I want to surprise him

isawstars

isawstars

Well-Known Member
I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month. We met 3 months or so ago through mutual friends. Every girl he's dated after high school has cheated on him. He even dated my ex friend a few years ago and she cheated on him like crazy but he still doesn't know... so according to him only 1 girl hasn't cheated on him.

Although this guy is no where near a stud, in my eyes he is because he treats me SO WELL and we have amazing chemistry. The last 3 guys I dated were gorgeous but treated me like crap. And my new guy has been nothing less than incredible.

With all that being said... I want to do something special... out of the blue for him. He doesn't work on July 5th, so I thought about asking if I can come by in the morning (I unfortunately have to work in the evening), and cook a big breakfast for him. But of course not tell him that's what I plan to do all along. We don't do the whole spend the night thing just yet, so I can't be extra sneaky and slip out of bed early to cook him a big breakfast.

Is that an okay idea or not? Are there any other ideas I could do to reciprocate everything he's done for me and how much I appreciate it? I'd love to hear personal experiences as well.

Thanks ladies
 
I think its a great idea. I know the "rules" say we shouldn't be reciprocating favors for new boyfriends or lovers, but if he is treating you well and making the effort, why not do a little something to bring a smile to his face? He has and continues to bring a smile to yours. I say go for it. :)
 
I agree with Rastafarai, I made the mistake of following the "rules" to literally and didn't do anything for my SO in the beginning of our relationship. Well turns out he was looking for those qualities in a woman (showing appreciation from time to time). After a couple of months he finally came out and told me and admitted that was why he was holding back in furthering our relationship because he figured I didn't care. Although guys don't say it I really think they look at little things like that and appreciate you making them feel special occasionally. Cook that man some breakfast!
 
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I think it's a nice thing to do. If you feel he deserves, go ahead. Sometimes you have to make your own rules.
 
PopLife said:
I agree with Rastafarai, I made the mistake of following the "rules" to literally and didn't do anything for my SO in the beginning of our relationship. Well turns out he was looking for those qualities in a woman (showing appreciation from time to time). After a couple of months he finally came out and told me and admitted that was why he was holding back in furthering our relationship because he figured I didn't care. Although guys don't say it I really think they look at little things like that and appreciate you making them feel special occasionally. Cook that man some breakfast!
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Wow thanks for sharing that! I'm still looking for other ideas though... I haven't cooked a legit breakfast in a long time... I don't wanna embarrass myself haha.
 
I think it's sweet of you to want to do something nice for him. Like PopLife, I had a similar experience actually.

Nevertheless, cooking breakfast is an intimate thing (for me)... or just cooking, period :lol: (mostly b/c i'm not that great at it :look:)
I would instead do something outdoors. You say you work in the evening. If you have enough time during the day, I would even organize a little picnic of some sort... everything could be store bought:lol: but hey, it's still a picnic. All you'd have to make, for example, is just a light dessert.

I think it's great to show appreciation, and I think one way to do that is by initiating DATES (not to be confused with providing nooky, or speeding up other forms of intimacy (emotional, especially). For someone like me, cooking would be a little too much, but orchestrating an outdoor date would be ideal (especially if I am not trying to give off the impression that every date after that can be an indoor date since I set the stage for that, you know?)
 
CarLiTa said:
I think it's sweet of you to want to do something nice for him. Like PopLife, I had a similar experience actually.

Nevertheless, cooking breakfast is an intimate thing (for me)... or just cooking, period :lol: (mostly b/c i'm not that great at it :look:)
I would instead do something outdoors. You say you work in the evening. If you have enough time during the day, I would even organize a little picnic of some sort... everything could be store bought:lol: but hey, it's still a picnic. All you'd have to make, for example, is just a light dessert.

I think it's great to show appreciation, and I think one way to do that is by initiating DATES (not to be confused with providing nooky, or speeding up other forms of intimacy (emotional, especially). For someone like me, cooking would be a little too much, but orchestrating an outdoor date would be ideal (especially if I am not trying to give off the impression that every date after that can be an indoor date since I set the stage for that, you know?)
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I'm definitely not trying to initiate nooky and confuse him haha. The picnic is a great idea. Thanks!
 
I also agree with Carlita's idea!

Definitely do something nice, but save the cooking for later... he's still not your man yet, so don't go overboard!
 
awhyley said:
No cooking? OP, you're you're back to the drawing board then. Any other ideas?
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haha. i know! I'm absolutely stumped at the moment. PLUS, I just remembered that he doesn't eat breakfast in the MORNING haha. He can't stomach food in the morning or something.... so I was gonna have to scatch that idea anyways! haha

Ugh and Google isn't helpful because it's way overboard. Maybe I'll do something simple... hmmm. My best friend said she left her boyfriend notes in his room before they became official... but that might be too cheesy? I don't know...

Please send ideas my way!
 
I like the outdoorsy idea. :yep:

Just do something sweet, simple, and (I agree) not TOO overboard. You guys have only been dating a little over a month, so I would do something sweet that lets him know that you're thinking of him every once in a while, but not something TOO over the top. YKWIM??

What about a nice walk in the park? Or, how about surprising him with a cookie (or some other nice little treat he likes to eat) the next time you see him? I think he would like something small out of the blue. :yep:
 
OT: Those women cheated on him for a reason so tread cautiously. He is the only thing they all have in common so he is either the reason they cheated because he didn't treat them well or he picked women who have a tendency to cheat. It seems highly unlikely though that all the women would cheated on him so again be careful.
 
yardyspice said:
OT: Those women cheated on him for a reason so tread cautiously. He is the only thing they all have in common so he is either the reason they cheated because he didn't treat them well or he picked women who have a tendency to cheat. It seems highly unlikely though that all the women would cheated on him so again be careful.
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You know, I overlooked this part at first.

This is a very good point. What you said, and also the fact that he felt the need to point this out to you... it sounds like the men who say to a woman, "Every woman leaves me," and then when the latest one decides to leave, he says, "See, you're just like every other woman," as a guilt tactic.

I remember dating a guy who said most women he knew were irrational, except me of course. Well, close to our breakup when we were arguing, he was like, "You women! Do you go to school to learn how to act so ridiculously? You're just like everyone else!"

Yeah, okay dude... whatever...

So, I would suggest to be careful of this dude. They're all wonderful and nice in the beginning, but I BET that the whole "every woman cheated on me" thing is going to rear its ugly head in the future...
 
Thanks ladies for the heads up. I will definitely keep my eyes open. I never thought about it that way... does it make a difference if he never said that to me though? his friends told me about his cheating girlfriends so I asked him about it. If I never brought it up I doubt he would have said anything.... because I don't think it's something you'd want to go around telling people. THen again, some people are kind of strange like that.... hmmm

Well, we're actually in a legit relationship as of yesterday.
 
isawstars said:
Thanks ladies for the heads up. I will definitely keep my eyes open. I never thought about it that way... does it make a difference if he never said that to me though? his friends told me about his cheating girlfriends so I asked him about it. If I never brought it up I doubt he would have said anything.... because I don't think it's something you'd want to go around telling people. THen again, some people are kind of strange like that.... hmmm

Well, we're actually in a legit relationship as of yesterday.
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Congratulations! :)

I think it does make somewhat of a difference since your friends told you and he didn't himself. I think better of the situation now, and like you said, I don't think that's something you want to go around telling people either.

In general (and I'd say that with any man), just keep your eyes open, like you said. Nearly every man is a perfect angel in the beginning, so just watch and see how he continues to behave. He's gonna have his ups and downs like every man, but you just want to make sure that for the most part, he's still a great guy.

Have fun, be careful and enjoy! :)
 
so what are your plans for today? i disagree with the op's about since the women cheated it maybe something wrong with him....certainly we should be cautious when thing are new but sometimes we go situations with SO's and and people because the universe is trying to teeach us a lesson, if we don't get it it will keep rearing its ugly head. maybe he was a pushover back then and not as confident in himself.
i have had many issues with men mistreating me and its not cause i'm a bad person....in hindsight i was looking for love and acceptance which is rooted in some nasty stuff from childhood. I am focusing on loving me more and other areas of self improvement,like forgiveness. please keep us posted on the outcome!
 
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