I think... I'm going to relax my hair next month. Any advice?

[HauteHippie]

Hi ladies,

I don't post often, but I'd really like some advice. I went natural (again) in February of 2009. My hair is a 4-something with fine/medium strands and medium density.

When I was younger my mom would pin me down and make me get a relaxer (I was a runaway stretcher back then and I didn't even know it). I'd get the, "Girl, you know your hair is going to fall out if you don't get this relaxer!" speech. She would do it herlself, like a lot of moms, and I would get burns and scabs all over my head. I love my mommy, but she always pulled out relaxer from root to tip (giving me a conehead) and our hair would eventually break off.

When I was cheerleading in high school I always wore it in braids like the rest of the athletes (thank you Nelly and Alicia Keys) and myhair grew to my shoulders. Then, my mom came with the white jar and neutralizing shampoo and that was that. Eventually, we discovered weave and hair glue. From there, it was all a downward spiral... :covereyes

When I got a little older and could afford to get my hair done, I paid a stylist to do my relaxer every 2 - 3 months. My hair was in shockingly good condition and I had no complaints.
Then I transfered colleges and moved to Connecticut.

I was really scared to let anyone else do my hair, so I decided to go natural. I couldn't remember what my natural texture was like anyway and I really love the feel of natural hair. My friends and all the guys I'd dated had also wanted me to go natural and I was in a serious relationship with a guy who really couldn't have cared less if I shaved my head bald. So, I cut it all off and started anew!

The journey was a lot of fun and I'm SO glad I did it. I now know that I can have healthy hair, relaxed or natural.


Now that I am out of college and working, I find myself spending more money on hair products as a natural when compared to when I was relaxed. I don't want to wear sew-ins or half wigs that snag and tangle in my kinky hair. I'm really, REALLY tenderheaded, my head hurts and my arms are tired from messing with my hair.

I also spend much more time doing my hair-- and I share my bathroom with a male... a White one. He never complains, but he gets no bathroom time!

So...

Any ladies go from natural to relaxed?

Thoughts, regrets, advice?

Can you still cowash with a relaxer? Prepoo and ACV rinse? Should I increase my protein?

Any words of wisdom on what I should expect?

Please don't lynch me! I kid, I kid; I just want candid advice!

Also, if you are relaxed, in NYC and love your stylist, please provide their info!

 

[Optimus_Prime]

Of course you can cowash with a relaxer, and you will most likely need protein treatments.
Have you considered just pressing your hair? I think "hard presses" last 2-3 weeks. You can find a stylist to do it.
I would just recommend heat use once a month if it's a question of manageability.

 

[HauteHippie]

Of course you can cowash with a relaxer, and you will most likely need protein treatments.
Have you considered just pressing your hair? I think "hard presses" last 2-3 weeks. You can find a stylist to do it.
I would just recommend heat use once a month if it's a question of manageability.

Hey Optimus_Prime! Long time, no see!

Maybe I should let someone else press my hair. I don't know the difference between a "hard press" and a regular press or flat iron. What's the difference?

I flat ironed the last two and a half inches last night before just giving up and going to sleep. I woke up and it looked just like the hair I hadn't flat ironed!

ETA: I looked up "hard press". I'm too skurred. I've decided to texlax [breaks out into the refrain of Hannah Montana theme song]

 

[beana]

I think you should make a decision based on what you think is best for the health of your hair. My fiance, who is black, gets slightly annoyed on wash day, but I tell him "if you like the way my hair looks during the week, then you need to understand this is what it takes to make it look that way"

I understand that it takes longer to style natural hair, but you have to ask yourself if its worth it for you. It sounds like you relied on the salon to get relaxers in the past, are you ready to go back to that?

I just don't want you to compare the best possible relaxing situation vs your frustrations with styling natural exp. My short term recommendation is to flat iron your hair once or twice a month for a while or maybe try a sew in

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[HauteHippie]

I think you should make a decision based on what you think is best for the health of your hair. My fiance, who is black, gets slightly annoyed on wash day, but I tell him "if you like the way my hair looks during the week, then you need to understand this is what it takes to make it look that way"

I understand that it takes longer to style natural hair, but you have to ask yourself if its worth it for you. It sounds like you relied on the salon to get relaxers in the past, are you ready to go back to that?

I just don't want you to compare the best possible relaxing situation vs your frustrations with styling natural exp. My short term recommendation is to flat iron your hair once or twice a month for a while or maybe try a sew in

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beana Thanks for your input! You're absolutely right. When I look at it from a value/worth standpoint, it's easy to make a decision.

I'm not worried about going to the salon. I spent most of my hair journey in sew-ins (except for the summer) so I'm already used to going to the salon every 2 - 3 months. I am, however, worried about how quickly you can go from healthy hair to unhealthy hair when using chemicals. Or heat. I guess there is always a risk and we have to work to minimize them.

I've been flat ironing my hair twice a month for the last month and a half and had started heat training earlier in the year.

Looks like I'll be texlaxing. I just can't decide to waste 2 - 4 hours on hair. T'was fun while it lasted!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I hope you show us pics if you relax. I miss relaxed hair at times, but now I am learning how to take better care of my natural hair and am having fun with it.

 

[hothair]

I relaxed about a month ago after over 3 years natural. For me its less hassle. I wash and dc once a week, wet wrap under a dryer and wear it pinned up with a side bang all week.

I had no great issues with my natural hair I actually became natural because I colour and relaxers messed my hair up, now I can look after my hair and its actually getting thicker.

I use a lot less products and I can still do my bantu knot-outs and get a curly look with little hassle when I want. I say if you're sure go for it, its just hair here to be enjoyed.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

My only recommendation is to consider rollersets over blowdrying. When I stopped blowdrying the hair growth happened. Also, stay on a good deep conditioning regimen. For me DC'ing was essential at least once a month (I relaxed every 8 weeks) twice a month with color-treating. Also consider adding a hot oil treatment to your regimen during the winter months. These things helped me keep my relaxed hair healthy. I think relaxing is a good option if you want to maintain straight hair and have no problem going to a salon. Just be wary of going to the salon and letting them trim your ends if you are hoping to achieve greater length. Good luck!

ETA: OK, that was about 4 recommendations, but I think they were in order of importance from greatest to least!

 

[BraunSugar]

Now that I am out of college and working, I find myself spending more money on hair products as a natural when compared to when I was relaxed.

Really? I won't spend over 10 bucks on a product & I honestly feel that is a little steep. I don't buy products that are made 'for naturals' or with 'organic' ingredients because I honestly don't need them. I can find products without 'cones & etc. without spending a lot on them.

I have used Garnier, Herbal Essence, Tresseme, Ecostyler, Suave, Shea Butter, EVOO, Aloe Vera Gel, & Hair Mayonnaise. These are all things that are reasonably priced & work pretty well

 

[*C00KIE*]

my advice... don't do it, tis all

 

[Afrobuttafly]

LOL @ Cookie
I just wanna say i really don't understand the whole I'm using more products (or spending more money) than when I was relaxed statement made by not just the op, but others too. Relaxed or natural, all you need are maybe 3-4 staples and stick with them.
1. a nice shampoo
2. a good conditioner
3. a great moisturizer
4. a styling product (for some their moisturizer is also their styling product)
All of which can be found at very reasonable prices. Anything outside of those things is just extra stuff you're choosing to buy. Ijs
I'm not one to discourage you from doing w/e u want with your hair, I'm just saying I don't get that particular argument some people make.

 

[DrC]

Make sure it's what you want.

Happy Hair Growing

 

[southerncitygirl]

EtherealEnigma

i'm natural and don't spend much on product.

i use:
shampoo thats sulfate free or low sulfates
conditioner ( usually aubrey's cause i love ceramides)
water based moisturizer ( oyin hair dew)
ic sparklelites gel
once a month i do a hardcore protein treatment(komaza care)...and i pre-poo before every wash with a cheapie natural condish, aloe ,and oil like evoo, evco from the kitchen.

i don't think most folks should need anymore than 3-5 products in rotation for their hair care needs and they shouldn't be expensive....i tend to buy larger sises and go the online route cause its cheaper over the long haul. that being said i have a few questions for ya:
what are your styles of choice?
are you style challenged?
what products do you currently use?
is it essential that you have straight hair?
what about texlaxing?
do you plan on doing your own hair after the relaxer and just go to the salon for touch-ups?
how long is your hair?
do you have lots of shrinkage?
what products are you using?

whatever you choose i wish you the best of luck....i don't perceive relaxed hair to be anymore low maint. than natural hair as i think density, type, length, texture and thickness are more factor in the styling process. many ppl co-wash that are relaxed but you would have to rotate btw protein and moisture based condishes.


my stylist has a mostly straightened natural clientele but she does do weaves and relaxers. give her a call and tell her i sent ya....her consultations are free:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=543409&highlight=lee+leslie
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=536611&highlight=lee+leslie

 

[brucebettye]

I say do what you want with your hair. You have to deal with it.

 

[AuNaturalMaMa]

Whichever option you decide to go with remember that neither one is carefree. All hair has to be maintained. So, are you willing to maintain your hair throughout your elaxer? Or have someone else do the MAJORITY of it for you? I say majority cause even if you see a stylist there will still be some things you'll have to do @ home to maintain your hair. Wishing you healthy hair growing either way.

 

[HauteHippie]

Oh, snap! I didn't realize this was still going.

I don't spendca lot on each individual product, it's just that I use more of each product as a natural. My hair is thirsty!

I'm pretty style challenged and lazy.... a bad combination, I know. Judging from my past, I won't need to depend on anyone to take care of my relaxed (or in this case, texlaxed hair) the majority of the time, but I can hardly remember the challenges and I know there are some!

It sounds like I'll be doing a lot of the same things with more protein and less detangling time.


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[HauteHippie]

My only recommendation is to consider rollersets over blowdrying. When I stopped blowdrying the hair growth happened. Also, stay on a good deep conditioning regimen. For me DC'ing was essential at least once a month (I relaxed every 8 weeks) twice a month with color-treating. Also consider adding a hot oil treatment to your regimen during the winter months. These things helped me keep my relaxed hair healthy. I think relaxing is a good option if you want to maintain straight hair and have no problem going to a salon. Just be wary of going to the salon and letting them trim your ends if you are hoping to achieve greater length. Good luck!

ETA: OK, that was about 4 recommendations, but I think they were in order of importance from greatest to least!

Thank you! 4 is great! I feel like I'm starting all over again!

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[HauteHippie]

what are your styles of choice?
are you style challenged?
what products do you currently use?
is it essential that you have straight hair?
what about texlaxing?
do you plan on doing your own hair after the relaxer and just go to the salon for touch-ups?
how long is your hair?
do you have lots of shrinkage?
what products are you using

Placeholder...

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[Your Cheeziness]

Any ladies go from natural to relaxed? I did, in April.

Thoughts, regrets, advice? He!! no, I was excited to relax. I'd thought about it long and hard and made the best decision for me and my lifestyle.

Can you still cowash with a relaxer? Yes, but I don't do it often. Just don't find that I need to. If I do, it's after a really hard workout.

Prepoo and ACV rinse? Nope and nope.

Should I increase my protein? Do what your hair tells you. I haven't had protein since my virgin relaxer.

Any words of wisdom on what I should expect? Well, for me, I got a dramatic decrease in time spent styling my hair. I did have to switch out my styling products, but I pretty much knew what my hair liked. I dumped the butters and oils and went back to serum. And the biggest thing that I stop using so much product. My relaxed (actually texlaxed) hair needs waaaay less product for a great style.

 

[Nix08]

EtherealEnigma sorry if I missed it...how did your relaxer turn out?

 

[HauteHippie]

Whew, thank you Nix08 for bumping this. I couldn't find it using my phone!

I went to Juanita's salon in Brooklyn. She reluctantly texlaxed my hair. ;-) She wanted me to stay chemical-free. She also gave me a little trim.

Before chemicals:


After chemicals:


My hair still has texture, but blowdrying takes about 20 minutes and I can still rock decent twist/twistouts.



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[Nix08]

Ahh very nice You'll get some great twist/braid outs and be nice a straight when you're ready...I know the creamy crack is bad but..........