and there's a lot of people with that hair type here. Just do a search.:yep:
 
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I think you might mean you love straight texture weaves. There's plenty of weave hair these days that mimics type 3ish and even a few type 4 simulants that you could use and blend your own hair in without chemical relaxers or heat. Alternatively you can use closures, or duby style weaves so that you don't need to leave any of your own hair out. Before you start worrying about looking "wiggy" full head styles can look natural too if you know how to cut and style them - or your stylist does. Ironing a leave out and your sides daily or multiple times in a week is no good coz that hair is never going to thrive. And since it's sitting front and center on your head, you can't hide it, so it ties you to weaves. For the record I like weave hair coz it allows me to do all kinds of stylies without bothering my own hair - but I don't use weaves or hair pieces all the time. So if you're going to keep wearing weaves maybe rethink your m.o so that they work for you and not against you.
 
I use weaves to give my hair a break. Usually about 6 months out of the year.

I texlax my hair. I never touch up the hair under the weave. I will however touch up the leaveout hair when I change installs. (not every time) This is easier for me since i don't like heat.

So I usually end up touching up my new growth twice a year and the leaveout three times a year.

I don't see why u can't at least texlax (use a relaxer to soften your curl pattern) this way the texture won't be sooooo different than your natural hair, but it will be easier to straighten.

I would also suggest wearing kinky curly textured hair. That way you don't have to blend as much.

I would also suggest trying half wigs in a curly pattern to give your hair a break.



Sent from my iPhone while out living my best life!
 
cami88 said:
Not neccesarily. Being natural isn't a free pass straight to long hair. You also have to take care of it, or at least not go out of your way to damage it....
Click to expand...


I think that is what they meant...That if the op were actually taking care of her hair, she would have more than just almost SL hair after 4 years.



Op, I say go ahead and relax your edges. You're abusing them already anyway and don't plan to stop. relaxer may be less damaging than everyday haet in the long run. I'm curious as to why you are in length challenges though, since you never EVER plan to were your natural hair out.

I just think that you haven't actually processed the idea that your own hair could look better than the weave if you take care of it.
 
Somewhere in India is a bald headed woman crying LOL

Hey OP I know you're not new to this site. I remember you from back in the day. I say wear whatever you want, but be careful because you might lose your edges.


Sent from my fancy iPhone using LHCF
 
OP, please do not to partially relax your hair. If you're going to get a relaxer, do the whole thing. Doing only a part of it is only asking for trouble.

If you do decide to relax, I'd recommend that you look into texlaxing. I think it'll be perfect for you, because generally, texlaxed hair has more integrity than bonelaxed hair, so theoretically, it should be better able to stand up to the stress of sew-ins and take downs. But because you're still loosening your texture, you should have better luck with getting it straight without having to press it half to death.

And some of these responses are so unnecessary.
Why do ya'll have to be this way all the time? :ohwell:
 
But WHY don't you want to give up weaves? Ever!?
Weaves should serve a purpose (temporary change/protective style/special occasion etc.)

Whatever you do, hair worn under a weave should be HEALTHY.
Just like you shouldn't relax unhealthy hair.
or Color/Dye/Bleach unhealthy hair.
You shouldn't weave unhealthy hair.

Best thing is to get to a weave specialist who will explain the rules of weave care:yep:
 
cami88 said:
Not neccesarily. Being natural isn't a free pass straight to long hair. You also have to take care of it, or at least not go out of your way to damage it....
Click to expand...

No where in my post did I imply that having natural hair was a "free pass" to having long hair.

If someone is PS 24/7 for 4 years, and are taking care of their hair-- they should have hair WAY longer than SL.
 
Ok so I gave this thread a little time to develop on it's own. A lot of you mentioned my hair should be longer than shoulder length by now. This post was written before taking down my last install. I haven't measured my hair in a year so now that I'm back I took down this install and decided to straighten it. I have reached armpit length now....... BUT... it is still very thin when pressed out. It is not a thick armpit length. Straight that is where it lands from front and back. But I am in no way happy with it. I'm giving it a few weeks to breath.

A few asked my regime. When weaved I wash it once every week and a half. I wear indi remi ocean wave which is a loose curl pattern. I wash with pantene pro- v relaxed and natural shampoo and conditioner. I then let the hair air dry a little and apply a curl cream scrunch, and diffuse the curls. I put aphogee leave in and keratin reconstructor, and a little chi serum onto my real hair at the top, sometimes a small dab of vitapoint, then blowdry and straighten the hair at the top, and curl it into the curl pattern of the weave once it is dry. When I take my weaves down I wash with pantene shampoo, deep condition with mane & tail moisturizing conditioner, sometimes under a dryer sometimes not. Then I seperate all the sections, apply the same products I do to my top hair if it were weaved, twist them out, and straighten in the morning if I plan on wearing clip ins. If going straight into a new install I just blowdry it after the products and get the next install....

In my mind I take pretty good care of my hair, a lot of it learned from this site. When wet and shrunken the hair is thick, and full, and really hard to manage but my conditioner provides enough slip to detangle. I use a wig brush or a denman. But once pressed out, it's just thin. It just is. I can't explain it.

Some of you have recommended I texlax. I have thought about this man times but have just been worried that it'd be just as bad as fully relaxing. If not, then I'm down to do that tomorrow! If it is, then maybe I shouldn't :/

I do have to admit, I don't "moisturize" under my weave as good as I should mainly because I wash it weekly anyway? and it gets all over the hair. I use a lot of moisturizer when I'm taking my braids down. Or if it feels dry I will go between my braids with a leave in like Cantu. I probably should always do that.

And for my last answer, it's not that I don't want to wear my own hair. If my own hair was the same thick texture as some of my other friends I would wear it all the time. It's the fact that there is absolutely no weight to my hair at all. It's just fluff. I was born with this texture. I also work in an industry where my image is everything. I do model & sing so it's part of who I am as an artist you could say. I am in no hurry to get rid of them. I don't braid up my edges in order to keep them healthy so I have had no loss of my edges, if anything they have gotten thicker and longer. I am just looking to maybe find people on here who feel the same as I do about keeping their hair sewn up, and maybe some solutions. I don't want to be bashed for my preference. It is what I prefer. I am happy with my own hair in the sense that I know I could cut it all short and still be beautiful I no longer have that issue emotionally.
 
JayAnn0513 said:
Yeah.... We don't really do that here. Most of us weave with a purpose: giving our hair a break so ultimately we can grow it to its desired length then STOP or at leave give the weaves a break.

So what you will learn on this site is how to love and take care of the hair you have while enjoying your weave in the mean time. 4 yrs natural? If you practiced some of the techniques here your hair could be twice as long by now and maybe then you would like your hair more than weaves.
Click to expand...

JayAnn0513 Love it. :yep:
 
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