"I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibility"
- Thread starter Maracujá
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Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
well that needs to be said up front! especially if you are younger. if you have children, it can become a default!
well that needs to be said up front! especially if you are younger. if you have children, it can become a default!
SHEANITPRO
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
Her statement is absolutely acceptable for a single woman without children.
Her statement is absolutely acceptable for a single woman without children.
kibbles318
Well-Known Member
Lmbo... Too funny but probably true.
Detroit2Dallas
New Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I dont get it, will he starve if she doesnt cook? Whats the issue here?
I dont get it, will he starve if she doesnt cook? Whats the issue here?
cutiebe2
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
The marriage wouldn't of lasted. Stedman is a traditional guy and she is not a traditional woman, hence she does not want to cook out of "wife duty", just once in a while because she feels like it. So marriage is not right for her. And because Stedman is such a traditional guy, it would have been hard for him (or anyone) to take a back seat/ be in the shadow of his wife and would have eventually caused tension.
He asked her why she wasn't married to Stedman and she said:
The marriage wouldn't of lasted. Stedman is a traditional guy and she is not a traditional woman, hence she does not want to cook out of "wife duty", just once in a while because she feels like it. So marriage is not right for her. And because Stedman is such a traditional guy, it would have been hard for him (or anyone) to take a back seat/ be in the shadow of his wife and would have eventually caused tension.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
and that's what she is: a single woman without children.
Well, I don't buy it. Steady is just as new agey as she is. All the he is a traditional guy does not add up. A traditional guy IMO would not "date" a woman for that long or accept such a secondary role. I don't know many women who could play the role he plays in their dynamic. 1st example: talking about and gushing over a female friend more than him. Even a timid woman would only tolerate that for so long. 2nd example: she's in Chicago @ Obama's acceptance speech with Steadman, and somehow manages to sidle up to some strange white man she doesn't know and puts her head on his shoulder as she cries and is filled with emotion. And that is the pic that ends up everywhere. I'm just saying: he is NOT a traditional man
.
and that's what she is: a single woman without children.Well, I don't buy it. Steady is just as new agey as she is. All the he is a traditional guy does not add up. A traditional guy IMO would not "date" a woman for that long or accept such a secondary role. I don't know many women who could play the role he plays in their dynamic. 1st example: talking about and gushing over a female friend more than him. Even a timid woman would only tolerate that for so long. 2nd example: she's in Chicago @ Obama's acceptance speech with Steadman, and somehow manages to sidle up to some strange white man she doesn't know and puts her head on his shoulder as she cries and is filled with emotion. And that is the pic that ends up everywhere. I'm just saying: he is NOT a traditional man
.
Nina_deF
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
It's still acceptable if you're married with children.
Cooking is a choice, not a must because of your gender.
It's still acceptable if you're married with children.
Cooking is a choice, not a must because of your gender.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
Maybe Steadman is one of those 'selective' traditional men. You know, the ones who want to the wife to be traditional when he wants her to be. Example: wife must work to help with bills, but is expected to cook and clean and tend to children because it's traditional and it helps him feel like a man
Well, I don't buy it. Steady is just as new agey as she is. All the he is a traditional guy does not add up. A traditional guy IMO would not "date" a woman for that long or accept such a secondary role. I don't know many women who could play the role he plays in their dynamic. 1st example: talking about and gushing over a female friend more than him. Even a timid woman would only tolerate that for so long. 2nd example: she's in Chicago @ Obama's acceptance speech with Steadman, and somehow manages to sidle up to some strange white man she doesn't know and puts her head on his shoulder as she cries and is filled with emotion. And that is the pic that ends up everywhere. I'm just saying: he is NOT a traditional man
Maybe Steadman is one of those 'selective' traditional men. You know, the ones who want to the wife to be traditional when he wants her to be. Example: wife must work to help with bills, but is expected to cook and clean and tend to children because it's traditional and it helps him feel like a man
Honi
There is no board.
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
She has got to have a better answer than that. She's wealthy. She has a chef. If she don't want to cook, the chef will
The marriage not lasting because of him being a "shadow" sounds more like it but did Stedman say that? Or did Oprah assume that he would feel that way?
She has got to have a better answer than that. She's wealthy. She has a chef. If she don't want to cook, the chef will
The marriage not lasting because of him being a "shadow" sounds more like it but did Stedman say that? Or did Oprah assume that he would feel that way?
awhyley
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I don't understand why she thinks it would be her responsibility if they were married.
I don't understand why she thinks it would be her responsibility if they were married.
ebonylocs
New Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I don't understand. Doesn't Oprah know that it is up to the *individuals* involved to set the rules for their marriage? There are no~ MARRIAGE RULES ~ sitting somewhere on a stone scroll that everyone who gets married has to abide by. Does every married woman in America cook for her husband as a *duty*?
The "Steadman is traditional and would want a traditional wife" statement would make the above make more sense. But like Hopeful I don't buy that. Steadman has been non-traditional enough to accept their unconventional relationship all these years. I'm sure he would be flexible enough to accept that Oprah would only cook when she's in the mood, and the rest of the time he would be fed by the best personal or restaurant chefs that money can buy.
To summarise: Nothing wrong with the statement per se, but it makes absolutely no sense as a response to THAT question.
I don't understand. Doesn't Oprah know that it is up to the *individuals* involved to set the rules for their marriage? There are no~ MARRIAGE RULES ~ sitting somewhere on a stone scroll that everyone who gets married has to abide by. Does every married woman in America cook for her husband as a *duty*?
The "Steadman is traditional and would want a traditional wife" statement would make the above make more sense. But like Hopeful I don't buy that. Steadman has been non-traditional enough to accept their unconventional relationship all these years. I'm sure he would be flexible enough to accept that Oprah would only cook when she's in the mood, and the rest of the time he would be fed by the best personal or restaurant chefs that money can buy.
To summarise: Nothing wrong with the statement per se, but it makes absolutely no sense as a response to THAT question.
SHEANITPRO
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I agree. In this instance though, Oprah is speaking for herself...a
single woman with no children.
I agree. In this instance though, Oprah is speaking for herself...a
single woman with no children.
cutiebe2
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
Well she did make it clear that their relationship is anything BUT traditional. But I think the knew that dynamic would change if they got married.
Everyone should just watch the interview, lol. Her logic made sense to me and she can explain herself better that me just paraphrasing
Well, I don't buy it. Steady is just as new agey as she is. All the he is a traditional guy does not add up. A traditional guy IMO would not "date" a woman for that long or accept such a secondary role. I don't know many women who could play the role he plays in their dynamic. 1st example: talking about and gushing over a female friend more than him. Even a timid woman would only tolerate that for so long. 2nd example: she's in Chicago @ Obama's acceptance speech with Steadman, and somehow manages to sidle up to some strange white man she doesn't know and puts her head on his shoulder as she cries and is filled with emotion. And that is the pic that ends up everywhere. I'm just saying: he is NOT a traditional man
Well she did make it clear that their relationship is anything BUT traditional. But I think the knew that dynamic would change if they got married.
She said that at first she was always the one saying it would not work but then one day Stedman turned to her and said looking back she is right, it would not have workedShe has got to have a better answer than that. She's wealthy. She has a chef. If she don't want to cook, the chef will
The marriage not lasting because of him being a "shadow" sounds more like it but did Stedman say that? Or did Oprah assume that he would feel that way?
Everyone should just watch the interview, lol. Her logic made sense to me and she can explain herself better that me just paraphrasing
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
i think oprah knows oprah and is a powerful woman and wants to do what the **** she wants to do...
i also think that she does not like to fail or be associated with failure in anyway...
The struggle she has with her weight issues have always been a topic of discussion w/her in regard to the dark side of O…imagine being that successful and going through a divorce or not being a great mom…
I don’t have a good read on Stedman because he just doesn’t seem interesting to me...handsome but yawn..
I luv that fact that O plays by her own rules…she has her success her bestie and her man…and she does what she wants…at this stage in the game ppl r still vedddy intrigued by her..imho she goes against the white picket fence..marriage to make me complete mantra…
just my 2 cents..
i think oprah knows oprah and is a powerful woman and wants to do what the **** she wants to do...
i also think that she does not like to fail or be associated with failure in anyway...
The struggle she has with her weight issues have always been a topic of discussion w/her in regard to the dark side of O…imagine being that successful and going through a divorce or not being a great mom…
I don’t have a good read on Stedman because he just doesn’t seem interesting to me...handsome but yawn..
I luv that fact that O plays by her own rules…she has her success her bestie and her man…and she does what she wants…at this stage in the game ppl r still vedddy intrigued by her..imho she goes against the white picket fence..marriage to make me complete mantra…
just my 2 cents..
ebonylocs
New Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I don't think most of us are commenting on the relationship, just whether her statement makes sense in context.
To me Oprah and Steadman should do as they dang well please. Oprah does not owe any explanation to anyone. So it baffles me that she trotted out that silly one.
I don't think most of us are commenting on the relationship, just whether her statement makes sense in context.
To me Oprah and Steadman should do as they dang well please. Oprah does not owe any explanation to anyone. So it baffles me that she trotted out that silly one.
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I think her statement makes perfect sense. She will do what she wants to do when she does it. Stud-y can take it or leave it and he is free to do the same. It really isn't as deep as the media and other folks try to make it out to be.
Bmack
Active Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I am married and I feel the same. I never loved to cook and I am fortunate enough to have a Husband that loves to and knows how to cook-Bam!
There are no rules set in stone. My situation works for my DH, and me it might not work for someone else...single or otherwise. I do not think it is that serious personally.
I am married and I feel the same. I never loved to cook and I am fortunate enough to have a Husband that loves to and knows how to cook-Bam!
There are no rules set in stone. My situation works for my DH, and me it might not work for someone else...single or otherwise. I do not think it is that serious personally.
Triniwegian
New Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
I love to cook and it is one of the ways I like to show people that I love them...So for me, I have no problem being the traditional homemaker. I would never want my husband (future) to cook because he does not know his way around a kitchen.
BUT, I don't believe her reasoning for not marrying Steadman...She is probably scared he'll take her money.
I love to cook and it is one of the ways I like to show people that I love them...So for me, I have no problem being the traditional homemaker. I would never want my husband (future) to cook because he does not know his way around a kitchen.
BUT, I don't believe her reasoning for not marrying Steadman...She is probably scared he'll take her money.
AstroQueen77
Well-Known Member
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
seriously, what was that about? did they ever track the man down?
Well, I don't buy it. Steady is just as new agey as she is. All the he is a traditional guy does not add up. A traditional guy IMO would not "date" a woman for that long or accept such a secondary role. I don't know many women who could play the role he plays in their dynamic. 1st example: talking about and gushing over a female friend more than him. Even a timid woman would only tolerate that for so long. 2nd example: she's in Chicago @ Obama's acceptance speech with Steadman, and somehow manages to sidle up to some strange white man she doesn't know and puts her head on his shoulder as she cries and is filled with emotion. And that is the pic that ends up everywhere. I'm just saying: he is NOT a traditional man
seriously, what was that about? did they ever track the man down?
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
That's what made me start this thread. The way she said "it's not my responsibility" it's like she's implying that even if he was eating junk food all day she wouldn't care and that to me is not love. But like the ladies here have mentioned, she does have the means to have cooks and whatnot.
That's what made me start this thread. The way she said "it's not my responsibility" it's like she's implying that even if he was eating junk food all day she wouldn't care and that to me is not love. But like the ladies here have mentioned, she does have the means to have cooks and whatnot.
Hairsnob
Deep Thinker
Re: "I want to cook for him when I feel like it, I don't want it to be my responsibil
You ladies can stone me and call me old school. But I believe it's a wifely duty to cook. Of course some relationships the man likes to cook or you take turns and that's fine. Or because of schedules it works out different. But for the most part, I think of it as a wifely duty.
But how would you like it if your husband said to you:
I don't feel like taking the trash out
I don't feel like getting the car fixed
I don't feel like killing that spider
I don't feel like opening the door for you, etc.
That's just my view on how every partner has duties and trade-offs.
You ladies can stone me and call me old school. But I believe it's a wifely duty to cook. Of course some relationships the man likes to cook or you take turns and that's fine. Or because of schedules it works out different. But for the most part, I think of it as a wifely duty.
But how would you like it if your husband said to you:
I don't feel like taking the trash out
I don't feel like getting the car fixed
I don't feel like killing that spider
I don't feel like opening the door for you, etc.
That's just my view on how every partner has duties and trade-offs.
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